A/N : Thanx to; Moonjava, sheilamarie, pixiecorn, AnononA, Kez, kim, Xtremely-Canadian, Quietly Losing Control, Mistik07, GoldenAngl99, Demonica Mills, Amandamanda3, Draossweetlove, xmadbrilliant, Celestia Nailo. Your kind words and support really do help me to keep on writing this fic which is probably the least easy for me. My reviewers rock, and thats official :-)
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 19

"I was right the first time" Spike said with a shake of his head, "I can't do this" he told Buffy, turning to walk away but she wouldn't let him. Her hand held on tightly to his and would not let go.

"Spike, I know this is hard for you" she said, looking him right in the eye, "but you know it's the only way" He looked away from her gaze, knowing she was right and hating it.

Three days ago she'd told him that the lead they'd had for bringing down Angel was a dead end, and that the new plan was for him to take her back to where he used to work, to see his old bosses Willow and Tara. They needed to find the girl named Amy who had come into the club the night of Drusilla's murder. The girl whose bed Spike had ended up in.

Whilst he still believed he had cheated on his lover, Buffy was almost certain there was foul play involved. It didn't seem plausible that Spike would sleep with this girl and coincidentally on the same night that Dru died. But they were not here to prove whether he was or was not conscious when he ended up in Amy's bed. The point of this exercise was to track the woman down and have her admit to being with Spike that night, the how and the why were unimportant. If he had an alibi, Spike could not be proved guilty of murder, though Buffy was seriously wondering if this would work now. It was doubtful Amy would prove to be a credible-looking source of information, but they were running out of options. Plus there was always the possibility that a member of staff at the club saw something suspiscious and might come forward. Buffy knew she was clutching at straws but what else was left to do? She had to save Spike, she just had to. She loved him too much now to let him down.

"Just breathe" she told herself as well as Spike as she gripped his hand in hers.

'Easier said than done' he was thinking as they went up to the door and walked inside. It was all eerily familiar as he stood looking at the place he'd worked in what seemed like a life time ago. His eyes passed the stools by the bar and his mind's eye put himself and Amy there, drinking and laughing like they had that fateful night. He looked away in disgust, hating himself so much right now. The only thing stopping him running away like a coward was the almost vice-like grip Buffy had on his hand.

"Spike?" a kindly voice asked behind them and he couldn't breathe as he turned around and faced Willow.

"Hello, luv" he forced out, shocked when she came at him and hugged him tight. Though he felt so undeserving of her warmth and affection, he let her hold him for a moment. Buffy guessed this was one of the women who'd helped Spike so much when he'd first moved to Sunnydale with Drusilla.

"Where have you been? Tara and me, we were going crazy worrying and then there was a girl on the news and she'd committed suicide and..." she rambled on, feeling guilty when Spike couldn't look at her anymore.

"Er, Willow?" Buffy checked, glad when the older woman nodded in response, "My name is Buffy Summers" she told her, leaving out any reference to the police on purpose, "Is there some place we could talk, with your partner too if that's okay"

"Oh, of course" Willow nodded hurrying to fetch Tara from the back.

"See" Buffy whispered as they followed on behind, "She was worried about you. She doesn't think you did anything wrong"

"She was always too nice for her own good" Spike said sadly, "They both were"

Tara was much like Willow, Buffy realised, not so much in looks but character. They both cared for Spike a lot, despite only having known him a little while. His disappearance had them more worried than angry and to be honest Buffy was having a hard time seeing how either of them could ever be angry at all. They seemed so sweet and she wished Spike would reconsider and tell them why they'd really gone to see them, but he refused and she daren't push him on it.

"Xander, you're in charge until we get back" Willow told a young man cleaning glasses behind the bar. He nodded as he watched them disappear into the backroom, wondering how come Spike was back all of a sudden. He never liked the guy much.

"So, where have you been?" Tara asked him, "A-and how have you been?" she smiled at the man she hadn't seen in months and never with any explanation as to where he'd gone.

"I...Drusilla, she..." he couldn't find words to tell them until he felt Buffy's hand cover his on the table. She gave him strength he couldn't begin to understand, "They found her in our apartment, and I couldn't...I had to get away" he said a little shakily. Of course he didn't have to use the word 'dead' because they were already wondering if the suicide they'd heard about on the news was her.

"Oh, sweetie, we're so sorry" Willow told him, knowing she would have reached across the table to him, if his hand were not already firmly in Buffy's grasp.

"We came here because...there was a girl here the night it happened" the blonde explained awkwardly, "She was talking to Spike and we need to find her"

"Oh, yes, the blonde girl?" Tara checked, remembering her only too well. She and Willow had talked about it when they'd seen the woman with Spike. She looked untrustworthy, they'd noted, and they weren't happy when the pair left together, but what could they do? Spike was a grown man after all, able of making his own decisions.

"She's been here twice since we last saw you" Willow told Spike, "She wasn't making much sense, she was...on something, I think" she said with distaste.

"You think she took drugs?" Buffy verified, launching into semi-police mode.

The two women nodded.

"Sh-She didn't make a lot of sense" Tara told them, "The first time she came in, we had Xander throw her straight out when she tried to..proposition some of the customers"

"The second time was just last week" Willow continued, "She was saying the weirdest things, about fairies, or maybe it was angels"

Spike's eyes went wide at that and Buffy was similarly stunned. Of course the ramblings of a drugged-up young woman of questionable reputation didn't mean much but anything was something right now.

"Do you have any idea where we'd find this girl now?" Buffy asked them, knowing it was unlikely she'd still be in the same apartment she'd taken Spike to all those months ago.

"I'm not sure that she has a home" Tara said sadly and Buffy nodded in understanding, "but, if she does, I don't think it would be far away...Can I ask why you need to find her?" she said carefully and Spike stared down at the table as he forced out wards to answer her.

"Need her to say I wasn't there" he mumbled, "When Drusilla...the only one who can say I weren't there is Amy"

"Oh" Willow gasped in sudden understanding, before the room fell silent again, no-one really knowing what to say.

"I need a fag" Spike muttered a moment later, the chair scraping on the floor sounding overly loud in the quiet surroundings. He was out of the door before they could blink and Buffy was in two minds whether to run after him or not.

"He didn't want you to know" she told the two women, eyes fixed on his disappearing back, the door left ajar as he'd swung through it.

"But you do" Willow said a little suspiciously, "Know, I mean. It must've taken a lot for him to tell you something like that"

"It's complicated" Buffy admitted, sighing when she realised she'd said too much to keep the rest a secret, "I'm a police officer, LAPD" she told them showing her badge to the women who shared a worried look, "I was...Spike was my undercover mission. I was supposed to, well, charm him I guess, and get a confession"

"A-about Amy?" Tara asked, confused.

"No, about Drusilla" the blonde told them, "He's suspected of her murder, and before you say he didn't do it, I know that..." she sighed "It's a long and complicated story but it comes down to the fact that...that I fell in love with Spike and he fell for me too. We love each other, genuinely, and somebody's setting him up...I'm trying to be all professional police woman about this and...and I'm just petrified of losing him" she cried, tears running down her cheeks that she hastily wiped away. She didn't cry, not ever, and yet since she'd fallen in love with Spike she seemed to shed so many tears. She didn't care, it wasn't his fault and when all this was over she'd do her level best to make sure they had nothing but smiles and laughter in their lives. They just had to get through this first.

"I wish we could help you" Willow told her, feeling just terrible for both Spike and Buffy by now, "But we just don't know where this Amy girl is"

"I do" said a voice from the door and all three women looked over to see Xander in the doorway.


This wasn't how it was supposed to be, Spike thought as he stood outside the club, smoking his third cigarette. It was a filthy habit, Mum always said so, and Dru after her, not to mention Willow and Tara, but wasn't it always true that the things you enjoy most are the worst for you. Pleasure and pain walked hand in hand, he knew that to be oh so true. Drusilla was the best thing he'd ever had in his life, and yet his world was torn to shreds by her existence within it. Now here was Buffy, a light in his darkness, his reason to be, and yet she could so easily have been his downfall.

"Y'know you really should give those up" said her voice behind him and he smiled stupidly to think she fell into the pattern he'd thought of just moments before.

"Not the first to say it, luv" he said as he crushed the remains of the offending article beneath his boot, "Doubt you'll be the last either"

She moved to hug him, for no other reason than she just felt compelled to. He still tensed every time she touched him, but he relaxed a lot faster than he used to. Even when all this was over, if they could prove his innocence and get Angel sent down, it was going to take a long time to build complete and utter trust between them, but she couldn't blame him for that.

"We got a lead" she said, pulling out of his arms and handing him a piece of paper with an address scrawled on it, "A friend of Xander's got in with a bad crowd. He walked her home one night when she was in a mess. Guess who her room mate was?"

"Amy?" Spike asked, a little stunned by the turn of events.

"Name and description fit" Buffy nodded, "All we have to do now is go and see"

He glanced at the paper in his hands, up at her face, and then beyond her at the building they stood outside of.

"'S funny" he said dreamily, "Bein' back here...almost like it never happened"

It broke Buffy's heart to look at him, wishing the clock would go back in time, to a place where he was happy with a woman he loved and he'd never met her. She wanted things to be better for him, truly she did, but she didn't want to be without him. After all that had happened and what was still to come, she just couldn't imagine her life without him by her side.

"Oh, pet" he sighed as he looked down at her and saw tears glistening in her eyes, "I didn't mean..."

"I know" she nodded, forcing a smile, "Things should've been different for both us"

He looked at her for a moment, before taking a step forward, leaning down and kissing her softly on the lips. She was hardly aware her eyes had closed until she found she needed to open them again. He hardly ever initiated any contact between them. Buffy sometimes thought he was afraid of rejection if he did, though the idea of her ever not wanting him was ridiculous.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me, do you?" he realised with a slight frown, "Buffy, sweetheart, if only there were words to explain..." he shook his head, frustrated that he couldn't find those words he spoke of.

"Spike, I don't need words" she told him, "I know that you love me and you trust me"

"I do" he nodded in agreement, as she forced a slight smile.

"Then let's go find this girl" she said, sniffing and pulling herself away from him, putting on a brave face as she must.

She had a job to do, fighting for truth and justice. It was her duty, and not just because she had the title and the badge to prove her occupation. It was her duty to her man, the obligation of a woman in love.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Keep those reviews coming and I'll keep the fic coming as quick as I can. As you can probably tell we're slowly headed towards an end on this story, but it's gonna take a while for me to get there since I'm writing another three fics at the same time! Still, reviews are of the good and I'll do my best to update asap.