Bad Behavior Chapter 27

Embracing the Truth

"Uh oh, the mop bucket is next to your head. What happened? Was it that thing you ate at the pier? My Mom didn't cook last night so I know it wasn't that."

"Seth!"

"History speaks for itself Mom. So I still don't know what happened to him."

"Ryan decided to help himself to a drink last night. Make that nearly a whole bottle of drinks," Kirsten explained, giving Ryan the Motherly eyes that said 'don't do that again'.

"Ryan…you got drunk again? And I missed it!" Seth complained with disappointment. "Where did you get it from? How much did you drink?"

Ryan shrugged, unimpressed with his own accomplishment. "It was in the kitchen cabinet…and I drank three-quarters of the bottle by myself. If you feel left out, stick around, I'll probably puke again."

Seth's mouth dropped open. "Holy Moses Ryan!"

"Yeah well, it was a good idea at the time. I'm hurting today."

"So here's the deal guys," Kirsten interrupted. "Ryan, whether you like it or not, you're to make sure either Sandy or I know where you are at all times. If you leave the house for any reason, you will take Seth will you."

"You're going to make me baby-sit Ryan?"

"Yes.

"Mom, that's a little…"

"I don't care." The strength behind her comment had the boys looking at each other. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do to keep you boys safe. Ryan is taxed out from stress. He needs us."

Realizing what his Mom was getting at, Seth nodded and looked at Ryan, who lay silent on the couch. They were doing it again. He'd put them through the wringer and here they were, standing by his side, seeing this mess through to the end.

"I won't get into any more trouble," Ryan finally voiced.

Kirsten took a deep breath before walking over and tousling Ryan's hair. "I love you Ryan and I want to believe you more than words can say, but we're down to the deadline now and after last night…you're going to have to prove it to me."

Ryan swallowed hard and let his eyes come to rest on his hands on his chest. This wasn't a reprimanding but it felt like it. This felt like the day he showed Kirsten the open condom wrapper. He had broken her spirit and he'd let her down. Difference was, she wasn't backing down this time. This time she was laying down the law and damn it, it was going to be her way or else. Ryan was surprised to find himself welcoming the protectiveness of her actions. It was time to turn things around. Ryan always prided himself on his toughness and the Cohens were right…he'd abandoned it when he needed it the most. The next few days would be rough but he could do it. After all, what was the alternative? Letting his Mother win? He felt the fire inside him growing. Motivation was back!

Ryan had spent most of the day either sleeping or puking. He wasn't sure what brand that whiskey was, then again, maybe it was the fact that he downed nearly the entire bottle by himself, but even he was amazed at how sick he'd gotten from that little idea of his.

Sandy had blown up the airbed and put it at the foot of Seth's bed. Sleeping alone in the pool house would be off limits until after the hearing. He didn't blame them for not trusting him. Once again he seemed to go out of his way to give them every reason to think that way. Even Seth had threatened Ryan with his own ramifications should he try to disappear again.

Taking Seth's warning with a grain of salt, Ryan went to bed as planned. When he woke up during the night in need of the bathroom however, he found it much more difficult to navigate Seth's room in the dark than he thought it would be. As he neared the door, his foot landed on something unstable and before he knew it, his foot came out from under him and he crashed against the wall, waking the entire house.

"I knew it! I knew it!" Seth exclaimed, flipping on the bedroom light. "Ha! BUSTED!"

"What happened?" Sandy yelled bursting through the door with Kirsten right on his heels.

"He got caught in a Seth Cohen special!" Seth bragged.

"A what?" Sandy tried to clarify, still half asleep.

"Actually I think he just tripped on my skateboard," Seth admitted honestly as everyone looked down at Ryan, still rubbing his head and sitting against the wall with the skateboard between his legs.

"Ryan? Honey?" Kirsten asked curiously peeking over Sandy's shoulder.

"I just wanted to go to the bathroom. His room was dark, I couldn't see anything," he admitted, embarrassed and slightly pissed off.

"Okay everyone let's get back to bed. Ryan, go ahead and do what you need to do."

"Dad what if he runs?"

"He's fine Seth. Leave him alone."

Taking Sandy's comment as his cue, Ryan stood up and padded down the hall to the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him.

"Did you put that skateboard in front of your door on purpose?" Sandy whispered.

"Of course I did. I knew he wouldn't see it and you know me, I sleep like a baby. I needed something that would wake me up if he tried to get out."

"Good idea," Sandy agreed.

"He could've really gotten hurt," Kirsten commented realistically.

"Honey, he needs to know that we're watching…always."

"I thought everyone was supposed to go back to bed," Ryan lectured to the powwow in the doorway.

"Right. Yes. We are."

"I know you guys are watching every move I make right now, I get that. You guys have shown me what it's like to be strong, I only knew how to be tough and it's not the same thing." Everyone was quiet and Ryan had about had his fill of intense moments. "I just want you to know I'm really trying. Hell it's almost three a.m. and I even remembered to put the seat down."

The wise crack got a laugh out of Kirsten and even Sandy started snickering a bit.

"Ryan buddy, don't do that, it makes the rest of us look bad," Seth said.

"Alright, come on, everyone back to bed. It's late and tomorrow we have a full day tomorrow."

Once the house was back to being quiet and all the lights were turned out, "Hey Ryan?"

"What?"

"Where you seriously only going to the bathroom…or…were you…"

"Seriously, I was only going to the bathroom."

"You sure?"

Ryan opened his eyes in the dark. "I promised you I wouldn't leave again without telling you right?"

"Right."

"Have I said anything since that day on the pier?"

"No."

"Then I'm not going anywhere…Can I go to sleep now?"

"Yeah…Hey Ryan?"

"What…Seth," Ryan replied, getting cranky.

"Thanks."

"Ryan, stop squirming. Let me fix your collar," Kirsten fussed.

"You know I hate being dressed like this," Ryan complained.

"I know but look at the bright side, going to the gala today will get you out of the house for a while."

"Can I get a drink from the bar?"

Cocking her head to the side, Kirsten put her hands on her hips. "No, absolutely not. You will get all your drinks through Sandy or I. NO alcohol. I mean it."

"Just checking."

Suspicious of his question, "Did you get drinks at the other parties?"

"Yeah usually. It's a party right?" he smiled smugly.

Kirsten couldn't help but smirk at his 'teenager-ness'. "No drinks today. I would prefer you didn't drink until you were the proper age, but for now I'll settle for you just staying clean and coherent through Monday. It's only two more days Ryan."

"Just so you know…if you don't want me to drink…don't bring up Monday."

Flipping through report after report, Judge Whitney sat on her couch buried in paperwork. Even she was disgusted with the red tape the system put out, the same system she lived and breathed.

Caleb Nichol was right. This case was worth a deeper look. Ryan Atwood indeed had a past that went deeper than his juvie record. She could pretty much make up his life, at least the last eight years of it, from the skeleton of information laying all around her.

After reading through yet another report, "This woman knows how to use the system," she said out loud, stroking her cat. "She knows where the loopholes are. She's not the dumb drunk she comes off to be." Sorting through more forms, she came across an old photo of Ryan. He was about eleven years old and was posing to demonstrate a head injury. His Mother had smashed him in the head with a beer bottle and he took eight stitches right next to his hairline. She looked at Ryan's eyes. They were empty. Just empty. "What has she done to you Ryan? Her days of fooling the system are over."

Her thoughts were interrupted by the telephone. "Hello?…Steven yes it's good to hear from you…Yes, I've got his files in front of me. Did you…really? What about the foster family? I see. And what about the school?…So he's actually in more difficult courses here in Newport and he's not only going to class but he's doing the work? Good boy. What about the Mother?…You don't say? How did I know that was coming? This one knows how to work the system…she joined AA, so what? Let her join. She doesn't know I'm on to her. She's got a lifetime of neglect where her son is concerned. It's a miracle he's not dead or serving some serious time. The hearing is Monday. We don't have much time on this one. I'm starting to think it's time someone cut this kid some slack. Unless Mrs. Atwood pulls a miracle out of her hat on Monday…Yeah I know. Problem is the kid doesn't want to go to her. I've already seen that part of it. (Sigh). Well thanks for doing this for me. I appreciate it and I'll owe you one…Bye."

Clicking off the receiver, she slid the phone onto her coffee table and began gathering up all of the files and papers regarding Ryan's case. "And to think this all started with a cup of coffee with Caleb Nichol. Aye-yi-yi. Well, Mr. Atwood, you've got my undivided attention. I'll see you in court."

Ryan sat at the table and behaved like the little angel he was supposed to be. He ate his dinner, he was polite to other guests that came to the table, and that included big mouth Evelyn. The Cohens had done a damn good job of flanking him. He was never alone at the table and even a trip to the men's room had Sandy waiting in the hallway, just in case. They didn't make a big deal out of it, but they were doing what they had to do, they were doing what they told him they would do. It wasn't so bad. Part of him was pathetically enjoying being fussed over.

"Alright, where did those guys go?"

Kirsten's comment snapped Ryan out of his daydreaming. "What?"

"Sandy, Seth, where did they wander off to?"

Ryan shrugged. "Probably just wandering around checking out the party. Why?"

"I could use some coffee, but it can wait."

"I'd offer but…"

"Nice try but you're staying right here."

They shared a smile just as Caleb walked up to the table.

"Ki Ki, you look tired…Ryan…you look bored."

"I think he's past bored Dad. Say, would you mind keeping Ryan company for a minute? I'm going to go grab some coffee." She could feel Ryan shooting daggers at her. "I'll come right back. I promise."

"I think we just got saddled together," Caleb observed, sitting down.

"I think you're right," Ryan complained.

"So, since we're stuck together…tell me something about yourself. I know you're a rather guarded person, but, there's gotta be something you wouldn't mind sharing."

Great. Just what Ryan needed. A bonding session with the last person on earth he'd want to bond with. "There's really nothing to tell. You know my story already."

"I know your story as told through other people. They weren't your words, your version."

Ryan continued to focus on the tablecloth, ignoring Caleb with the hopeful intent of the conversation being dropped.

"Why did you do it? The first one, the Mustang…why did you take it?"

Jarred back into the unwelcome topic, Ryan was blown away at the old man's comment. "I see someone's been doing their homework."

"I'm just wondering, what's the draw? I suppose there's got to be some excitement behind it for you to do it more than once."

Ryan kept his cool. He showed no sign of offering any explanations. He wanted to feel the old man out, see how far he'd go with this…or where he was going with it for that matter.

"What about the burn? Did you Mother really burn you with an iron?"

Ryan's heart stopped dead in its tracks. When he didn't answer, Caleb turned around to face him, nodding in the process. Ryan's lack of an answer had confirmed the question.

"It was just a curling iron," Ryan mumbled so quietly, if Caleb hadn't been looking at him, he wouldn't have even heard it.

"You say that as if one is forgivable and one isn't. I want to show you something." Caleb stood up and removed his suit coat. After unbuttoning the cuff on his right wrist, he sat down in front of Ryan and rolled up his sleeve. "See this?" he asked, revealing a quarter-sized scar on his forearm. "My Father did that to me with his cigar. I had embarrassed him in front of some important people. He grabbed my arm to walk me aside, give me a talking to, and that's when I got burned."

Ryan was confused. He knew Caleb was hard to read but he didn't have a clue what to make of this.

"Now I'm not going to pretend to have been an abused child, I wasn't. This was an isolated incident, an accident. My Father regretted it the minute it occurred. I can't even imagine what your childhood must have been like. This one incident changed me forever. It changed how I looked at people, at situations. It had a lot to do with turning me into the bastard I am today. Don't let that happen to you. Don't let anyone turn you into something you're not. I knew that day I met you in the kitchen that you were different. You weren't afraid, you didn't back down, you held your ground. If you take that and apply it elsewhere in your life, there's nothing that can hold you back."

With his heart still pounding, Ryan's eyes darted across the table, his mind flooded with this latest onset of information. For the life of him, he couldn't imagine why the old man had admitted this to him. So far it wasn't making sense. So what? So Caleb had one bad fight with his Father, Ryan had a lifetime of anger and fighting and abuse. He could run circles around Caleb's story any day. But something inside him still wondered what else would come out. Taking a chance, he put something out there for Caleb.

"A bet."

"Excuse me?"

"The Mustang I stole. That was my first car. It was on a bet."

"What do you do with them after you have them?"

"You looking to change careers or something?" Ryan mocked.

"Of course not. I never did anything like that. I never crossed the lines."

And there it was, Ryan's gateway to getting the upper hand.

"You may have never crossed them, but you're sure good at blurring them. You're not the only one that's been doing their homework. You're exactly like me," Ryan trumped, grabbing Caleb's attention. "Sure I'm street thug, I can do a lot of damage in a short amount of time. Give me twenty-four hours and I can have you picking up the pieces of your life making you wonder what hit you. That's the only difference between you and me. I know what I am, I admit to it. It's out there and everyone else can see it. You're just as manipulative and deceptive and controlling as I am. The only difference is you bury it in paperwork. You go under the table, behind people's backs. In a twisted sense, I'm honest and in your face. You stay in the shadows, like a coward. If I'm coming after you, you'll know it. That's the only thing separating me and you."

A smug grin lit up Caleb's face. "Then I guess we know better than to cross each other."

"Guess so. What do you want from me?" Ryan asked point blank.

"I want you to be good to my family and I want you to get your life together. You're a powerful young man, more powerful than you realize. Men like us Ryan, we're only destined for greatness and that's because we won't settle for anything less."

'There he goes again', Ryan thought to himself. Why was he doing this?

"Don't believe me do you?" Ryan's face answered for him. "Look how far you've come already. You got yourself out of Chino, you got your life on track so far…sure you've hit some bumps and you've done some stupid things in an attempt to find your place in this family but you're still here and you're still fighting."

"I'm here because Sandy took me out of Juvie. I didn't have a choice."

"Let me get out my violin and play something depressing for you. Don't pretend for one second that their rules have you tied down. You've run away twice and the only reason you're still here is because you chose to come back. There's nothing keeping you here but your own free will. A boy with your resources, your street smarts, could disappear in the blink of an eye."

Damn it if Caleb wasn't turning out to be quite a bit like Sandy, and Sandy was often right were Ryan was concerned.

"So now what?" Ryan asked, shrugging at Caleb.

"Now you do what you're told and get yourself through Monday. Everything will fall into place after Monday morning."

Leaning forward, Ryan got closer to Caleb. "You talked to the Judge, didn't you?" Holding his breath Ryan waited impatiently for the answer.

Caleb on the other hand took his sweet time, sipping his Merlot and glancing around the party.

"Answer me," Ryan demanded.

"I think you would do well here Ryan. I merely told the Judge the same thing."

"What did she say?" Ryan breathed, trying to restrain the hope in his voice.

"She didn't. Whether you believe it or not, that's actually a good thing."

Ryan offered a weak smile to Caleb just as Kirsten intruded on their conversation.

"Alright, here we go…Ryan, here's some more soda for you, Dad, more Merlot for you and, some coffee for me. So what did I miss? You haven't killed each other yet so I take it that's a good sign."

"Turns out Ryan and I have quite a bit in common," her Father offered.

"Oh?"

"That's right. Neither of us are men to be trifled with," he joked, flashing back to their conversation in the kitchen during their first meeting. Raising his eyebrows he clanked his glass of Merlot against Ryan's Mountain Dew. The comment and gesture combo made Ryan smile and stifle a laugh. Maybe the old man was on his side after all. Maybe this was a sign of things to come. Maybe…

Dawn sat on her couch analyzing all the wadded up pieces of notebook paper on the floor. She'd spent all day trying to get her thoughts down on paper, but who was she kidding? She was an Atwood and words just weren't their thing. Every time she'd start writing, something else would come to mind. Something that should have been added, something that should have been worded differently…something that should have been written from the heart, rather than just for the sake of putting it down on paper.

She couldn't help but shake her head at the thought of all the people that go to therapy. This was frustrating her more than anything and to think some people paid for this seemed so ridiculous.

She looked over at her end table next to her and once again took in the last photo taken of her family. Suddenly her thoughts seemed to come together. They made sense. Putting her pen to the paper she scribbled feverishly. She wanted to get it all down before she lost her train of thought again. Damn all the drinking she'd done over the years, it made it impossible to hold a thought in her head. Sure enough, her reflections would scatter like ashes in the wind and it took time for her to regroup. It didn't take long, though, for her to realize she regrouped a lot faster when she'd look at the photo of her family.

Hours went by and she kept writing and scratching out and remembering and forgetting, wadding up papers and starting over again. This was one thing she had to get right. This time, it mattered. It had to be perfect. As the midnight hour approached, her body craved the sour taste from the bottle it was trained to receive on a daily basis. But not tonight, and definitely not now. She was going to finish this. One way or another, she was going to finish what she started. For once in her life, as hard as it was to resist, the bottle would have to wait.

TBC…

GASP! The next chapter is the FINALE! What will happen to Ryan? To the Cohens? To Dawn? Will there be a happy ending or will Ryan's life follow it's typical disappointing path and force him to return to Chino? All will be answered when the finale hits a computer screen near you. (Get the Kleenex ready!): D