Living With Maniacs

Ch. 6 - Jazzercising and DEATH TO CHIVALRY!

Well isn't this lovely? I'm updating early! I know, I'm proud of me too. "Don't mind her," Froggy whispers. "She's in a weird mood. She just went to see the YGO movie, and claims one of her most favorite parts was when the pharoah gots stabbed...and when she tried to upload this here document it was corrupt so she did a bunch off stuff...well, i didn't understand it. But she fixed it to please you devoted readers. Speaking of whom..we got lots of new reviewers! Looks like Y. Twilight was a success! We'll be feeding her extra squirrel tonight...maybe promise her a date with Malik.." Yami Twilight pops up. "Did I here the word blood?" "No." Y. Twilight looks disappointed. "Oh. Well I've come back to this 'job' only because I enjoy scaring people. So if there are ANY other people out there who read and don't review I will hunt you down, rip out you bowels, and-" "NO!" Froggy stopped her. "Stupid, you dont want to scare the readers away! Just tell them how oober happy it makes the author to get so many reviews! So thanks everybody who reviewed, old and new, and let the chapter begin!" Yami Twilight shuffles away mumbling something about using the neighbor's dog for a blood sacrifice to Ra.

----In the kitchen, waiting for Odion's arrival----

Misty sat on the three-legged spinny stool, turning slowly in circles and sipping from her Texas coffee cup. She sighed contentedly. "Ah, peace and quiet!

From his bedroom, Marik could be heard screaming like a chimpanzee. "OOH OOH AH!"

"Um, yes, quiet, " Ryou agreed.

Misty ignored the chimp noises. "So, Ryou, what do you think of Oklahoma?"

Ryou cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Well, I uh... I think it's positively charming!"

"Really?" Misty asked, surprised. "Oh, that's right, you haven't really met any natives yet."

Ryou's eyes widened. "Natives? Like Indians? With hatchets and bows and arrows and loincloths and feathers in the hair?"

Bakura came into the kitchen to express his opinion. "Well, personally, from what I've observed, I think Oklahoma is stupid!"

Misty ignored Bakura completely and rolled her eyes at Ryou. "Silly, that's not what' it's like! Besides, I prefer not to call them 'Indians'."

"Really, why's that?" Ryou asked, fascinated.

Bakura continued despite the fact that he was being ignored. "I mean, come on. These people are so stupid, they named an airport after a guy who died in a plane crash!"

"Yes, you see, I don't want to call them Indians cuz people from India are Indians. The only reason they're called Indians is cuz when Columbus came to America, he originally thought it was the East Indies and therefore called the natives Indians!" Misty went on.

"Really? How splendidly fascinating!" Ryou observed. "Very well then, I shall refer to them as Native Americans. "

"... and those mountains?" Bakura scoffed. "Ha! They're a joke! They're nothing but big hills!"

"Actually, I wouldn't call them Native Americans either," Misty disagreed.

"How come?" Ryou asked.

"... and for Ra's sake, what kind of state has a town named Nowhere? I mean really!"

"Cuz, well, ya see, I was born in America, right? I'm native to America, therefore I am technically a Native American!" Misty explained.

"Genius," Ryou agreed.

"And it's nickname! The Sooner State? Come on people," Bakura continued. "Sooners were people who snuck past the starting lines of land runs early to stake out their claims... this state is named after people who took illegal actions to get a lousy hunk of land in these Ra-forsaken plains! What is up with that?"

"Well... so then... what would you call them?" Ryou asked, confused now.

"North American tribal members," Misty said promptly. "Cherokee, Choctaw, Chickasaw, Apache, Seminole, Kickapoo- "

"Kickapoo?" Bakura snorted. "Dear Ra, this is too much." He turned and left the room.

"Ok. So then, " Ryou ventured uncertainly. ".. cowboys and In- er, North American tribal members- aren't still duking it out?"

"Nope."

"Oh," Ryou mumbled disappointedly. "Well, do they still have those giant fans used to keep the cows in the fields cool?"

O-o "Giant... fans.." Misty said, confused. "Dude, those are old-fashioned windmills! They're used to pump water, not cool off the cows!"

Ryou sighed sadly. "... my life has changed."

"Huh?"

"My fantasies have been shattered.."

Misty made a face. "Uh, yeah, sure.." She spun around in her stool and almost fell off.

-THUD- Ryou looked up. "Hey, what was that?"

"I dunno," Misty said, also looking up. "It came from the roof. I'll go check." She set her Texas coffee cup on the sink and went upstairs.

Ryou looked cautiously around. "I'll just... have a little sip of this here coffee... just a taste to see if I like it... "

Misty came up the stairs looking carefully around. No one was up there. She took the screen out of the south window and crawled onto the roof. "Hello? Anyone here?"

A deep voice from above called to her. "Hello. I am here for you."

o-o Misty fell to her knees, hands clasped. "Please no! I don't wanna go yet! I don't have my driver's license yet! ... come to think of it, I don't even have my permit... "

"Just turn around," the deep voice sighed.

Misty did as the voice asked and squeaked. "Ah! There's a ghost on top of my house! ... but, what's with all the strings? Wouldn't you be bound to the earth in eternal torture and lamentation by something... I dunno, stronger? I was thinkin' more along the lines of chains.."

"Hush," the 'ghost' commanded. "Now come up here and help me get untangled from this infernal parachute!"

O.o "Oh. Sure thing Odion." Misty climbed up the rain gutter to the apex of the roof and detangled Odion string by string. Then they both slid back down the rain gutter and proceeded to the window.

Odion dusted off his deep violet cloak. "Alright then. Where is Master Marik?"

"Downstairs," Misty said. "I'll take you too him."

Bakura leaped out of the open window straight at Misty. "RAWRR!"

"AIIEE!" Misty shrieked leaping backwards. She ran into Odion, fell over, and started rolling. Odion grabbed her by the arm before she rolled right off the edge of the roof.

Bakura began laughing hysterically. "Hahaa! You should've seen the look on your face! Whoo! That was priceless! Haahaa!" He stopped laughing suddenly. "But I don't think that counts as revenge. You weren't scared enough; you didn't even fall off the roof!" He looked at Misty, with her I'm-going-to-strangle-the-hell-out-of-you look, and he took off back through the window. "Wheee! I'll just have to try again later!"

Misty got to her feet feeling as frustrated as a harelip trying to order Worcestershire sauce in a steakhouse. "Grr... you'll get yours tomb-robber! You'll get yours!" She turned to Odion. "Wow, man, you must be a stoic or something... you didn't even flinch! Didn't he scare you? How'dja do that?"

"I live with Masters Malik and Marik and Miss Ishizu. I'm used to surprises."

"Ishizu? What's wrong with her?" Misty asked.

"She's a mentally unstable control freak," Odion said matter-of-factly. "She even tried to come on to me once... and I think she has a thing for Seto Kaiba."

Mist nodded. "Understand."

----A few minutes later, in Marik's room----

Odion watched Marik leap around the room screaming like a chimp. "Well, at least he's past the tiger stage... " He pushed up his sleeves and showed Misty his heavily bandaged arms.

O-O

"Er, um Miss Mistaya?" Odion ventured. "I think you ought to go now... "

Misty takes a second to get over the fact that she was just addressed as "Miss Mistaya." "Why's that?" She saw something that looked strangely like a light purple hoodie go flying, but she ignored it.

"Er, well... " -sweat drop- "I don't wish to expose you to any indecencies... "

Misty started getting the wrong idea. "Dude, I'm not exactly sure what you mean, but I demand to know--" -SHMACK- Marik's pants hit her in the face. O.O "Oh."

Odion began pushing Misty towards the door. "Quick! Leave, before he throws his--" -SHMACK- Odion got hit in the face my Marik's Winged Dragon of Ra boxers. "--too late!" Odion covered Misty's eyes and shoved her out the door."

"But... but... " Misty tried to protest, hoping to catch a glimpse of Marik over Odion's shoulders.

"Don't throw your buts at me, Mister Squidward!" Odion retorted.

Misty blinked. "Eh... but wait, I've always wanted to know how far down those gold bands around his waist actually go!" -SLAM- Odion shut the door in her face. Tears began welling up in Misty's eyes.

"I'm sorry Miss Mistaya," Odion called from the other side of the door, "but this is not for a lady's eyes!"

"Who says I'm a lady?" Misty screamed through her tears.

Odion refused to answer.

"FINE!" Misty yelled. She kicked the door, nearly breaking her toes. -sniffle- "There are times when I wish chivalry was dead." She stomped off to the kitchen to the soothing comforts of coffee, but horror of horrors...her Texas Coffee Cup was EMPTY! -gasp- "Nooooooo!" she cried.

Ryou suddenly popped up behind her. "Hey Mistaya watcha doin that coffee was pretty good wanna fix another cup we could share or I could just drink it for you if you don't want any more right now what kinda creamer was that cuz it was really sweet and stuff you sure put a bunch of sugar in your coffee what's she matter you look a little depressed why are you crying?"

Misty sniffled. "Huh?"

"Aw, you look so sad but don't worry Mistaya I have the perfect thing to cheer you up so come on!" Ryou said, bouncing up and down.

"Really? What?" Misty asked, a little curious.

"Jazzercising!" Ryou grabbed Misty by the hand and dragged her into his room. He switched on the CD player. "Let's see what we have in here shall we cuz you gotta have music to jazzercise to everybody knows that so let's see what's in here ok?" Beethoven's My Elise started playing. "PERFECT!"

Misty stood staring. "We're s'posed to dance...energetically... to this?"

"No silly we're supposed to jazzercise to this!" Ryou exclaimed, kicking up his legs.

"But... " Misty tried to protest.

"NOW KICK THOSE LEGS UP IN THE AIR! 1! 2! 3! 4! SHOW EVERYBODY YOU JUST DON'T CARE! 1! 2! 3! 4! NOW CLAP YO HANDS! WOOT WOOT! AND STOMP YO FEET! WOOT WOOT! RYOU'S HERE! WOOT WOOT! WITH A BRAND NEW BEAT ! WOOT WOOT!" Ryou started shaking his butt and clapping his hands.

O-o "I'm just... gonna...go... sit down." Misty walked slowly into the living room and plopped down on the bean bag. Which grabbed her around the waist and roared - "BOOGA BOOGA!" -

"AAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!" Misty shrieked, leaping off the bean bag with a heart rate faster than a kickboxing kangaroo on caffeine pills and steroids. She stumbled backwards, tripped over a strategically placed roller skate, slipped, and bashed her head against the television. X-X

Bakura unzipped the bean bag covering and laughed it up, sending little Styrofoam balls flying. "Buahahahahahahahahahaaaaa! HaHA! You should've seen yourself! Oh man, revenge is SO sweeeeeet!"

Misty got up slowly, a little trickle of blood running down her forehead and fire in her eyes. "Tomb-robber... " she hissed, slowly advancing with her fists clenched.

Bakura rolled on the floor clutching his stomach, oblivious to the impending threat. "hahahahahhHA! Oho MAN! That was awesome, I've never--" -KAWHAAAM!- Misty clobbered him with the marble rolling pin, snorting like a mad bull.

"Alright tomb-robber! Now you get yours!"

"Meep!" Bakura squeaked. Misty swung the rolling pin and hit him across the stomach. Bakura doubled over, gasping for air. Misty gathered all her strength, and one last almighty swing bashed across Bakura's face with a crack. Bakura fell over. K-O Misty held up the rolling pin. The crack, oddly enough, had not been Bakura's face; her rolling pin was now cracked terribly right in the middle.

"Darn, he broke my rolling pin," she muttered. "Oh well. Now, to dispose of the body... "

Ryou suddenly came zooming through the living room at top speed, half dancing, half waddling, half sprinting. "Potty, potty, gotta go POTTY!"

Hooray! Fast update..and an OK chapter...well you know the drill folks! Time to click on that little purple thing in the corner of the screen and type up whatcha thought! And for any new folks who didn't read end notes...see my bio. Until next time...-disappears in a cloud of smoke-