Living With Maniacs

Chapter 8- The Final Stage

Froggy arrives to introduce the chapter- applause please! "Okay peoples, so sorry. But the handling of this story has gotten...sloppy. Sorry. For all those peeps who like having their reveiws answered in the bio, more apologies. If ever there is spare time, it shall be taken care of. It's hard enough finding time just to update! Oh, and Yami Twilight isn't here cuz...well, to be honest she was making me nervous!" Froggy shudders. "But if the number of reveiws starts to drop again, I may have to bring her back. But until then...enjoy! Review!"

Previously on Living With Maniacs… Bakura escaped the hallway closet armed with the Millennium Rod. He had to run for it, however, when Misty broke his mind control. He was mistaken for a girl, but saved a major mishap when Ryou proclaimed them to be lesbians. Bakura was returned to his prison, the Millennium Rod re-hidden, and in the silence that followed, a cell phone rang… -Cue Theme Song-

Timmy is an average kid, and no one understands. Mom and Dad and Vicky always giving him demands. BED TWERP!

Kidding!

The cell phone rang- an Inspector Gadget ring. doodle oodle oot, Inspector Gadget, doodle oodle oot doo doo, ooh hoo!

"A cell phone?" Misty looked at Ryou. "Yours?"

Ryou held up his hands innocently. "Everything I ever owned was reduced to ashes!"

Misty frowned. "Well I don't have a cell phone…" The Inspector Gadget music stopped and Odion's muffled voice was heard. "Odion?" Misty said. "He just didn't strike me as the cell phone type…"

"HE WHAT?" Odion roared.

Ryou and Misty gulped. "This can't be good."

"Are you certain?" Odion was saying, sounding extremely panicked. "But…where could he have gone? ..he took his Toybox? Oh damn it , we're all going to die!"

Misty sweat dropped. O-OUUU

"How long has he been gone?" Odion continued. "Really? Are you alright? Yes, yes, I'll be over there as soon as possible. We'll find him somehow!"

"I'm just…gonna go see what that was all about…" Misty said, sidling towards Marik's bedroom door.

"Yes, I think I'll do the same," Ryou agreed, following her slowly.

Misty stopped outside the door, slowly bent over and put her ear to the keyhole, and -WHAM- Odion came storming out. Misty went flying backwards and landed on her butt with chirping mochas floating around her head and swirly eyes. "Owies…"

"I say Odion," Ryou spoke up. "what is this grand brouhaha all about?"

Misty sat on the floor giggling. "Brouhaha….haha….heehee…"

"I just received an urgent phone call from Miss Ishizu," Odion said frantically. "Master Malik has subdued her and gone missing!"

Ryou paled. "Bloody hell…"

"Subdued her?" Misty said from the floor. "How?"

"Well, he snuck up behind her and knocked her out with an ironing board, hung her from the ceiling fan by her ankles, sprayed her thoroughly with sugar water, released his ant farm in the room, turned the ceiling fan on high, locked the doors of the room, then left."

"Good lord, and now he's at large?" Ryou asked incredulously. O.O

"He had an ant farm?" Misty commented matter-of-factly.

Ryou scratched his head. "W- well, how did Ishizu get out of that awful scrape?"

"The fan broke," Odion said simply.

"Ah."

Misty finally got up off the floor, rubbing the side of her head. "Hey, you said something about a toy box. What's the deal with that?"

Odion shuddered. "His Toybox. It's a box full of his favorite toys; namely, dangerous weapons. He's got a machine gun, chainsaw, bazooka, flame thrower, hand grenades…and that's not even the half of it. He has this button on the Toybox he pushes and the whole thing transforms into a 40 caliber…"

Ryou stared into nothingness. "I never thought the end of the world would come like this…"

Misty rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Huh. I wonder what brought on this sudden rampage of his…"

Odion cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Well, it just so happens to be the third and final stage of the illness caused by Miss Ishizu's experimental vegetables…The symptoms include a lucid and crafty mind accompanied by an insatiable urge to torture, torment, destroy, and or kill." -sweat drop- "Ha. Yeah. So, um, I've really got to get back to Egypt and help Miss Ishizu locate Master Malik before he drains the Nile or something." He turned and ran for the front door, throwing on his purple cloak as he went.

Misty blinked, then ran after him. "Wait, what about Marik? I still need your help taking care of him!"

"You must take care of him now! His delirium will pass in a day or two. He will be unconscious for a short time after that, giving you time to recuperate and prepare. Now farewell and wish me luck." Odion ran out the door and was gone.

"Wait. Prepare?" Misty was utterly confused.

"Good luck," Ryou said mildly.

Misty's eyes suddenly widened. "Oh!" She fell over. O.o

"I say, is something wrong Mistaya?" Ryou asked, kneeling down and holding her gently.

Misty was too purely freaked to savor being in Ryou's arms. "Yes, yes of course something's wrong! Not only is there a crazed murderous maniac on the loose, but didn't you hear what else he said?"

"Which part?"

"He said it was a stage of the illness! Which means after Marik gets through the second stage there'll be a murdering maniac loose right here! In my very house! Oh God, what'll we do? The world was not meant to hold two homicidal maniacs!"

"Hush, hush," Ryou said, holding Misty soothingly. "Calm down, now."

Misty stared up at him. "Big brown eyes…so serene…panic fading…." She sighed and snuggled closer.

"That's better," Ryou said. "Now, let's think. Firstly Malik. Dangerous as he is, he's all the way in Egypt. How could he possibly affect us from over there? Secondly, I'm sure there won't be two maniacs loose in the world because by the time Marik reaches that stage, Malik should be through with it and back to normal. So we'll only have to deal with one at a time. And I know we can handle a maniac; we've dealt with them before. My yami, for instance!"

Misty sat up suddenly. "That's it!"

"What's it?"

"Ryou darling, you're a genius!" Misty kissed happily on the cheek, then skipped to the hallway closet. "To locate a maniac-" She opened the closet door. "-one must think like a maniac! Luckily, we've got our very own maniac to do the thinking for us."

Bakura glared up at them from his seat on the closet floor. "Uht uh oo ilfy igle phgrs un?"

Misty ripped off the tape. "Beg pardon?"

Bakura sighed. "I said, what do you filthy little buggers want?"

"I've decided to let you out of the closet," Misty announced.

"Wha? Are you mad?" Ryou demanded, mouth agape.

"Really?" Bakura said. "Ah, finally I -" He narrowed his eyes. "Waaaaaaiit a minute… and what's the catch?"

"Only two things," Misty said promptly. "One, you must drop the whole revenge fixation."

"Hey, no fair!"

"Two," Misty continued, "you must give us an insider's opinion as a maniac."

"But….but…no revenge?" Bakura whined.

"That's my final offer!" Misty said. "If you don't agree in ten seconds, I'm re-taping your mouth and leaving you in here until…until…until Ryou puts on some weight!"

"Don't bring me into this!" Ryou said, backing up.

"But I'd be in here forever!" Bakura cried. "He's got a super fast metabolism and a thirty two foot tapeworm!"

O-O "Never drink vodka," Misty whispered to Ryou. She turned back to Bakura. "So do you agree or not?"

"But….I …the revenge, it …well.. Um…" he sputtered uncertainly.

"Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven!"

"Alright alright!" Bakura said. "I'll agree to no more revenge as long as you guys don't hit me anymore!"

"I won't hit you as often," Misty said.

"That'll do," Bakura agreed. "Now untie me!" Misty bent down and loosed the ropes around his wrists and ankles. "Ah! Freedom!" he cried. He jumped up and down, twirled around, ran from one end of the hallway to the next, and stretched. "Can't let these muscles go to waste!" he said. He rolled up his sleeves and flexed.

Misty rolled her eyes. "Yes, they're very nice. Now, to complete your end of the bargain. If you were loose in, say, Egypt, with a box full of lethal weapons and an in an extremely bad mood with the urge to torture, torment, destroy, and or kill, what would you do? Where would you go?"

Bakura crossed his arms thoughtfully. "Depends. Where's my hikari?"

"Um…right here?" Misty said.

"All right then, after damaging the pyramids, blowing up random buildings, killing a few people, and maybe draining the Nile- I'd come here."

Misty squeaked. "But…why?"

"Why, to torture my lesser half and his pathetic friends, of course!" Bakura said.

"Hey!" Ryou said.

"…so, why'd you want to know that?" Bakura asked curiously.

Misty sighed. "Malik is loose in Egypt with his Toybox and bent on the destruction of… I dunno, anything he can get his hands on!"

"Oh joy!" Bakura celebrated. "I'll be seeing my buddy pretty soon! I hope he shares his toys with me. My favorite is the chainsaw, but that's usually his weapon of choice, so I'll most likely have to settle with the flamethrower, perhaps with a few hand grenades on the side…"

Misty stared at him disbelievingly. "So…are- are you sure he's coming here?"

"Oh, most assuredly," Bakura said, nodding his head. "As soon as he finds a way…he'll be here."

Misty straightened up. "And when he arrives, we'll be ready for him! Ryou! Your main job will be to take care of Marik. I doubt you're any good at fighting. Bakura! You're our most powerful weapon-"

Bakura spun around. "Weapons? Where? Wait, me? No, no no no no no! You've got it all wrong girl. I'm going to be cackling maniacally alongside my buddy ol' pal ol' friend-"

"Oh no you won't! You can't?"

Bakura crossed his arms and looked at Misty arrogantly. "And just who is going to stop me?"

"I- I… I'll sic Marik on you!"

Marik came out of his room on all fours in a muscle shirt and boxers. "Arf Arf!" He sat up on his knees in front of Misty like a dog begging, his tongue hanging out.

Bakura raised an eyebrow. "Huh. How frightening. Look, you guys are on your own; I haven't been able to do one fun thing the whole time I've been here!"

"Silly me," Ryou said cynically, "I thought you were having fun when you stole my boxers, beat Marik with the rolling pin, scared the crap out of Misty, used the Millennium Rod-"

"Shutup!" Bakura hissed. "My point is, I'm not helping!"

Misty growled. "Grr….Marik!"

Marik sat up attentively, violet doggy eyes fixed of Misty. "Arf?"

Misty looked evilly at Bakura, then pointed at him. "Sic 'im!"

Marik crouched low, growling viciously, then charged at Bakura and latched on to his left ankle.

"Ahh! Get it offa me!" Bakura yelled, kicking at Marik with his right leg.

Marik dodged the kick and snarled, shaking his head and digging his teeth in.

"Ow! Ow! OW! Get off!" Bakura kicked again, hitting Marik square in the ribs.

"Yipe!" Marik cried, jumping back and turning desperately in circles trying to lick his wound.

Bakura hopped up and down, clutching his bloody ankle. "Ha! So much for your lousy attack d- OOF!"

Marik leaped on him from behind, knocking him on his stomach. "Grr…" -CHOMP- He bit tenaciously into the back of Bakura's neck.

Bakura lost all face and began screaming. "AUGH! Help, getimoff, getimoff! AAH!"

"Marik!" Misty said.

Marik looked up, still sitting on Bakura's back. "Ar?"

"Heel!"

Marik hopped off of Bakura's back, and trotted up to Misty proudly with his tongue hanging out.

Misty kneeled down, scratching Marik behind the ears, and said in that stupid sappy voice pet owners tend to use, "Oh yes, good job! Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?"

"Arf! Arf!" Marik barked happily, licking Misty's face.

Ryou crinkled his nose. "Ugh, that's disgusting! Stop it!"

Misty looked up at Ryou, and Marik licked her in the ear. "Ah! That tickles!" she giggled. "Down boy! Down!" Marik stopped licking and started shaking his butt.

"Arf! Arf Arf!"

"Aw, he's wagging his tail!" Misty exclaimed. "Isn't that cute?"

Ryou crossed his arms. "Stupid dog…" he muttered.

Bakura got slowly to his feet, limping and clutching the back of his neck. "Ohh… owie ow," he whimpered.

Misty took pity on him. "Aw, wet's get aww youw wittew boo-boos fixed, otay?"

"I hate you."

"Does that mean you'll help us and not Malik?" Misty asked.

"Yes, fine," he growled, "but I'd better be getting some damn good weapons!" He winced.

"Aw, I'll fix your owies now," Misty said. "Come along, poor thing. I honestly didn't know he would bite that hard!"

Bakura sniffled. "Whatever.

"Marik! Come!" Misty commanded. Marik leaped to his feet and trotted along happily behind Misty.

Ryou tagged sulkily along, wholly frustrated at being left out. "Stupid people…getting all the attention.. And a bloody mutt.. What's so great about Marik anyways?….grr.."

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