A/N : Well, I am so relieved to know that the least chapter didn't suck! The writing of the sex was bothering me, but it seems it wasn't half so dire as I thought. Thanx to everyone who reviewed; Amandamanda3, Mariana, Higgy's Red, Onion Petal, spikeswife1, Xtremely-Canadian, wicked-angel3. See what you think to this new chapter...
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)



Chapter 9

For the briefest of moments when Buffy awoke she couldn't quite figure out where she was, then the night before came rushing back like the tide. She felt the weirdest combination of dread and contentment as she turned over and came face to elbow with Spike who was laying beside her, his head propped up on his hand. He smiled when he saw she was awake.

"Hi" she said shyly, ducking her face behind her hair.

"Hey" he replied, as his fingers pushed her hair out of her face, brushing along her skin. She looked up and smiled slightly, kissing his fingertips as they passed her lips. He retracted his hand too fast for her liking. Though she knew this whole thing should be viewed as a horrible mistake, last night had been the most exquisite of her entire life and she wouldn't trade that for the world.

"You been awake long?" she asked as he looked away.

"Couldn't sleep" came his soft reply as he studied an invisible spot on the duvet, "Buffy" he said too suddenly as his eyes snapped up to look into hers "I need you to know that I never planned for...that to happen" he said awkwardly, and Buffy felt tears come to her eyes "I swear when I invited you here it was for dinner, I didn't..."

"I get it" she said sharply, turning her back to him as hot tears cascaded down her cheeks. How could he be saying this to her? That he never meant to sleep with her? That he never even wanted to? Despite the fact she knew she was lying about so much, she hated to think he would lie about his feelings, the one thing that she herself had been honest about if nothing else.

She felt his hand on her arm and then his lips brushed against her shoulder. The simple touch made her whole body tingle as he leant over her and whispered in her ear.

"That doesn't mean I regret it, sweetheart" he assured her, and she felt his words more than she heard them, his warm breath against her neck "Last night was, I can't even tell you how special it was" he promised and Buffy turned slightly to look at him.

"For me too" she nodded gently before they kissed.

Though a part of her would have been quite happy to repeat last nights performance, a neon sign was flashing in her head, telling her she should have been at work half an hour ago. That only served to remind her of what she was doing and who she was doing it with, and of course why she shouldn't be doing it at all.

She pulled away from him, hating the look in his eyes when she did so. Though she was sure he had no idea why she was really backing off, Buffy was certain she'd offended him by doing so.

"I should probably go" she said awkwardly, suddenly feeling almost embarrassed about the fact she was naked beneath the duvet that barely covered them both.

"S'pose you should" he nodded once, the expression on his face unreadable as he pushed back the covers and swung his legs out of the bed.

"I'll put some coffee on whilst you get dressed" he told her as he found his jeans, pulled them on and headed out the door in silence.

- - - - - - -

'What have I done?' was the first thing Spike had thought when he'd woken up. After promising himself every day for months that he'd never give himself so easily again, here he was sharing his bed with a woman he had truly made love to the night before. He'd had sex with more women than he cared to count but last night had been different, too intense and beautiful to be anything but an inducement of the purest love. He had been so sure that Drusilla was the only woman he could feel these emotions for, but now here was Buffy...

Spike had hardly slept at all, though she had fallen asleep in his arms within minutes and stayed in the land of dreams for several hours. He had watched over her for most of the night, thinking about all that had happened in his life and all that may yet be to come. When she'd woken up and looked at him with those big, innocent eyes he'd felt so guilty. He'd dragged her into his world now, by selfishly falling in love with her. How could any good come out of this situation, as history began to repeat itself. Spike knew the words he'd carefully planned had come out horribly wrong when she turned away from him and cried, useless buckets of salt for him, a man not worthy to kiss the ground she walked upon.

Though he was certain he'd convinced her of his true meaning eventually, she had pulled away from him too fast when they kissed. He was in two minds as to whether this was a good or bad thing as he pulled on his jeans and left the bedroom, planning to make coffee whilst she found her clothes and got dressed. Physically, he wanted her so badly it was painful to leave her in that bed alone, indeed emotionally the strain was almost just as bad, but knowing how much he could hurt her had made him at least try to keep some distance between them. He'd been doing so well until last night.

Now he must face the fact that they have been as close as is humanly possible for two beings, and there was no turning back from that. He was free falling down the side of a cliff and he'd pulled her down with him, and whilst the flight was thrilling there were no parachutes or safety nets. No fluffy pillows to cushion their landing, and make it all happy ever after.

When he admitted to his past as he knew one day he must, she would leave him, and he would be alone again as he had been before. If she really knew him, she'd never have gotten so close, and it was now no longer a case of hurting her or not, but simply to what degree of pain she would be inflicted when he finally confessed.

Spike sighed as he pushed his hair back off his face and put two mugs of coffee on the table. He walked back to the bedroom and cautiously opened the door.

"What are you doing with that?" he forced out words around his heart that pounded in his throat as he found Buffy by the cabinet with a photograph in her hands. There was only one picture that resided in the drawer she had currently got open, and that was one he never wanted her to see.

"I..I was looking for a T-shirt or something" she told him looking decidedly panicked "Mine kinda got stained" she reminded him, still gripping the silver-framed photograph and he strode over to her, ripping it away.

"Try the closet" he snapped too harshly, and he knew he'd done it, though he made no moves to apologise. He felt sick as he glanced down at the picture and up at Buffy. From one girl, dark and fragile, to the other, fair and strong. How different they were and yet how much he worshipped them both. Still they were of two different worlds of time, and their names should never even be mentioned in the same breath, for fear of imploding both past and present.

"She's beautiful" Buffy said softly, and he hated to see how frightened he seemed to have made her.

"Yes...she was" he replied at length, concentrating on the picture in his hand instead of the actual woman that stood just two feet away. He ran a finger down Drusilla's image and fought too many powerful emotions that raged within his heart.

"Who was she?" the blonde beside him asked tentatively and he couldn't take it anymore. He pushed the picture back in the drawer, amongst a hundred other thing she didn't want to see, slamming it shut so hard that the whole dresser shuddered and Buffy physically jumped.

"Doesn't matter now" he shook his head, staring straight ahead at a non-existent spot on the wall. He concentrated on being calm, on how much he knew he loved Buffy. He didn't want to hurt her of that he was certain. With a deep breath he turned back to look at her, managing a half smile. He took a step towards her and worried slightly when she looked wary. He reached out a hand to her face and pushed her hair back behind her ear before turning and leaving the room without a word.

- - - - - - -

Buffy hated the fact that as soon as Spike left the bedroom, thoughts of finding clues filled her mind. Her police training over-ran just about every other thing she would usually think and feel. The only thing it was not stronger than was her feelings for Spike that ran so deep she was practically drowning at every turn.

With a glance towards the door in case he came back she hopped out of bed and pulled on her underwear and her skirt. Her top was wine-stained, she remembered, as she picked up the item from the floor. Despite last night, thoughts of walking out of the room with just her bra covering the top half of her body made her uncomfortable and she walked over to the cabinet by the wall. A cautious hand had reached for the handle of the top drawer, another nervous glance towards the door before she pulled it open.

Underneath some other far less interesting items, her attention was taken by a silver frame with a picture inside of a girl she recognised. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of a victim, a murdered innocent by the name of Drusilla Walker.

"What are you doing with that?" the coldness in Spike's voice from the door made her physically shiver, as the surprise of him being there almost caused the photograph to slip from her fingers.

She turned to make an excuse and he stalked over to her, such an icy look on his face that Buffy was actually afraid of him for a moment. Though the slight underlying fear she always felt around him was exciting, the way he looked at her now, the fact she held half his secrets in her hands, if Buffy were less of a person she would have cried like a baby.

The picture was ripped from her hands as he roughly told her that T-shirts were in the closet. His tone said in no uncertain terms that he did not like people going through his personal things, not even her who seemed to mean so much to him last night.

"She's beautiful" she'd dared to say, glancing between Spike's face and that of his dead girlfriend. He looked so pained as his blue eyes never left the picture in his hands, and he agreed in soft words that Buffy almost didn't hear.

There was never going to be another opportunity like this, not for the case or for her, she realised as she asked the ultimate question;

"Who was she?"

His reaction was too violent for her to ever consider asking such a thing again as the picture was shoved back in the drawer and it was closed so hard the force felt as if it should rock the entire room. Buffy physically jumped, though she'd tried not to let her fear show. His eyes seemed to soften when he looked over at her, she presumed because he knew she was afraid.

Still as he walked towards her she couldn't help but flinch away slightly. In a state of semi-undress and with him between her and the door, Buffy felt more vulnerable than she'd like to. After last night, when she'd put so much trust in him, now she was wary of his fingers reaching out to her face. She sighed gently as he half-smiled at her and tucked loose strands of hair behind her ear.

As he slammed back out of the room, Buffy let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding and checked the clock by the bed. Her heart hammered in her chest as she realised she should have been at work almost an hour ago and that she'd come so close to getting the confession her bosses wanted to hear. The problem was, this morning's performance only showed Spike had something to hide, and it had to do with Drusilla. How was Buffy supposed to face the fact that he really could be a killer?

- - - - - - -

"Summers!" Riley Finn's voice rang out as soon as Buffy got a foot in the door "You were supposed to be here two hours ago" he reminded her as she pushed her hair out of her face and breathed heavily from the exertion of hurrying.

"Get off my case, Finn" she complained loudly, no respect at all for his authority at the moment.

Buff had made excuses and left Spike's apartment as quick as she could, rushing home to change her clothes, fix her hair, and grab her notes, before bolting to the station.

"I had a rough night" she said as explanation, Riley leaning over her as she sat down heavily at the desk and spilled half the contents of her purse on the floor.

"Conference Room 2" Riley said uncaringly "Five minutes. You better have something good" he added before walking away.

Buffy put her elbows on the desk and rested her head in her hands.

'How the hell did I get into this mess?' she asked herself as she caught sight of her reflection in the blank screen of the computer monitor. Her mind raced through a million scenes, mixtures of memories, lies, deceptions, and daydreams. She had to get her story straight in her head before she faced Finn. There was only so much information she was willing to share and there was a huge chunk of last night and this morning with Spike that just was not the kind of thing she could tell all about.

With a deep breath she got out her compact, fixed her hair to a modest extent and re-applied her lipstick. For someone who'd got very little sleep last night and was under more stress than one human being should be able to cope with, she didn't look bad.

With a determined look, she stood up from the desk and walked towards the Conference room, a file folder clutched to her chest. Another deep breath as her hand reached for the door knob and she entered with a semi-fake pissed off expression and a yell of annoyance.

"Okay Finn, what the hell do you...?"

"Elizabeth Summers" her full given name caught her off guard as did the voice that interrupted her.

"Angel" she gasped slightly as her eyes settled on the man seated at the table "er, Chief Inspector O'Connor" she amended with a shake of her head "I didn't know you were in this meeting" she said as casually as she could, closing the door behind her as she gestured for her to do just that.

"If you were here on time I might have told you" Riley ground out, but both Buffy and Angel knew he was more peeved by their previous almost-relationship than he was about her tardiness.

"Thankyou, Finn" Angel rolled his eyes at the younger man, gesturing for Buffy to sit down opposite him, "Summers, I hope I don't have to remind you of the seriousness of this case" he said, as Riley hovered beside them, making Buffy even more nervous than she already was.

"Of course not, sir" she said, swallowing hard and hoping they didn't notice.

"We're talking about murder" Angel reminded her none too gently "a man so evil that he shot his own girlfriend at point blank range and left her in a pool of her own blood for some other innocent person to find"

"I know the story" she said calmly, desperate to keep her breathing even and her expression neutral. Right now she was sure one more conflicting emotion would cause her to burst at the seams. At the same time she was imagining ripping Angel's head clean off his shoulders, if he dared to say one more word against her lover.

"It's no story, Summers, this is fact" her boss told her, looking a little agitated as he stood up and leant across the table at her "or as close as it gets without an actual confession. Are you any closer to getting that?"

"I..." her voice wavered but after swallowing hard she managed to continue "I'm getting closer" she told him, cursing internally at the terrible double entendre!

"Problem is" Angel sighed, sitting back down heavily "it seems you're not getting close enough or as fast as we would've liked" he shared a look with Riley and continued "As much as I admire your efforts Lizzy, the closer you get the more dangerous it becomes"

"But I can deal" Buffy said sharply, hands banging on the table "I just..." her sentence died on her lips as Riley placed an item in front of her, "What's this?" she said in a dangerously low voice, casting her eyes up at him.

"It's a wire, Summers" he told her, like she were an idiot child "Standard issue for secret surveillance"

"I know that, Finn" she said through gritted teeth, "Why are you showing it to me?"

"Summers" his tone was as menacing as her own, but he didn't scare her one bit "we're seriously considering getting this confession another way..."

"By sending me in wired?" she interrupted incredulously, her voice rising a couple of decibels. Did they really think this little of her abilities?

"Exactly" it was Angel who answered her and Buffy's eyes shifted back to him as he continued "You can get the information we need, push a little more than you'd normally dare. We can have the place surrounded, come get you out of there safely as soon as Blood says what we need him to"

Buffy felt sick to the point of screaming when she realised all the implications of what they were asking, no telling her to do. They'd hear every word she and Spike said, know immediately what was going on between them, and if he admitted to anything, said one thing that even sounded remotely like a confession, that would be the end. It wouldn't matter if it were real or not.

"With respect, sir" Buffy said as calmly as she could "I don't think it's a good idea"

"With respect, Summers" Angel mimicked her words, smiling almost evilly as he leaned across the desk towards her "I'm not giving you a choice"

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Well, what do you think to all that? Review please, and let me know :-)