A/N : Thanx to everyone who reviewed he previous chapter; Onion Petal, spikeswife1, wicked-angel3, Ahna the Bloody, Mariana, msberry, Mr Lennox I pressume, angelash, Higgy's Red. I seem to be back in the flow of this story, which it seems that you guys really appreciate, although I have to say, this chapter was not simple for me...fingers crossed that it's not too dire!

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 8

Two weeks had passed since the day in the park when Buffy had finally managed to find that closeness with Spike that she so needed and craved. Her bosses had been thrilled with her progress as far as information was concerned, he'd started to open up a lot more in the few dates they'd had recently, although they were no closer to proving that he was guilty of what they accused him.

For the most part, Buffy realised she wasn't really trying to get information on that particular event, because in her mind, she simply could not accept that this was the man who committed the crime. How could this sweet and gentle man be guilty of murdering a woman he professed to be in love with? There was just no way it could be true. Perhaps her feelings were clouding her judgement, she'd seen it happen to others before, but this seemed different. No-one made her feel the way Spike did, and the sensible part of her brain reminded her it was nothing more than the thrill of flirting with danger, dancing too close to the fire.

Still, whatever the reasons for her attraction to this man, the point was she was going to have to deal with it. If she wanted a future with him the only way was to prove his innocence, yet she could not say for certain that he wasn't guilty. Even if she could clear him of the charge, with fair means or foul, what was he going to think of her when she admitted why she'd originally met him in that bar?

Guilt would be the death of her, if the rest of her strong emotions didn't beat it to the task, but right now Buffy was desperate to block it all out and concentrate on the job at hand. There was that word again - job. Spending time with Spike, just like she would be tonight, was nothing like a job or a hardship. She loved his company, his conversation, she loved being close to him and she'd never felt so alive as those few times when he'd dared to kiss her.

Checking herself in the mirror one final time, Buffy picked up her purse and headed out of the front door. She had to be crazy, of course she knew that, because here she was going off to eat dinner at a suspected murderer's apartment. She hated to think of it that way, but once in a while reality would hit her like a smack in the face and she had no choice but to see the world as it really was - harsh, cruel, and unfair.

'Get the information and get out' she kept telling herself it was the only way to get through this, just muddle through until he confessed or until she could find a way to prove his innocence, and then run like hell. But could she really let him go when this was over? Would she even have a choice?

- - - - - -

He had to be crazy, simply had to be, because there was just no other way that Spike could justify what was happening in his life. After that fateful day seven months ago, he swore he'd never get close to anyone again, especially not a woman. Then he'd met Buffy, and she'd turned his life upside down. When she looked at him it was like magic, when they talked it was so easy, and when they kissed, he couldn't even begin to describe what she did to him. Of course he knew it was all wrong. By concealing the truth of his past he was indirectly lying to her, and in the end when the truth came out she was going to run away as fast as her legs would allow, he just knew it. Still, he could not bring himself to confess right now. He was learning to live again through her, seeing the sun and feeling that life was worth living after all.

She'd arrive soon he realised as he checked his watch and stirred the bolognese sauce in the pan on the stove. He preferred to be alone with her, still uncomfortable amongst large crowds of people. She didn't question why he hid so much, why he'd always been alone at the bar, or why his clothes varied little from uniform black. These people that accepted the world as they found it, not questioning anything or anyone, Spike knew they existed but never thought he'd meet one he could love. In all honesty he never thought he'd love again after the first time.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts and he moved to let Buffy in. He took a deep breath before he opened the door, he always had to since it was so difficult to relax when she first walked in. Her beauty almost blinded him, and her want to be close to him made life more than a little difficult. He tensed when she reached to hug him, but just for a second before he revelled in her the feel of her arms around him and the perfect way she fit in his own.

Buffy always had to take a deep breath before she knocked on Spike's door. All the stories she'd heard about him before she met him made her more than a little nervous of crossing that threshold into his apartment and his world. She trusted him, as much as anyone would having only had a few dates with the guy, but that little voice in the back of her head just refused to stop telling her what an idiot she was, and how dangerous the game she was playing really was.

She managed a smile, a hello, and gave him a hug which seemed to help calm both of them down. When she was close to him the little danger-voice got quieter, because there was simply no way any part of her could feel anything other than safe when he held her this way.

Buffy didn't try to kiss him, he never seemed completely comfortable with it and she guessed it had something to do with his ex that they'd never actually mentioned, for obvious reasons. It wasn't that he didn't want to kiss her, she was fairly certain of that, since the few times they had it'd been amazing and he'd told her so. Still, it wasn't important right now, and in the end it would probably be better if they didn't get too physically involved. How difficult did she really want to make this on herself?

They sat down to eat, he asked how her day had been and as usual she was forced to lie about a waitressing career she did not have. He asked a lot of questions and she paused longer and longer between answers, the pain she felt each time she had to lie, the panic that he'd catch her out. She was feeling too much to be able to think straight as well, and it was the beginning of her downfall.

"So then my boss yelled at me" she said, telling a story that was in fact true but making it about waitressing instead of the police force, "and I was like 'get off my back, Finn, or swear to God I'll use this gun..."

"Gun?" Spike almost choked on his food as the word left her lips and her eyes went wide at the realisation of what she'd said. She simple hadn't been thinking, and now she had to explain why a waitress carried a gun at work?

"Er, it was a joke" she laughed awkwardly, "I, er, it wasn't a real gun it was a..." she reached for the wine bottle to pour another drink, hoping to steady her nerves with it as her brain went berserk inside her head. How had she made such a screw up?! She managed to pour some more wine in her glass but her fingers slipped as she moved to drink it and blood red liquid splashed down her top.

"Oh damn!" she exclaimed, secretly glad of the distraction though she hadn't done it on purpose. Spike seemed to forget what she'd just said as he grabbed a napkin from the perfectly laid table and stood up when she did, moving to help her clean her top. His hands in places they'd never been before did nothing for her concentration and when they both looked up at the same time, their eyes met and she knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him. Fighting against urges that would ultimately bring only pain, she took a step back, tears cascading down her face, borne out of guilt and the agony of having to resist what she so wanted. Looking for somewhere to run, she headed for the nearest door, closing it behind her. She realised she'd probably made the worse possible choice, when she turned from the closed door and found a bed, Spike's bed, right in front of her.

Wiping the tears from her face she tried to calm down before she headed back out to talk to him. As her hand reached for the door knob it seemed his had too as it opened of it's own accord and she saw him standing there.

"What's wrong?" he asked, almost nervously and Buffy so wished she could tell him. She shook her head knowing she couldn't, and just wanting so badly for the situation to be different, for them to be two innocent and ordinary people.

He moved to hug her and it only made her feel worse as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She knew how awkward he usually felt about closeness, it was a big deal for him to initiate it.

"There's so much I should tell you" she whispered, head resting against his chest "so much you don't know about me..." her voice wavered as she moved to look up at him too seriously "but all I can think about right now is how much I want to kiss you" she told him, sick and tired of games and rules and issues. She wanted him, she was almost certain he wanted her, for tonight she didn't want anything else to matter.

"Buffy..." he was going to say something she didn't want to hear, she just knew it, and she couldn't handle it right now.

"Sshh..." she silenced him, placing her fingers on his lips. Half of her brain screamed, in a voice not unlike her boss, that she was an idiot and that the job wasn't worth this, but it wasn't about the job anymore, or the mission, it was just about her. As she told herself that very thing, her mind went silent, surrendering control to her heart and her body.

Slowly she dropped her hand away from his face, replacing her fingers with her lips on his. So gentle and chaste like it wasn't even real. She pulled back after the briefest of moments and studied his face as she allowed herself to breathe. She looked for some kind of reaction, anything at all, but his features were a blank mask.

Then their eyes met, and she knew.

Her brain barely registered despite the fact she knew it was coming, and his hands went to her waist as his lips hit hers. Perhaps hit was the wrong word, she realised, for as much passion as there was in his kiss, he was careful with her, tender, gentle. His hands did not grab at her, but swept over her, smooth caresses that made her skin tingle as he pulled her close to him, there bodies fitting perfectly against each other. She felt him against her and knew he couldn't control what she was doing to him anymore than she could control herself.

Part of her knew she should stop this now, a rational voice in the back of her head that said she was crazy, but what he did to her was like nothing she'd ever felt before, and she never wanted him to stop exciting her like this. His fingers worked the clasp behind her neck, and the ties lower down, before sliding the material from her body. It was like fire and ice when he touched her skin and her eyes fell closed as he lowered her back onto his bed.

'He could be a murderer' her mind taunted her, refusing to leave her be, as she felt his hands slide lower. Those hands could have held the gun that killed an innocent woman, she realised as his fingers roamed her body, began unfastening her skirt, tossing aside both that and his own shirt and jeans. She wanted to help but found herself incapable, just wanted to be selfish for a while and let him take her where she so desperately wanted to go.

His lips made trails of icy fire around her neck, down the side of her throat...he might have yelled with those lips, deadly threats and dirty curses, but now his whispered words were tender, his caresses loving and gentle, as all at once he made her feel so precious and alive.

A voice sang in dark and vulgar tones just how bad and wrong this was but the most part of her was helpless against him and the power he had over her. He looked into her eyes, a silent question, answered with just a look and a searing kiss.

She trusted him, realised right there and then as they moved together, that she loved him completely, just at that moment when it truly happened and he claimed her as his own. She knew then as the natural bliss flowed through her whole form and his eyes bored into her own, that she was his, and that she'd never want to be anything else for as long as she lived.

- - - - - -

He hadn't meant for this to happen and despite his reputation, his motives had been completely honourable when he'd invited her here for dinner. To eat and to talk, nothing more complicated or sinister than that, but when she'd started inexplicably crying, it almost broke his heart. All he wanted to do was hold her and tell her that whatever the problem was it would be okay. She hadn't let him. She'd moved away from him so fast that he began to wonder, did she know more than he'd told her. He guessed he was wrong when she'd made for the door to the next room rather than the exit. He'd given her a moment before he'd followed her. He'd needed that time to comprehend that this beautiful woman that he so strangely cared about was crying and that she was in his bedroom.

She'd rambled something that he didn't understand and then, she'd just kissed him and that was all it took. One kiss and she had him totally lost and never to be found again. He had to have her close to him, wanted and needed her body as near to his as possible. She made him feel things he didn't know he ever could, not just physically though that was a large part of it right now in that moment, but on so many levels, she just made him feel so free and alive. Inside of him was so dark, his heart so black and dead, she'd changed all that and he wanted her to know it, wanted her to understand how much he wanted her, needed her, loved her. He'd never dared to try to tell her, nevermind show her, but when she kissed him right then, there was nothing he could do but go with what he felt.

His hands reached for the fastenings of her clothes, and she seemed willing enough to just let it all happen. They were lying together on his bed before he'd even realised what he was doing and for the briefest second he wondered if she knew what was really happening, if she was as willing to do this as she seemed.

One look in her eyes was enough to tell him the answer, the love coupled with the desire and the need, that he had no doubt shone from his own eyes too. It petrified him, more than anything ever had before, but at the same time it was an exquisite feeling and he wanted more of it.

'Would she let you do this if she knew?' a cruel voice taunted, 'If she knew what happened to the last girl that shared your bed? That other innocent girl you claimed to love?' he heard inside his mind as his hands slid further down her body and both his and her clothing slipped away. He pushed the vulgar thoughts to one side, concentrated solely on her, and at that moment they were the only two people in the world.

In moments, they moved as one, and he had never felt so right in all his days. He belonged with this woman in every way that it was possible for a person to belong to another, there was not a doubt left in his mind about that. As they reached the point of ecstasy together, he knew she was now his, but more than that, that he was hers alone.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Okay so there's the proof that I don't write the sex so well, lol. Usually in my fics, they kiss, they grope, they stumble into the bedroom and then you have to sue your imaginantion. I thiught this needed a little more than that so it got more, but I'm not so sure it works. I'm a little uncormfotbale with the totally in-depth sex writeage, so I just ahve to hope that you're happy with this instead. I guess I'll find out if you liked it when you all vreiew subtle hint ;-)