AI NO JUTSU

By miku


STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY

WARNING: Shounen-ai/ Yaoi.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry for the very very slow update My PC had a "tantrum" within the past weeks and well… I have to let him (my PC, Foxdevil) rest. And now I think he's back to normal. Also, I reformatted the wrong drive of the PC (so careless of me, na?) and so all my personal files were gone including the "supposed-to-be" Chapter 2 for AI NO JUTSU.

Thank you for all the reviews. I greatly appreciate them. Again, please do tell me what you think (about my writing, about the story, etc) so that I may improve. Thanks again.


AI NO JUTSU

By miku

Chapter Two:

"The world will not help you forget what happened. In every corner, in every smell, in every touch, in every voice, the past does linger. It's the way life conserves memories. Like how matter is conserved according to science. The only way to kill the past is to kill the present and end up with nothing."

The night sky was clear but later, he knew, the stars would be in a mess, exploding now and then, falling or shooting up, and in the end they were still the same. It's not like he hated fireworks but, sometimes, he wished that there were only real stars up there especially when his mind was in chaos. He finished the last puff of his cigarette, dropped it in the moist ground beneath him and squashed it along with decaying grasses with his rubber-soled sandals before pulling up his mask just in time he heard a door closed and felt Iruka's presence.

"Sasuke has returned, you know," Iruka informed him but Kakashi already knew. The Fifth already told him that afternoon, after he recounted the events of their recent mission. Kakashi nodded.

"They're at the hill, waiting for the fireworks to start. I just thought maybe you want to see your student?"

The silver-haired jounin inwardly smirked at the thought of Sasuke waiting for "fireworks". He knew him fairly well. They were almost the same in many things like the sharingan, the chidori, even on some insignificant details like their skin. And one wouldn't find Sasuke sitting or lying in the grass waiting for fireworks to start. Just like him. But it was believable especially with Naruto around. His invisible smirk suddenly faded completely. And then he heard Iruka heaved a deep sigh before returning inside the Academy's building.

He should go and see him anyhow, he finally decided. And he was immediately gone as soon as he stood up, leaving a faint scent of smoke in the air.

"I could still see it from this spot," Sasuke thought as he rested his back on the tree trunk, his arms folded under his head served as cushions. He then laid his right leg completely on the moistened ground and slightly shivered upon contact with its coldness. It was warmer there, he thought, glancing at the place where his comrades were killing time by busily chatting with one another; Neji and Shino were the most silent but they would still at times speak a line or two and Naruto was the most cheerful as already expected. However, he knew that he should not linger with their warmth for he was cold and it would only break him apart. Like glasses. Like porcelains. It's dangerous.

"Yo!" he heard somebody shouted and he mechanically envisioned a silver-haired jounin raising his hand with palm open, and eyes closed in a happy smile. An excuse would follow but nobody would believe. And then he'd just proceed like nothing happened. Knowing too well to whom the voice and the greeting belonged, he did not dare to look.

He heard his former teammates greeting in return their sensei, Sakura with her usual cheerful modesty and Naruto with but a rather milder tone. Sasuke instantly wondered and he checked the blonde shinobi and found him barely wearing an expression. It was weird, Sasuke thought. If it were not a goofy grin or a stubborn frown, it could be anything but blank. But his curiosity instantly faded upon sensing his former sensei's eyes on him. He quickly turned his eyes away from Naruto and stared impassively at the sky, uncharacteristically demanding for the fireworks to start.

And wish granted, the first one rocketed to the sky and then exploded in a colorful flower. People cheered – his comrades too. And as more fireworks exploded in the heaven, people's voices began to invade his eardrums more. He suddenly wanted it to stop and questioned himself again and again why he went with them in the first place. Definitely not the fireworks. Maybe because of Naruto's persistence. Or maybe because he had nothing else to do that night. Or maybe something more or maybe something less. But he cursed himself for coming anyway.

"Yo," he heard the voice again and this time it was much nearer. It was actually just beside him. And despite the heat offered by the man's bodily presence, Sasuke felt colder and involuntarily shivered. And it did not go unnoticeable in Kakashi's eyes. The latter winced but still acted cool anyway. "Cold?" he asked, "Then why not join your friends there?"

"They're noisy."

"Are you trying to prove to me that you haven't changed, Sasuke-kun?" The man asked, still smiling.

"Some things don't change that easily," Sasuke answered and immediately regretted his response. It was almost provoking, at least to him. And it was almost painful because, truly, some things don't change that easily. And the past began invading his mind again. The same cold night. The sunset. The silhouette of the man who uttered that word. Sorry, sorry… the word continuously resonated in his mind and he suddenly wanted to shut his eyes close and perhaps leave the place and go somewhere else – anywhere but this place, anywhere without his sensei's presence.

"I guess so," Kakashi agreed, noticing the chaos Sasuke's face was unable to conceal. "Anyway, welcome back, Sasuke-kun," he said before suddenly being gone. Just like that night, Sasuke thought, and could not help but accuse the older man for being a coward.

"Sasuke," Naruto called and Sasuke glanced up to see his friend standing on the same spot Kakashi occupied. "It's no fun staying here."

Sasuke did not respond.

"Well, okay then. So I'll just join you here."

Still, he did not respond. But he did not drive Naruto away when the latter sat beside him on the grass and watched the fireworks with him.

"I don't love Sakura," Naruto said which surprised the young Uchiha. "I don't love her, okay? And she's got a boyfriend."

"Yeah right," was Sasuke's only reply but he understood. The two of them were reliving that night again and how he wished he could just escape from the memory. The death of his clan was too much to bear but it was a much better problem because he knew how to cope up – may it be a selfish wicked way. But this one was not even worth occupying his mind. And yet he's too caught up by it.

"So he was there this afternoon?"

"Yes, Hokage-same," replied the shinobi.

"And he was lurking around the north yesterday. I wonder what he's doing. Go back to your post and double your caution," Tsunade said and the shinobi bowed and vanished. It was not something too dangerous but it was something queer. And although Sasuke could be a great asset to Konoha, that meant he could be a good asset to anywhere. And Orochimaru had him on his neck. She called Shizune and asked her to look for Kakashi.

She knew that something happened between the two, Kakashi and Sasuke. Kakashi's face, although masked, although seemingly aloof, revealed it all to her - the way his body tensed and his charka slightly burst upon receiving the news, the way his eyes danced in many contrasting emotions. And because of that, there was no certainty of any plans to end up the way she wanted. It was the reason why emotions were forbidden. But as the saying goes, what's forbidden is good. And in Kakashi and Sasuke's case, there were many at stake. However, she trusted Kakashi would do just fine unless the situation really called for it – a change of heart.

Finally, it was over – the feigned smiles, the forced lines. It was over at least for the time being. He recalled the events of that day, probably as a custom of a shinobi, recall and analyze, find significant points and study how it could affect your mission. He had a mission, alright. So he recalled the events of that day, calmly, discreetly, his steps unaffected. Aside from wandering around Konoha and gathering some information regarding sentries' position, he also found details of completed and upcoming missions from the Hokage's room. He learned that his sensei just came from a mission – a class B mission in collaboration with the Sand. The fire and wind country had been working very close lately, he thought. It would prove to be a hassle just in case. Those were the only data he gathered that day. He wasted too much time hanging around his past comrades, he thought, glancing beside Naruto who was cheerfully walking in sync with him.

"Hm? What is it Sasuke?" Naruto asked upon sensing his friend's gaze on him. Sasuke only rolled his eyes in response.

Naruto asked to walk him home. He refused but Naruto never knew what a "No" meant. No. Shut up. Leave me alone. Mind your own business. Naruto seemed to have his own definition for such lines. But it was alright, he thought. Naruto was too dumb to realize that he did something more than returning.

He continued recalling what happened that day. He faced the Hokage and made it pretty well past her. He knew Tsunade doubted him; after all, she was smart. She would not be a very good medical ninja without having a good brain. But it did not matter; her doubt would not cause him any trouble aside from being spied every minute. In the end, he only needed to leave Konoha and it was just as easy as entering. He was only required to bring information anyway.

He continued recalling what happened that day. He received a welcome party from his former comrades. As much as he hated to admit it, it really touched a chord in his rotten soul. But he also knew those were just one of the many fleeting moments in a shinobi's existence. He should not be greatly affected.

He touched his head protector. It seemed to be a very significant article before. Naruto would lay his life on the line just for it. But as time passed he realized that head protectors were nothing more but a tool. You could wear any head protector if you wanted to. It would not affect your dignity because in the end, the outcome mattered most.

He continued recalling. He watched fireworks with his friend and realized that people were foolish to spend time lazing around and dreaming. You would not reach your dream just by dreaming of it. But it was the reason why they were called dreams in the first place. Goal. It was what a ninja should have because goals were reachable.

He knew he should stop there. At the fireworks. But events of that day continued barging into his mind.

"Yo!"

That voice. That hair. That hand. That smile. His mind just kept playing the same line and repeating the same scene.

And then Naruto…

He wondered why he acted that way in front of their sensei. It was different than Naruto's action towards him when Naruto still liked Sakura. He had never seen Naruto wearing such expressionless expression before. Naruto was always grinning like mad if not scowling. Like right now – he was smiling like there was really something worth smiling for.

"Really, what is it Sasuke? Do you want something?"

"Nothing," he answered and inwardly sighed.

"Hmm," Naruto wondered out loud, "Or are you beginning to fall for me, Sasuke! I knew it! Just tell me the truth Sasuke and I won't let you down!"

"Shut up."

Naruto laughed, his typical "hehehe". And Sasuke could not help but smile. Some things don't change that easily, his mind restated, together with the memory of the scene accompanying it. His smile instantly faded. Some things never change easily and Sasuke cursed that fact. It was the painful truth.

"Sasuke?" Naruto called.

"What again?" he asked, irritated, as he turned to face his companion, a frown ready in his face. But it soon vanished when he felt Naruto's lips on his.

To be continued…

A/N: I'm beginning to sound mushy. Mwehehehehehe. Anyway, I know I know… the pacing is slowing down. I am honestly wondering if I should still go on with the story or not because the plot contained MORE than just romance and it seems too hard to come up with ideas. Anyway, it would be a shame to just stop here because I haven't even arrived to my favorite part KAKASASU! –squeals-

Please review, okay?