"Did someone ever tell you you're insatiable?"
"Not yet."
"You are an aggravating, irritating, beautiful, definitely hot and sexy man, and I love you," Dark whispered, seeking out those kissable lips again, before he pulled the blanket over their entwined bodies. "Thank you. For everything."
Krad purred something, already half asleep and snuggled close.
Damn yes, Dark thought, feeling the warm body press against his own, I do love you. And with that thought he drifted off into sleep himself.
° ° °
When Dark walked slowly into the kitchen the next morning Satoshi sat at the large table, face hidden behind the morning paper. The scent of freshly brewed coffee felt like heaven to Dark and he poured himself a mug, after murmuring a good morning'. Satoshi silently stretched out his hand, holding something that looked a lot like a piece of dark cloth... suspiciously like a torn piece of cloth.
"At least clean up after yourself," he murmured, and Dark actually felt himself blush.
"Did we... keep you awake?"
Dancing blue eyes appeared behind the paper. "Three guesses."
Dark groaned and slapped his face. "I'm sorry..."
"Don't... we found a way to pass the time. You were... inspiring."
"Sheesh... you two are together for how long?"
Satoshi shrugged. "At least we didn't need three hundred years to get each other. Where's your significant other, by the way?"
"Still asleep."
"You wore him out."
Dark carefully slid on a chair opposite Satoshi and grimaced involuntarily.
"Oh, I see. Forget my previous question." Satoshi smirked knowingly, shifting a little.
"Looks like you did have an interesting evening yourself."
"Sure did." Satoshi sipped at his coffee and frowned when he felt the kaitou's eyes still on him.
"Something I can help you with?"
Dark played with is mug. "Actually... yes."
"Hm?"
"Krad... yesterday he was... he was so intense... I don't know how to describe it. Don't get me wrong, it was incredible, really something. But for one split second... he scared me."
Satoshi frowned a little at the confession. "How so?"
Dark looked at the table top, face scrunched up, eyes reflecting a lot of emotions. He was silent for a while, then,
"I didn't know what to expect. He... I mean... we've been together before... but not like that. Not... we didn't sleep together. We touched and kissed and used our hands and mouths... But last night... I know he isn't Hel. I know that very well," Dark explained haltingly. "He's Krad... I love him... but for just a second it was as if... as if I was looking at the old Krad. That second he could have stabbed instead of kissed me and I wouldn't have been surprised. Sometimes I don't know how he'll react, and..."
"It scares you? Confuses you?" Satoshi asked quietly.
Dark nodded, and Satoshi put the newspaper aside. His eyes were serious behind the reading glasses and Dark found himself drawn into the cool depth.
"I think, in the past you knew how to handle Krad, you could understand his reaction because you understood his motives. Now you've seen an utterly different side of him, had to see that everything you thought of him was wrong." Satoshi smiled a little and Dark reflected that it wasn't unlike what Satoshi was going through, too. "You have to adapt. We all have to different degrees. Our image of what he is has changed dramatically. For each and every one of us it is different. I am his host; you are his lover. And Krad... after his latest flashback he has to regain his power, I assume. He needs to see that he's in control over his life, and if that means taking what he wants... I guess that was what he did?"
Dark nodded. "He didn't hurt me in any way, and I know he would have stopped, but..." He trailed off.
"What are you afraid of, Dark?" Satoshi wanted to know.
Violet eyes met blue ones. "I don't want to see him slip away again. He was close to... to madness then. I believe you know that better than anybody else."
Satoshi nodded. Oh yes, he knew; he remembered. He was the host and in that time of aggression and black rage, he had been victim to the emotional tidal waves. Krad had apologized, had sworn he would never hurt Satoshi intentionally, and Satoshi knew it. It was just something he had to live with. So much was unknown concerning the blond demon, so much was just now coming up.
"Dark, I have to admit that just looking into his eyes gives me the creeps sometimes," Hikari now said quietly. "I lived with his presence ever since I was a child. He was my nightmare, my inheritance, my secret horror. He tried to take me over numerous time, he tried to push me away, gain my body and soul. It's hard to just forget that within those months the two of you have been back. I know he's no longer what I remember from childhood, but that's logic warring against emotion."
Satoshi held the wide eyes as Dark listened, stunned by the confession.
"I fear him, Dark. But I also love him. He's mine, part of my soul, all of him. I know his past, but there are still areas he keeps locked away. I can sense his pain, his doubt, his need and his craving. We want and need each other, darkness included, horror, too. But-- this is something I have to overcome, because this is entirely my story. I do believe he has changed, and I do believe that with all that support he's receiving meanwhile he won't slip again. He's proving himself every day, and I trust him. Because at other times I look into his eyes I see something else entirely different. You know what I mean, don't you?"
Dark nodded. He treasured those looks directed at him, he noticed others lingering on Satoshi. Love and warmth, affection and need, tenderness... and an intimacy that went beyond mere lovers. Krad's possessive need of his host had transformed into this. And his hatred toward Dark had morphed into love.
"I see it, too."
Satoshi smiled. "Then where's your problem? Besides-- did you like what he did?"
Dark blushed, and Satoshi grinned.
"Figured. Dark..." He grew serious again. "Krad isn't evil, but he has a dark side, darker than any of ours could ever be, with a past I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. And he was mine for a long time. We'll work this out."
Dark nodded slowly.
"Now, go and feed your lover. He must be... starved," Satoshi ordered, blue eyes lighting up with a mischievous sparkle.
Dark grinned and quickly prepared a tray with coffee and a light breakfast for two. When he was about to leave Satoshi called for him.
"Dark? Have you ever been scared of or by the old Krad?"
Violet eyes regarded him for a long second. "He scared the hell out of me. And it nearly broke my heart."
Satoshi looked after the departing man, finishing his coffee, thoughtfully.
"You loved him all along, Dark," he mused quietly with no one else there to hear him.
° ° °
Dark slowly walked into the bedroom, trying not to wake Krad should he still be asleep. Standing in the doorframe he watched, simply enjoying the view. He liked looking at his lover, at the slender, angelic form. Krad was still sleeping, had rolled onto his stomach, his hands were clutching the pillow, one leg bent-- and the sheets had slid down his body, only covering the most intimate parts. He looked like the proverbial angel. The blond hair and fair skin, as well as the now hidden white wings helped with that image, though Krad was far from angelic most of the time.
Dark frowned-- something with this picture wasn't right.
Krad was shivering.
Dark carefully left the tray on the nightstand, kneeling beside his lover. Yes, Krad was shivering, and clutching the pillow, moaning something inaudibly.
Nightmare, Dark decided.
Before his outstretched hand could touch the other man Krad woke with a gasped
"Dark!"
Wide golden eyes looked for him, reflecting a torment that stabbed into the kaitou's very heart. His shoulder was grabbed almost frantically.
"Krad, what...?"
The feline eyes dilated, hectically scanning him, fingers brushing over his shoulder as if looking for something.
"No blood... thank god, no blood..." the demon whispered.
Dark slipped beside his lover under the blanket, wrapping his arms around the trembling, distraught form.
"Sshh, I'm here, safe and sound...," he soothed, running hands over the sweaty back until he felt Krad calm down.
"No blood," Krad whispered again, infinitely relieved but still clinging to him. "No blood. Never again. Never..."
"Wanna share?" Dark asked after a while.
Krad tensed a little, exhaling sharply. "Something I did..."
Dark waited as the voice trailed off and the inhuman eyes squeezed shut in remembered pain.
"Remember the Link Pin of Time?" Krad asked, voice whisper-soft.
"How could I forget?"
How could anyone of them forget? It had been the beginning of the end. It had been the first encounter with Krad that had resulted in such agony for both him and his then very young host.
"But that was long ago. History."
Their bad history.
Krad had taken the sword called the Link Pin of Time, had slashed it over his stomach and had stabbed his shoulder with it, pinning him to the ground-- and then he had started to twist the blade still embedded in his flesh, laughing madly at Dark's screams of pain, enjoying each and every one of them...
Dark pushed those memories away. They were old. They were out of a time that, while part of them, should remain in the past. History. Remembered, learned from, but not something to be lived with day after day.
"I... when I sleep... things come back," Krad said haltingly, refusing to look at him. "I do things again... feel what I felt back then. The pleasure and satisfaction of... hurting you. I recall every detail, your blood, your screams... your expression. And I can't stop myself from enjoying it so much, from feeding on the madness, from wanting you to feel the agony... "
Whoa. Dark stared at his lover, shocked. He remembered what Satoshi had said about Krad's past, about it rearing its ugly head now and then, about triggers and flashbacks.
No shit.
"Some nightmare, huh?" he only said.
Krad shivered and pulled away a little, trying for distance, but Dark held on. Not trapping him, just telling him that distance was not what he wanted.
"Dark, sometimes... I feel my old self, the monster, the creature that delighted in controlling Satoshi and making you suffer. Sometimes I feel like I could see red, could very easily slip back... and that scares me. I'd rather die than hurt any one of you."
"You're not a monster," Dark murmured. "You're an injured soul. You have to heal."
Just like Dark himself. Yeah, they were a real pair.
"I hurt Satoshi... while fighting Hel. Even before that." Golden eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I hurt you..."
Dark framed the pale, haggard face with his hands. "There is a difference between the person who tried to skewer me with the Link Pin of Time and the man I love and who saved me. Satoshi knows that, too. We're not afraid of you, Krad. Don't be afraid of yourself. I love you, all of you, including the darker side. You won't hurt me, love."
There was such hope and despair in Krad's eyes, Dark felt his own emotions rise.
"I love you," he repeated. "We're all here for you. Trust us."
Krad wordlessly buried himself in Dark's embrace, neither man aware of the sole figure standing just outside the bedroom, called there by the waves of distress from his demon. Satoshi leaned against the brick wall, eyes closed, drawn to Krad but aware that right now there was no room for the host. His turn would come when Krad returned to him.
"Trust us," he repeated Dark's words. "We won't let you fall."
He walked away, leaving the two men to their privacy, and returned to the kitchen.
This would need time.
° ° °
Things quieted down only slowly. Nightmares and bad dreams continued, and while Dark and Krad were starting to cope with matters, it would never be as before. Both hosts were busy with each symbiote and with their jobs or studies. Daisuke's healing ribs allowed more mobility, which was a great relief for the usually so active young man.
And with this settling calmness came Krad's growing interest in the still packed boxes Satoshi had brought with him from the visit to the old Hikari home. So many months had passed since the house had been sold, but nothing had been done about the things taken from there.
"What is all that stuff?" Krad asked, pointing toward a neglected cardboard box in the corner.
"Hm?" Satoshi glanced over his glasses. "Oh, that. It's father's stuff."
"Hiwatari's?"
"Uhm-hm," Satoshi answered absentmindedly, concentrating back on whatever task he was just working on.
"Aren't you're going to look at it?"
"No, not just yet."
"It might be important," the demon pointed out.
"If you think so, go ahead. I don't have time for it right now."
"You're not really interested in it," Krad stated, watching his host carefully.
He remembered only too well how Hiwatari Kei had died... and he shuddered inwardly at the recollection. If it was all but pleasant for him, how might Satoshi feel about it?
Satoshi looked at him, the ice blue eyes meeting golden ones. "Honestly - no. If you find something of interest, let me know."
Krad studied the young man, then nodded. Satoshi didn't want to delve into his past, which Krad understood. His host had suffered enough at the hands of his father, at the hands of his bloodline, and looking through the stuff of his past... no, Krad understood only too well.
But he was curious and Satoshi hadn't told him not to look.
Krad peered into the box, working himself through the items he found in there. A photo album that had seen better days caught his attention and he skipped through it, smiling fondly at the pictures of little Satoshi on his mother's arms. There even were a few of Kei and Satoshi, and this time Krad's smile grew sad.
In the beginning Hiwatari had loved his adopted son, had adored him, and from the looks of it had been a good father for the boy but then the art of the Hikari had changed him, in addition to him climbing the career ladder. The last picture showed a politely smiling Hiwatari with his hand on his son's shoulder, and Krad sighed. In that picture Satoshi looked about ten years old and his eyes had taken on the somewhat dead look the demon had been accustomed to.
Thanks to himself, too.
It must have been around that time when he had shown himself, felt the Hikari blood call to him once again-- and Hiwatari had made this fateful deal. He had sold his once beloved son to him, the demon who had only wanted to break free from his imprisonment, no matter the cost. Krad closed the album-- the last pages were empty anyway-- and put it away, feeling sadness creep into his mind. He had been the cause of so much grief and pain for his young host... something clinked at the bottom of the box, catching his interest.
A laptop.
Krad's eyebrows rose-- Hiwatari had been quite a scientist, too, diving into lots of research when he had wanted to reach a certain goal, and sometimes he had even taken unusual measures, like the Second Hand of Time, for example, to reach that goal. Krad flipped the laptop open, glad to see it had a electrical cord attached to it. Switching it on he watched as the little computer booted itself up, feeling a little curios as to what he might find. Could be anything from secret love letters to plans on how to take over the world-- who knew.
Skipping through the folders Krad found most of it being business letters and stuff, one or two reports on Hikari artwork that they had already sealed-- whatever Hiwatari might have wanted to do with it was beyond him, though. It had been rather insignificant objects. Oh well... Krad shrugged inwardly, ready to switch the little machine off when something attracted his attention. He had already learned from his host that sometimes files could be hidden and what indicated that there might be some, and here it definitely looked that way. No harm in trying, Krad thought, and pushed the buttons.
He had been right.
The file opened itself and Krad's eyes widened in shock. 'Project Black Wings' it said, and in another section it read...
'Subject Hikari, Satoshi.'
Something clenched inside him when he hesitantly clicked the file open and started to read.
fin
