"You triggered it. It is called flashback."

"How? By touching him?"

Satoshi shook his head. "No. By holding him down. Think about it, Dark."

Dark blinked.

"You took his wrists."

Dark blinked again.

"You held them above his head."

Dark's eyes widened as realization slowly crept in. "Oh no..."

"You pinned him down... immobilized him. Your words may have been the last straw – and then, wham."

Dark ran a hand over his face, shuddering. He looked like he was about to be sick and Satoshi felt the same.

"I knew," he whispered roughly, "and yet I..."

"It's not unusual when it comes to victims of violence or rape, especially when it happens over a prolonged time."

Dark's head shot up at that. He knew as well as Satoshi what Krad's past had been like, what those Tamers had been like... he knew about the physical aspect of the abuse...

Sad blue eyes met the wide violet ones. "It doesn't always have to be physical, Dark. To be stripped of one's own will, to be a toy for someone's moods, the own life depending on someone else's temper, experience pain and torture, being totally helpless, starting to hate yourself for it... I'd say it's as bad. Abuse is abuse."

Dark watched Satoshi closely, a certain suspicion rose he didn't really wanted to put into words. And yet ...

"Satoshi?"

A smirk.

"Don't worry. Not a first hand experience. Father might have been a cold-hearted bastard, but he never went that far. Someone I know. But that's not important at the moment."

"No... but what can I do now, Satoshi? I... hurt him, again, and this time it was really bad. I should have known better."

"Yes, you should. But it happened, and I say it was inevitable since Krad has started to acknowledge his past, since he has started to liveand love."

"Why was it inevitable?"

"As I said, flashbacks aren't uncommon among survivors. Something triggers it; a sound, a smell, a word, whatever, and at the same moment the survivor is back in the position. And he reacts to that, not the actual situation. Partners of survivors have to face a long and windy road when they want to help them, and sometimes the partners can't deal with it."

Dark sat stunned by Satoshi's words.

"How do you know all this?"

Another smirk that was almost a smile. "Psychology degree. I can recommend a book, it's called "Allies in Healing". It can help you, if you want, especially how to treat Krad with future episodes."

Dark swallowed. "Future... you think this will happen again?"

"I bet it happened before, and he just hid it better. And yes, it will happen again. For nowDark, you have to talk to him. Be there for him, but don't corner him. Let him take the lead, don't push. I'm fairly certain he's as shocked about his own reaction as you are. He's still learning how to deal with emotions, especially this kind, especially his. He might not tell you, but he needs your help."

Dark let his head sink between his shoulders. "I'm not sure I can be of help... I... I have to learn myself."

"Then learn together, Dark. Besides, Daisuke and I are here for you two as well. All you have to do is say a word."

"Satoshi? Thank you."

Satoshi smiled. "You're welcome."

Dark closed his eyes, seeming so very small and defeated. "If... if you can talk to him... I'd like to see him, Satoshi. Tell him, okay? I'm not angry."

Satoshi nodded, feeling a little shiver from the tightly curled ball inside. Krad had listened. He had no idea how long or how intently, but he had listened. Reaching out, gently caressing the hurt being, he whispered,

:Don't hide from him, Krad. You need him just as much as he needs you:

The answer was a faint ripple.

"Go and talk to him," he said out loud, addressing Dark.

The kaitou looked dubious, but he rose nevertheless.

"Dai's probably sleeping, so don't disturb him. He's got exams coming up," Satoshi added.

"I won't. Thanks."

And with that Satoshi was alone in the messed-up room. He sighed and shook his head, heading over to the library to find a comfortable couch chair to weather whatever possible storm was coming.

Inside him, Krad was still trembling with relived memories and Satoshi curled around him, hugging him gently.
:Don't let him wait, Krad. Don't hide:

There was no answer, but at least Krad wasn't pulling away.

° ° °

Dark slowly entered the realm, the only place he shared with Krad when they weren't corporeal, and looked around. It looked like it always did. Krad was nowhere to be seen and he hadn't actually expected him to show up, at least not now. He knew Satoshi would try and convince him to come here, but Dark wasn't so sure Krad was in any mood to confront him.

Making himself as comfortable as he could, Dark sat down. He would wait for Krad, as long as it would take, and that, he mused, might be a long time.

So Dark waited.

And waited.

There was no change in the scenery, no setting sun, no breeze, no birds passing in the sky. It was a landscape made up by a mind he had come to understand more and more, by a man he loved and not hated, by someone who had lived in a world of abuse and was just now learning how to walk again.

And finally Dark decided to just talk, not really sure if Krad was able to hear him, but knowing that the demon could if he only wanted to.

"Krad, I... I'm sorry for what I did."

His voice was soft, wavering a little as memories flashed, and he rubbed his bruised chest. Had Krad wanted to kill, he would be a smear against the wall. As it was he was only bruised, his ego slightly battered, and his thoughts turmoiled.

"I should have known better," Dark continued, staring at the ground between his feet. "But I simply forgot; in that moment I forgot everything. I know it must sound funny, but I could only think of you. I wanted you to feel good, feel the pleasure I wanted to give... I didn't think... I just didn't..."

And that was the whole problem with him, Dark realized. He never thought. At least not when his mind was overpowered by whatever instinct was driving him. He knew Krad's past, knew of the exorcisms and the chains holding him down, hurting him, controlling him. Still, he had chained him with his own hands, had forced him into a submissive position, with an aggressor towering over him.

Shit!

"Satoshi explained this flashback-thing to me," he said after a moment. "I can't say I completely understand it right now, but I want to... I want you, Krad, all of you. If I could I would make you forget, but... wouldn't that be the easy way out? I don't know. All I know is that for almost three hundred years we tried to kill each other, and that has changed, too. I changed, and so did you, and, Krad, I want... I want to be at your side, want to have you at mine. I want us to learn how to live and love together, and I want to be there for you when... ever."

Dark knew he was rambling but he knew as well that this might very well be a one-time chance, a last chance, that he had to find the right words now, or he might lose. He would lose Krad. A few years ago that would have made him laugh. Back then he had wanted to get rid of the angelic demon as badly as every Niwa in every generation that had encountered him. Now... now they formed a balance. All of them. Daisuke and Satoshi included.

A faint difference in the atmosphere told him he was no longer alone in their realm, that Krad had appeared but didn't approach. He didn't turn to look for the demon.

"I want us to be together, to be a unity again, but of another kind. I can't forget what I felt when I saw Satoshi's Unity, and what I said back then counts. I'm so sorry to have hurt you that way, and I'll try my best not to do it anymore. I just... forgot to switch on my brain, as usual." He smiled darkly. "Not that I can promise that won't happen again, but I... I'd never hurt you on purpose, Krad. Never..."

"They were tied around my wrists," a soft voice came from behind, and Dark looked up, but he didn't turn.

Krad...

He felt the other's presence, the sharp radiance of his magic, still boiling, still spiked by his emotions. Dark remained still, tensing slightly.

"And my forearms," Krad whispered roughly. "They were forcing my wings out from under me, spreading them. The chains... around my throat, my waist, my ankles... they would burn when I fought them. They were... pinning me down, holding me in place."

The voice grew more ragged with each recollected memory and Dark felt himself tremble with the need to embrace the wounded soul, soothe him, make it all go away, though that particular wish was not in his power to fulfill.

Krad appeared at his side, and a quick glance showed Dark that his lover was staring off into space. He was dressed in the white outfit he had adopted after returning from the Black Wings, and it told Dark more than anything how emotionally unsettled he was. Krad had changed his style, had taken to wearing different colors, so returning to white was.. unsettling. His heart clenched, but he kept silent. This wasn't for him.

"I couldn't move, and I couldn't sleep. One day, I fought."

Dark shuddered at the almost emotionless tone of voice, trying not to imagine what the chains must have done to the demon.

"They singed my flesh, burned my wings and... they tightened, breaking my bones. I couldn't even scream, because I didn't have any air left, they were strangling me, too." The voice was flat, delivering a speech that showed little of what was raging inside the tortured being.

Krad sank down beside him, still staring off.

"It was the only time I slept. I fell unconscious because of the damage."

Dark shuddered again, the entire meaning of his thoughtless action slamming down on him. Ohgodohgodohgod...

He was such a damn idiot!

Krad turned and huge, golden eyes looked at him seriously.

"When you... held me, it... suddenly hurt. Burned. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move..."

"Krad..." he tried, voice laced with desperation.

"Shhh," the blond demon quieted him. "I know you didn't mean it."

"What was done to you during the last centuries..."

"Wasn't my fault, nor was it yours. I know that, too. And I refuse to stay a victim, Dark. I have a life now, and... as scary it may be for me, I want to live it, want to find a new meaning for my existenceother than to kill you, that is."

"Satoshi called you a survivor."

Krad blinked. "Survivor? I never pictured me as such..."

"Maybe we should talk about that later," Dark offered hopefully.

He wanted to help. Badly.

"Yes, maybe." Krad's expression changed when Dark shifted a little uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, too. Did I hurt you?"

"Not too badly. But I think Satoshi's a little disgruntled about the renovations he'll have to do." A light smile teased at Dark's lips, and he hoped his lover would react.

He did. Krad chuckled.

"I'll take care of that."

"How ‘bout we do it together?"

"Deal."

Krad was silent for a few minutes.

"Dark... you know... if you hadn't sealed us back into the Black Wings, Satoshi would have died."

Huh? Where was that coming from? All of a sudden, too!

"I should have said it before.. I never did. Thank you..." It wasn't much more than a whisper, but Dark heard it. "Thank you for giving me this life, Dark. I owe you this second chance just as much as I owe it to Satoshi."

"Krad..."

"No..." Krad held up a hand. "Don't. Just accept it, okay?"

"Okay."

"Krad? I would... I'd really like to touch you now. May I?"

Golden eyes widened in surprise. "You never asked before," Krad stated levelly.

Dark held the inhuman gaze. "Maybe I should have. May I?"

"No. I don't want you to touch me."

Dark's face fell and he nodded sadly, trying not to show his disappointment. Still, it stabbed into him, hurting.

"I want to touch you."

A whisper, accompanied by two gentle fingers brushing over his jaw, turning his head toward the golden eyed demon. Dark didn't have time to be surprised as lips brushed over his in an infinitely tender caress. Krad sneaked one arm around his shoulders, and he allowed himself to be pulled against his lover's chest. Gentle fingers combed through his hair as Krad leaned back, cradling him in his embrace, holding him close. Dark closed his eyes, breathing in the other man's scent, listening to the soothing heartbeat. He laid a hand on Krad's chest questioningly and, as it wasn't denied, let it slip under his shirt, not to arouse, just to feel his lover's warmth and closeness.

"I thought I'd lost you..." he sighed, now content.

The very thought of being alone, without Krad, scared him. Within months the hatred of centuries had been turned into love, into need, and the bond between them. Two sides of the same art work. Not so very different from each other, not good, not evil. Just... them.

"We are one."

"Yes. There's that. Uh... shouldn't I be the one comforting you?"

"You can do it next time."

Dark made a soft sound. "You think there will be a next time?"

"Knowing youyes."

"Thanks for that vote of confidence."

Krad chuckled and Dark felt a soft kiss placed on his temple.

"You're an idiot, Dark Mousy."

"I know," Dark sighed. "How come you always forgive me?"

"Because..."

There was a sudden hesitation in Krad's voice, and Dark looked up, feeling those inhuman, intense eyes resting on him.

"I... I think it's because... I love you."

Three words. Uttered with so much wonder in his voice, Dark couldn't do anything but stare at Krad, his former Nemesis, arch enemy, deathly rival.

"Krad... I know that I love you."

The kiss sealed their new found unity, and when Dark sank back onto Krad's chest, strong arms securely tightening around him, he was utterly at a loss for words.

There was nothing to be said for now.

tbc...