Chapter 23; Helm's Deep
As we rode through the flatlands before the ravine, Helm's Deep loomed ever us casting shade over our hearts and minds. It left us more daunted and weary than before, if such a thing was possible. As we rode forward I said nothing: not to the men, neither Théoden, nor to Legolas or Gimli. Aragorn falling from the cliff made no sense, nothing did. Wargs never attacked in the book and Aragorn never fell. He couldn't have died…or could he? Could "The Return of the King" mean Sauron returning and taking lordship over the land? The closer we came to the deep the more I began to fear.
'If Aragorn's death wasn't in the book, why did it happen?' As I thought I could feel sweat drip down my forehead and a chill run up my spine as I thought, 'what if it is because of me?'
The sound of Hasufel's hooves clopping against the stone walkway droned on in my ears until the pace quickened and we sprinted into the keep. The pathway was ide enough for four men on horse back to ride side by side, but that was not so when hundreds of people littered its sides. As we climbed I felt Legolas' leg brush past mine as he rode silently on his horse and Gimli rattled around in his armor behind him. We finally came to the top of the stairs where Èowyn rushed out from one of the many arches. My heart lightened at seeing her; it was good to her face. I saw her eyes scan over us as she said with surprise,
"So few. So few of you have returned!" I dismounted my horse as Théoden said strongly,
"Our people are safe. We have paid for it with many lives." Legolas and Gimli dismounted and Gimli took off his helmet as he approached Èowyn. I looked down at the floor; I knew what he was going to tell her. Èowyn's face searched Gimli's as she asked,
"Lord Aragorn…where is he?" I could hear tears in his voice as he replied slowly,
"He fell…" suddenly I saw a hand take the reins of my horse. I looked up and saw Legolas looking at me with a sad face.
"I will take your horse…go rest." He said as he took my reins. "Go." He repeated reassuringly; I nodded and replied,
"Thank you." I forfeited the horse quietly and lowered my head as I walked to Èowyn. I asked her, "Èowyn? I'm tired, where can I rest?" It took her a while to answer me before she replied slowly,
"You may sleep with me, in the chambers. Follow me."
"Thank you." I said slowly as I followed her up some stairs and through several passageways. Every few moments I saw her glance over her shoulder at me though I did not make any eye contact with her. She led me to a room with four sets of blankets and furs lying on the floor. Èowyn's big cloth bag was already lying near one of the piles of blankets and furs so I laid my things by another pile of blankets that was away from the window. I carefully laid my sword and my folded blanket by the pile.
"Laura," I heard Èowyn ask, "What happened? To Lord Aragorn I mean. You were there, would you please tell me?" as she asked this I closed my eyes and sat down as I answered softly,
"Please…do not ask this of me now Èowyn, it is too-"
"But you were there! I could not fight! I had to lead the people here while you fought! Laura tell me what happened out there! Is that not the least you can do?" I clenched my fists as I yelled at her,
"Èowyn! DO NOT ASK THIS OF ME!" I took a breath and calmed myself a little; at this tears began to fall down my cheeks as I said; "I am overwhelmed…I lost a friend today." I felt my chest turn hard as stone, and the fountain of sorrow uncapped again. I managed to stutter, "Thank you for letting me have a bed. I need to sleep." I grabbed the sides of my cloak and clutched it to me as I lay down on the stone floor. Thankfully Èowyn argued no further. The sound of her footsteps told my ears she left the room and I dozed off. A cool breeze from the window penetrated my clothes and I shivered and cried the harder; I sat up and grabbed my blanket to pull it over me. As I moved I heard something fall to the floor; I looked and saw Arwen the doll lying on the floor with her string hair covering her face. I reached slowly for the doll and looked at it as its arms flopped towards me. 'You need her more than I do…you looked lonely.' I heard the little girl'svoice say. I smiled as I wiped my nose and sniffled. I squeezed the doll tight as I cried, cuddled the doll next to me, and rolled on my side.
The rain fell cold and hard and it stung as it hit my face. The heavy sand stuck to my feet as I walked forward; everything was silent, as if sound did not exist here. I came to the top of a small, sandy hill, I saw the ocean; it was grey, not a normal, welcoming blue and its waves crashed on the sand. My feet continued to walk, as if I had no control over them, and I walked to the water's side, the angry waves licking my feet. At that moment I heard a voice, it was Galadriel speaking as I stood before the sea.
"I amar prestat aen…"
Suddenly from out of the depths of the water, a huge grey wave came toward me. My feet planted themselves and refused to move as the water climbed past my ankles and inched towards my knees. The wave came closer and closer, and I simply watched as it loomed above me. NO! I mouthed, I have to move! I have to move! I'll drown! My body paid no heed to what I said; it simply stared at the wave as it began to crash down on me
"Han mathon ne nen…"
When the water hit me, it was like ice, ice prickling me all over my skin and tearing me apart. I struggled but I couldn't move; my lunges were aching and my muscles were tired. The air rushed from my mouth and I could feel the cold arms of infinity wrap around my shoulders; I was dying and I was simply lost in this world of cold, wet hurt. I looked up to the surface one last time for any sign of help and saw a hand reach down into the water. I fought against death's embrace to reach for it, and at long last I grabbed it. It pulled me through the water; I was traveling closer and closer to the surface of the water and then I came to it.
"Han mathon ne chae, ha noston ned 'wilith."
First my hand, then my arm, then my elbow and finally my face. The sunshine was warm on my face as I was pulled into the boat; my frozen skin was warmed and revived by the compassionate and forgiving sun. The gentle rocking of the boat soothed me, and I felt as if a great hope had shone back into my life. I heard a mumbling sound in my ears, though I couldn't understand what it said. I opened my eyes, but squinted since the sun shone directly into them and I saw a hazy figure above me. I heard the splashing of water against the sides of the boat, gulls soaring over the water, and sea wind blowing against my skin. "Who are you?" I asked wearily, and the figure kneeled beside me.
I blinked once and when I opened my eyes I was no longer out on the water. I laid on a glorious white bed, in a flowing white gown. I looked around me and saw trees, a multitude of them. I put my bare feet on the wooden floor and walked from the white bed. I was on a talan and in Lothlórien once more. At this my heart leapt and I began to call out, "My Lady? Lady Galadriel? My Lady where are you?" There was no answer to my calls as I wandered the immense talan. I finally saw two people speaking with one another. I immediately recognized the woman as the Lady Galadriel, but the man with her kept his back to me. The lady left the man's side and walked to me as we both embraced gently. She stroked my hair as I rested my head on her shoulder.
"Vedui' Laura. Greetings Laura." She said to me in a sweet voice.
"Arwenamin…My Lady…" I answered in Elvish as I stood back and curtsied slightly. How I spoke Elvish I did not know; it was as if my mouth and tongue knew the language though my head did not.
"A'maelamin, mankoi lle amin avara? My beloved, why did you refuse me?" She asked in a sweet curiosity. At this I grabbed her hand as I sank to my knees and said,
"Arwenamin, amin hiraetha nan'amin uuma merna ta; ilai'ner. My lady, I am sorry but I do not want it; not anymore." As I said this Galadriel gently lifted my chin so that I looked at her and stood.
"Mankoi? Why?" She asked again and I thought before I answered,
"Ten'amin…ten'amin mela ened arda, amin mela Tel'gwaith, amin mela… Because…because I love Middle Earth, I love the people, I love…"
"Lle mela…You love…" She replied. I stopped and looked downward. I looked back into her eyes, one of the only two pairs of eyes that could read my soul inside out.
"What is it that you 'love' about this place?" The man whom Galadriel was speaking with before spoke to me. His voice was so familiar; I looked at the man, who was now facing me and I gasped. I left Galadriel's side and walked slowly towards him. He was tall with a square, manly face and dark, buzz cut hair. Slowly my eyes began to water as I reached out to touch him, it was smooth as if he had just shaved and his eyes looked right into mine. A tear ran down my cheek as I whispered to him,
"Dad?" he nodded as he touched my cheek and I jumped into his arms; smiling and crying my eyes out. "Oh Dad! I missed you so much! Have you seen me? Have you seen me out there? I've survived and I'm here standing in front of you!" I heard my father laugh as he held me and spun me around in the air as we hugged.
"I saw it all Laura-Lynn! You're like fuckin' Rambo! I couldn't believe it!" I smiled as I clutched to my father, never wanting to let him go.
"Promise me that you'll never leave me again…" I whispered in his ear. With that we stopped twirling and he set me down again. He ran his fingers through my hair. I watched my father pull his hand back and look at Galadriel.
"The power of the enemy is growing. Sauron will use is puppet, Saruman, to destroy the people of Rohan." Galadriel said to me. I looked back to my father as I said in forced disbelief,
"N'uma…No…" I looked at my father who looked back at me one more time, but something was happening to him; he was fading away. Galadriel said to me as I placed my hands on my father's shoulders,
"Isengard has been unleashed. The Eye of Sauron now turns to Gondor, the last free kingdom of men. His war on this country will come swiftly; he senses the Ring is close." Suddenly my hands didn't rest on my father's shoulders anymore, they fell right through him. I searched my father's face for any explanation but I found only an encouraging smile. His ghostlike hand reached out to touch my cheek once more, but I didn't feel it; all I felt was cold. "The strength of the Ring bearer is failing. In his heart, Frodo begins to understand: the quest will claim his life."
"No…" I said as my father's hand passed through my cheek and he looked to the floor. "Daddy, please, don't leave me…not now…Daddy I need you." He kissed me on the forehead though I did not feel it. A tear ran down my cheek as he said in a fading and echoing voice,
"Laura-Lynn, I hear you, I see you always and I love you always. Be good kid." I reached out to touch him one more time, but he had faded away, and I was left with Galadriel. I cupped my hands on my face as I cried.
"Dad? Dad! Dad, don't leave me again! Please not again Dad! COME BACK!" The tears ran down my face freely like they hadn't done in some time. I fell to my knees as I grabbed at the wooden floor, scraping for anything left of my father, something that could bring him back to me.
"In the gathering dark, the will of the Ring grows strong. It works hard now to find its way back into the hands of men; men who are so easily seduced by its power. Sauron will have dominion over all life on this Earth, even until the ending of the world. The time of the elves is over." As I heard her speak I wiped my eyes and stood. I was with out my father as I had been before; nothing had changed. I looked to the lady Galadriel as she finished and suddenly the world around me began to fade, just as it did to my father. "Return to earth Laura. Do you remember the pain that Janine is encountering in your absence? Why do you cling to hope when there is so little left?" it was now blackness surrounding Galadriel and myself. I stood tall and looked her straight in the eye as she finished, "Go home Laura, you do not belong here."
"Yes…I think I do." I answered strongly, "I will not walk away from Rohan, the fellowship or the war. I will not walk away from what is started! They all mean too much to me now." I bowed to Galadriel and when I turned to walk away I was back on the darkened beach.
I woke suddenly with sweat on my forehead and stinging eyes. As I sat up, I saw Legolas leaning against the far stonewall, looking out of the window; his head quickly turned to me as I awoke. He said,
"Laura. You did not sleep well at all." I looked at him for a moment, surprised at his presence and quickly wiped the sweat from my forehead.
"No, I did not." I replied and stared at the ground. "Why are you here? Were you watching me sleep?"
"Hardly." He answered, "From this window there is a clear view of the gate." I nodded then rested my head in my hands. Then with one thought about my father my eyes began to tear.
"I saw him, I saw him…" I said quietly as I cried.
"Who?" Legolas asked, "Whom did you see?" I finally looked up at him as tears began to drip down my cheeks.
"My father…" He looked at me with a puzzled expression. I shook my head as I said, "I saw him in my sleep…but he is dead…" Remembering my father standing and recalling what Galadriel said was all too much; why couldn't the past just die? Why couldn't I just exist without any strings attached? "Legolas," I said frankly through my tears, "Do you know how my father died? Have I told you? He died fighting a war across the seas when I was fourteen. As a matter of fact they never found his dead body…or his live one." Became sarcastic and caustic as I continued. "He never returned to us, my mother, my sister and I, the only bit of him we had left was the letter the government sent us labeling him an MIA…he died an anonymous death and lies in a nameless tomb!" My spitefulness began to quell and I added. "A grave, a tomb…something tangible with his name that I can mourn over…" I shook my head as I stood and wiped my tears away. I added, "I'm sorry, I did not mean to shout, but that dream was…vivid. And losing Aragorn-"
"Yes," he said with a nod and faced me. I looked at him for a moment then turned to leave the room.
"Wait." I heard him say from behind me. I stopped and looked up at the ceiling as I felt his hand come to rest on my shoulder. "Do not go out there yet, it will only cause you embarrassment." I looked at him, smiled, and gave a weak laugh before I nodded and he said. "Stay…morn…rest…there is a war coming." He had a look of sincere caring on his face; with that he left and I remained behind to rest.
Chapter 22 Review RepliesTriGemini: Yeah, I felt that it was necessary that the little girl to happen. To be totally honest I don't think that there is anything more sincere and honest than a child's voice, and I think at that in the state Laura was in she needed to hear a voice like that.
Arami: I was just kidding around with the China comment! Honestly I am very jealous that you got to go out of the country while I stay grounded in the good 'ole U. S. of A…oy vey. But thanks for your comments.
Ms. Unknown: yeah, if chapter 22 was the last chapter for the previous version of the story I can't remember but I hope that in the end you'll say that it has much improved?
Isabel: I promise you that the romance IS coming soon. And thanks again for all of your faithful reviews! I love hearing from you!
Merenwen Luinwel: Thank you for giving such wonderful compliments to Laura's character. I lover her so much and she is truly my other half. And I am glad to hear that someone appreciate the reality of Laura and Legolas' relationship. It real, and that's what I love about it. Like I said to TriGemini, I really felt it necessary that Laura hear from someone so pure and innocent to keep her grounded in reality. Thank you for all of the wonderful compliments.
