Okay so it's been a reaaaaalllly long time since I've updated this! Sorry!!! I've been preparing to move from Southern California to Virginia, and haven't had much time to work on it. Also this chapter hasn't been beta'd so any and all mistakes are mine. Reviews as always are much appreciated but not expected.

A/N: I guess this is kind of rapidly becoming more of an alternate universe, though I am not certain what the strict definition is since I'm still new to fan fiction as a genre... This is Post-Paraguay but before Mattie and Webb. I hope you enjoy!!!

CHAPTER 10

Harm's Hospital Room

George Washington University Hospital

Thursday, March 18th

1959

Mac stiffened at the sound of her CO's voice. With a sense of impending doom she slowly turned to greet the wrath she was certain to face. Surely there was no way to avoid an Article 32 now. She had no doubt that he had seen them just moments before when Harm tenderly kissed her. It was going to be yet another hit to both of their careers. As if an Admiral's Mast wasn't enough. I can kiss all future promotions goodbye after this. This blitzkrieg of thoughts occurred in the span of ten seconds.

He was the first to speak, "Sir, it's good to be back."

How can he be so calm when our careers are on the line? she wondered.

"Well Commander, we weren't sure that you were going to make it there for awhile. You had us all a little concerned."

"Tell me about it. You know I had some of the strangest dreams....at least I'm pretty sure... I mean, I think they were dreams...." he trails off uncertain where the line between reality and the illusions of the mind lies.

Mac stood beside Harm's bed watching with a furrowed brow, the exchange between her CO and the man she has just professed her love to. Neither seem to be affected. Surely one of them would have a reaction. Surprise? Anger? Anything?! She bit down on her lip trying to figure out what to say. Should I apologize to the Admiral? Should I say anything to Harm? Should I admit my guilt and take my punishment? Should I ignore it?

Harm looked from Mac to the Admiral, uncertain of how to proceed. The fog on his brain, not completely lifted was making the decision process even harder. He wondered if the Admiral had either missed the momentary lapse of discretion on the part of his two senior officers or had he pointedly chosen to ignore it? Awaiting acknowledgement of the situation was a fate almost worse than death or brig time itself. Just like when you were a kid and your parents sent you to your room to think about how you should be punished for something. You always came up with the worst punishments imaginable only to find that simply thinking about it HAD been your punishment.

What timing the Admiral had! Not very unlike their relationship to date, Mac had just finished handing him her heart and before he had a chance to respond the Admiral interupted.

Her heart cried out longing for Harm's reaction. Once again interuppted. Torn by bad timing. She had lay her soul bare before him and she was once again a victim of that propensity for bad timing. She needed a response. A decision. Anything!

Mac cleared her throat, "Well sir, I should be going. I'll see you tomorrow Harm." With that, she spun on her heel and fled the room. Tears stung her eyes as she ran down the corridor. The walls seemed to be oppressively closing in. She had to get out, and get away. By the time she reached the parking lot the tears that threatened before, freely flowed. Sitting in her car she contemplated what to do next. Would the dance continue like it had for so many years before? Damn it! Why can't we get this right? The sting of rejection that she had felt that night so long ago in the Sydney Harbor paled in comparison to what she felt now. Funny, he hadn't even technically rejected her, but by not asserting anything the result was the same.

Harm tried to concentrate on what the Admiral was saying, but his mind kept wandering to what Mac had said. How he longed to take Mac in his arms and reassure her that he felt the same and had for years. He longed to hold her until her tears stopped and until she understood that he would always be there for her.

Luckily, Admiral Chegwidden sensed that Harm was struggling to mainain a conversation. In the few minutes that he had been there several doctors had been in and out examining him and to take vitals. Harm had not objected to the Admirals presence, but knew that the doctors were waiting to complete their full examinations. Citing a need to be at the office early the next morning, Admiral Chegwidden excused himself.

Well it seems that those two are possibly getting back on the right track. 'Bout damn time! The Admiral chuckled to himself. The look on Mac's face had been priceless. He had figured Harm would receive such a welcome back to the living world when he awoke, but he hadn't expected to walk in the middle of it. I bet the first thing Mac thought of was her career and whatever punishment was on it's way. I'm certain that Harm's first thought was how he was going to backpedal his way out of the situation. That man can talk his way out of anything! There would be no Article 32 this time. As much loss of gray hair those two had caused over the years, he was happy to see that maybe this time, they would get it right.

After the Admiral left, Harm sighed heavily in a desperate attempt to clear the fog from his brain. He was already tired of being poked and prodded by doctors. Things were still quite fuzzy and he often had a difficult time tracking coversations, with both Mac and the Admiral and the doctors that had been in his room nonstop since his friends left. Dismayed, Harm wanted nothing more than to gather Mac up into his arms and hold her until morning. Exhaustion began to creep into the edges of his brain before finally claiming him as he fell into a fitful sleep.

Sarah Mackenzie's Apartment

Georgetown

Same Day

2310

Mac lay stretched out on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Emotionally exhausted she tried to will herself to sleep. Sleep however, masterfully eluded her. After a long while she rose from her bed and flopped into the chair near the window in her living room. Her thinking chair perfectly placed to stare off into space and, well, think. Wrapping her arms around her legs she rested her chin on her knees. How long have we done this? How much longer will we dance? In order to dance however, there must be music. The music she and Harm danced to always varied. Sometimes it is so fast you can barely catch your breath. Sometimes it is slow and sensuous. Sometimes it was wistful. The song that was running through Mac's head at the moment seemed to perfectly describe the situation she was in.

There's a song that's inside of my soul;

It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again.

I'm awake in the infinite cold.

But, you sing to me over and over and over again.

So I lay my head back down,

And I lift my hands and pray;

To be only yours I pray,

To be only yours, I know now you're my only hope.

Sing to me the song of the stars,

Of your galaxy dancing and lauging and laughing again

When it feels like my dreams so far,

Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

So I lay my head back down,

And I lift my hands and pray;

To be only yours I pray,

To be only yours, I know now you're my only hope.

I give you my destiny.

I'm giving you all of me.

I want your symphony

Singing in all that I am

At the top my lungs,

I'm giving it all.

So I lay my head back down,

And I lift my hands and pray;

To be only yours I pray,

To be only yours, I know now you're my only hope.

She watched the street below as a car would occasionally pass. How she longed to see a certain Lexus SUV pull up. Her imagination would watch as Harm would park and swing his lanky frame from the driver's seat. He would look up and their eyes would briefly meet. He smiled encouraging. It was the smile. The one that, as much as she hated to admit it, made her go weak in the knees,. Then she blinked and it all went away.

Harm's Hospital Room

George Washington University Hospital

Friday, March 19th

0239

Harm woke with a start, disoriented at first. Soon enough the events of the past week came flooding back to him. "Mac." He hoarsely whispered. Without regard to the late hour picked up the phone and dialed a number he had long known by heart.

"Colonel Mackenzie."

He noticed that her voice was strained, a little worried even, but lacked the grogginess one associated with being woken up in the middle of the night.

"Mac.... Sarah... I didn't wake you did I?"

"No. I couldn't sleep, so I was just sitting here thinking." Why is he calling me Sarah all of the sudden?

"About what?" he asked knowing exactly what she was thinking, but wanting to once again reopen the topic for discussion.

"Everything and nothing that i care to get into over the phone." She stated matter-of-factly.

"Fine. Come to me."

She shuddered at the memory of another time he had uttered those very words. This time she was filled with hope and longing rather than the hurt and rejection that became so clearly associated with them before.

Vietnam War National Monument

Friday, March 19th

0312

On her way to George Washington University Hospital from her Georgetown apartment she passed the Capitol district. Actually it was a little out of the way, but there was a certain place she needed to go before she went to Harm. She had to clear her head and get her thoughts straight in her mind. Before long Mac stands before the massive black wall. For once in her Marine life, she is uncertain of how to proceed. So often military protocol dictated how she should act and gave her a clear path to proceed. Now, in front of a monument to the brave souls that gave their lives for their nation, she feels small. She walks along the sidewalk, trailing her fingers in the engraved names, searching. About three-quarters of the way down the walk she stops. There it is, at eye level. Her fingers press lightly into the name.

"Hi" she sighs, "Bet you're wondering why I'm here. I know Harm has probably mentioned me before. If for any reason at all, to complain about me." She chuckled at that thought, knowing that she knew exactly how to push Harm's buttons in the courtroom.

"Well I don't know if you know or not, but Harm was in an accident. No. Don't worry. He's okay. Or at least he will be. He's broken his leg, but it will mend and he'll be back to duty in no time." She continues, "Okay. So enough of the small talk. You're right, I mean I didn't come down here in the middle of the night for nothing.... I love your son with all of my heart, mind and soul. Our timing has always stunk! But I really, really want it to work this time. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to hold my hurt in check, but I literally handed him my heart on a silver platter and he didn't say a word. Not one word! Well I guess in all fairness, we were interuppted by our CO and he couldn't really respond. What should I do? Do I let him think about it? I mean we've had eight years to think and thinking usually gives the same response. We end up stepping on each other's feet in this dance that we do. He called me. How often has he called in the middle of the nigth to talk. Well, since we got back from Paraguay not as much, but before... Yeah, I know I said some pretty bad things that night. Things I didn't really mean. Things that were only intended to hurt. Okay. I'm going to go, and let him talk. I'm going to keep an open mind, and I'm not going to worry about what the Admiral did or didn't see... Thanks for listening. I'll see you later"

With that, Mac walked back to her car and reflected. Though she knew it was impossible to have a real conversation with Harm's dad, but she somehow felt a connection here. Maybe that was why Harm spent so much time here thinking. Quietly her resolve grew and her love for Harm warmed that unshakeable core of her heart like no one had before. It was going to be all right.