A/N: I know there's been a couple day lapse since my last update, I was waiting to see if there'd be any reviews for my second chapter, -glares-. Nah, I'm just kidding, I, myself, am a hesitant reviewess. Anway...Let's get on with it.
PS- To those of you who have read my song-fic. I'm considering nixing the part about the muggle school, seeing as I seem to be on to something with this Arthur Weasley business, comments? (After all this doesn't have to be strictly based on the songfic)
Disclaimer: Characters not mine.
Chapter Three: The sad
Severus Snape thought back on the last week. He'd been quick to distinguish the start of year enthusiasm in most of his students with his harsh tongue. The dismal repetition of the school year always put him in a foul mood when he had to re-enter it once more in September. Even confined to the dungeons, the farthest possible from any student mirth, Severus still felt bogged down by the cheerfulness of the school.
You chose this, Severus, he thought to himself. This was your escape plan.
It was true, he had absolutely no right to complain about his condition at Hogwarts. He had been the one seduced by Lord Voldemort's power, he was the one who came here for salvation when he couldn't take it anymore. Action precedes essense. This was his own doing.
Still...he could brood if he wanted to.
It was nine o'clock, saturday evening. Severus paced his room, despair licking at his heels. This was his ritual. Before he had a break down he would pace his room, thinking furiously of all his woes and then chastizing himself for even considering self-pity. After this came the drinking, which usually led to inebriation and, eventually, a comatose slumber. Severus was nearing the end of the pacing stage.
At the end of one long stalk across his room he came to stand before a tall wooden cabinet. He reached out his shaking hand and opened the door to the cabinet, pulling out a bottle of unidentifiable, yet clearly alcoholic liquid. Severus pulled out the stopper as he reclined into his chair before the fire. It was lively and leaping, yet never warming. Severus' chambers were permanently chilled.
With a shiver the professor took a swig of the liquor. It burned down his throat. Taking the bottle away from his mouth he lowered it to his lap and stared into the fire. What had become of him?
In school, during the first phase of his life at Hogwarts, Severus had never been popular. Potter and Black had unceasingly teased him, for no real reason. But the torture he had endured from his classmates was nothing to the torture he endured at home. Every single night Severus' father would abuse his mother and him. The bruises that he carried away from these beatings, however, were nothing to the emotional scars he still bore. Together with his abuse at home, and alienation at school, Severus became a dark, cynical man. However, despite his vile external character, somehow he'd gained the love of a woman.
Her name was Arienette. Severus met her at university, he attended Hawkwing's University of Alchemy after Hogwarts and had been apprenticed for two years before joining the Death Eaters. Arienette was bold and outspoken, traits that Severus looked to avoid in females. But she had won him over. They were partners in concocting some of the most advanced potions known to the wizarding world and when it came to potion-making, Arienette was a professional. She was goofy and carefree outside the classroom, but when it came down to work, she was completely focused. Severus' respect for her abilities grew into admiration and eventually he came to care for her.
For reasons still unknown to Severus, Arienette had taken an instant fancy to him. She strived for his affections throughout their first year at school, but it was not until they were appointed potions partners that Severus began to reciprocate her feelings. They fell in love and were in a relationship for six years before it went sour.
It was the year before Severus joined the Death Eaters that the relationship fell apart. He had expressed his wish to Arienette to join the rising dark wizard. Arienette had been disgusted. She had always known that Severus Snape was a bit of a sour wizard, but never had she thought that her love could join the ranks of that madman! Severus had assumed that showing Arienette his comittment to Voldemort's cause would prove his readiness to settledown and provide for her. How wrong he had been. She broke it off soon after his announcement.
Severus sat, in his room at Hogwarts, thinking about these deeds and the mistake he had made. He'd never get her back. She was lost to him.
The bottle was empty. He looked through its opening and felt the thing was mocking him silently. He threw it into the fire and clumsily left his room. Only slightly intoxicated, Severus was able to navigate the dungeons without much difficulty. After he had almost come upon two first years heading toward the Slytherin common room, he stuck to the shadows, fearful of coming into contact with the innocent students of Hogwarts.
Eventually Severus stopped his walking and remained standing in one spot for a very long time. It had been so long that the shadow he stood in now seemed eternal, he could not see anything beyond the darkness; he began to panic. It was a flash of white that brought him to his senses. He stared as Draco Malfoy made his way, fists clenched and jaw set, down the corridor and toward the stairwell that led to the rest of the castle.
Severus Snape contemplated the innocence of Hogwarts' students for a very long time after that, before slowly turning back to his chambers and opening up another bottle.
