A/N: Hello I'm back! Again!
"YEAH! Well what's it to us?"
Beats me! (looks at him very closely and remembers he's the mean random guy) Hey, aren't you supposed to be in the hospital for severe brain damage?
"Nooooooooo!"
Well, it sure seems like it…Anyway, I updated, so be happy. (Everyone's quiet) I SAID BE HAPPY! (a loud uproar of whistles, claps, and laughter) That's better. Come on I know you missed me this time.
"Oh just skip to the chapter, why don't ya?"
HEY! I WILL WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT. Okay, everyone, here's my latest chappie!
Chapter Three: The Laundry Mat and Taped Memoirs
Snape ran to the protection of the hardware department. He sighed, happy about not being the one everyone watches. He sighed and picked up a yellow wrench. He liked yellow. It reminded him of the sunflowers. My, he loved sunflowers.
"Snapesssssssssssssss?" came a hissing voice from behind him.
He dropped the wrench. Oh, no. Someone knew his name. That was never good. Wait, he knew that voice. "Lord Voldemort?" he asked, turning then bowing in a rather fast manner.
"Yessssssssssssssssssss!" he hissed. "I came to see yousssssssss." He stopped and broke into a coughing fit. "OH, FOR THE LOVE OF J.K.ROWLING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" he shouted, then calmed down and asked, "Do you know where I can find some tape?"
"Um, yes, but why do you need tape?"
"I'm taping my written memoirs together."
"You have memoirs? And why are you taping them? I mean, why not just staple it?"
"Snape, I have just had an idea. I will staple my memoir instead of tape it!"
"What a wonderful idea, my lord."
"You know what? On second thought, I think I'll stick to taping," he said, laughing maniacally. And with that, he Disapparated.
"Hey, you're not supposed to Disapparate in front of Muggles!"
Voldemort came back. "I do a lot of things in front of Muggles that I'm not supposed to do." And with that, he laughed maniacally again and then Disapparated
"Old college professor," he said and with that ran to the fruit stand. What else could go wrong, anyway? He took out his yellow stress ball and squeezed it as hard as possible. Just then something stinky ran by. He squeezed the ball harder and turned… It was Peter Pettigrew and he was…kissing every watermelon in the aisle.
Snape ran from the store, into his car, and drove as fast as possible to the laundry mat.
After a while of throwing his clothes from one machine to the other, Snape decided to sit down in one of the many chairs. It's not like anyone else he knew would be there, right? He was DEAD WRONG! He smelled something! It was stinky. But worst of all…it was stinky! He turned to see.
Peter Pettigrew was sitting in the chair next to him, bobbing his head up and down to the tone of the music blaring out of the headphones pressed firmly against his tiny head. He inched over to another chair. How the heck had Peter beaten him there? He was still in the store slobbering over watermelons when Snape left. But the thing that scared him most of all was that Peter was doing laundry, and all these years he thought Peter had never washed his clothes. Well, maybe he could ask Peter for some answers. He slowly tapped Peter's shoulder.
"Um, Peter?" Snape asked.
Peter turned his head to face Snape, singing, "BUDA, BUDA, BUPP, BUPP! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET OUT OF MY LIFE! I DON'T WANT TO EVER SEE YOU AGAIN! YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE SO NOW I'M GONNA RUIN YOURS! HEAR THE SOUNDS AS I BEAT MY PILLOW TO DEATH? BUDA, BUDA, BUPP, BUPP! IT NEVER HAD A CHANCE!"
Well actually, it wasn't really singing. It was more of yelling. Anyway! It was official; Peter was just as tone deaf as Bellatrix was. Snape got up and ran to the very last chair on the other side of the room. He took out his stress ball and squeezed. But there was something wrong. It was squishy. Too squishy. He looked down, only to find that his poor stress ball was lying lamely in his palm. It didn't even look like a ball anymore.
He sighed and looked over at Peter. BAD IDEA! Peter had just opened the door to one of the washing machines. He quickly transformed into a rat and jumped right in. Unfortunately this all happened in slow motion for Snape. Snape got up as the door of the machine slammed shut. He stood next to it, looking through the small glass circle in shock.
Had he died? But Snape's question was answered only right after he was done thinking it. Peter jumped out of the machine, looking very soaked. As a rat. Just when Snape thought things couldn't get worse, they did. Peter's fur puffed up and transformed into a GIANT FURBALL! OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Snape fell to the ground in a dead faint.
A/N: AND LET'S ALL GIVE A BIG HAND FOR ARWEN, MY SIS, FOR GIVING ME THE IDEA OF PETER JUMPING INTO THE WASHING MACHINE! If she's here. (long silence) I don't know if she is because I really don't care because this doesn't even exist. (O-O-scanning) I guess not. I need a lawyer…and a psychiatrist...and a purpose in life. (-;) I'm leaving.
And my review responses:
Here comes the hockey puck: YAYNESS! YOU CAME BACK! I THOUGHT I'D LOST EVERYONE! (Looks over audience) Yes, I do think you hit him. Lollies are evil, especially when they're sticky. But I must warn you not to feel bad for anyone! They're all idiots! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Malara: It is never too late to worry about your mind. Now hold still while I bandage you up! Eww! You got bark in your hair! Yes, go randomness! Dumbledore? Letters? OH, YEAH! Naw, he's just as much an idiot as everyone else. NO, DON'T GO DRACO ON ME! Yes scissors! Oh, Avie's gonna be mad at you for giving me ideas! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HIT THE MEAN RANDOM GUY! Yes, liking squealing is bad for your health! Oh, those bad parking spaces. I'm sorry you've been there! Well here's your update.
Super Shayde: Heck, it's okay! You don't have to be my first reviewer! But I must say Here comes the hockey puck is on a roll! She's reviewed first twice! Ah, you fell asleep, you poor thing. I know what that's like. NO, YOU MUST STILL HATE DRACO! DO NOT HA HA DRACO! RESIST WOMAN! RESIST! Ah what the heck go ahead, and ha ha Snape too. COOL! I MADE YOU LIKE SOMEBODY YOU HATE! And as for HP and the Something Something Something, I almost got out a piece of paper and wrote my will! Moofwafwafwafwafwa! YOU CALLED ME ALU! YAYNESS! Usually people call me Avie's little sister. You write that story, go you! Ah, well better get off. Avie's going to commit suicide. So, bye.
Miss Piratess: I'm glade you enjoyed Draco, and don't worry, he'll be back soon! You are supposed to throw it at the random man! Anyway, bye, bye!
BaYerrulz: THEN I SHALL GIVE YOU SOME MORE!
LilStripedTomato: Huzzah! An update! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, WOMAN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! (Blushes) Thanks for saying I have good work. Don't die just yet, there's still more to come! Happy Trails to you as well!
Sors: YAY! YOU ARE APPEASED! This chapter is short but the next will be longer. I promise! Just keep tapping those fingers.
Wicked-n-lazy: Yeah! You have returned! You think that part is bad? Wait till you hear this one! No thank you about the anvil! Really! He's been yelling at me since Sirius Black's Day Care Center! Thanks, again.
Visualpurple: It's okay because you reviewed anyway you get an anvil also! And I'm telling you, I'm glad those were your favorite quotes, because those were the one's that gave me the most trouble coming up with. Anyway, aim good. My audience members can be mean. Bye, bye!
