Living With Maniacs

Ch. 5 -Sweet Revenge

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYOU::balloons and streamers fall from the ceiling, a British flag is raised in the background, and "God Save the Queen" is played on surround sound: Ryou sniffles. "For me?" :cry: "And me!" Bakura celebrates. "Since we share birthdays!" There! Since I didn't have time to make a banner for Ryou and Bakura's birthday, I decided to make it public instead. J And also..

WARNING! It has come to my attention that there are people still who read my story and don't review. Well that has to stop! So I have a friend here to help me accomplish this task. And no, it's not Froggy! Meet Yami Twilight, the Angel of Death! --Black smoke fills the room, thunder crashes from out of nowhere, and out of the smoke steps a demon. Straight jet black hair with purple highlights flows down her back. Her golden yellow eyes look as though they could see straight into one's soul, and her blood red lips and tanned skin add a strange appeal. Her demonic body is clothed in a black leather tank top, showing off her belly button, and matching leather pants. Her black tail whips threateningly behind her, and demonic wings sprout from her back.-- Tadaa! She is my assistant. Marik studies Yami Twilight carefully, then points and says, "Oh, yeah, I remember her! Isn't she that chic my yami is dating? The one who shares his love for fried squirrel?" The Angel of Death hisses, bares her fangs, and nods. "Yes, that delightful snack," she muses... "Where is dear Malik? We had a date with a blood sacrifice!" Froggy appears to keep order. "Now, now, Y. Twilight. Keep focused. We have the names of folk who have this story on their alert list but haven't reviewed. You are here to make sure they do!" Y. Twilight licks her lips. "Ah, yes. And if they do not comply, I shall feast on their blood!" Ok folks, now you can read the story...

By the time Ryou and Bakura had woken up, Marik was completely delirious. Misty warned the two to be quiet because Marik wasn't feeling well (which won the Pullit Surprise for Understatement of the Year). However, the warning didn't quite have the desired effect, since Marik was already leaping about and yelling curses from his bedroom. Ryou pitied Marik, but Bakura found it quite amusing and tried to slip Marik some more glowing vegetables. He must have snuck into the room during one of Marik's extremely violent hallucinations, however; he came out of the room at a run screaming bloody murder with glowy green stuff dripping off of him.

Misty went into Marik's room with the hopes of calming him down, but Marik chucked the bedside lamp at her while yelling something about fuzzy caterpillars. He eventually and temporarily calmed down enough for Misty to slip him some sleeping pills. As he slept, Misty took advantage of his comatose condition to take and hide the Millennium Rod. Just in case. Then she sat by his bedside and talked aimlessly to his sleeping form.

"Sheesh, this has been a hectic day," she sighed. "If I were you, I'd watch out for Ishizu...I think she may be trying to do you in. I bet that's what happened to Malik, too." Misty shuddered. "You poor thing. I always thought there was something wrong with your sister..."

Marik drooled.

"Yeah, it is kinda creepy, huh?" Misty leaned over and whispered in Marik's ear. "I think she has a thing for Seto Kaiba, too. Y'know when they were in the museum and she showed him the past? How come, when they came back to the present, Kaiba was on his hands and knees?" -disturbing mental image of Ishizu spanking Kaiba-

Marik rolled over and whimpered.

Misty listened carefully. "Hmm, you're right...it is disturbingly quiet. Well, Ryou's in the shower, and Bakura's off plotting revenge, so it'll probably stay quiet at least for a little while-" her musings were cut short rather violently by the sound of music...or what passes for music in our world nowadays.

"You were my sun...you were my earth. But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no-o. So you took a chance..."

O-o "I spoke too soon," Misty mumbled.

"So cry me river, yeah, cry me a river!" Ryou continued.

Misty shook her head. "That wouldn't be so disturbing if he weren't hitting those high notes so well."

"Stop it.." Mari began whining. "..stop! Mommy, the poopie's chasing me!" He twitched and almost rolled off the bed.

A shout from the bathroom suddenly broke Misty's concentration "REVENGE!" Bakura yelled.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing in here?" Ryou shouted from the shower. "Get out- hey, my boxers!"

O-O "This can't be good," Misty commented ever so intuitively.

Bakura cackled evilly. "Ha! Spiderman? Ryou, you pansy!"

Ryou turned off the shower. "Give them back yami, or I swear I'll-"

"You'll have to catch me first!" Bakura cried, then bolted out of the bathroom. Misty sat, not sure what to do, staring out of the open door.

"Get back here!" came Ryou's shriek.

Misty stared as Bakura came zooming past the door waving a pair of boxers over his head and chanting, "A PANSY, AND PANSY, RYOU'S A PAAAANSY!"

Misty's eyes widened incredulously as she watched Ryou whip by the door just a little behind Bakura, dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel. "Give them BACK, you bloody piece of tomb-robbing filth!" Ryou screamed.

"Wow. Ryou needs a tan." Misty scratched her head and continued staring out the doorway listening to the scuffle. She heard a sudden thud, loud clangs, then a shriek from Ryou.

"No wait!" Ryou screeched. "No! ..you- you wouldn't!"

"Oh, but I would!" came Bakura's cackle. "Whoohoo!" He ran back past the door, this time waving a pair of boxers and a towel above his head. "Wheeeeeeeee!"

Misty watched with growing interest as Ryou ran past the door at top speed-- butt naked. "Ooh, nice tushie.." she thought.

"I'm going...to bloody...KILL YOU!" Ryou roared. A huge thud followed by a crash made Misty flinch.

"There go the antique plates!" she told herself.

"Ha! You're cornered," Ryou growled. "Now just hand over the goods and I promise not to hurt you!" At this point, Misty decided to help. She got up and walked from Marik's bedside to the hallway.

"Cornered, am I?" Bakura scoffed. He faked left, tripped Ryou, and ran for it. "Ha haa! I'm home free, home f-" -WHAM- Misty smacked Bakura upside the head with a marble rolling pin.

"That ought to hold him for a while!" she said cheerfully. She pulled the boxers from Bakura's motionless hands and returned them to Ryou. "Oh, and dude..." she looked Ryou up and down and winked.

Ryou blushed furiously, snatched his boxers, and ran back into the bathroom.

"Ah. That was refreshing!" Misty said with a smile. She rolled her neck, cracked her knuckles, and went back into Marik's room to check up on the invalid. And found all four of her cats sitting on him. "Gah! Dragon, Tiberius, Elledan, Wokkit, get OFF!" Dragon, who was stretched out on Marik's stomach, looked up at Misty and growled. Tiberius, sitting on Marik's chest, merely stretched. Elledan, draped across Marik's neck said "Mow," like Gary. And Wokkit, the stupid one, sat on Marik's face and twitched.

"Dear God, you cats are gonna kill 'im! Suffocate 'im!"

"...ah...ACHOO!" Marik sat up and sneezed violently, sending all four cats catapulting across the room to splat against the wall.

Misty blinked. "Or he's gonna kill you."

Marik looked at his chest and stomach, and felt his neck and face --all were covered in cat hair. He broke down crying. "Mommy, mommy, you were right! I've turned into a camel!" He sobbed violently. "I'm sorry mommy, I promise I'll be a good boy...I don't wanna be a camel, please mommy..."

u-u "I'll go get something to clean you up with," Misty sighed. She exited Marik's room, and as she walked through the hallway she saw Bakura stumble to his feet.

"Urgh.." he grumbled, rubbing his head where it had been hit. "More owies." He brightened. "But ha! I've had my revenge against Ryou! Mwuahahahahahahahaaa!" He looked evilly at Misty. "You're next. Then Marik...or maybe I should get Marik now, while he's down for the count..."

Misty ignored Bakura's plotting and proceeded to the kitchen to get something to clean the cat hair off Marik's face and such. She peered into the cupboard, pulled out a washcloth, wetted it, and went back to Marik's room. "Ok, here's the -" o-o "Marik? Where'd you go?" She looked around and saw Marik crouched on the dresser behind her, preparing to spring. He growled menacingly. Misty dropped the wet washcloth and began backing slowly towards the door.

"RAWR!" Marik screamed, leaping off the dresser.

"Aiiee!" Misty shrieked, bolting out of the door, flailing her arms and screaming like a maniac. "Help, madman on the loose!"

Marik leaped out the door and ran -surprisingly fast- on all fours, roaring, "I'm a TIGER! RAAAAAR!"

Misty kept running, and turned the corner in the hallway. Marik followed.

----Begin Slow Motion Sequence----

Marik turned the corner of the hallway, leaped up, and began running along the wall on all fours.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" was all Misty said, running wildly.

Marik leaped off the wall, flying straight towards Misty and roaring exactly like a tiger. Misty looked behind her, saw Marik in midair, and screamed in a funky slow motion voice: "Ooooh shiiitt!"

----End Slow Motion Sequence----

Marik tackled Misty, hitting her smack in the middle of the back and knocking her over. Due to incredible forward propulsion, Marik hit her back and rolled right off. As soon as Misty stopped rolling from the impact, she looked up. Seeing Marik about to pounce again, she curled up in a ball, covered her head, and shrieked. "EEeeeek! Help! Heeelp!"

Marik snarled ferociously, leaped on Misty, and began tearing at her arms with his teeth. "RAWR!"

----Begin Melodramatic Heroic Scene----

A bright light appeared at the end of the hallway, and a man stood silhouetted, hands sitting proudly on his hips. He spoke in a deep echoing voice; "Fear not! I shall saveth thee, fair maiden!" -coffcoff-

The Tiger looked up and growled, blood dripping from its jaws. "Grr..."

The Fair Maiden peeked out from under her arms. "Hark! Who canst this brave hero be?"

The Hero walked nobly and bravely down the hallway. "Thou art safe, fair maiden, for I am here to protect!" He stopped and looked down at the Tiger. "Now foul beast, thou shalt feast no more upon her flesh!" He pulled his sword out of his sheath. "Prepare to meet thy maker, thou knave!"

The Tiger roared ferociously, then leaped at the Hero.

"Taketh THAT, foul beast!" the Hero proclaimed, slashing at the Tiger with his sword.

----End Melodramatic Heroic Scene----

Bakura stood above Marik, beating him repeatedly upside the head with Misty's marble rolling pin. "Take THAT! And THAT! Ha, revenge!" -WHACK WHACK WHACK-

Misty leaped off the floor. "STOP!" she shrieked. "You're gonna kill him you stupid idiot!" She snatched away the marble rolling pin and hit Bakura with it. -CLUNK-

"Owie!" - He shook his head. "Is that the thanks I get for saving your life! He was going to kill you! Look at yourself!" Misty glanced at her arms; blood streamed down them, covering the red angry teeth marks.

"Ah, it's not his fault!" Misty defended. "He's sick! Besides, you only did that to get your revenge against poor Marik, it had nothing to do with helping me!"

Bakura shrugged. "But I did help you, and that's all that matters, right?" D

Misty growled and hit Bakura over the head with the marble rolling pin again. -CLUNK-

"Ow! What was that one for?"

"Stress relief."

Bakura rubbed his sore head. "Did it help?"

"Not really." T.T

"Really? I relieved loads of stress when I beat the crap out of the tiger-boy over there..." Bakura began swinging his arms. "Whack! Wham! Die!"

"I give up. I'm calling Odion." Misty walked slowly away, massaging her temples.

----A few minutes later, after talking to Odion----

"Odion'll be here in a few hours. He's flying on the private jet Ishizu bought Marik and Malik for their 18th birthday." (A/N- All the main characters are 18 cuz it makes more sense than 16; Serenity is 16, Mokuba is 13 cuz he celebrated his birthday in July already)

Bakura grumbled to himself. "Those spoiled shits! What about Malik? He's sick, and Odion's taking care of him, right?"

"Well, turns out Malik has the same illness Marik has. He ate a mutant carrot from Ishizu's garden. Odion says there are stages to the illness, and Marik's at the binning of the second and worst stage. Malik just began the third stage, which involves lying like a dead man...but Odion doesn't know how long this stage lasts since it just began for Malik. But the stage Marik's in should last at a few days. Odion said Ishizu will nurse Malik back to health while he comes to help me through Marik's second stage." Misty took a deep breath.

"Oh." O-O Bakura blinked. "Sounds simple enough.."

Ryou came walking into the room, fully dressed after finishing his interrupted shower. "Hey Mistaya!" He gave Bakura and evil look, but otherwise ignored him. "Did I miss anything? I thought I heard noises while I was in the shower..."

Bakura and Misty exchanged knowing looks.

Ryou continued talking. "Well I thought maybe someone had gotten hurt, but I guess n- DEAR GOD WOMAN WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARMS?"

Misty glanced down at her arms, which were still bleeding profusely. "Erm..I'll explain it all in a minute. Bakura, would you please move Marik out of the hallway and back into his bedroom--gently." -slaps marble rolling pin against her hand threateningly- "Now, Ryou." She held out her arms. "Do you know anything about first aid?"

--Alright, fifth chapter ends there! Once again, happy 19th birthday to Ryou and Bakura, and I now have someone to threaten you with to encourage reviews! Yami Twilight flexes her wings, flips her tail, and grins an evil grin that shows off her teeth. "Review..." she hisses.