Chapter Two: Grocery Shopping

Snape ran out to his garage and jumped into his car. He jabbed the key into the ignition and twisted it, starting the car. He was still very edgy about using Muggle transportation. He backed up slowly and drove down the street. It wasn't that bad on a lovely spring morning. He opened the window and drove a little faster. After turning a few corners he came to the super market. He had to circle around because he couldn't find a parking place.

There was one right in a small corner. Snape drove up to it and began backing up, but just as he was about to get into it someone pulled up into it.

"THAT WAS MY SPACE, YOU JERK!" Snape shouted, losing his temper.

A big, bulky man looked out his window. Snape had to learn to watch his mouth. This was getting aggravating; he very quickly drove off, deciding to park across the street.

Inside the super market

Snape, muttering to himself, grabbed a cart and started going through the different aisles, trying to find everything he needed and fast. He picked up a shampoo bottle and stared, examining the label. "Makes greasy hair even greasier, but still clean. Hm, sounds interesting." With that, he dropped it into the cart.

"Snape?" someone asked quietly from behind him.

Snape turned and found himself looking right at Lucius Malfoy and his new son named Draco inside the cart he was pushing.

"Lucius, how nice to see you. Is this Draco? Wow, he looks just like you," he said, looking from father to son.

"Yep, that's him. He just said his first word today. You know what it was?" he asked, his eyes beaming.

"I don't know. What?" Snape asked, shrugging.

"Daddy!" Lucius squealed. "Isn't that wonderful?"

"I thought their first word had to be Voldemort?" Snape said, looking at his friend in a weird way.

"Oh, yeah. But that's so hard. So we stuck to 'daddy'."

Just then a grinning Draco leapt from where he sat and grabbed a hunk of Lucius' hair. "Daddy!" he shrieked, pulling on it as hard as he could.

"NO, DRACO, NOT DADDY'S HAIR!" Lucius screamed, trying desperately to free his hair from his son's strong grip.

Draco resumed his giggling. Lucius looked up at Snape frantically. "Help me! He's - OW, OW, OW - HURTING ME! DO SOMETHING!"

Snape grabbed his wand out and conjured up a lollypop. "This should work," he muttered to himself. Slowly he lifted the lollypop right in front of Draco. "Hey, big guy, how about a big, juicy lollypop, huh? Does that sound nice?"

Draco grabbed the lollypop in one hand and popped it into his mouth, still holding on to his father's hair with the other.

"Draco, let Daddy go now okay. OW, YOU'RE PULLING IT OUT BY THE ROOTS!" Lucius screamed in agony.

"DADDY, SUFFER!" Draco shrieked, slamming the sticky lollypop into Lucius' hair. "BAD, BAD DADDY! GIVE BACK LOLLY!" he screamed, tugging harder then ever at the red lollypop stuck to the chunk of golden hair.

"OW! YES! YES! DADDY'S SUFFERING!" Lucius struggled to turn to Snape. "I'll see you later," he muttered. All the way down the aisle he screamed, "OW! NOW THAT'S NOT NICE! DRACO, LET GO OF DADDY'S HAIR OR DADDY WILL GET MAD! OW! THAT'S IT YOUNG MAN, I'M TELLING YOUR MOTHER!"

Everyone in the aisle turned and looked at Snape. "Old college roommate," he said, laughing, then retreating from the aisle.


A/N: Hello! I'm back! I told you I would be. Anyway, onward to thanking my reviewers.

Here comes the hockey puck: I'm very glad you like it. Yes, I feel bad for Snape, too. But if you think it's bad now just wait 'til later. It's a nightmare. And the little girl was really different than her original character. Anyway, you are the first to review so if you would just be so kind as to throw this extremely heavy anvil at my random mean guy I'd be very much obliged.

Wicked-n-Lazy: I'm glad to hear that. That's just what I was aiming for. YAYNESS! I so stole that word from Avie. (Sniggers) And don't worry, for being such a good little reviewer you get to throw something at him as well. So here you go. (Hands over another anvil)

Super Shayde: THANK YOU! I THINK I WILL WRITE MORE! And you did inspire me! You said I should write a story about Snape opening a daycare center. But I couldn't think of anything for that story line so instead I cooked up this. Glad you lurve it! And don't worry yourself about little old Avie. She'll be fine.

Malara: I'm sorry that you didn't get to review it. (grabs carrot) And stop hitting yourself with that. You'll give yourself brain damage. (throws carrot over shoulder, hitting a random member of the audience)

"OW! SERIOUS BRAIN DAMAGE!"

Whoops. Anyway. Yes, very random as my brain wanted it. You liked Dumbledore's letter! Yay! (blinks) You know I just noticed that didn't take long to come up with. Huh! How strange. Actually, I would get my own account but I'd lose these stories. Thanks for your review, glad you liked. (Drags Malara back onto stage.) Don't leave without your anvil. You've still got to hit the mean guy, please aim well. Thank you.

Vela Taylor: I'm sorry you don't know a lot about Harry Potter. But I shall make it clear to you! It will become clear if you continue reading it. Yes, he is mean, isn't he? Well, you really got to look at it from his point of view as well. Anyway, all and all it's nice of you to be here. And Warp working at WAL-MART? WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO? For reading and reviewing, even though you didn't read HP, you get to throw something at the man.

SSC: Well, you're not really the first reviewer but…Ah, what the heck, go ahead. (hands over anvil)

Miss Piratess: Yes! I is back! (Huggles her back) Thank you! (Also hands her an anvil)

Kyer: A plot? (blinks) I don't think I have one. Anyway, you got some of it right. He couldn't find a normal job after he graduated, but he's not working undercover. Don't worry, you won't be lost for long. It all comes together soon. And what do you know, you also get to throw an anvil. Here you go. (hands over another anvil)

LilStripedTomato: Um…sorry if you got confused on who's writing the story. But that's all right. Anywho, my names Alu Sapphire, but you can call me Alu. Avie is just putting my story on her account because I don't have one. And my goodness, you're right. It is insane. If you think this one's bad, wait 'til you read this chapter. Toddle-oo to you, too. And you get to throw just for being such a nice person and reviewing. (hands over another anvil)

Sors: No! Don't butcher me! I updated, I updated! And here's your anvil.

A/N: Please review, and if you do, please don't curse!