Bending the Rules

"They have GOT to get some blinds in here," Ryan complained, shielding his eyes from the brightness using his arm. Something registered. Removing his arm he squinted across the room and found Seth sitting in the now famous Cohen family chair. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Good morning to you too," Seth acknowledged, scribbling something on a tablet. "Grumpy in the morning…"

"Seth, what are you doing?"

"I'm making the Ryan Atwood Anti-Newport checklist." Off Ryan's less than appreciative look, "I'm just making little notes about…you. Well, your methods really. See look…" Seth offered relocating and seating himself on the edge of Ryan's bed.

"Get off my bed."

"Yeah just a second, you might find this interesting…"

"Get…off my bed!"

"Yeah I heard you the first time, let me just show you…"

His explanation was curtailed when Ryan put both feet on Seth's hip and shoved with all his might sending him sprawling onto the floor. Crawling over to his pen Seth plopped himself down on the floor Indian style and looked at Ryan in shock. Scratching out previous information on his writing table, he made a new note, "Let's make that…violent…in the morning."

"I warned you."

"That wasn't a warning Ryan, that was a request. 'Get off my bed'…that's like…'Pass the butter'. Now had you said, 'Get off my bed or I'll catapult you onto the patio' then I would have understood, I definitely would have moved."

Ryan sat up shaking his head at Seth.

"So, are you really staying this time?"

Sighing, "Maybe. I suppose asking you for a cigarette is out of the question."

"What do you mean maybe? And didn't you promise my Mom that you'd quit smoking?" Seth asked watching Ryan ravage through his things looking for a stray cigarette.

"I said maybe. And I didn't promise you're mom I'd quit, I promised her I'd try."

"So looking for a cigarette on your second morning back is trying?"

Throwing his backpack on the floor, Ryan turned and glared over his shoulder at Seth. "Sometimes just one cigarette can keep me from throwing someone across the room."

Immediately, Seth scribbled more onto his note pad. Mumbling under his breath, "Cigarettes calm…the beast…"

Frowning at Seth, "Is your Mom home?"

"Ah, no. She's at work. Why?"

"Good. Time to go treasure hunting," Ryan replied striding right past Seth and out the pool house doors.

"Ryan wait…hunting for what?" Seth inquired, chasing after him.

"Where's your Mom's room?"

"What? Why do you want to know that?"

"Because I've never been up here Seth. Which one is her room?" Stumbling across it himself, Ryan paused in the doorway. "Is this it?"

"Yeah. Look Ryan, I don't know what you're doing but this feels like a bad idea. Can we just go back to the kitchen now?"

"We're looking for my cigarettes. Besides, you're the one that wanted an adventure…live a little," Ryan provoked, flicking his eyebrows at Seth.

"Ryan this mission is doomed," Seth warned following Ryan into the room. "My Mom hates cigarettes with a passion. There's no way she saved them. I'm telling you, they're gone."

"I thought you told me on the pier that you're not a Mama's boy."

"Dude I'm not!"

"Then stop acting like one," Ryan instructed, rummaging through obvious places.

"Dude! That's my Mom's underwear drawer! Come on man! Get out of there!"

Sighing, "I'm not interested in underwear…Seth…I'm interested in cigarettes." He stopped searching the night table and picked up a photo of a younger Seth and an older woman. "Who are you sitting with here?"

"Oh that's my Gram. She died from cancer a few years back. You would have liked her. She was always handing out money."

"I like her already."

"What about your grandparents?"

"Haven't seen 'em since I was eight. My Grandma used to always give me gum."

"Well, that's cool…right?"

"Yeah sure…I guess so. It is when you're only eight."

"Boys, what are you doing in here?" Kirsten's voice startled them both. Ryan gently set the photo down and threw a quick warning look at Seth.

"Mom…Um…I thought you went to work?"

"I did. I forgot my briefcase," she explained walking over to the desk. Pausing before the table, "So, what did you say you're doing in here?" she asked narrowing her eyes at both boys.

Panicked, Seth set his adventure into overdrive. "Us? Nothing. Nothing at all. Well, a tour really. Ryan said he's never seen the second floor so I was just, um, showing him around a bit."

Ryan stood silent and Kirsten locked her gaze on him. "Is that the truth?" She watched as Ryan was about to agree with Seth and jump on the whole 'tour' band wagon, but she interrupted him. "The truth…Ryan."

Weighing his options, he bit his lip and stole a glance at Seth who was pretty much sweating bullets.

"I was just…I need a cigarette."

"Ryan, you know the rules in this house."

"I know, unfortunately the house doesn't understand how hard it is to quit cold turkey. Look, I didn't have any all day yesterday and all last night…and this morning I threw Seth off my bed. Literally."

Kirsten changed her look to Seth who was acknowledging that truth by rapidly shaking his head up and down. "Yeah, he's a little bit…on edge."

"I'm not asking you for the whole pack, just gimme one. C'mon don't make me go out and get my own. You know I can…and I will if I have to. I'm trying and I told you the truth. Just one…"

Sighing slowly, Kirsten drummed her fingers on top of her briefcase. "Okay Ryan…just one. Go sit on the patio, I'll bring it to you."

"You're actually going to let him have one of those death sticks?"

"Seth, I'm the parent. Let me handle this."

"Well geez if you're in the giving mood, can I have a car?"

"Ah…no. Patio. Now. Go."

Nodding, Ryan led the way to the hallway.

"Ryan, why is she sending us to the patio?"

"Because she doesn't want me to know where she's stashed 'em."

Kirsten smiled. She knew he had just conned her…again. But, he did tell the truth this time. That's a start. She knew putting her foot down and refusing to move it would only end in a backlash on Ryan's part. Lord knows he wasn't afraid to break the rules and she'd rather sacrifice one cigarette to gain some ground with him than have him running out to steal a whole new pack. She had no doubt he would have done it had she said no. Handling Ryan and breaking his old habits would require some compromising, by everyone. There was a time when she smoked, a long, long time ago. She new it wasn't easy to quit. She also remembered just how cranky she got when that nicotine urge was there. Ryan was already a challenge. There was no point in making it more difficult. As twisted as this was, she knew this was the right thing to do…this time…

Plunking himself down on a patio chair, "I can't believe you conned her into giving you a cigarette. That's amazing!" Seth said, astonished at Ryan's accomplishment. "I'll have you know, that's not my Mother. My Mother…would never do that."

Ryan smiled slyly, "She's just trying to keep me sedated."

"Sedated?"

Nodding, "She's smarter than I originally gave her credit for. She knows one cigarette will make me happy…for now. She also knows if she says no I'll run out and steal a whole pack, now I've got lots of them."

"But…you could still run out and steal a pack…"

"You learn fast Seth Cohen."

"But, why would you do that? She gave you what you wanted."

"I'm no altar boy Seth."

"Okay Ryan, here you go. Please do not extinguish this on my patio. Use this can."

Standing up, Ryan put the cigarette in his mouth. With his hand shielding the lighter from the ocean breeze, he got it lit. Turning to face the ocean, he took a drag and held it. Closing his eyes he let the nicotine in. Kirsten was getting nervous at the length of time he was holding his breath, holding the smoke in.

"Ryan?"

Opening his eyes, he let the smoke slowly pour from his mouth. Turning to look at Kirsten he took another hit and then cupped the cigarette into his hand to shelter it from the breeze, protecting it from burning too quickly. He only had one, he had to make it last.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied rather matter-of-factly.

"That's it Ryan, we agreed on one. Right? That means no shopping for more in your free time. Got it?"

Turning his attention back to the ocean, he shook his head in frustration. Kirsten, just like Sandy, was proving to be on step ahead of his moves at all times.

"I mean it Ryan."

"Yeah I got it!" he rattled off, pissed off.

"Okay…good," she acknowledged a bit flustered by his reaction. "So, you guys are hanging around the house today. For the record, nothing you might be looking for is hidden in places you're gonna look. They aren't even in my bedroom. And…if you do happen to come across them, I know how many of everything there is so I'll know you found them. So be good boys and find something else to do today."

Ryan turned his eyes to the side, toward Kirsten. If looks could kill, she would have been lying flat on the patio by now.

"Love you both too," Kirsten mocked, wrinkling her nose at the boys. "Bye."

Bored out of their minds after only an hour, Seth tried to spring a plan, any plan, into action.

"So, do you like comics? The new ones are out today."

"We're not supposed to leave," Ryan sighed heavily with disgust.

"Dude come on! Barely an hour ago you told me you're no altar boy, and now just because Mommy said, "Behave boys! Stay in the yard!' You're suddenly okay with that?"

A mischievous twinkle glistened in Ryan's eyes. "Well if you're willing to break that rule, let's see what you've got…"

"Oh I've got plenty!"

"Oh yeah? So you think you can bring it?"

"Bring it? Ryan I already brought it! I'm just waiting for you to catch up buddy!"

Bursting out in laughter at Seth's attempt to 'bring it', Ryan stood up and crossed the room to his location. Getting in his face, "You better be able to back up that set of balls your showing. Otherwise you just got in way over your head." Giving the suddenly scared Seth an amused but intimidating look, "C'mon, let's go."

A short journey found them at the loading docks behind a local strip mall. Perfect timing found them watching a liquor distributor unloading a delivery to the convenient store. Ryan looked at Seth who was clearly having second thoughts and pushed Seth a little farther.

"Okay. We'll flip a coin. Heads goes to get our booze, tails gets to sit here and watch." Pulling change from his pocket to trigger the deal, Seth grabbed his arm before the coin hit the air.

"Ryan, wait wait wait…"

"Come on don't tell me you're chickening out already? We didn't even do anything. What happened to 'bringing it'?"

"I…I did…I brought it…I did. I just…forgot it at home, that's all." Seth stammered, his eyes pleading to be let off the hook.

"Fine. I'll get it." Dropping his bike in the bushes, he gave Seth a few instructions. "You do exactly as I say. If something goes wrong, get on your board and get the hell out of here. Don't call my name. Don't try to fix it. Go the hell home. If you don't follow my rules, when I do get back home, I'll beat the shit out of you. You understand me?"

Swallowing hard, "You're making me a little nervous Ryan."

"Good. You should be. You're about to be an accessory to a crime," Ryan stated rather pointedly before starting his walk towards the delivery truck.

Seth's mouth dropped open. A crime! He wasn't considering this a crime, just an adventure! "Oh my God I'm going to jail! My parents are going to kill me and then Ryan is going to take my face off! We're so caught! Oh my God!"

Ryan stopped walking long enough to turn and look at Seth. Seth got his point. Panic silently or else. Approaching the truck, Ryan nodded politely at the delivery man pushing a dolly full of crates of booze into the back door of the store as if his casual stroll was just allowing him to cut through the back lot. Once Ryan passed the side of the truck he bent down to look underneath it. After the wheels of the dolly and the man's feet disappeared inside the door to the store, Ryan bolted to the back of the open truck and in one leap was inside with the crates of alcohol. Using the deliveryman's own box cutter knife, he opened a box towards the back, took a bottle and hid it in his jacket. Cautiously surveying the store's doorway from the back of the truck, Ryan carefully held onto the bottle within his jacket and jumped down. Nonchalantly he walked back to Seth as if he had just purchased a pack of chewing gum.

"Ryan I don't believe you just did that! You just stole something in front of me!"

"Yeah what's you're point? Hold this," Ryan asked passing the bottle to Seth and picking up his bike.

"What do you mean hold this? I guess…I guess I didn't think you'd go through with it."

"You didn't think I'd go through with it? Gimme that…" Hiding the bottle back in his jacket Ryan flashed two cigarettes. Seth went completely speechless. "He left his pack sitting on one of the boxes in there. Let's get one thing straight about me…if I say I'm gonna do something, there should be no doubt in your mind that I'm gonna back it up. Make sure you add that to your little tablet."

Buried up to her eyeballs in files, Kirsten was relived when her phone rang and offered her a break from staring at numbers.

"Sandy, hi! I thought you were going to be in court all day is everything okay?"

"Yeah it's fine. My last two clients were no shows. Their bondsmen are going to have a field day. How's your day?"

"Oh don't ask. I'm being swallowed up by budget reports. I can't wait to go home."

"Hey speaking of home, have you talked to the boys today?"

"No, I haven't. Well, I take that back, I forgot my briefcase and had to go back home and caught them snooping around. But I haven't talked to them since then. Why?"

"What do you mean snooping around?"

Sighing, "Well they were both in my room and Ryan was standing by my bed table holding the photo of Seth and my Mom. I got him to admit that he was looking for his cigarettes."

"You're kidding me! He admitted that? You didn't give in, did you?"

"Sandy this kid is smart. We've really gotta be on our toes with him. He knew the right thing to do was admit what he was looking for and then he bargained for a single cigarette. In not so many words, he basically said, 'Give me one or I'll go out and get a new pack'. You and I both know he would have backed that up the second I left.

"But, why didn't you just say no?"

"Because rules mean nothing to this kid. That's going to take some time. Forcing him at this stage is only going to make him act out even more. That's not the way to gain ground with him."

"You really think he's trying?"

Laughing, "I think he's trying really hard to balance what he's supposed to do with what he wants…as long it he gets want he wants!"

"Bending the rules a bit. I guess it's better than breaking them left and right."

"Oh I promise you, he's going to try to bend them to almost the breaking point if he can. I have no doubt in my mind he's been all over the entire house by now."

"The house? Why?"

"At the very least, he's still looking for those cigarettes. I guess we'll see what we find when we get home."

Later that afternoon, back at the Cohen house, Seth stood across the kitchen from the bottle of booze, chewing his nails.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Oh nothing."

"Are you chickening out again?

"Who me? No!"

"Good. You're a little wet behind the ears so we'll start you out small," Ryan explained, filling a small juice glass.

"So, that's small huh?" Seth worried looking at the amount of booze Ryan was pouring into the glass.

"Yep. Anything bigger and you'll be drunk in ten minutes."

Seth pretended to be all for the drink, attempting in every way to bury the 'Mama's Boy' image Ryan had labeled him with. Gingerly taking his seat on a counter stool, he watched Ryan mix orange juice with the freshly stolen booze.

"And…what exactly are you concocting?"

"Screwdriver."

"That's a screwdriver?"

"Yep." Passing Seth his glass, Ryan raised his to his mouth and drank.

It looked simple. Ryan certainly made it look painless. Raising his own glass with a little more confidence than he should have, Seth poured some of the orange substance into his mouth and immediately his face contorted.

After forcing the mouthful down, "Oh my God what was that?" he coughed.

"Orange juice."

"Orange juice and what???"

"Vodka."

Still coughing, "You only put enough orange juice in there to turn it orange. This tastes like…like…"

"Vodka."

Still eyeballing Ryan and trying to figure out how he could simply swallow his drink as if it were Kool-aid, Seth decided this was a turning point.

"I'm going to drink it."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep." Taking another sip, Seth fought the urge to crinkle his face. "It's good."

Ryan stared at him and a Grinch-like smile formed on his face.

"It is. It's good."

"So why do you look like you're ready to puke then?"

Sighing flamboyantly, "Because I'm destined to be a Mama's Boy," Seth said allowing his head to hit the counter.

Ryan winced at the smacking sound. "Seth…Seth?"

"What?" he mumbled, his forehead still glued to the counter top.

"Alright here," Ryan sighed, pouring more orange juice into Seth's glass. "Try that."

With his most pathetic pout available, Seth raised his head and stared at his glass. "You put more OJ in there?"

"Yep."

Desperately wanting to show Ryan he could be cool with all of this, he took a healthy mouthful. "Hey that's not bad now," he boasted, taking another sip.

"Slow down Seth."

"No it's fine. It's mostly orange juice now."

"Seth that's hard liquor and you have no tolerance."

"I do so have tolerance," he hiccupped back. "Bring it!"

"No. I'm not challenging you to this. I'd bury you in a half hour."

"Ah so I'm right!"

"Right about what?"

"You not having any tolerance! Dude you came home drunk off your ass that one night!"

"Seth I had a ridiculous amount to drink that night. I earned that."

Slapping the counter, "I think you're full of it. I think you're talking tough because this is a weak area for you and you're afraid that I, the Mama's Boy, will actually out do you on this one!"

Holding back a laugh, "Seth, trust me. I can drink circles around you. Besides your parents will be home in a few hours and that won't be enough time for you to sober up. I'm not getting busted over your sorry ass being drunk."

"And now the truth comes out. You're afraid!"

"What is it with you people and this fear thing? I'm not afr…"

"You're afraid of the parents!"

Clucking his tongue against his teeth, "You're gonna regret this. I guarantee you'll never challenge me to drinks again. This will be worth getting in trouble over."