CHAPTER 2 – Taming the Wild
Shuffling into the kitchen against his will, Ryan found Kirsten sitting at the table flipping through files. His entry got her attention and her expression resembled Sandy's, that of an angry parent. Again, the silence was reaching deafening proportions
"So Sandy told me about..." he paused uncomfortably. "I'm sorry."
Kirsten sat back, folding her arms across her body. "Do you remember anything about last night Ryan?"
Shaking his head, "Look, I can't change who I am. And I'm not asking you to accept it. It won't be here much longer and I'll be gone anyway."
Frowning on that comment, "Why do you say that Ryan? Don't you like it here?"
"Pfft. Do you like me being here?"
"That's not a fair question. I don't know you. You haven't given me the chance to know you."
"Let me save you the suspense...you don't want me here."
"Ryan, with just a little effort on your part, your life could be anything you want it to be."
"Right. The only things I know how to do are hustle, party and overpower. Not exactly Yale qualifications."
Kirsten could see the fire behind his eyes. He truly believed this was what his life was destined to be. She had never seen that in the eyes of such a young person. Hopelessness. Again Sandy's words rang out, 'No one said it would be easy.' They had to try to make a change in his life. If they didn't, who would?
"Ryan, listen..."
"Don't. Just save it okay? Look, I'm sorry for what I did...in front of you. I may have a wild side but I don't normally do...things like that in front of girls...especially moms."
Even though she didn't know much about Ryan, his apology seemed heart-felt. "So, maybe you can make it up to me by not coming home drunk again?"
Dropping his eyes to the floor, he agreed to nothing.
"Ryan...you have to try. Otherwise the next time you throw up all over my foyer floor, you can clean it up."
"I did that too?"
Uh...huh." Kirsten nodded, letting the weight of his actions rest on his shoulders.
Shifting his weight uncomfortably, "I'm sorry."
Sitting alone on the pier, Ryan watched the waves break onto the sand. This place was getting to him. The normalcy. The niceness. He winced, narrowing his eyes at its perfection. Reaching over for his pack of stolen cigarettes, he lit up. A couple of drags off the cigarette seemed to calm his nerves. Something had changed. He was still the same guy from Chino, that much he knew. But why did this morning's conversation with Sandy, and then the one with Kirsten, weigh so heavily on his mind? He never cared what any adult thought about him or what he did. Ironically, it seemed his actions didn't carry the shock factor that they did back home. Had he thrown up on his mother's floor, surely he would have received one hell of a beating. These Cohen's, all they were basically saying was 'please don't do that again'. He didn't know how to handle that. His mind was blank. Sucking on his cigarette a moment longer, he stared at the waves again.
"Those things will kill you, you know."
Ryan turned an agitated glare toward Seth who was in the process of plopping himself down next to Ryan, invited or not.
"So what are you doing here?"
"Nothing."
"Well you look deep in thought. So what are you thinking about?"
"Nothing."
"Okay then. So you're doing nothing and thinking nothing. Great. So what's the point of being here?"
"Are you always this obnoxious?" Ryan asked sarcastically, pulling another cigarette from his pack and lighting it.
"Right because you're just a fountain of sweetness yourself," Seth replied just as sarcastically. "Come on man, is it your goal to have cancer by dinner or something?"
Ryan's mouth curled into a mischievous smile. "I'll bet you've never had a cigarette a day in your life."
"And why would I want to? There's absolutely nothing good about them."
Taking a drag himself, Ryan passed the cigarette over to Seth.
"You want me to smoke this?" A flabbergasted Seth inquired looking around panicked but somehow managing to take possession of the ill-fated stick.
"What's the matter? Afraid it'll ruin your Mama's boy image?"
"I'm not a Mama's boy," Seth countered quietly, nursing the nerve Ryan had just stomped on. Determined to show Ryan he was no wimp, he took a drag attempting to look as natural as possible until the choking started.
"Give me that," Ryan instructed, taking the cigarette away. "You're gonna kill yourself with that."
"I just (cough) thought (cough)..."
"I know what you thought. Don't do it again," Ryan reprimanded, letting the smoke seep through his teeth as he spoke.
That awkward, yet familiar, Cohen silence surrounded them. Ryan was getting used to it by now.
"How do you do that?" Seth asked, breaking the silence.
"Do what?"
"How do you get...tough?"
Ryan locked his gaze on Seth. The boy was a poster child for weakness. Awkward and curious about all the wrong things, Seth seemed a disaster waiting to happen. The streets of Chino would swallow him whole. But he had heart, and that's more than Ryan could say about half the guys back in Chino.
"I can't teach you how to be tough Seth."
Seth pondered that comment, dejected by Ryan's answer. "I'm doomed to live and die in this bubble."
The comment caught Ryan off guard. He couldn't imagine why someone with Seth's life wouldn't be happy. It seemed to suit Seth. The lifestyle was something straight off of T.V. even though Ryan didn't see himself fitting into it.
"Your bubble is better than my box."
"Are you kidding me? You've got a great life!"
"What are you nuts?"
"Yeah, I'm nuts! You're confident, you're tough, and your life is full of adventure and excitement. My life has been the same since the day I was born."
"I can assure you, my life isn't all that glamorous."
"Neither is mine. I get to dress up like a salesman every weekend and go from charity function to charity function with my only company being my parents. Then, I get to go to school next month where the entire student body seems hell bent on making me the butt off all their jokes. Doesn't that sound like a great life to you?" Hesitating before continuing, "What is your life like?"
Narrowing his eyes at Seth, "Why are you so interested in me?"
"Because you're not from here. You're not Newport. You're the anti-Newport and I want to get on that train!"
"Trust me. You don't want to be me."
"Yes. I do."
The two stared at each other for a moment. Silence. Ryan went back to concentrating on the waves. Seth continued to concentrate on Ryan. When he realized there would be no further discussion on the matter, he slouched in disappointment and stared at the waves just like Ryan.
"Well...you've done some fun stuff since you've been here."
"You find puking fun?"
"No. I don't find puking fun. But I'll bet the party before the puking was fun...right?"
Ryan raised his eyebrows and tipped his head. "The part I remember was a lot of fun. The rest is gone."
Out of the corner of his eye, Ryan could see Seth eager for more information. This kid really did live in a bubble.
"You really want to know what I've done since I got here?"
"Yes. I do. What I already know is that you hate me because I'm not tough like you and you aren't hanging with me because I am 'the Newport'...and you aren't at all about the Newport. What you don't get is the fact that...that's what makes you so interesting! You're not one of these pod people that I live with day in and day out."
Sighing, "Alright, if you repeat any of this..."
"I won't. I promise I won't."
"So far, I've been caught with cigarettes by your Dad. He took 'em, so I stole these. I got to go shopping with your Mom, which totally sucked. I got drunk last night at a kick ass party and apparently puked in your living room and then took a leak in front of your Mom, or so I'm told."
"I witnessed the puking. It was extremely gross Ryan."
"You can't handle puking and you want me to teach you how to be tough?"
"I know. I'm a hopeless case."
"Sorry, but you're doomed to be Newport."
Putting her earrings on, "Oh Sandy! When did you make time to pick these up? That was sweet of you. You saved me a trip today. Ryan will thank you, given how much he loves shopping."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"These," Kirsten replied holding up two tubes of Plum Frost lipstick. "Why are you looking at me like that? You mean you didn't..."
Sandy continued to look confused while Kirsten started getting angry.
"Oh no he didn't!"
"Who didn't do what? You've lost me," Sandy asked, trying to figure out where this was going.
A frustrated Kirsten offered an explanation. "I believe our bad boy is at it again."
"Kirsten, he's capable of many things, but that's not his shade."
"Stop joking Sandy! He stole these!"
"What? Why would he steal lipstick?"
"Remember I told you about the Cosmetic Lady from hell? She told me they were out of this shade of lipstick. When I was checking out, Ryan was bending over the lipstick drawer looking at something. I called him over and we left. Sandy he took these out of the drawer!"
"But you said the woman at the counter said they didn't have your shade?"
"I'm going to get to the bottom of this."
Heading to the pool house, she ran into Seth and Ryan walking around the corner of the house.
"Seth I need to talk to Ryan for a minute."
Ignoring the pending conversation, Ryan continued walking right past Kirsten and into the Pool House, plopping himself down on the edge of the bed.
"Ryan..."
"Here we go again," he sighed, disgusted.
"Where did these come from?" she asked holding out the lipstick tubes.
"Don't know."
Kirsten eyed him. Much to her disappointment, his face held no tells of any wrongdoing on his part. He was looking her right in the eyes and lying. His confidence was staggering.
"Ryan...I know you stole these."
"No I didn't." He snapped back, frustration of his own was starting to build.
"We'll see about that. You and I are going back to Fashion Island right now, you're going to return these to that evil saleswoman and tell her you're sorry. If I were you, I'd start praying she doesn't press charges. Get your jacket."
Now that struck a nerve. Charges would lead to the police being involved, which would lead him straight back to Juvie. "Alright! I took 'em. So what?"
"So what? Ryan, you cannot walk around taking whatever you want whenever you feel like it. I will not have a thief in this house."
Standing up, Ryan stepped up to Kirsten making her uncomfortable to the point she took a step away from him. "She lied to you. I watched her look through that drawer and move those two to the edge."
"Ryan why didn't you just mention that instead of stealing them. You are old enough to know stealing is wrong."
Backing off a bit, he folded his arms, tipped his head and narrowed his eyes at Kirsten. "Because there's a bit of personal satisfaction knowing how pissed off she's going to be when she goes back to get that lipstick only to find her little scam didn't work."
"Is everything with you about who's ahead and getting payback?"
Ryan held his position in silence.
Narrowing her eyes Kirsten stepped up to Ryan. "This is not acceptable in this family. Promise me you will not steal another thing."
His eyes met hers. His look was penetrating. "No"
"No?"
"I said no." His jaw locked making his glare just on the edge of intimidating.
Unnerved by him for the first time since he arrived, Kirsten took several steps away, unsure of exactly how far he would take this. She noticed his eyes following her even though his body stood motionless.
Ryan on the other hand was doing his best to exercise control. All he did was tell her 'no' and he could see he had frightened her by talking back. He definitely rattled her cage. There was no need to take it any further.
"I'm sorry you feel that way Ryan. I would have loved the opportunity for you to make a life here with us."
"What is that supposed to mean? Am I finally free to go on my own?"
"No. It means you've left me no choice but to tell Sandy about this. The chips are in the air Ryan. We'll see where they come down." With that said, she turned and left the pool house.
Watching her walk across the patio, Ryan could see the encounter had completely exasperated her. She didn't know how to fight and yet that's all Ryan knew how to do. The chips were in the air all right and now Sandy was going to learn about this situation. And what goes up must come down. It was just a matter of time.
Walking out of his bathroom Ryan found Sandy sitting in the infamous chair. Ironically, he looked rather amused. Considering Ryan knew the stolen lipstick was behind this next chat, the conversation at hand didn't match Sandy's appearance.
"Ryan, please sit down. Let's talk."
"Great," Ryan replied grimly, preparing for the next onslaught of reprimanding.
"You know Ryan, we've...okay, I've been going about this all wrong. I get it now."
Sandy's enthusiasm was throwing Ryan for a loop. "Get what?" he asked, suspiciously.
Leaning in toward Ryan, Sandy poked him on the chest with his pointer finger causing a frown on Ryan's face. "You're afraid to be here!"
"What?" Ryan choked. "Sandy, I'm not afraid of anything."
"Ah see? And there it starts."
"What?"
"The fear. You're feeling it right now."
"I'm not afraid."
"Aw, denial. It's so you," Sandy mocked, smiling.
Ryan jutted his bottom lip out in frustration. "Enough Sandy."
Sitting back in his chair, Sandy continued to smile at Ryan. "I can't believe I didn't see this from the beginning."
"I told you, I'm not afraid."
"Oh the hell you aren't! You don't understand this Newport life because it's so different from where you come from. You're scared to death you won't succeed here so you're goal is to set out to fail. That way, in your own mind, you've lost nothing."
Sandy stared at Ryan, the weight of his words raining down on the teenager. Ryan's head dropped, his eyes were darting back and forth searching the floor. That caged animal feeling had returned with a vengeance. He felt trapped. His mouth opened to voice a rebuttal, but instead he supplied his stock answer. Silence.
"Ryan, we brought you here because we know you have it in you to succeed. We will not let you fail," Sandy offered quietly.
Sandy was turning out to be a pain in the ass. Ryan hated that he seemed one step ahead of him every at every turn. Back in Chino Ryan was a force to be reckoned with. No one stood up to him. No one questioned him. And here was Sandy and this Cohen family doing both as often as they could.
Again the silence lingered on. "Can I be alone now?" Ryan asked.
If Sandy hadn't known better, he could have sworn Ryan was begging to end the conversation.
"Sure. Dinner is in an hour. I guess we'll see what tonight's adventure will be...more sneaking out to get drunk, to support my theory, or joining us at the dinner table, to support yours. For the record Ryan," he paused. "I would love for you to prove me wrong."
After Sandy walked out, the stillness of the pool house consumed Ryan. He paced the floor with Sandy's conversation ringing in his ears. Forty-five more minutes and he'd have to make a decision. Should he give Newport a chance?
Kirsten rustled through the refrigerator for salad makings. Making a salad wasn't considered 'cooking' by her definition and it was one of the edible items she prided herself on. Salads. She could make a decent salad. Seth and Sandy were busy moving the 'real' food from take out containers into the appropriate tableware. All hustle and bustle came to a dead halt with the click of the patio door.
Ryan felt all the eyes on him and instantly regretted his decision. Standing with the door open, he looked back at the pool house knowing just two little steps would have him back on the patio, away from circus Cohen.
"Ryan," Sandy interrupted. "Glad you've come to join us. Kirsten always orders entirely too much of all the good stuff. Come sit down. I'll bring you a dish."
Gingerly, Ryan shut the patio door and reminded himself he could walk out at any time. No one could stop him from changing his mind. Sitting down at the table, he watched Seth park himself in the next seat with a plate mounded with food. Sandy placed a similar plate in front of Ryan. There was enough food there to last Ryan for three days. The site of the dish alone made Ryan uncomfortable.
"Sandy I can't eat all..."
"That's not a problem Ryan. Eat what you like, throw away what you don't like...and help yourself to more of whatever suits you. Okay?" Slapping Ryan on the back, Sandy could see he was nervous. About what, he didn't know.
Looking over his dish, Ryan tried a few things that he could recognize. Most of it was pretty good but he just couldn't bring himself to be comfortable at the table. He listened to the Cohen's talk about their day. Sandy's day at work, Kirsten's day at work, even Seth's skateboarding got in on the conversation. When the table fell quiet, Ryan decided he had had enough.
Clearing his throat, "I'm going to...go back to my room now."
Kirsten noticed his plate had hardly been touched. "Ryan, honey, you hardly ate. Is there something else I can get you? Something else you'd rather have?"
"No. Everything was fine...I just..."
"Then what's wrong?" Seth added.
Damn that Seth and his curiosity. "Nothing...Seth. I don't want any more." That Seth! Always asking questions. Ryan shook his head and left the kitchen, quickly opting for the quiet confines of his room.
It didn't take but a few minutes before Kirsten showed up in the pool house with his dinner plate in her hands.
"Let me guess, you have some rule about finishing what's on your plate right?" Ryan mocked, irritated.
"No not at all." Sitting herself down next to Ryan, she placed his dinner plate on her lap. "I just want to know the truth behind why you left the table."
"Why does everything have to have a reason with you people?"
"Why does everything have to be so complicated with you? It's just dinner."
Ryan pursed his mouth in annoyance. "Look...I haven't had a family dinner since I was ten. I can't sit there listening to your perfect lives and pretend that everything is just fine and dandy."
Nodding, "Okay Ryan. I understand." Standing up, she placed his dish on a table across from the bed. "You don't have to do anything with that if you don't want to, but, I got the impression maybe you weren't quite finished when you left so I warmed it a bit before I brought it to you. If you really are full, just leave it. I'll get it later. Good night."
Ryan sat in silence staring at the plate.
Late that evening while tidying up a handful of things in the kitchen, Kirsten noticed the light was still on in the pool house. Concerned about Ryan after the post dinner conversation, she decided to check on him. Entering the pool house, she found him asleep on his bed fully dressed. When she looked over at his dish, she smiled. Ryan had eaten most of what was on the plate. Taking the dish, she turned out the light on his night table. Smiling to herself she realized just maybe there was hope for this kid yet.
