Dedicated to my JTHM book for staying under my pillow and giving me…Interesting dreams.
Dib was on another book when he heard the door creaking open. He looked up to verify that it was Zim. It was. He turned back to the book, then froze. He slowly looked back up at his body.
The spikes of hair was bright green. Closer inspection revealed that Zim was also wearing green eyeshadow, nail polish, and, for some reason, green blush.
"Dear God no, Zim. You are NOT wearing that anywhere. Go take it off, RIGHT NOW!"
"No way!" Zim said, resuming his searches through another book. "Your inferior body is making me sick. If you want to cast RIDICULOUS spells, you have to deal with the consequences."
"But, Zim… you don't understand. Boys don't wear make up. And only punks dye their hair green. I'm not a punk, or a girl."
"And I'm not a human. You're making me be."
"You're making me look like a drag queen."
Zim peered at Dib curiously.
"Is that bad?"
"Well, yeah pretty much. If you go to school like that Torque Smacky and his gang will beat the shit out of me every day for-"
He clapped his hands over his mouth, but it was too late. Zim was smiling that smile.
"Is that so," he asked slowly, smiling that evil smile of his. "Is that so..."
"You do that to my body, I'm going to do something horrible to yours."
"Like what? There's nothing you can do to me."
Dib opened his mouth, then found himself at a lack for words. Zim just laughed.
It was twenty minutes later that Gaz screamed upstairs that dinner was ready. Zim and Dib both grinned, then froze, turning their heads slowly to look at each other.
"Every tried splodey beans?" Dib asked slowly. Zim nodded gravely.
"I was laid up in bed for a week."
Dib looked down at Zim's stomach.
"Guess I shouldn't eat any then, huh?
Zim gulped.
"Guess I have to then."
"Out of curiosity, what CAN you eat?"
"Anything I brought from Irk."
"Anything else?"
"No, not really. Waffles."
"DIB IF YOU'RE NOT DOWN HERE IN TWO SECONDS…"
"COMING!" Dib yelled back, forgetting for a second who's body he was in.
Zim looked at him for a second, then said, "You have to go back to my base. The food is in the cupboard next to the fridge. If GIR sees you, yell at him to shut up, and he'll never suspect a thing. And if you take anything out of the base, the door makes an automatic note of it, so don't try."This was a bluff, one Zim was desperately hoping would work.
With low spirits, the two boys walked downstairs. Zim walked into the kitchen, eyeing his bowl of splodey beans with an expression slightly less than complete revulsion.
He slid into Dib's seat. Gaz barely looked at him as she shoveled down her beans. Picking up a spoon, Zim got a tiny bit of the beans, and, shuddering, put it into his mouth.
It was pretty ok. Nothing compared to the great Irken cuisine, but still not as bad as they had been when he had tried them in his own body. He ate another spoonful. They tasted slightly better his time, because he was not expecting the mouth-searing taste he got when he usually ate Earth food.
"What's up with you? You're eating like you've never had food before, Dib," Gaz said, finally paying attention to her surroundings.
"Normally it tastes worse than this."
"I added some salt this time to dull the taste. Plus dad said it would destroy all life on Earth if I put salt in the oven, but it didn't. Destroy life, that is."
"If only it were that simple."
"Oh, wait, you idiots switched bodies, didn't you. I forgot."
"Yeah, we pretty much did."
"Dib's stupid paranormal crap?"
"Gee, how did you guess?" Zim said, his tone reaching the very pinnacle of sarcasm.
"Whatever. I'm just going to play my gameslave. When you guys switch back call me. I want to see if you die."
"How kind of you. Stupid Earth Female."
Four seconds later, Zim flew backward, the result of a bowl of splodey beans slamming into his (green)head at a speed exceeding seventy miles an hour.
We'll leave him here, twitching on the floor, and go see what Dib is doing right now.
Yay for being all uploaded 'n' stuff. MOre up as soon as I write it, which will be sooner if I get reviews.
