I awoke first, my head pounding. My hands and feet were tingling and I shivered; the mountains of Hima were not the place to be trapped in the dead of winter, as it was now. I brought my hands closer to my body, hoping to stop the feeling from going out of them, and Kratos stirred, moaned, and rolled off of me.
We were cramped; we both had room to move and sit up without touching the other, but not by much. As such, I was dismayed when Kratos rose to his hands and knees and proceeded to throw up. It was pitch black; I couldn't see anything, and for that I was grateful, but without Kratos' body heat to keep me warm, I felt the full effects of the frozen air.
When his heaving had stopped, I asked him through chattering teeth, "Are you okay?"
"Yes," came the thick, pain-filled response. "I think I have a concussion."
"Then you're not okay," I replied, trying to sound smooth and unconcerned but knowing I was failing miserably.
"I will be." I should see a dark form that I guessed was him sit back and look around. He muttered a few words and a small light appeared in his hand.
I gasped at it. "How did you-!"
"... I have Elven blood. I believe my great-great-grandfather was an Elf. This is all I can do with it."
"So you're not a half-elf?" I asked, my momentary panic subsiding.
He smirked at me. "And if I was?" I didn't know how to answer that, so I just sat and shivered, rubbing my arms.
He crawled over to the caved-in wall, listening intently. A faint but distinctly frantic bark made it's way to my hearing; "Noishe!" Kratos responded. "Go to Hima! Get help!"
Another bark, and then nothing, and Kratos' face lost it's color. "Judging from the temperature, it's snowing." He looked at me, an apology etched on his face. "If that's true, they might not come for us until tomorrow. If we're going to survive the night, we must share our body heat."
I eyed him suspiciously. I couldn't feel my feet anymore, and I didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. At least they didn't ache with the cold anymore. "What do you mean?"
He rolled his eyes. "Hug. I thought you knew me better than that."
"I did to, then you ran out on me over nothing," I snapped.
"That was something. That was most definitely something, Anna."
"Then what? It wasn't the dance, it couldn't have been."
"You wouldn't understand."
"Try me," I challenged.
He looked me straight in the eyes and said, firmly, "No."
I rolled my eyes. You're right, I don't know you that well it seems. Shoulda seen THAT coming... "Fine. Whatever. Are we going to hug or what?" Wordlessly, he crawled over to me and put his arms around my shoulders; I put mine around his waist and we laid down like that, his lower arm cradling my neck. "If you puke on me, I swear I'll throttle you."
"Don't worry," he said smugly. "I think I'm done puking."
It helped. A little. For a few hours. The numbness was in my hands now, and I couldn't feel my lower legs at all. I was getting sleepy, too, so I started singing sofly to myself, starting when Kratos shook me hard. "Stay awake, Anna."
"I am awake," I said in irritation. "You interrupted my song."
"I did not. You stopped singing.
"I did?"
I felt him nod. "You're slurring, too. Damn..." I closed my eyes. He was worrying to much...
Again he shook me. "Anna! Don't go to sleep!"
"I'm not!" I replied drowsily. I couldn't feel my arms now. How long had passed since I stopped singing?
Again, he shook me. "Anna!" he hissed in my ear. "Don't die on me. The night's almost over. Just a little longer."
"I won't..." I started. I didn't have the strength to speak. I realized then that I had indeed been fading in and out of consciousness and Kratos' fear was well founded. I was freezing to death. How he wasn't I had no idea, but I knew that I wasn't going to make the night. I was dying. The thought ran a shiver of panic and fear through me but there was nothing I could do about it but lay there in his arms.
At least I would die exactly where I wanted to be.
"... no choice..."
I started to look up at him but he put a hand on the back of my head and pressed me against his chest. What are you talking about? I wanted to ask, but the frozen air was sucking my breath right out of my lungs. A dim, bluish light filled the tiny conclave, and a gentle warmth spread over me. I felt the sensation return to my body painlessly. "It's okay," Kratos said gently, but his voice had changed. It had a kind of ringing quality to it, like a crystal chime. "You can sleep now. Everything's going to be all right."
My last thought before falling asleep, almost against my will, was to question what in the world was going on. The warmth was gone when I awoke; Kratos himself was asleep. I swallowed a bit of panic and touched my fingers to the pulse point at his throat and relaxed when I felt it strong there.
His question from the previous night burned in my ears. Why did I care if he was a half-elf? What difference would it have made, really?
His own waking with a slight groan startled me. He saw me awake after opening his eyes and smiled a bit. "I think we did it, Anna."
"What, survived that hellish cold last night? Barely," I replied with a snort, but couldn't help but smile back.
He sat up, shivering and rubbing his arms. I was about to ask him what that was all about last night when a faint, muffled bark drifted into the conclave; Kratos crawled to the caved-in wall and listened intently. "Voices," he said in a strangely tense voice.
I crawled over next to him and yelled, "Help!" at the top of my voice. Kratos cringed. "Don't you remember what happned last night?"
"Don't you?" I snapped pointedly in reply and repeated my cry for help; Kratos stared at me for a few seconds then added his voice to mine. We carried on for about a minute before Kratos motioned for me to stop. "They've heard us. We need to let them work now. If there's another landslide we will die here."
We sat back, waiting and listening to the sound of rocks being moved and voices calling to each other. A blast of cold air hit us as a particularly large boulder moved from where it was and the face of the restaurant owner peeked in. "It's a miracle you're still alive!" he exclaimed, extending a hand. "The cold last night was deadly!"
"We almost didn't make it," Kratos replied, giving me a little push. I went without argument and took the owner's hand, who then pulled me up and out of the conclave. A fleece blanket was immediately thrown around my shoulders as he helped me step down the slope created by the landslide. Seconds later, with the help of another rescuer, Kratos popped out of the conclave, and another blanket wrapped around him.
We walked back in silence, accepted the same room assigned to us in silence, slept all day and most of the night, and left together still in silence. After a few hours of travelling like this, almost reaching Izoold- we both had the thought to go to Triet after that particular ordeal- Kratos started laughing. I glared at him. "What's so funny?" I demanded, confused by his unusual outburst.
He met my gaze. "We did this when we first met, too," he replied in an unusually cheerful tone. When my blank look told him that I didn't get it, he settled down. "We travelled in silence for the first day we were together. You didn't want me there."
I looked away. "Well, I kinda do now."
"Kinda?"
"Kinda."
"That's good," he smirked. "Because I 'kinda' want you here too. I got used to travelling with someone."
I smirked back. "But it could be anyone."
"Yes."
I shook my head and looked straight ahead again. Well, I want you here, Kratos.
I love you...
I love you...
The words echoed in the man's head painfully. No, stop it...
You have to...
No.
...have to kill...
No.
... to kill me...
No!
His fist slammed into the cracked mirror, shattering it. Shards of the glass lodged in his knuckled but the pain went unheeded as he punched the mirror again. And again. And again. And again...
That creature was still there, in the mirror, begging him to kill it, begging him to kill her, just like...
Kratos, please! I... don't know... how much longer... I... can hold on... You have to! You had to kill me!
Kratos stared down at the mess he'd just created. A shard of particularly large glass, one that had broke off on the first punch, caught his eye. He picked it up with wide eyes, transfixed by it.
Still the event replayed in the glass. The monster that was Anna was approaching his son. "No! Anna, please, just hold on! We can go to Lake Umacy, we can-"
No! It's too late... I can't... our... son... needs...
Kratos raised the shard of glass calmly and brought it back down on the edge of the table, breaking off that side of the glass. It now formed a point; Kratos touched the edge of the broken glass, not feeling the cut but seeing the blood well from his thumb where he moved it along the side.
There was nothing I could do. I knew I was helpless to stop her, to save her... and now she was attacking our son again. Our son! Had she truly forgotten who that child was? Noishe was too weak now to defend him. It was up to me.
Could I raise arms against my wife?
No, Kratos, please! Save him!
The Seraph raised the glass again, staring into it intently. Dead brown eyes stared back. Shifting his grip on the glass ever so slightly, he raised it higher...
That final plea gave me the strength I needed. Anna was gone with those last words; I raised my blade and-
The pain registered in his head as the glass pierced his chest and a choking scream tore from his throat. Tears streaked his face, the scream becoming an agonized cry. He barely heard the door burst open, Kerina's own scream of horror. "It was supposed to be me!" Kratos howled through his tears, stumbling back against the wall and sinking to the floor. The innkeeper appeared at the door as well, and rushed to him. Kratos struggled against the innkeeper as he tried to pry Kratos' bleeding fingers from the glass.
Kratos' response was to shove deeper, struggling against the effort to save him. "Mithos wanted me!" he screamed at no one in particular. "Not Anna, not my son! It was supposed to be me!"
The innkeeper was screaming for help himself; two of the other guests appeared in the doorway. Upon seeing the scene before them both rushed forward and together they pinned Kratos to the floor as the innkeeper pulled the glass from the fallen Angel's chest.
Dirk sat bolt upright at the child's shriek of terror. The baby had nightmares every night since he found him and his mother- it had been what, two weeks? But Lloyd never screamed like that! Rolling out of the makeshift bed he'd made to free up his own for the baby, Dirk ran to the other room of his little caves to the still-screaming child.
Lloyd was clutching his chest, his tiny face contorted in agony as he cried. My goddess, he's dying, was his first thought, but he put on a calm exterior and sat down on the side of the bed, holding the child as still as he could as he examined the toddler. Strangely enough, Lloyd didn't struggle like he usually did, he just clutched harder at his chest, tearing at it as if he was trying to get something out. It was just a nightmare... that's a relief...
Dirk held the baby as he sobbed. He started when the boy's tiny voice asked, "Daddy ishn't comin' fow me, ish he?"
Dirk's heart broke for Lloyd. "No, lad, I don't believe he is." Most people would have lied, he knew, but he truly believed the compassionate thing was to tell the child the truth. If Anna's story were true, then it was highly unlikely the man survived.
To Dirk's surprise, Lloyd took a shuddering breath, then clung to the dwarf and started crying again, more controlled and quiet this time. Dirk just rocked the child, laying out plans in his mind for a house on the edge of Iselia. A cave was nowhere to raise a child.
Kratos awoke to a warm feeling across his chest. He opened his eye to see Mithos sitting on the edge of his bed, hands hovering over his wound and radiating a healing magic. "Why?" Kratos demanded.
"You're Origin's seal," the young teenager replied. "If you die-"
"You can find another seal," Kratos hissed, half from the pain and half derision. "It doesn't have to be me!"
"Yes it does!" Mithos exclaimed. "It has to be you, it has to!"
"Why?"
"Because I love you, stupid," Mithos snapped. "Now shut up or you'll hurt yourself more!"
A bitter laugh tore from Kratos' dry, cracked lips. "You love me, Mithos? So much that you had to murder my wife and son?"
Mithos withdrew his hands, his gaze turned downward. "Kvar acted against my orders," he said quietly. "He will be dealt with."
This surprised Kratos, but he dared not ask what orders Kvar had disobeyed. "Please, teacher, come home," Mithos pleaded. "It's been what, almost five years? I miss you."
Kratos tried to chuckle but instead coughed weakly. "We've been alive four thousand years and you miss me after five?"
"You're my friend." Mithos sighed in resignation. "Please, Kratos. I know why you left. I've abandoned the Lifeless Being project. I just want my sister back now. Once Martel is ressurected, I'll reunite the worlds. And she will be this time. This Chosen has a mana signature almost identical to Martel's." Bright blue-green eyes met brown. "Please, Kratos."
There would be no peace for him if he didn't go. Death would not take him, Mithos wouldn't allow it. Everything he'd done was meaningless. "All right," he said, leaning back against his pillow and closing his eyes in defeat.
Everything was meaningless.
A/N: I know it probably looks like it, but we're not done yet. There's an epilogue that explains Kratos' condition when he arrives in Triet at the beginning of the story. Stay tuned.
There's one thing I wanted to address about this story. As this is the last chapter that has this style, it will be here and not the epilogue. I've had several comments about the style of the story, which I'm not sure I pulled off very well and probably won't do again. The intention of splitting it down the middle as it was was to try to put the reader in the kind of disoriented, confused position Kratos himself was in for his half of the chapters. I don't know if I succeeded or not, but it was certainly interesting to write.
Thank you for all the support in writing this fic. I would have abandoned it without the encouragement you've all provided. And thank you for bearing with this experimental story-telling style. It was a learning experience, and a pleasant one.
Joshua
P.S.- I now direct you to Kharlan. It is my baby, the story that I'm pouring my heart and soul into. Please read and review. It would mean a lot to me.
