A New Form of Torture

Chapter Three: Pranksters

Erestor hurried down the hall, afraid of what he might find. As he neared the kitchen, he heard a thud, and a quiet "Oops." That made him speed up. He reached the door and jerked it open. On the floor sat the twins, stifling giggles and smearing peanut butter on the strings of Lindir's harp.

"What are you doing?" Erestor demanded in horror.

"Oh! We were just – that is…" trailed off the first twin. Erestor mentally confirmed to himself that this was Elladan, because he wore one braid instead of two. That was one of the Elfling's quirks.

"…Uh, but doesn't Lindir like peanut butter?" asked Elrohir, trying to look blameless. Though that look affected some of the more gullible Elves, it didn't charm Erestor.

"He does, but that doesn't mean he likes it on his harp!" The advisor was having a hard time keeping his temper in check. He took the harp from them, and stepped back into the doorway – and right into Lindir.

"Mihawp!" Lindir cried as Glorfindel caught him from behind.

"What?" Elladan and Elrohir asked together.

"His harp," Glorfindel translated, setting the minstrel Elf upright. His hands flew to his head to make sure every hair was in place, then turned and checked his reflection in a very conveniently placed mirror.

"What happened?" Lindir asked, snatching the instrument from Erestor's hands and clutching it protectively, his knuckles white.

"The twins," Erestor replied, pointing at the grinning Elflings.

"What is that stuff?" Glorfindel asked, pointing at the strings.

Lindir removed some of the brown goo with his finger, then licked it experimentally. "Peanut butter," he answered. He quickly went into the kitchen and pulled a spoon from the silverware drawer, and began scraping the peanut butter from the strings and eating it.

"I will never touch that harp," Glorfindel stated, shivering slightly.

"Oh, grow up," Erestor sighed. He walked over to the twins and grabbed each of them by a pointed ear. "Now that you've had your breakfast, we'll be starting your lessons."

"But Uncle 'Stor…" Elladan protested.

"It's Erestor, and you'll be studying history with Glorfindel first!" Erestor shouted, pulling the Elflings into their study room and seating them at the circular table where they had their lessons. He then left to look for Glorfindel.

He didn't have to look far.

Glorfindel was in the chief advisor's own study, admiring his perfectly arched eyebrows in a hand mirror. Erestor strained himself trying to smother his violent impulses, which were encouraging him to grab Glorfindel's mirror, shatter it against a wall, and then roughly undo all the Balrog-slayer's carefully-tied braids. Then, he began to wonder how in Arda Glorfindel had managed to kill a Balrog in the first place. He got a sudden image of Glorfindel dancing around, blinding it to death with the shimmer of his golden locks. Shaking off the thought, he yanked the mirror out of Glorfindel's hand and none too gently stuck it in his own pocket.

"Excuse me! What do you think you're doing?" Glorfindel demanded. Erestor said nothing, simply grabbed his wrist and half-dragged him down the corridor. The Elf shouted and protested the whole way, but Erestor ignored him, and when they got to the study room, he forcefully shoved Glorfindel into the unoccupied seat, slammed the history book down in the middle of the table, and stalked out the door.

He lingered outside momentarily, and was deeply satisfied to hear Glorfindel suddenly cry, "I am not your grandfather! How dare you imply that I'm Elrond's father!"

Erestor walked away laughing.

He returned a half hour later to check on them. He opened the door a crack and glanced inside, and his sharp Elven hearing caught Glorfindel's "lesson".

"And then so-and-so fought so-and-so, defeating the tribe of Blah, and allowing what's-his-face to become king," he was saying in a monotone.

Erestor was shocked. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

Glorfindel looked up at him with a bored expression, his hair spread limply across his slumping shoulders. "Teaching history," he shrugged.

Erestor sighed and buried his face in his hands, trying to hold back tears of frustration.


Reviewer Responses:

KitKat88: Yes! I'm blasphemous, aren't I? I'm glad you like it. Thank you!

Malara: I'm glad you liked it! "Chaos" is the right word. I'm glad you're enjoying it. Thanks!

Wingsister: I'm happy you're enjoying it. Thank you.

RMC: It really is, and they are some of my favorite characters. I actually came up with peanut butter!Lindir while eating a peanut butter sandwich. Ironic, no? Thank you!

SilverWolf7: I'm sorry you did, but I'm glad you like it. Evil Lord Elrond is fun, and Peanut butter!Lindir is a frequent character in my humor fics (which I have a lot of). Thank you for your review!

Elf-lover: I'm happy you're enjoying it. I would hope I spelled their names right, because I write about them all the time! Thank you very much, and there's your next chapter!

Earendil Eldar: Erestor is great, but where would we be without Glor? Thank you!

matrixelf: I'm glad you like it. You showed it to your friends? I'm happy that they enjoyed it. I liked writing Elrond's letter. There's more! Thank you!

SirNotAppearingInThisFilm: Yes, poor Erestor. Good luck with your English assignment! And thank you for the review!

seeing-spots: I'm very glad you're enjoying it. I adored "The Halls of Mandos" when I read it. Yes, that probably would have made it better. Too bad I didn't think of it. I enjoy Vain!Glorfindel, as well! Thank you!

swee-haret179: There you go, next chapter! Ooh, DQ! I want a Peanut Buster Parfait! Thank you very much!

Kalayna: I don't either. I had to increase three of my stories' ratings to K plus, because I didn't think some of the content (mild, mild violence) was suitable for six-year-olds. About Lindir's "peanud budda" - I do, too! Thank you!

Napolde of the Council: Oh, we're going to need a lot more than that. Thank you for your review!

Ithiliel Silverquill: (hugs Erestor) I always torture him, don't I? I feel bad for him. It takes Glorfy about an hour or so to get it done, if I'm correct. (falls over laughing) I'm such a dork. Computers are evil. Mine crashed. Thankfully, I had all my files saved on a Jump Drive, so I didn't lose anything important. Thank you for reviewing!

Many thanks again to everyone! I really appreciate your reviews!