I sat on the balcony of my apartment, staring across the street at the storybook house with the white picket fence that belonged to my brother, Quigley, and his wife, Violet. I had always liked Violet, ever since I saw her at Prufrock. We had something good going there, although it was never official. There was just this spark that I couldn't explain then, and I still can't. It didn't go away when she started dating Quigley, and then married him. He always kept it hidden, yet always subtly hinted towards his feelings.
Violet never caught on. She always ignored his playful advances by shrugging them off.
"Ha ha, Duncan," she always said. "You know I love Quigley, stop being silly."
"Just checking," I always replied with a smile, pretending to be protective of my brother's feelings, when deep down, I envied him.
Violet had to be the
prettiest girl in town. Everyone looked twice when she walked by,
but no one dared touch her, knowing full well that Quigley would
personally hunt them down. I was the only one that ever tried,
always failing. Makes me wonder why I haven't moved on yet.
Late at night, Violet calls me sometimes. You see, Quigley is often at work, making maps of safe places and hide outs for the dwindling VFD members. She calls me sometimes late at night, asking me to come over and take the baby for a minute. I guess its hard for her being alone with a little baby and no Quigley to give her a break. She never strays from her Quigley. Always being faithful, innocent Violet.
One night, or should I say early morning, I found myself holding my nephew and staring at Violet's left hand. Her right hand was stirring a pot of coffee, but her left was positioned delicately on the countertop. She looked up and followed the path of my eyes, noticing that they were focused on the diamond on her ring finger.
"What?" she asked, with a smile. I couldn't resist that smile. I smiled back.
"Oh nothing," I lied. "Its just a pretty ring, that's all." Deep down, I hated that ring. It was beautiful, but just that it signified Quigley's marriage to Violet, not my own. I felt myself draw closer and wrap Violet in a hug.
"Duncan?" She was concerned.
"You looked like you needed a hug," I let go, rocking the baby back to sleep.
"Put Eli back in his crib," she said. "Thanks for coming over, I should be all right for the night."
"Anytime, Vi," I assured. "I'm right across the street. Don't hesitate to ask for anything." I emphasized "anything", hoping she took it the way I meant it, but I never got that call.
I woke up in a cold sweat the next day, recalling my dream. I was married to Violet and Quigley, well, Quigley had no one. Finally he understood how I felt. But he didn't. It was just a dream. I sighed, dressing myself to sit on the porch. I saw Violet holding Eli on the porch, kissing Quigley good-bye as he headed to work. Then it hit me. She did deserve Quigley. It was me who wasn't good enough for her. Yeah, sure, me and Quigley were physical copies of one another, but deep down, he was so much more.
He was smart, funny,
kind, caring, and everything I wanted to be. I'm just a hopeless
romantic deep in lust with a girl I can't have.
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