Living With Maniacs
Ch. 4 The Surprise Revealed
A happy short intro this time around: Chapter four, what kind of trouble will the maniacs get into today? READ!
-----In Apache, parked in the bushes in front of Misty's house----
Misty sat, shaking, her hands glued to the steering wheel. Ryou looked at her concernedly. "Erm…you can let go of the wheel now. Mistaya?" He touched her arm, causing her to jump and scream.
"LOOK OUT! OUTTA THE WAY, OUTTA THE WAY!" she screeched, stomping the brakes of the motionless car.
"Mistaya! Snap out of it!" Ryou said, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her.
Bakura sat in the back seat, arms folded, hair standing on end. "Why didn't I get to drive?" he grumbled. "I wouldn't have taken out nearly as many mailboxes!"
"She's the only one who knew the way. And you don't take directions very well," Marik said. He glanced at Misty, who was still shaking and sniffling. "Hey, are you okay?"
"I'm a murderer," she whispered.
----Flashback----
The stolen car was flying down the road, over 80 mph, and Misty was screaming. Everyone was screaming, actually. Suddenly there was a thud; they had hit something. Misty slammed on the brakes and stared out the windshield in time to see a body go flying and land twenty feet away. A few people ran over to the body.
"Oh my God, oh my God," Misty freaked. "I killed someone! Now their friends are all gonna hate me! I'll be stalked, blackmailed-"
"Shutup and let's go look at the body!" Bakura interrupted her, undoing his seatbelt and climbing out of the car. Misty took a deep breath and nodded, and they all piled out of the car and proceeded to the small group gathered around the body. They weren't, as Misty had thought, however, mourning.
"Ha! This is awesome!" Yugi cried, staring at the body.
"I know, man! Dat guy was such an ass! And queea, too!" Joey agreed.
Misty walked up to them, and Tristan, the final member of the group, turned to her and exclaimed, "Oh my God, you killed Duke, the bastard!" He hugged Misty. Bakura, Marik, and Ryou looked on in confusion.
"You are so awesome!" Yugi celebrated, giving Misty his cute puppy dog eyes.
"Yea man, you rock!" Joey chipped in.
----End Flashback----
"No, not THAT, stupid, killing Duke was a good thing," Misty said, rolling her eyes at the person who played the flashback. Let's try again. She sniffled-- again. "I'm a murderer."
"No, don't be silly!" Ryou encouraged her, patting her back gently. "We all know you didn't mean to hit all those cows! Any of us probably would have done the same thing!"
Bakura leaned from the back seat to disagree. "Um, no actually, I think I would have been careful enough not to have run over the barbed wire fence and through the cows' watering hole in the first place--" -CLUNK- Ryou smacked Bakura on the head.
"Not helping!" he hissed.
"Wow," Marik sighed, staring at the house and yard. "I've never seen so much green!"
"That wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you live in the desert, would it?" -CLUNK- Marik smacked Bakura on the head. Misty stopped pouting and perked up at the opportunity to brag about her lovely yard.
"Oh, well, it's not really that impressive. We've got loads of lilies and cannas and four o clocks and morning glories and tulips…and we have a plum tree, apricot tree, peach tree, apple trees, a fig tree, cherry bushes, a passion vine, grapevines, blackberries, strawberries…oh, and I can't forget the naked ladies!"
Bakura's head snapped up. "Naked ladies? Where?"
Misty giggled. "No, silly, their a type of flower! They're called that cuz they don't have any leaves! They're also known as tiger lilies."
"Oh." Bakura sighed.
Marik continued to stare. O-o "Green…overload…feeling…woozy…" O.O o.o -.- o.o O.O o.o -.- o.o O.O -aka blink blink-
"Well come on in ya'll!" Misty announced with a wave of her arms. "Grab the suitcases and move out!" They all grabbed a suitcase- two, in Marik's case- and trooped single file into the two-story house. The three foreigners walked with their faces in the air, staring every which way, taking in every detail. The house was rather messy, having been lived in by nine people, then suddenly one lazy person. But it was nice. "Alright ya'll, listen up," Misty spoke up. "Since everybody's gone, the bedrooms won't be too crowded. Still, there are only three since I refuse to let any of you sleep in my parents' room. I get one to myself, so one of you are gonna hafta share. Or you could just rotate who gets to sleep on the couch each night-"
"I call solo!" Marik interrupted, leaping up with his hand in the air.
"Oh no," Ryou moaned, slumping to the floor. "I live with him, and now I have to share a bed with him? Whyy?"
"There there," Bakura soothed, patting his hikari on the back. "You don't have to share a bed with me."
"Really?" Ryou perked up.
"Of course! Just sleep on the couch!"
Ryou gave Bakura an evil death look, then growled in a low voice. "I'm sharing the bed."
"Fine by me," Bakura replied. "I get cold easy, so if I snuggle up to you in the night don't think anything of it."
Misty stared at them, wondering, then cleared her throat. "Anyways. You guys work out which rooms to take on your own. Just don't take the one with the bed with hangings around it, a dead snake and a bunch of YGO pictures on the wall, and a poster for the YGO movie on the ceiling. Ok?" They all nodded. "Fine. Now I need to warn you about the bathrooms. Please follow me." She led them to the bathroom like a tour guide. "Note that the top is removed from the toilet and a string is attached to this here bar. This is because the toilet is devoid of a handle; to flush merely pull the string and pour half a bucket of water down it." She pointed to an empty ice cream bucket next to the toilet. "Capiche?"
Ryou raised his hand. "Um, why do we have to pour a bucket of water when we flush it?"
"To help it flush," Misty responded. "If you pull the string and don't use a bucket, the contents of the toilet merely spin in a circle for a few minutes."
Bakura raised his hand. "What happened to the original handle?"
"I'm not sure," Misty said rubbing her chin. "I think it had something to do with the hamster and a spatula…"
Marik raised his hand slowly, shaking from head to foot and looking absolutely petrified. "Can we, um, just use the bathroom upstairs?"
"Well you can," Misty shrugged, "but I wouldn't advise it. The toilet's kinda small, tends to overflow, and the bathroom's been a mess since we took out the shower due to leaky pipes and such.." Marik withdrew his hand and made a little squeaky noise, but other than that remained silent. "Alright, then pick a room and settle down!" Misty said.
----That evening, around the dining room table----
Misty, Ryou, and Bakura all sat around the table as Marik came into the room looking extremely pleased about something. (don't you think like that you demented little urchins!) "I hope you're all ready, for I am about to reveal to you my surprise!" he announced happily. Everyone shuddered. "I brought…drum roll please…dum da da dum! Vegetables! Compliments of my sister's garden." Everyone sighed with relief.
"Whew!" Ryou exclaimed. "The way that suitcase was leaking, I was afraid it was something dangerous!"
"…or disgusting!" Bakura piped up.
"…or disturbing!" Misty added.
"Naw!" Marik smiled with the wave of his hand. He reached behind his back, pulled out a vegetable, and held it up. "See?"
"Aiiee!" Ryou shrieked, ducking under the table.
"Holy mother of Ra!" Bakura exclaimed, shoving his chair away from the table.
"Ai! That looks dangerous, disgusting, and disturbing!" Misty cried. "…what is it?"
"It's broccoli, sillies!" Marik said, holding the vegetable up a little higher.
Ryou peeked out from under the table. "I, erm, kinda see a resemblance to broccoli.." Misty ventured.
"Is broccoli supposed to glow bright neon green like that?" Bakura inquired, studying the vegetable a little more closely.
Marik looked at it and shrugged. "Well, I've never known it to, but Ishizu said it's really healthy. She grew it herself; I think she was testing out some new fertilizer she invented." He lifted the broccoli to his mouth to take a bite, but…-twitch-
"EW, it moved!" Misty screamed. Ryou ducked back under the table and started shaking like a Chihuahua, and Bakura watched the vegetable with livid interest.
"Hold still!" Marik ordered, frowning at the broccoli. "Heh, Ishizu warned me it might do this." -BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM- He began banging the broccoli on the tabletop.
"eee," squeaked the broccoli. -BAM!-
"Ah, there, it's stopped twitching," Marik observed, holding the broccoli in front of his eyes. "See?" He took a bite. "Mmm, crunchy…"
Misty stared at him. "I've never felt such a strange mix of pity...and indigestion. Marik?"
"Hmm?" He looked at her, his cheeks bulging and a slight green glow reflecting through his teeth.
"Would it bother you if I put on your tombstone that you were killed by a vegetable?"
"Is it over yet?" Ryou whimpered from beneath the table.
Bakura narrowed his eyes and smiled slyly. "Say Marik, can I have some of those vegetables?"
"Sure, what kind?" Marik asked with his still full mouth, spewing teeny bits of glowy green stuff.
"All of them," Bakura chuckled, rubbing his hands together and mentally plotting revenge.
Misty sighed and fell forward onto the table. "I have this strange feeling of impending doom…"
----a little while later, at dinner----
"Tadaa!" Misty sang, walking into the dining room with a huge platter of toasted sandwiches. "I made BLTs! Lots of 'em, so you have to eat it all. I don't allow bony people in my house."
"Technically, this isn't your house," Bakura remarked. "Your parents own it and are merely away--" -CLUNK- Misty hit him on the head, then set the platter of sandwiches on the table.
"No bony people!" Bakura and Ryou shrugged, then started wolfing down sandwiches. Marik, however, sat primly.
"Would you mind removing the B from my L and T?" he asked.
-death glare- "No!" Misty retorted. "You worthless vegetarian, just pretend it's soy or something!"
-deathlier glare- "I can't pretend it's not meat!" He sat up straight and proud. "It's my religion; a sacred tradition passed down from generation to-"
"As I recall," Misty interrupted, "it was also your religion and sacred tradition to live in a hole in the ground all your life and never have human contact nor see the light of day. What happened to that?"
Marik began sputtering indignantly. "Wha- well I…you see… but- but that was a ridiculous and unfair tradition, not to mention unhealthy-"
"So's being a vegetarian!" Misty countered.
Ryou and Bakura sat watching Marik and Misty back and forth like a tennis match. "How much you wan to bet Marik backs down first?" Bakura said to Ryou.
"It is not!" Marik replied angrily.
"Dude. People need meat to live. See, there's this little thing called protein and blah bla blah…" she went off on an anti-vegetarian rant.
"Fine!" Marik said. "Be that way! I'll just fix myself a salad!" He got up in a huff, accidentally knocking his chair over.
"I claim his BLT!" Bakura cried, reaching for the sandwich.
"No me!" Ryou shrieked, tackling Bakura before he could snatch up the sandwich.
"No Marik," Misty sighed, ignoring the yami/hikari scuffle. "Sitcho bony ass down. I'll fix you a lousy salad. With no meat." She got up and went to the kitchen, and Marik picked chair back up and sat down, head in hands.
"Hey, no biting! OW!" Ryou whined, rolling on the floor fighting with Bakura. "Take that!" -yank-
"Ah! No hair pulling!" Bakura cried. His Millennium Ring began to glow, but Ryou leaped on him.
"Oh no you don't!" Ryou grabbed hold of the Millennium Ring, twisted the rope, and yanked.
"No…fair.." gasped Bakura. "No…choking…allowed…" O-o
"Say uncle!" Ryou proclaimed, keeping his death grip.
"Agga!" Bakura choked, waving his arms frantically.
"Close enough," Ryou said, letting go. "Ah, spoils," he gloated, chowing down Marik's BLT.
"Hey, Marik?" Misty called from the kitchen. "Do you want bacon bits on your salad? They're soy!"
Marik sat miserably, his face still in his hands. "Ugh…" he groaned.
"Um, is that a yes?" Misty asked worriedly, peeking out of the kitchen. "Dude, are you okay? You don't look too well; you're almost as pale as Bakura!"
"Hey, it's not my fault!" Bakura interjected. "I had a great tan five thousand years ago…"
"Ugh," Marik moaned again, then lifted his head and smiled weakly. "No, I'm fine, it's just a little stomach ache." He shivered. "And I'm cold."
"Cold?" Misty asked skeptically. "Well, it has cooled down to the seventies…mebbe you should jus go to bed. You'll probably feel better in the morning."
"I'll eat his salad!" Ryou announced.
"No, me!" Bakura cried. -commence scuffle-
"Bleh," Marik mumbled; looking near tears, he stumbled off to bed.
----5:00 am----
Misty lay sprawled on her bed snoring, when all of a sudden... -THUD- "Huh? Wuwuzzat?" Misty said, waking up with a snort. She crawled out of bed, pulled on a nightshirt, and stumbled into the hallway. "Izzit a cat? Hullo?" -gurgle gurgle- "Marik, izzat you?" Misty mumbled. -"Blargin…fedivalnochi…"- Misty opened Marik's door. Marik lay beside his bed, mumbling, kicking, and hopelessly tangled in his bed sheets (he was fully dressed, I'm afraid). "Don't move, that's perfect," Misty giggled, pulling a camera from behind her back. -click FLASH- "Okay, now I shall become concerned. Dude, are you alright?" She rushed over to Marik's side and grabbed his arm to help him up. -tssss- "Ouch!" She dropped his arm. "You're burning up!"
Marik shivered.
"Argh." Misty helped Marik back onto his bed -which wasn't difficult, considering his weight and all. "You poor thing, you're half dead!" Misty pitied. "I wonder what could have brought this on…"
----flashback----
-twitch-
----end flashback----
"Ew." Misty sighed and looked down at Marik. "Yes, I'm afraid you're the victim of a killer mutant radioactive veggie. Tragic."
Marik gigged. "Stop it….hehee..I'm ticklish, stop….hee…leave my toes alone…"
"This is gonna be a long day," Misty sighed.
Boy oh boy, I better stop there! That chapter was way longer than I meant for it to be! You readers from last time may have noticed several changes, both big and small. So whatcha think? Review all, pretty please!
