Sydney stared out the window as the plane flew over the Pacific Ocean. The memories of her missing years had not come back to her fully. At least not yet.
There were some aspects of it that she did remember. She could remember falling in love slowly by surely with the man seated across the aisle from her. The concept of it still baffled her, though. This was a man she had hated with all her being in the years she had come up against him in the field. He made her so frustrated and mad. He had screwed with her, mind, body, and soul.
And she loved him.
There were times over the two years where she felt as lonely as a person could be. Those were the times he was there for her. She didn't know why, but he was there.
A week earlier, he had told her that the only reason he had been working with the Covenant was to kill her. It just didn't add up to the memories she had. He never once tried to kill her in their time together. He had been a pillar of strength, the one thing that kept her moving towards the goal of taking down the Covenant. Without him, she would never have succeeded.
He hadn't made one move to try to kill her or hurt her in any way. From the very beginning of their time together, he had protected her. He pulled her from her burning house when everyone present was arguing that she should just be allowed to burn. He pointed out the use she held for the Covenant.
True, he might have been trying to keep her alive just so that he could kill her himself. But, still, it was an awful lot of trouble to go to.
She knew Sark better than probably any other person in the world. He could be cold and emotionless most of the time, but the theory that Romanowsky brought to the table didn't even fit in with that hard persona. To support the theory, Sark would have had to hand deliver her to the Covenant with the intent of letting her become a cold-blooded killer. He would have had to assume she would trust him enough to buy the lies he fed her about it being her national duty to take down the Covenant before they became too powerful. Then, when she finally trusted him and became Julia Thorne, when she finally was benefiting the Covenant, when they could see how much she would add up to one day, he would kill her without a thought.
Again, it just didn't make sense.
Sydney turned her head away from the window to stare at Sark once more. He was sitting quietly typing on his laptop. It was a scene she had gotten used to over the years with the Covenant. He had visited her every night with his laptop. Most nights, they barely exchanged a word. At least in the beginning. Back then, she still hated him very much.
It was strange to realize that as her hatred for him slowly melted away, she was becoming more and more like him. She began to erect emotional barriers and walls to keep everyone at arm's length. The work he convinced her to do required it.
She never fully understood why she found it so easy to give up the last few holds she had on her life as Sydney Bristow. If she and Sark hadn't been forced to erase their memories and return to their old lives, she truly believed that her life as Sydney would have died completely. She would have embraced her Julia Thorne persona if it might being able to stay with Julian Lazarey.
He had both made her cold and kept her alive at the same time. He had changed her in so many ways.
"I still love you," she said softly.
He looked up from his work. "Good to know."
"I just felt like I should tell you. No matter what happens between us, I don't think that will change. There was some sort of bond formed between us when we were with the Covenant. I don't think it can be broken. I don't care if you maneuvered me into my work there because you intended to kill me. You and I are not the same people we were back then."
Sark shook his head. "I still can't believe I would be willing to cause you so much pain just to get what I wanted. I wanted to hurt the Covenant, but I would never use you so completely to do it."
"Yes, you would. The person you were then would have used me."
Frustrated, he slammed his laptop closed. "You would have personally had to have done something really horrible to me. There's no way I would have used you as a pawn. Number one, I know you're way to smart to let me do that to you. Number two, I would have been scared to death what you would have done to me if you found out."
"I would have killed you on the spot and returned to my life in L.A."
"Exactly. You see, I don't think I wanted to die." He gave her a small smile. "I think there are still a few missing pieces to the puzzle."
"We'll find them," she said, reaching across the aisle to grasp his hand in hers. "Meanwhile, you and I can focus on something else."
"And what is that?"
"How the hell am I going to explain to everyone back home that I'm marrying you?"
"You mean how are you going to explain it to Michael Vaughn?"
She rolled her eyes and pulled her hand away from him. "Contrary to your belief, my thoughts do not revolve around Vaughn."
"They used to."
"Sure, I'll admit to that. But he hurt me. And I don't react well to hurt. I still love him, but he doesn't mean half as much to me as you do. You are the man I love, Julian. And he's going to have to accept that." She looked back absentmindedly out the window. "I'm most worried about Dixon and my father. They hate you."
"Let's not be irrational. Everyone hates me, not just those two."
"But they hate you enough to kill you for the kind of mind control you must have over me to get me to agree to marrying you."
"Ah. The mind control theory. I think that might be a popular one. We'll have to form our defenses now."
Sydney felt the plane bump lightly against the ground as it touched down. "Looks like we're too late." She crossed the aisle and leaned over Sark to peer out the window on the other side of the plane. "Great. No rest for the wicked, I guess. My father's waiting for us at the landing dock."
"We'll at least we'll get the worst out of the way immediately."
"If you make it out of there alive, that is." As the door lowered to let the outside air in, Sydney stood up and made her way off the plane. She stopped just before getting off the plane and turned to him. "Let me have a minute."
"Whatever you want," Sark said, winking. He didn't know what the correct thing to do was to give her enough strength to say what needed to be said to her father. This whole having someone who depended on him and needed his support was a new concept. It was complete uncharted territory. And he was either scared shitless or finally completely content. He couldn't decide which.
Sydney took a deep breath of air before walking slowly down the landing steps and over to her father. Stopping at a halt in front of him, she glared. "Why are you here?"
"Dixon told me that something went wrong with your mission with Agent Harling I was worried."
"With good reason. It seems like you knew that Agent Harling wasn't exactly batting for our team, Dad. Why would you let me go on a mission with her?"
"I was preoccupied with my own assignments."
"For a man who was trying to control my life and what's happening to me, you're really not that good at it, are you?" She didn't give him an opportunity to respond. "And I'm calling bullshit on your little comment about worrying. You never really worry about me when I'm on missions. You know I can take care of myself. You've banked on that little fact for years now. So, I ask again. Why are you here?"
"Rumor around the office is that you had help on the mission. I wanted to hear firsthand if that's true."
"If you're asking if Sark was there to help me, then, yes, I had help. That help saved my life, Dad. I was going to be killed by the double agent the CIA set me up with. By the way, you might want to mention to Dixon that we need a better screening process of our agents."
"Don't change the subject."
She narrowed her eyes. "Oh, I wouldn't dare change the subject. Not before I tell you how this is going to go."
"You're going to tell me?" He chuckled. "That I would like to see, Sydney."
"Well, you already tried to tell me how things were going to go. That didn't really stick seeing as how I'm currently determined to marry the man you previously forbid me to see."
"Marry?"
"He asked me to spend the rest of my life with him shortly after he saved my ass. I told him yes without much thought."
"That was rash."
"I knew that if, after more thought, I decided that it wasn't going to work, I could tell him no. He loves me unconditionally. He would have understood."
"But you haven't backed out so obviously you haven't given it more thought."
"I thought about it the whole flight back to the States. I'm a different person that you remember, Dad. My time with the Covenant changed me. I know I keep saying that, but you just can't seem to accept it. I don't need you to protect me, to tell me what's the right decision to make. I've been making that mistake and so many more for years now. It's time I decide what mistakes to make."
"You can't be serious about marrying that murderer."
"Newsflash, Dad. I'm a murderer, too. I've done things I'm not proud of. The only thing that kept me sane was Sark. He's the only thing in my life that I'm sure of right now."
"He'll stab you in the back the minute you let your guard down."
"People have done that to me before." She purposefully stared him in the eye intently. "I lived."
Jack grabbed her arm forcefully. "You need to see Dr. Barnett. Something has happened to you. You're not thinking rationally."
She ripped herself away from him. "I'm thinking more rationally than I ever have before. I suggest you accept that before our relationship is scarred permanently."
Jack took a deep breath. "Listen. I love you, Sydney. You're my daughter, and I respect you. But I don't think you're in a position to see this whole situation clearly. You need help."
"She has help," said a voice from over Sydney's shoulder.
She turned to see Sark standing in the plane doorway. He winked at her. Turning back to her father, she smiled. "I have help. I trust him."
"You're a fool."
"I've been telling her that since she agreed to marry me. She won't listen." Sark made his way down the stairs to stand next to Sydney. "Aren't you going to welcome me to the family?"
Jack just scowled and turned to his daughter. "I am getting in that car and driving away. You're coming with me."
"I am not. As soon as you stop trying to control my life, Dad, you'll see that this might be the best decision I've ever made in my life."
"Aren't you afraid of how you'll be able to do your job when you're married to the enemy?"
"Sark has never really been the enemy. At least not completely. But I see where you're coming from. Sark and I have already met in the field since we started this relationship. It didn't go badly. I got what I wanted. He got what he wanted."
"I would never cause her harm, Jack," Sark said, slipping his hand into hers. "She's the only good thing I have in my life. If it came to it, I would fail at any mission I was assigned if it kept her safe. My loyalties are flexible to anyone but her."
Sydney held up the hand that was entwined with Sark. "Accept this, Dad. If you can do that, maybe we can figure out what to do about the issues between us." She nodded and began to walk away from her father.
"That went relatively well. You did fine."
"I almost gave in," she admitted.
"That's why I came out of the plane. You needed a little strength."
"Thanks."
"Any time, love. One down…"
"…So many more to go." She sighed and let go of his hand reluctantly. "I want to talk to Dixon first. And you know what that means?"
"Either I leave you to go off on your own or there's a blindfold and a bunch of wrong turns in my near future."
"I don't think you're ready for the blindfold stage of this relationship."
"I don't think I am, either." He walked over to his car that was waiting for him. Sydney couldn't even begin to fathom how he had managed to get his car to the airport so quickly. "So, your place or mine tonight?"
"You come to mine. In the daytime. Without hiding." She smiled and waved as he shut the door behind him. "That's the way it's going to be now."
"It's nice, isn't it?" he said, sliding a pair of sunglasses onto his face.
"Yeah, extremely nice."
He turned the key in the ignition. "Good luck. You're going to need it."
As she watched him drive off into the horizon, she shook her head. "I sure am," she mumbled, turning to make her way to the CIA facilities.
