A/N: I just had to write this! If you know me then you should know it was killing me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.
Everything had gone hot-so hot. My breath caught in my throat making it come out as an erratic gasp, only to be drowned out against the rustle of sheets. A wash of pleasure laced with pain washed over me making my vision haze and my mind dizzy. I began to sway unsteadly as the ground shifted beneath me. My mind cleared leaving me to discover that I was the one trembling and not the ground.
With outstretched arms I began to grope the air about me searching desperately, frantically, for something to anchor me.Something to show me that this wasn't just another dream, but that this was real. I stopped, feeling a warm hand brush against my upper arm, trailing down to my hand. Another hand tracing the contour of my lips caressing them softly, slowly replaced by the brush of lips upon mine. The whisper of a kiss had relieved me and I found my breath beginning to steady. Although my vision had gone red, I found myself trying to make out the shadowy sillhoutte of a figure beside me.
"Eiri." It took me a moment to realize that it was my voice that had called him. My choked whisper sounded nothing like my own voice, I barely even recognized it.
Using my hands to see opposed to my faulty eyes, I allowed them to explore his body. Moments passed that seemed more dazed than my sight and our passion settled. Eiri-kun had nestled himself against me and I made a point to wrap him securingly into my arms. Our breathing slowed to a rythmic pattern that was perfectly intune with one another.
My lids raised lazilyas my eye sight gradually began to focus.My first suprise was that I was not met by the golden locks I remember and when I leaned into them it wasn't the same scent. Violet eyes peered up at me from beneath my arms withsemi-satisfied stirring in them. I could clearly read the look plastered on his face and knew that he had heard me call him Eiri, aslo that he didn't mind.
My first and only reaction was to gaze down in pity to the man who was obviously straved for my attention. His eyes looked accused and in guilt, like a child that had just broken something valuable. Poor Ryuichi, it wasn't as if he had broken something...he had just failed to piece it back together again.
My fingers found their way into his sweat matted hair and stroked their way through, it was thethe only comfort I could offer. He closed his eyes and leaned into me to express his pleasure.
He cared about me enough to ignore the fact that I was pretending he was another lover and I didn't care about him enough that I had let it continue. It was a vicious, tangled web we had weaved and I had found myself unable to distinguish who was the spider and who was the fly. What had become of us was too sick for words.
Ryuichi had been pursuing me for years in search of this moment. He seemed so content, despite the fact that I didn't love him. A familiar tune stirred from his throat and I knew immediately that he was humming, as he oftened did. It was a familiar ballad, yet another infamous Nittle Grasper song. His eyes shined up at me as if to say ' I'm singing this for you'. Gradually the echo of a sound turned into words, sweet and delicate, a song for lovers. A song he should never sing to me.
I removedmy hand from his damp tresses once he was asleep andI noticed that his thumb had somehow found entrance to his mouth. A smile unwillingly crept upon me as the corners of my lips thinned. Ryuichi'sinnocence had always been an enigma to me, because behind that exterior protected by lollypops and Kumagoro was a truth and understanding only his heart could know.
"Tohma..." he cooed unconciously.
Our relationship had developed into a twisted cycle that would undoubtly continue until one of us broke and the innocentwere always the first to go. Running the back of my hand smoothly across his cheek I discovered myself wanting to protect the man beneathe me. But could I ever truly love him? Could his childish heart survive the trials and tribulation our relationship would surely endure?
