A/N: It has been pointed out that Mattie is absent from this story, though the events clearly take place post Paraguay and CIA (and she is mentioned in Chapter 1) I guess I kind of forgot about her until it was too late to insert her back into the story and still have it make sense.... Let's just say she was once Harm's boss, but he never petitioned for custody....

CHAPTER 9 – Diligence Rewarded

Sarah Mackenzie's Office

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, VA

DAY 5

Thursday, March 18th

0827

The days had become a routine for Mac while she was waiting for her sleeping Harm to wake. She hadn't taken the news very well when the Admiral told her of the brain swelling. It reminded her much too often of a certain night in May all that time ago when she almost lost him the first time. She would arise early go for a run, before heading to the office early. Luckily she was not scheduled to be in court this week as her mind certainly wasn't on it. She would work through lunch and leave early to visit Harm at the hospital. There she would stay until she couldn't stand on her feet any longer. Then she would go home and collapse into bed emotionally and physically exhausted before starting the whole thing again. It had been very few days since she started this, but it felt like years.

It was in these days that she poured out her feelings to him. Firmly grasping his hand she would start with the simple things like her day, before working to the deepest recesses of her heart where the true feelings were kept well hidden. She told him everything. It seemed that if she could do this with him there sleeping peacefully it would be good practice for the moment when he awoke and she would do it for real. She wondered if he could hear her but simply was not responding. She wondered how long it would take before she would see his eyes once again. She once again focused on the brief she had been preparing. How easily her mind wandered today. It was going to be a long one, that was for sure.

"Harm, you told me once that the thing you wanted most in life was to never lose me. I want the same thing. I can't lose you. Please come back to me!"

Harm's Hospital Room

George Washington University Hospital

Thursday, March 18th

1937

Mac had been at the hospital so much that the night nursing staff would simply nod and smile as she would head to Harm's room. Tonight she stopped at their station for the latest news on Harm. Mac noted on the board behind the station that Abby Harm's nurse this evening was sitting at the station. She looked up and smiled, "Sorry Ma'am. He's still the same today." The doctor's had expected him to wake up by now, but head injuries could be so unpredictable and each one unique, it was difficult to tell what was normal and what was not. The rest of his vitals were strong, and his EEG's had returned to near normal. It should be soon Abby reassured her.

Today, she began with a funny story about Bud and how he "lost" a client's snake. Sturgis was none too pleased with that one. Bud had just been glad that the Admiral hadn't been the lucky recipient of the less than welcomed visitor in HIS trashcan. She chuckled quietly to herself as she smoothed his dark hair. Her hand resting idly on his cheek she wondered how long her handsome sailor was going to sleep.

From the deep recesses of his consciousness Harm could feel a hand on his brow. He must be dreaming. His minds eye created an angel of beauty and she appeared before him. She was laughing quietly to herself at some inward joke. Her could hear her talking. Was it to him?

"I've been doing a lot of thinking the last couple of days...about us I mean. It's all I've done lately. Even at work. It has taken me hours to get through a brief because I keep thinking about you....about us."

Usually she made it through her monologue and watched as his peaceful face had no reaction to her quiet ramblings. She was grasping his hand tightly staring out the window when she felt a change in his body. His breathing increased slightly. Her eyes came to rest on his as they fluttered ever so slightly with life.

"Harm?" she asks with renewed hope.

"Harm can you hear me?" the urgency in her voice grew as she got no response.

His eyes opened painfully slow, and after several long moments they focused on her.

"Hey." he said hoarsly.

"Hey yourself Sailor. You had me worried. How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts."

"I bet." She gives him a reassuring smile.

"How long have I been here?"

She answers his question with a question, not yet wanting to reveal the severity of his injuries. "Do you remember what happened?"

"Yes and no. It's all kind of fuzzy."

"You were in an accident."

"I think I can remember that part. I think I remember singing and then..." he trails off. Does he tell her of the dreams he had? Were they dreams? His eyes close as his brain is suddenly taxed by the magnitude of this decision.

"Harm?" She takes a deep breath deciding if she should start her well practiced monologue. She had hoped that it would be a conversation, but it doesn't appear that he could take that right now. She must get it all out before she loses her nerve.

"Harm don't talk. Save you strength. I have something to tell you." And before she knew it she was taking the plunge. It's now or never She had vowed that nothing was going to stop her this time, and she was determined to make it happen. In the back of her mind she acknowledged the fear that she was facing that same catch-22, and held that fear firmly in check for now.

Her fingers still entwined with his as she slowly she raises his fingers gently to her cheek. She tries to once again muster the courage that seems to have escaped with her previous breath. "Harm." She exahles heavily. God this was so much easier when he was asleep!

The magnitude of her decision threatened to crush the very air from her lungs. She begins, "I'm sorry....I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was tired and angry. The night had been so perfect until you left me! Then you wouldn't answer your phone, and Bud called when you still hadn't made it to his house. I was SO afraid Harm. I was afraid for you. Afraid for us. You are the best friend anyone could ask for. I could have lost you so easily. We've been down that road before. These days have made me realize that I can't go any longer without telling you how i feel. Harm. I love you. I've always loved you. I was too afraid to admit it, and you can make me SO angry sometimes, you certainly know how to push my buttons! I would be kidding myself when I try to deny my feelings. I need you as much as I need the air that I breath. Harm, I love you."

Harm's eye brows have reached their zenith, his eyes wide as saucers. Maybe it hadn't been a dream!

For a long time they sat in silence. Mac fearing she had made the wrong decision by telling him shuts her eyes willing the tears to go away. I've made a mistake, and just as I feared I've lost the best thing I have going for me... Tears silently slide down her cheeks.

He gently places his hands on either side of her face, his thumbs tenderly wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"Don't cry." he whispers, the wall silently crumbling.

A realization suddenly hits, "Wait a second! Days?" he asks. "What day is it?"

Great. Just great! I pour out my heart to him, and he gets caught up in symantics? Mac's eyes widened as she realized her mistake. Not certain of how much more stress his brain could take, she tried to sidestep the question. "I should go and get the doctor."

As she reaches the doorway he calls out, "Sarah, wait!"

She freezes at the sound of her given name.

"I'd rather hear it from you."

"Harm... I...."

"Sarah. Please tell me." His voice is small and vulnerable.

"Harm..." Slowly she turns around, not certain where to start.

As she reaches his bedside she begins, "Harm, you're going to be fine. Aside from a broken leg and a few bruised ribs, you're injuries are not that severe and will mend with time..." She takes a deep breath as she tries to convince herself of that fact, "However, you hit your head several times, and developed swelling of your brain after your surgery. The doctor's don't expect any permanent damage, but they will have to run tests to be certain. Since you have received many concussions in your life with few effects, " she shudders at the memory of the night his Tomcat when down in the Atlantic, "they can't be certain what effects the prolonged swelling you developed will have had this time."

"Well as long as there aren't any girlfriends lurking in the shadows ready to be disappointed that I don't remember our relationship then I think I'll be fine." He chuckles and attempts a grin, but winces as pain tears through his skull.

She sniffled as the emotional rollercoaster threatened to overwhelm her. Her hands find their way to his cheeks in an intimate moment. Their eyes lock and in a brief moment that surpasses all understanding love is revealed and returned. He places a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Ahem!"

Startled, they pull apart quickly.

"I'm glad to see you've rejoined the land of the living Commander Rabb."