hits self on head- Kitone here and yeah, I forgot to add a disclaimer for last chapter, but you all know, I don't own Fruits Basket, but I do own the OC's….yeah the creamy OC goodness. My friend says that she likes the OC's more than the real characters (when I writ about them), but that's probably just because Mi-chan (Michi) is semi-based on her. Well, back to it all.
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Never Forget the Simple Things: Bittersweet Beer 'n Green Vans
Leading me to another room he said, "Well, I guess I just wanted to talk. Maybe I could find out a little more about you. I'm sure Tohru-kun will brew us up some coffee. It's been such a long time since someone has learned the secret of the Sohma family."
I accepted this answer, but only because I'm pretty sure Michi-chan had also picked out Shigure's wink and probably wanted to know all the details of my night's escapades. Smiling reminiscently I said, "Coffee would be nice. Talking is something I do best so you've got my attention. This wouldn't be a date, would it? Not that I would want it to be a date. I mean my life is already screwed up enough as it is and-yeah."
He laughed at my nervous rambling and yelled, "Tohru-kun, could you make a pot of coffee and bring it to my room?" then continued in a softer voice, "No, it's not a date and it seems like we're in for a long night if your life is as messed up as you seem to believe. Perhaps I can get a story out of it, the master novelist that I am, I'm sure it won't be a problem. Do you smoke?" He put on a pair of reading glasses and pulled out a pen and paper. Then he pulled out a couple of cigarettes. One was lit and put into his mouth, the other was offered to me.
Grabbing the cigarette, I put it in my mouth and lit the cancer stick. Then I said, "I didn't know that you were a writer. I always expected you to be I dunno, something else. Did you know that smoking is bad for you and doctors know it? Yet, many of the doctors you see do smoke. They're like walking hypocrites. Might as well walk around with 'do as I say, not as I do' signs on them. Please do be patient with me. Sometimes I can rant along and not notice I'm doing so until I bore even myself."
We both took long drags from the cigarettes and he laughed. I guess my ability to rant was funny, but had he heard of anything called decency? I glared at him then he said, "You're so interesting. Maybe I'm just craving for a new inspiration for my story or perhaps I'm just leading myself into a place that I can't escape from. Something about you just fascinates me. Please do continue."
Oh my god! He could be so sweet and charming just like Ayame-san. I couldn't believe this was the same Shigure and the heat crept into my cheeks once again. Blinking a few times I was left speechless but eventually spluttered out, "I-I-I guess what I w-w-wa-want to say is th-th-thanks. I'm very flattered and all, I suppose, and if you really do want to hear more I guess I could tell you. Are you really sure? I mean I think I'm going to go get some sake. You have some don't you? Or beer, yeah, beer would be good right about now." I looked down at the coffee in my hands and suddenly had the feeling that it wasn't going to help calm my nerves. It wasn't that I liked to drink beer; it's just that anything to give an excuse for me to not concentrate. I walked down to the kitchen and opened up the refrigerator and pulled out two beers. Then I closed the door shut and heaved a huge sigh. It was so hard not to just collapse and faint, but I walked back to the room and offered him a beer with a smile.
He accepted it with a smile as well and then asked, "So, what is it that makes you, Takehara Miyeko, tick? You're different in some way; I can't explain it, but perhaps I could call it a little too aware of your own shortcomings. You may accept them, but part of you knows you're only masking up the imperfections to try and feel better about yourself. Now I'm not saying that you feel bad about yourself, but you know that you can never pretend that everything is okay. I'm also guessing that you've tried before and it didn't quite work out as you had hoped or planned. Am I hitting something close to home?" He cocked an eyebrow and continued to stare at me inquisitively over the top of his glasses.
I laughed and looked down at the bottle resting in my hands. Then I looked at my legs; one was bent with my foot resting on the bed and the other hung limply towards the ground. Regaining some semblance of composure, I looked at him and said, "You barely know me and yet you do know me in ways that I don't even know about myself. I guess deep down I do know about these things, but they aren't things I'm willing to admit to myself yet. Maybe it's because I try to be too obvious. Ever since, ever since, well what you said was true. It hurts so badly to pretend to be someone you're not really certain you are."
Writing a few things down, he said, "You underestimate yourself. The only reason I know this is because I, as a writer, am honed to pick up on the slight subtleties that cloud one's eyes. Simply put, I read people just as plainly as people can read my books. 'Tis my gift Miyeko-san. But do finish what you were saying."
A tear slipped down my face and then I said, "Ever since I was little, my friends have basically been a constant in my life. But more than anyone, Tatsu-kun was always there for me. From when I was a little toddler in the sandbox to now, he has been there to help me onto my feet. Somewhere along the line though, I began to love him, not like him. I could never tell anyone except Michi-chan, but even then I would lie and pretend that I had loved him and didn't anymore. Then one day, she told him that I had liked him at one point and there still is a little bit of static between us. But I knew he didn't care for me the same way I did for him and there was nothing I could do. Just like everyone, I wanted to hate him and pretend it was all just a fluke, but that would be denying a part of me that will always exist no matter what. Now he's just a brother again, but the thought of the fact that there was at one point something more makes me wonder if maybe it still is how I feel."
He watched me take a sip from the bottle and said, "I didn't mean to make you cry. Maybe I'm being too rude and invasive I just-"
Putting up a finger to silence him I smiled and said with a slight laugh in my voice, "It's okay Shigure-san. Please, please just listen to me for now. It's nice to have someone to listen to you. Sometimes it's easier to tell someone who doesn't know you that well about things that hurt you. I can't explain it, but can you do me that favor?" He nodded as I continued, "Michi-chan didn't mean to make me feel that way or change the way Tatsuya-kun and I felt about each other. She thought it was all just fun. I can't say I blame her. She probably thought she was helping me get over some things in my life, but there are some things that should stay buried deep within the eye of the beholder. That was one of those things. Most of the time I don't even realize or know what I'm doing yet I find myself hiding and wondering why."
A tear found its way into my beer bottle. It tasted different. Maybe it was just my imagination, but Shigure commented, "Bittersweet isn't it Miyeko-san. Everything in life is delicate no matter how solid or constant it may seem to you. Things just aren't what they seem sometimes and it keeps you on your toes all the time. There isn't anything that can console you it seems when you're on that point breaking solidity and you can't help it." Now, I'm not the most forward person usually, but I somehow found myself leaning towards him. He was looking away and didn't notice my advance and even I wasn't sure why I was doing it. Maybe it was something akin to breaking solidity, but it didn't matter at that point. Nothing seemed to matter ever. Everything just disappeared and the walls spun around so quickly, that at one point, it could become unnerving.
Before my mind could catch up, I said, "Shigure-san." He turned and I kissed him as soon as his head had fallen into place. Some could have blamed it on the alcohol, but I can only admit that I liked him. No, I couldn't exactly say I loved him yet. Love requires two parties feeling the same passion for each other. The kind of passion that makes you pretend you're asleep just so you can revel in the warmth of another is special and it hurts to breathe. At some point I had put my hands behind his neck. Then he wrapped his arms around my waist, although it was not an embrace, and it became more than a kiss. It was…it was that kind of passion that hurts. I pulled away from the kiss and panted slightly. Then I put my fingers in my hair and said, "I'm sorry. I-I-I-I wasn't thinking straight. I get drunk really easily. Do you think you could drive me home? Um, I have to get to sleep, yeah." I grabbed my things and walked out the door of the room where I had let myself get sucked into something uncontrollable.
Then he stood up as well and said, "Yeah, I mean I can drive you home. That is if you wouldn't mind. It is pretty late and you're pretty drunk I think." We both laughed nervously and walked into the car. The drive was relatively quiet save the uncomfortable direction giving and the even fewer failed attempts to say anything. We walked up to my apartment that was customarily too messy. In fact, there were still a few unopened moving boxes from when I had moved in a few years before. It was the only normalcy that I had experienced that day and it drew me in so forcefully that I didn't notice Shigure leaving. I plopped down on my bed and touched my lips. They were soft and slightly wet as they should have been, but something was different. It felt like a piece of them was missing, a part that would never be back, a cherry had been stolen from the branches of the tree. (A/N: For it to sound sweet, you all have to understand that I meant the piece of the lip hasn't literally been brutally cut off. It's only metaphorically speaking kids.) The kiss was different. There were sweet little I-had-a-great-evening kisses, nice-to-see-you-too kisses, and so many others, but that one had been special. It was a please-never-leave-me kiss.
Everyone says, "I'll sleep on it," but sleeping never makes anything go away or even help you to cope with something. In my case, it only seemed to worsen my condition. I couldn't tell myself it was all a dream because I plainly knew that it had been way more than a dream. I took a pain reliever to get rid of the headache that had accompanied my extreme hangover and thought about everything that had happened. Once I was satisfied to be dissatisfied, I made my way over to Michi-ko's dorm. It was just as messy if not messier than mine and it made me laugh. She walked up to me and handed me a bottle of water. I guess she could tell that I had a long story to tell and was getting ready to listen. We sat down on her couch and I began my story, "I know that you were expecting this Michi-ko, I could tell that you saw him wink. Anyways, he did have a lame cover story and……………………. It was a real kiss. Not the kind that we got from our prom dates; it was the kind of kiss that begs you not to let go. And I'm supremely, utterly, can't think straight confused. What do you think?" I finished my story and looked at her through helpless eyes.
She mouthed a few words as she searched for the right thing to say. I guess it was just as hard to give advice as it was to get the strength to ask for it. While she continued to start and stop repeatedly, I played with the shoelaces of my green Vans. They were my favorite tennis shoes. They were well worn in and everything about them was "cool" and they reminded me of my time spent in America. Finally, she said, "Miye-chan, there are just some things that you have to figure out yourself. I know it sounds like some superly crappy advice, but it really seems the only thing that I can tell ya right now. If you like him, then you should just tell him and stop acting like we're still in junior high."
I laughed and replied, "I guess you're right. I just can't tell him anything yet. I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way for me anyways. Probably just pity that was heavy with drunkenness too. We were both pretty drunk."
We both sat in silence for a little while and then got ready to get to work. Summer was great, but having to work pretty much the whole time was not. At least I got to spend the hours of demanding customers with my friends. I feel like I'm more than one person; the person I'm expected to be, the one I've been practically all of my life, and the person who's ready to throw all that away, forget everything that makes me, me. But that's the problem. I guess I have this golden rule: Never forget the simple things in life. Never forget what makes life living. Never forget the ones who will always have your back. Those truly are the things that make you who you are and to leave them to rot would be killing all that you were and can be. It doesn't mean that you have to stay the same, but you always have to remember to stay true to what you know is the right thing for you.
Seeing that it was getting later and business was running slow I said, "I'm going to go take a break. You guys gonna be able to hold down the fort."
Michi-chan and Yumi-chan yelled back, "Hai Miyeko. I think we're overstaffed tonight anyways."
Jumping at their obvious misuse of words I replied, "Great. I guess that means I can leave now, I'm pretty sure that I'm late for my doctor's appointment. You guys are great; make sure to lock up the cash register before you leave and bring some food to my dorm for me please. Thanks again, ja ne!" I tossed the restaurant keys to a dumbfounded Yumi-ko and ran out to my car before anyone had the chance to stop me. Some songs accompanied the drive over, but nothing was going to distract me from my game plan. I had to get there and out just like going to a super sale at Abercrombie and Fitch. Grabbing all of my things and sighing, I lit a cigarette and walked briskly towards the door of the now familiar Sohma residence. I took a few nervous drags from the cigarette and was met by the violet eyes of Yuki-kun. Smiling nervously I asked, "Is Hatori-sama here yet Yuki-kun? Not to sound impatient, but I have to go soon."
He let me in and replied, "Shigure-san didn't tell you that Hatori-san wanted you to go to his office from now on. He said he didn't have time to fix all of Shigure's mistakes and come to his house to do so."
I put my cigarette in a nearby ashtray and asked half-jokingly, "Does Hatori-sama also deal with psychological mistakes caused by Shigure-san Yuki-kun?" He cocked an eyebrow at me inquisitively and I added a, "I'm just trying to crack a joke. Never really was one to cause random outbursts of laughter, purposely that is." Then I set my bag on a nearby table and waited for Shigure. Or at least that's why I thought Yuki had gone away. The truth was plain and simple though. I knew very well that Shigure had created a big Godzilla sized psyche problem for me. My thoughts were interrupted by the man, himself, entering the room.
He couldn't quite meet my eyes and said, "Are you ready to go see Hatori-san Takehara-san? I'll go drive you to his office." Please don't do that Shigure. Don't try to forget; I've told you it doesn't work, so please don't act so damn formal. It took all I had to not cry, but smile in mock politeness. If nobody else was home I probably would have lost it and jumped on him strangling him asking him undecipherable questions. In my mind I was doing that, but just walked towards the open door. He motioned me towards the car that had become so well known to me in the past week or so.
I got my seatbelt on and asked, "So where is Hatori-sama's office anyways Shigure?" This was an all out war. It was a war of the wills; would I crack before he did or would he stop trying to pretend? I really wasn't sure, but I was going to do everything within my power to win. There was nothing that could stop me from figuring our situation out. That was all you could call it right now, a situation.
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So, questions, comments, concerns? Send 'em all to me. Yeah. I think I can take the flames. I'm a bit of a pyro myself, but not too much where I'm arsonist material. We'll have more fun with the Madubachi Trio next chapter I think. I hope I feel up to it. They're kinda harsh . Kitone-san out for this capter.
