DISCLAIMER: The characters are from Slam Dunk. I heard the place Honky Tonk from 'Get Backers'.

SUMMARY: Shounen-ai. MitKo. How did it happen?

REMINISCING

Nobody ever asked me something too personal, and when this guy told me a month ago to be his lover, I didn't know if I should throw up or point a gun in his right temple.
Believe me, that was one of the most confusing times in my life. Nobody has insulted me that much in that way.

"Hey, wanna grab a bite after school?" he said, giving away his fake coolness through his shaky hands. I didn't know it would come this. He has always been, well, him. The wallpaper guy who doesn't seem to do anything nor capable of doing nothing was hitting on me. Was it me or has he lost his glasses that caused him irreparable eye damage? For crying out loud I am a fucking guy and I haven't even thought myself as being gay, much more develop a machismo on homosexuality. I kill fags for breakfast.

"So, you want to? neh? Practice has been cancelled and it would be great if we can spend time with each other" the glasses boy muttered to me. My gay alarm has been turned on. HE IS HITTING ON ME.

"Sure." I said. Death through dating.

He never stopped courting me since then. Until now I jumped from being confuse to angry to frightened and finally to ignorance. He still waits for me after class, even when I used all excuses for turning down his invitation for 'quality time'. He still smiles at practice time, even after I just snort at his direction four times in a row. He still brings me lunch, which I voluntarily accept without giving any appreciation in return. He still keeps on telling me that he loves me, even when he does that I gave him one of my gangster fist and left him lay on the pavement alone.

That pathetic bastard is really getting in my nerves. This has to stop. This will stop, today.

The perfect time has come, Christmas. This is the best time to kick off an annoying gay suitor. I don't want to be cruel, but we are talking of one of the nicest guy here. Kogure has earned the most kick-around-nice-social moron reputation that unless I rub it in his face that I don't want to have sex with him, it'll just continue on until we graduate. I know it's a bit harsh, even Hanamichi cried when one of his dumper did the dumping on this yuletide happy fucking season. But, man, this is Kogure, K-O-G-U-R-E! Mr. Nice guy who cannot be daunted by anyone, much more another gangster attitude from me. I still have some residue from that shock I got after he managed to stand up for his teammates when me and my gang unsuccessfully tried to bust Shohoku. He has proven many time that he's serious, seriously in love with me – me, the Mr. Bad MVP guy – and his efforts has passed from being commendable. He is stubbornly sincere.
How the fuck did he ever fell for me? Not that, I mean, come on, girls do drool over me, much more guys with borderline sexuality. But how the hell did he think that I would agree to be his lover? I'm not even interested in having sex with a guy, much more go into a relationship with the same sex. Argh. This is getting annoying, and disgusting. Just imagine me, holding hands with him. Watching movies with him. Laughing and reading books -- him doing all the reading. And how about intimacy, huh? Did he think that I can kiss a guy like him? Even if it's Christmas, much more because it's Christmas, I couldn't do such a scandalous act! It's sacrilege!

"Hey! You have plans tomorrow? Let's go out" his usual invitation after waiting four hours for me.

"Sure" I said without even thinking. I swear, if my vocabulary has shrunk into a one-word sentence, I'd rather die than to be stuck with 'sure'. (Why not 'fuck' or 'away' or just 'NO'.)

It's cold. It's very cold. I never imagined myself outside at this hour, at this place, on this day. I am waiting for that lunatic who is obsessed with me. That bastard Kogure who left exactly seven messages to remind me of this fateful day. "I need to tell you something. Don't forget to come. 8:00 at the court." His message that was wrapped into seven different ways.
"Ah, you remember our da—plans, argh. We'll go out today right? 8:00, I'll go over to your house, or we could meet at the court. You'll come right?" "Hey, 8:00 at the court. That's final. Don't forget okay?" "By the way, we're going out at 8:00 today. Let's meet at the court ok?" "Have I left any messages about today? Err, just in case. 8:00 at the court. Ok?" "Hey, it's 8:00 in the evening. Just in case you're wondering. You might get confused or something." "It'll be very cold tonight. The weatherman said that it might be the coldest Christmas in Japan's history. Don't forget you coat. 8:00 in the court, ok?" "Hey, it's 8:00 pm. At the court. Don't be late, please. Thanks"

And now I'm here. Freezing to death, while waiting for that bastard to show up. How dare he make me wait for him. Here he comes.
"Gomen Mitsua-san. I got all excited and I fell asleep. I'm very sorry. Did you wait too long?" He said, flashing those practiced smile at my snorting face.
"Nope. Where are we going anyway?" I asked, already planning how I can crush his pitiable heart.
"Hmm, I was thinking of that new bar four blocks from the school. It's a branch of Honky Tonk. Though it was modified into a bar and all. Is that okay?" he said before flashing that smile again.
"Honky Tonk is fine." I said.

We started to walk.

It was in the middle of the meal when he blurted out that profane question.

" Uhmm.. Mitsui- san, can I ask you something?" He started.
"Sure." I said. My vocabulary clearly lacks the appropriate word for shut up.
"I was wondering… Do you have any girlfriend.? He asked.
This would be the perfect time to crush his hearts into bits and proclaimed to the whole damn world how a cold-hearted bastard I am. 'Yes I have. Actually we just fuck minutes ago, and if you don't mind I have to screw her again before she get to sleep. You see, a horny teenager like me doesn't have any choice than fuck girls, you know. I ain't that bad, really. She likes it, she likes it a lot. Oh, look at the time, it's already our fucking session, gotta go to her before she falls asleep. She might have nightmares for not taking my c before sleeping'. "No. Why?" How stupid can this fucking mouth get?
" Ah." He said, trying hard not to show his happiness.
"Ah.." I also said. Oh, come on. Is that it? I was positive something dreadful would come. It felt like I was beside a damned bomb and it would explode any second. I can just feel it. "Anou…." He started. I knew it. He would finally pop that fucking question. How the hell could I turn this guy down. IF he could think seven ways to re-phrase a silly question in an answering machine, I could also reject someone, in seven different ways.

"Mitsui-san, could you be my lover?" "Sorry Kogure, I ain't a fag. Go find somebody else who would fuck you." A bit harsh, he is a friend anyway.
"I like you. I like you a lot." "I don't like you." Better.
"I think I'm falling in love with you." "I'm not into those kind of things. Sorry." I like that.
"Could we be lovers?" "No." That's the way it's supposed to be.
"I really like you." "Me too. As a friend, nothing more." That's too soft.
"I want you." "I don't" Hehehe "Let's fuck." "Come on." HUH! Mitsui, focus. What the hell is happening?

"Mitsui-kun, are you alright?" Kogure said. Looking a bit worried. Haha! I have spoiled his plans.
"I'm not really feeling well." I said, acting as if a headache would suddenly attack.
"Oh. Gomen.. I was just going to ask you…" He said. Is he still going to go through with this? I AM SICK, you bastard! Can't you take a hint that I don't like you.
"What is it?" I said. I really need to get a new mouth.
"Anou…" He started, slowly blushing a crimson color that filled his face.
He's really going into it. Oh boy!
"Well.. we've known each other for quite sometime, right?" The glasses boy said, as going to tell their whole story.
"Yeah" Mistui answered, nervously awaiting for the question.
"Anou.. and we've become close friends. Right?" Kogure said.
He is hinting. I knew it. "Yeah.." Mitsui answered, feigning boredom. "Well…" Kogure stammered.
Well, what? You like me?
"Anou…." Kogure was still struggling.
Come on. Say it, bastard. You like me right?
"……." Kogure uttered.
Oh, fuck. What a pimp!

Silence.

"Could you.." Kogure started,
"Yes. I like you too." Mitsui said.
"… be my bestfriend!" Kogure finished.

Silence.

So, who said what to whom? I apparently blurted out some archaic profanity after that conversation. Though he consoled me by saying that he did intend to confess, but because I said I was sick he changed his plans.

I answered before he even popped the question. Stupidity. And I thought hanging with Sakuragi isn't bad. He is contagious.

Now, I'm ranting about how this guy who is hugging me now ruined my straight life. It's hard . If only I could go back to the past, I might have made it easier. It might not be too embarrassing.

But who cares about that anyway. I am happy right now, looking at this guy who became my lover.

END

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04/12/05