The Sins of the Fathers
Walking around I hear the earth seeking relief
I'm trying to find a reason to live
But the mindless clutter my path
Oh theses thorns in my side
I know I have something free
I have something so alive
I think they shoot 'cause they want it.
I feel forces all around me
Come on raise your head
Those who hide behind the shadows
Live with all that's dead.
Look at me…look at me
At least look at me when you shoot a bullet through my head
Look at me.
-Creed, Bullets
Harry Potter spent most of his mornings the same way: flying over the Quidditch field, mentally preparing himself for another day of school. School was more than just an institution of learning; it was full of danger, excitement, and the less than occasional battle. It seemed to Harry that the older he got, the more he fought with his enemies. The people who were his enemies had changed, though. Whereas Draco Malfoy had once been his biggest enemy, his lug of a sidekick Crabbe had now become enemy number one. Something had changed in Draco after the incarceration of his father, and oddly enough it was for the better. Harry and Draco were in the process of creating a friendship, tentative as it was at the current moment.
As he flew, Harry thought about the situation that had led up to his friendship with Draco. As he, Hermione, and Ron boarded the train, Draco had approached Harry cautiously and quietly asked, "Can I possibly sit with you?" Harry, Hermione and Ron glanced at each other with surprise; they had never heard Draco ask anything with such humility before. Harry looked Draco in the eye, and saw only regret and sadness there. "Sure, Draco," said Harry. Then Draco did something Harry had never seen before: he smiled. Not his usual cruel and sardonic smiles, but a genuine, happy smile.
"Thanks so much, guys!" he said. "Crabbe and Goyle hate me now that…" He trailed off, looking at the floor. "Well," he said, "it doesn't matter…it's just me trying to make up for the sins of my father, that's all."
Hermione and Ron, surprising as it was to Harry, had quickly accepted Draco into their group. They must have seen the same things in Draco that Harry had seen in him, and realized that he had actually changed, somehow became a good person during the summer. They didn't trust him completely, but nobody expected them to, not even Draco. Too much harm had been done for that. They did trust him most of the time, though, and they always treated him with respect.
Harry was flying up and down the length of the Quidditch field, as he did every morning. He looked at his watch, and realized that he had spent quite a bit of time thinking about the past. He began to spiral downward in slow circles, preparing to land. He landed softly, dismounted his broom, and headed for the showers.
Draco spent most of his mornings the same way: watching Harry Potter fly around the Quidditch field. He loved to watch Harry fly; he was precise, graceful, and skilled. Draco secretly wished that he could fly like Harry, like he was born to fly a broom…not that he would ever admit that to anybody, including Harry.
It still astonished Draco that Harry and the rest of his Gryffindor clique had accepted him. And it astonished himself even more that he let himself be accepted. Granted, the summer had been long and horrible, with his father being arrested and his fathers' fellow Death Eaters trying to recruit him…
He quickly shook off the thoughts of the summer. He was safe, at Hogwarts, and had true friends for the first time in his life. He knew that Ron and Hermione did not completely trust him yet, but he also knew that in time they might. Harry, it seemed, did completely trust him. He partnered with him in Potions, Charms, and Dueling Club. He also told Draco things that were personal, like his feelings about the death of his parents.
Draco saw Harry slowly spiraling down, landing, and heading to the showers. He stood up, stretched, yawned, and headed back into the school.
Harry looked behind him, and was startled by what he saw. Was that Draco Malfoy walking toward the school from the Quidditch pitch? And then Harry got his second shock of the morning…he felt a tightening below the belt at the sight of Draco Malfoy.
Draco looked back toward the Quidditch field, and saw Harry walking. And then he received a shock…he felt a tightening below the belt at the sight of Harry Potter.
So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters.
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours; we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters.
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
Metallica, Nothing Else Matters
Harry exited the showers and walked towards the school, heading toward the Great Hall to join his friends for breakfast. He kept thinking about Draco. Was that Draco he had seen walking from the Quidditch field…or did he just see it because he wanted to?
He could no longer stop his mind from realizing that he did like Draco. Not just as a friend, which would have been pushing it last year, but now as something more. Harry knew that his friendship with Draco had gone from tentative to something stronger. He didn't know why, but he trusted Draco, even after all that had happened between them. Draco had really changed; become a good person who Harry would trust his life with. No situation of that magnitude had yet occurred, but Harry knew that his track record at Hogwarts said that such a situation could easily occur.
There was only now the concern about what such feelings would do to their friendship. Did Draco feel the same way about Harry? What would happen if he did? Or if he didn't?
Harry pushed these thoughts away as he entered the Great Hall and joined Ron, Hermione and Draco at their table. "Good morning, Harry," said Hermione cheerfully. "How was your flying today?"
"Good, good" replied Harry, sitting down. "Nothing out of the ordinary today, thank God." "Yeah, right," the voice in his head said. "Nothing out of the ordinary…just thinking about how much I want to screw the brains out of my former enemy, nothing new."
"Uh, Harry?" asked Ron. "Are you in there? You seem a little out of it this morning."
"What? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about the Potions scroll I have to write for tomorrow. The effects of Polyjuice Potion when incorrectly used? This'll be a cinch!" Ron and Harry looked at Hermione, who blushed and began to stare at her eggs.
"Does breakfast look okay to you? I think these eggs may be a little old," said Hermione, standing up. "I'm going to go bring these into the kitchen and see what the house-elves think." With that, she picked up her plate and quickly walked out of the Great Hall.
Draco looked confusedly at Ron and Harry. "Uh, what was that about?"
Harry and Ron began to laugh. Harry clarified for Draco: "Back in the second year, Hermione was using Polyjuice Potion to try and become Millicent Bullstrode. There was a small accident, and Hermione wound up becoming Millicent's cat…except the transfiguration wasn't complete. There was quite a mess there."
Draco stared at Harry. "And just why was Hermione using Polyjuice Potion to become Millicent Bullstrode?"
"Because we were all using Polyjuice Potion to try to become members of the Slytherin House so that we could find out if you were the Heir of Slytherin and opened the Chamber of Secrets," said Ron quietly. He looked up at Draco, and his face was flushed bright red.
"Oh my God! That's a laugh!" howled Draco, laughing louder than they had ever heard him laugh, "Me, the Heir of Slytherin? I would've loved that!"
"So…you're not mad?" asked Ron, looking ashamed.
"Mad? No. We all made our mistakes back then. Look at all the horrible things I did to you! I've forgiven you for what I know you did, and the things that I don't know you did. I was a slimy git, and I don't blame you for ANYTHING you might have done to me." Draco was dead serious now, looking Harry and Ron in the eye. "I really am sorry for all the shit I pulled on you. I hope that you can forgive me someday."
Harry resisted the urge to hug Draco. He settled for patting him on the shoulder. "Draco, you know I forgive you. You're a different person now. Shit happened, you were a bastard, but then you changed. That's what's important now, okay?"
"Draco, after hearing that speech, I have to say now that I forgive you too. Hearing that from you makes me trust you, makes me realize that you really have changed." Ron shook Draco's hand. "It takes a big man to do that, you know. I'm sure that when Hermione hears about this, she will feel the same way. Consider yourself fully trusted now."
Draco almost cried.
Bodies fill the fields I see
Hungry heroes end.
No one to play soldier now
No one to pretend.
Running blind through killing fields
Bred to kill them all.
Victim of what said should be
A servant 'till I fall.
Soldier boy, made of clay
Now an empty shell.
Twenty one, only son
But he served us well.
Bred to kill, not to care
Do just as we say
Finished here, greeting death,
He's yours to take away.
Metallica, Disposable Heroes
Draco sat in his room, holding his head in his hands. "What the hell is wrong with me," he thought. "What would Harry ever see in you? God, look at what you've done. And not just to him."
He heard a knock at his door. "Who is it?" he asked, trying to get a hold of himself.
"Professor Dumbledore," came the response. "May I come in?"
Draco was shocked; what would Professor Dumbledore want with him? "Uh, yeah. Hold on a second." He surveyed his room, found it to be neat, and then went to the door and undid the locking charm. "Come on in" he said to the headmaster.
Dumbledore walked in and sat down on a chair. "Draco," he said, "I have seen a change in you. You are now friends with Harry Potter and his clique. You no longer terrorize the younger students, and you are actually volunteering to help them with Potions. May I ask what brought about this change in you?"
Draco took a deep breath. He had been thinking about these things himself, and he knew what it was that had caused these changes. "Professor, it's a long story…I am perfectly willing to tell it, if you have the time to listen.
Dumbledore met his gaze. "Of course, Draco."
He began. "When I was a child, my father was always very strict with me. It was known that I had been born merely to be a servant of Voldemort's, to follow my fathers' footsteps in becoming a Death Eater. Even after Voldemort's fall, my father still treated me as a Death Eater in the making. I rarely had time to play with my friends; every spare second was spent training me in the Dark Arts, dueling, and being generally nasty. I hated my father then, and I continued to hate him. As I grew older, my tasks became harder. I was trained on how to use all of the Unforgivable Curses; I was made to put them on dogs, cats, spiders…any animal. I even mastered the Killing Curse by the age of ten. I was the perfect child for my father, doing all that he asked. And then I began my time at Hogwarts. I figured that while I was here, my father might lay off me. He knew that I needed to study, and socialize with the other students. But he just kept on telling me, "Voldemort will return soon, and you must be prepared, you must be ready to be his servant, etc. I knew that there would be hell to pay if I didn't do as my father asked, I did it. I was nasty to the other students. I spent all of my free time training. And then Voldemort returned."
Draco took a deep breath, and continued. "It was Voldemort's main goal to have Harry Potter killed; therefore, it was also my father's main goal. My father wanted me to kill Harry, but Voldemort stopped him. Voldemort wanted to kill Harry himself. So my father told me to do whatever possible to see to it that Voldemort achieved his goal. There really was nothing I could do, though. So I continued to be nasty, paying no mind to the fact that the boy would die. But Harry did something spectacular: he defeated Voldemort for a second time. And then a third time, and a fourth, and so on."
He coughed, and then completed his story. "Then last year, my father was caught in the Department of Mysteries, and was put in Azkaban. At first, I blamed Harry for my father's incarceration, and did horrible things to him. But then I realized that it wasn't Harry's fault, and even if it was, I hated my father anyway. So this year on the train, I decided to make peace with Harry and his friends, even if they still continued to hate me. Surprisingly, they didn't hate me; they welcomed me into their group. It was then that I decided to change what I was; to make myself who I wanted to be, and release myself from the shackles of my father, and to create my own Malfoy legacy. That is my story."
Dumbledore sat quietly for a minute, and Draco began to worry about what he would say. Were the admissions of using the Unforgivable Curses on animals enough to have him expelled, or sent to Azkaban with his father? Would Dumbledore forever hate him for blindly following his father and torturing the other students?
Then he began to speak. "Draco, how have the other Slytherin students been treating you this year, since your apparent change in character?"
Draco sighed. "Horribly, Professor. They treat me as if I'm a traitor. They…well, they treat me like I used to treat the other students."
Dumbledore thought about this for a moment. "Draco, I would like you to pack your things now. I would like to transfer you to the Gryffindor dormitories. You will share a room with Harry and Ron from now on. Academically speaking, you will still be considered a Slytherin. However, I feel that you need to free yourself from your former friends, and bond with your former enemies.
Draco almost hugged Dumbledore. "Yes, sir. I appreciate this more than you can imagine."
Dumbledore looked knowingly at Draco. "I believe that I can imagine more than you think. Tell me now, is it true what Trawleny said about you and Harry?"
"What do you mean by that?" asked Draco, knowing full well what Dumbledore meant. God, did he have to tell him?
"I believe you know what I mean about you and Harry. But I will spell it out for you if that is what you request. Do you have feelings for Harry Potter that go beyond friendship?"
"Uh…to be totally honest with you, yes. But please, don't tell Harry that I said that. We are just now becoming close friends, and I really don't want to ruin that."
"As you wish, Mr. Malfoy. However, I do believe that you should tell Harry. You might be in for a surprise." With that and a wink, Dumbledore strode out of the room.
Draco sat in shock. Dumbledore knew? And thought that he should tell Harry? Did Dumbledore know something about Harry that Draco didn't? He shook his head. Good God, it could turn out to be a long night. Draco picked up a quill, some parchment, and began to write Harry a note asking him to meet him that night.
Whistling, Dumbledore walked down the hallway. "I have to remember to tell Flitch, Snape and Minerva to allow Draco and Harry to meet tonight. He got to his office, sat down, and began to write the letters.
Things will never be the same
Still I'm awfully glad I came
Resonating in the shape of things to come
Never waiting when I know there's only one
Messed it up but rest assured
No one ever thinks they're cured
Just a minute while I reinvent myself
Make it up and then I take it off the shelf
Over the laws of light
Over the moon by midnight
Let's do it all the time
Everyone wishing well, we go.
Red Hot Chili Peppers, Midnight
Harry had just finished a conversation with Dumbledore regarding his, Ron's, and Draco's move, when an owl arrived. Curious, he opened the letter. It read:
Dear Harry,
Professor Dumbledore spoke with me in my room today. It seems that you, Ron and me will be dorming together from now on. I am to move in tomorrow morning.
Dumbledore also said something to me, which I would like to talk to you about. Please meet me in Astronomy Tower 2 at midnight tonight.
Draco
Harry wondered what Draco could need to talk about that night. He ripped off a piece of parchment and replied:
Dear Draco,
I will be there. Be careful of Flitch and McGonagall!
Harry
He attached the letter to the owl, and began to pack his things. He could not believe it. He, Ron and Draco in the same room! It would be really great…unless he could not control his feelings toward Draco. He shook his head. "Get a grip on yourself, Harry! You'll be fine. You have been controlling yourself for this long, and there have been many opportunities to do otherwise. Just breathe, dammit!"
Ron entered the dormitory with a big smile on his face. "Did Dumbledore talk to you yet? You, Draco and me get our own dorm room! This'll be awesome! Now we won't have to worry about other people hearing when we sneak Hermione into our room!"
Harry's smile matched Ron's. "Yeah, this'll be awesome! I mean, will you be able to live with Draco, though?"
Ron replied immediately with "It won't be a problem, Harry. As I said at breakfast, I trust Draco now. Hell, it'll be fun living with him. He really is a good guy now, Harry. I'm glad that we decided to give him a chance."
Harry hugged Ron. "I'm so glad that this will work out." He then looked at his watch. "Speaking of Draco, I have to meet him in ten minutes. I should be back soon, okay?"
"No prob, Harry. If not, I'll see you in the morning. We get to miss Divination to move our stuff, remember?"
"Yeah, how could I forget? I'll see ya later!" Harry grabbed his Invisibility Cloak, and strode out of the room.
Draco was pacing around the astronomy tower. "Shit, Draco, this was a bad fucking idea. What the fuck are you going to say to him, you stupid git? 'Hey, Harry, I just wanted to tell you that I want your body in my bed, I think that I may be in love with you?' Oh boy, this is gonna be harder than I though."
Harry entered the Astronomy Tower. He saw Draco silhouetted in the moonlight, and his heart began to beat faster. "Great, Potter, fucking great. Alone with the sexiest man in the world, the one that you might love, in the fucking astronomy tower, the snogging capitol of the fucking school. Great!"
Harry cleared his throat, and Draco whirled around. "Harry, good to see you," he said.
"Good to see you too, Draco," replied Harry. "So…what can I do for you?"
Draco began to sweat. "God, this is gonna be harder than I thought. Harry, you might want to sit down for this one."
Puzzled, Harry sat down on the floor. What could Draco want to tell him?
Draco resumed pacing. "Okay Harry. Once I start, could you just let me finish? This is really hard to say, and I have to say it all at once."
"No problem, Draco. Look, why don't you sit down? Relax, okay?"
Draco looked at Harry, and his heart burst. He sighed, sat down, and began. "Dumbledore came to talk to me today about why I have changed so much since last year. I told him about what happened with my father this summer, and then about what happened with us on the train. And then he asked me about my feelings for you. He asked me if I liked you as more than a friend, and my answer…was yes. I didn't want to tell you because I was worried it might ruin our friendship. But Dumbledore told me that I should tell you, and so here we are."
Harry's heart stopped. Draco liked him too? He wanted to be more than friends? Harry found that he didn't know what to say, so he just followed his instincts.
He leaned over, and began to kiss Draco. Draco gasped, and then began to kiss Harry back. They leaned into each other, their kiss deepening. Harry lay back, with Draco following him. Draco put his hand behind Harry's head, continuing to kiss him. Then, he suddenly stopped. "Harry…does this mean you like me too?"
Harry smiled gently, and said, "Yes, Draco. This means I like you too." Draco straddled Harry, and then slipped his hand under the other boys' shirt. He felt Harry's stomach muscles, toned from many years of Quidditch playing. Harry tilted his head up and claimed Draco's lips once again with his own. They resumed kissing once again. Harry unbuttoned Draco's shirt, and began to run his hand along Draco's back. God was he sexy! He was all feline muscles and smooth skin. He smelled like rain and sweat and sex.
They continued snogging in such a manner until Draco said, "Harry? Look, I don't know your limits, and I don't want to take this too fast. I really like you, but I want both of us to get used to the idea of…this."
"I understand, Draco. I agree with you. But can we continue this for a little while? I've been dreaming about this for a long time, and I don't want it to stop." Harry's green eyes looked into Draco's gray ones, and soon enough they continued to kiss like two lovers who had lost each other, but had found the other once again.
