Living With Maniacs
Chapter 10- Late Night Television
Froggy again, introduces the chapter. "Howdy reviewer! Yes, this is the never-before-read tenth chapter...which means nobody knows what's going to happen, but nobody knows if the reivewers will like it at all. It's kinda short...sort of. And dunno if it' funny enough for ya... well, reveiw and let me know how you like it! Hope it lives up to your expectations!"
It was three o clock in the morning, and Misty was still awake. She sat in the living room watching TV and stretching her still-sore muscles. Sitting on the tank for that long had been really uncomfortable. She was still surprised that no one stopped them along the way. But now she sat in her broken recliner, the tank parked in front of her house, and Bakura sprawled on the couch (no longer in the military uniform) sound asleep. And drooling. Kodak moment! Misty leaped out of her chair, pulled the camera out of nowhere again, and snapped a picture of Bakura. The flash, however, woke him up.
"Oho, man," he groaned, stretching. The camera had disappeared. "What time is it?"
"Three o three a.m.," Misty informed him cheerily.
Bakura squinted and propped himself up on one elbow. "What's got you so perky? And what on earth are you watching at this time of night?"
Misty held up a 62 oz. cup and grinned. "I made a deluxe frappuchino. And I'm watching the news. And it's not night, it's morning."
"The news?" Bakura scoffed. "What for?"
"I'm looking for signs of Malik. It's too quiet, and he's been missing for almost nine hours now." Misty sighed. "This is really nerve-wracking."
Bakura got up off the couch and draped his arms over the back of the recliner with a chuckle. "Do you really think there will be something about Malik on the news? Ha. I can see it now." He stood up straight, holding an imaginary microphone. "I'm reporting live from Egypt where a crazed homicidal maniac ran loose only a few hours ago-"
At that moment, Bakura was interrupted by the television beeping to announce a special news bulletin. "We interrupt this program to announce a special news bulletin! We go to our field reporter in Egypt."
"Thank you Aridus," said the reporter. "I'm reporting live from Egypt where a crazed homicidal maniac ran loose only a few hours ago." O-o Bakura falls anime style. "We are here at the scene of destruction caused by an unknown man. This pile of rubble behind me is all that remains of several of few the age-old pyramids known to Egypt. Witnesses claim to have seen the maniac destroy the pyramids with a combination of dynamite and petrol bombs. Let us talk to someone who may have seen it happen." The reporter walked over to a robed man in a turban. "Sir, can you tell us what happened here?" The man turned to face the camera.
"Shadi?" Misty falls anime style.
Shadi stared at the camera with his blue hypnotic pupil-less eyes. "The apocalypse has come. Malik is loose once again. The whole world is in grave peril. He must be subdued or all will be lost!"
The reporter turned back to the camera. "Well there you have it, a-"
"Wait a second lady," Shadi said, yanking her back in a very un-Shadi-like way. "I wasn't finished talking!" He looked straight into the camera again. "Ishizu, you idiot, this is all your fault. I told you growing you own vegetables and testing your new fertilizer was a dumb idea; I can't believe you actually made you own brother eat that stuff. And Yami, you dickweed, Pharaoh or not you still owe me fifteen hundred bucks for that bet we made about Yugi and the maraschino cherries. So pay up." Shadi bowed politely towards the camera, then turned with a flip of his cloak and was gone.
The reporter blinked a few times, then regained her composure. "And there we have it. A first-hand look and the devastation that has been caused by a single man. More eye-witness accounts in a few minutes. This is Vacca Merda reporting live from Egypt. Back to you, Mr. Bulla."
"Thank you Vacca! More on that in a few minutes. And now for local news. Federal base Fort Sill reports a recent break-in. Officials report they are missing numerous guns and ammunition, as well as an armored tank. It appears to be the work of a criminal mastermind planning mass destruction, or perhaps a terrorist attack from within our society-"
Misty muted the television and turned to Bakura, lifting an eyebrow. "So, what do you think of that?"
Bakura grinned proudly. "I'm a criminal mastermind. D"
Misty shook her head. "No, not that you nitwit! About Malik!"
"Oh." Bakura frowned. "He'll be here soon. Before daybreak, without a doubt." he scratched his ear thoughtfully. "Chances are he'll arrive within the hour."
"Arrive where exactly? America? Oklahoma? Right here?"
"Erm…" Bakura scratched his ear a little harder. "America, I'd say. He left Egypt several hours ago, and has most likely gained access to an airborne craft. So he'll be here here in about…" -scratch scratch- "Three hours, 27 minutes, aaaand…" Misty pulled out a stopwatch. "…13 seconds."
Misty shuddered. "Great. I guess we should prepare ourselves, huh?"
"Prepare how?" Bakura asked.
"You know…wake up Marik and Ryou, hand out weapons, get in the tank?" Misty suggested with a shrug.
"Sounds reasonable," Bakura said, standing up and stretching. "Shall we round up the troops, then?" He finally stopped scratching his ear.
"No," Misty said, glancing at the television. "You go wake 'em up. I'll keep an eye on the news."
"Fine by me," Bakura agreed, sneaking off in the direction of the bedrooms with a low chuckle. Misty watched him go, then turned her attention back to the television in time to hear the anchorman announce that a search party will be dispatched at first light to look for the missing tank. Misty sighed and flopped back in her recliner, slurping her deluxe frappuchino thoughtfully. Yeah, the tank does sort of stand out… maybe our first order of business should be to hide it somewhere. If only this were some hokey story, then escaping the officials would be so easy… She sighed again. Before she could return to her speculations, a splash was heard, followed immediately by and ear-splitting shriek.
"Ryou's up!" Bakura called.
Misty slapped her forehead and slid her hand down her face, mumbling. A sound behind her made her jump; she turned and saw Ryou stumble into the room. He wore nothing but blue jeans; his head and shoulders were soaked. He didn't look very much alive. "Hey there, dude!" Misty said cheerfully. "You're looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed!"
"Like a squirrel on crack," Ryou yawned, rubbing his eyes. He stretched, grunted, the glared at Misty. "Was it your clever idea to have Bakura dump icy water over my head in the wee hours of the night?"
Misty grinned sheepishly. "I only told him to wake you, I didn't specify how. And it's not night, it's morning!"
Ryou growled, then flopped down on the couch Bakura had been sleeping on a few minutes earlier. "So what are you watching?"
"The news," Misty informed him. "For information on the whereabouts of Malik."
Ryou sighed and smiled. "Mistaya, do you honestly think the news will-"
"It already did," Misty interrupted. "I'm waiting for more eyewitness accounts."
o-o "Oh." He shrugged. "Well, what have you seen so far?"
"Shadi called Ishizu and idiot and Yami dickweed on live television. And Yugi took some sort of dare about maraschino cherries-"
"Wha?" Ryou gasped, shaking his head confusedly. "N- no! No, about Malik!" He shuddered, slightly disturbed.
"Oh. He blew up some pyramids a couple hours ago. That's all I know. There should be more in a few-" Misty glanced back at the TV and her eyes widened. "It's back on!" She un-muted the television, and they both fixed their eyes on the screen.
"And we're back! I'm Aridus Bulla for News Channel 13. Chaos has struck in Egypt, where an unidentified madman ran loose only a few hours ago. We go to our field reporter Vacca Merda on the scene."
"Thank you Aridus. As we continue our investigation of this tragedy, it becomes obvious that sanity is not present with this man. Witnesses claim to have seen him brutally murder a man." Reporter Vacca approached a pair. One was sitting huddled on a rock, his only distinguishable features being his black clothes, white trench coat, and brown hair. Standing next to the man, patting him on the back, was a little black-haired boy.
"Kaiba and Mokuba?" Misty and Ryou both fall anime style.
"Excuse me sir, but did you see what happened?" the reporter asked.
"Yeah, we saw everything, but I don't think we can talk about it. The whole incident has been really hard on Seto's nerves and-"
"No Mokuba," Kaiba sniffled, lifting his head and wiping his eyes. "I think I can talk about it."
"Are you sure?" asked Mokuba, seeming concerned
"I'm sure," Kaiba agreed. He finished wiping his eyes, then took a deep breath. "Ok. Well, Mokuba and I flew to Egypt in my private jet- we were coming to talk to some Egyptian CEOs about establishing and Egyptian line of my gaming company. We arrived a little early, so we were taking a private tour on my private helicopter so we could get a private view of the pyramids-"
Mokuba coughed a little, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.
"And as soon as we landed, the pyramids just exploded and then this crazy guy came running up to the helicopter laughing all creepy." -sniffle- "I- I told the pilot to take off, but the guy ran up and leaped like ten feet-"
"Two feet," Mokuba coughed.
"-ten feet in the air and into the copter's open door and threatened me with a flamethrower-"
"It was a shotgun stupid!" Mokuba said, throwing his hands up exasperatedly.
"Well it looked like a flamethrower, okay?" snapped Kaiba. "Just let me continue!"
"Fine!" Mokuba hissed, turning his back to his brother.
Seto hmphed a little, then turned back to the camera. "Anyways," -sigh- "he threatened me with a flamethrower," -evil eye directed at Mokuba- "and demanded I give him control of the helicopter so he could get to America. I refused, very bravely-"
"You were crying!" Mokuba said loudly.
"I refused very bravely!" Kaiba said, raising his voice, "and he picked me and Mokuba up and threw us out of the helicopter. Mokuba landed on top of me and nearly crushed me-"
"I weigh less than seventy pounds, Seto," Mokuba mumbled.
"He nearly crushed me, okay!" Seto glared evilly at Mokuba again. "Mokuba landed on top of me, and then…" -sniffle- "well, then…" -sniffle, squeak- "oh- oh, it's horrible! Ohooo!" Seto broke down completely and began sobbing uncontrollably into his hands.
"Seto, you're such a baby!" Mokuba exclaimed. He shoved his brother over, rolled his eyes, then turned to the camera. "Alright, I'll finish telling ya what happened. After we got tossed out of the copter, it stayed hovering a few feet off the ground, and I hear this crazy laughing and a chainsaw being revved up. Then something came flying out of the copter and hit Seto in the back." Mokuba chuckled and pointed to the reddish-brown stain on Seto's precious cloak. "Heheh. It was the copilot's severed head. That was kinda creepy. Then his body got tossed, and the blood from his neck was sprayin' all over… that was kinda cool. I guess the pilot got scared by that, cuz the copter took off with the maniac. I guess he was headed right to America like he wanted to."
"Extraordinary! Can you tell us what the man looked like?" asked the reporter.
"What he looked like? Shoot, I can tell you who his is!" Mokuba laughed.
Reporter Vacca looked surprised. "Wh- well, then tell me! Who is this mysterious madman?"
"Marik," Mokuba said promptly. "Marik Ishtar."
"Amazing!" the reporter exclaimed. "Did you get that name, Aridus?" she asked the camera.
"Yes I did, Vacca! We'll have that name run through our database to collect more information."
"Great! Sir, how can we thank-" the reporter turned to address Mokuba, but he was already walking away, dragging Seto by the arm while Seto wailed in a tear-filled voice, "Why are you so mean?" -sniffle sob sniffle-
"We'll have a profile of the murderer in a few minutes," Aridus Bulla announced. "Don't go away!"
Misty turned slowly to look, wide-eyed, at Ryou. O.O "Dear God, I can't believe this!"
Ryou rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Yeah, I never realized Kaiba and Mokuba had such issues-"
Misty fell out of her recliner. "No, stupid! I mean about Marik! Kaiba and Mokuba never got the whole yami/hikari thing, they don't know the difference between Marik and Malik, so now the police will be looking for Marik instead!"
"Yes, that's true," Ryou agreed, "but they both look alike; pretty much everything about them is the same…"
"Except their hair," Misty interrupted. "And their voices. And the whole glowy-forehead veiny-face thing. And their eyes, since Malik has no pupils…"
"Yes, but those aren't major differences," Ryou tried to say.
"My point is," Misty continued doggedly, "that if Marik's picture is posted up everywhere, if Marik and Malik stand side by side it'll be MARIK they'd accuse!"
"Yes, I see your point." Ryou sighed and folded his arms thoughtfully, then looked at the TV and flinched. "Uh oh."
Misty looked at the uh oh and groaned. Marik's picture filled half the screen, and on the other half was his profile:
Name- Marik Ishtar
Height- 5'9"
Weight- 121 lbs
Hair- Blonde
Eyes- Violet
WANTED FOR MURDER AND TERRORIST ACTIONS
"Oh man!" Misty groaned, face in hands. She looked up at the ceiling, fists clenched, and screamed, "This is supposed to be humor, not angst! HUMOR!"
Ryou stared at Misty the way a hawk would stare at a rabbit with a knife. His thoughts, however, were interrupted by a splash and a cry of "What the crap?" Misty looked up, then mumbled something about 'it was only Bakura.' She sighed, staring at the TV screen, where Marik's wanted picture was still shown.
"Can anything else possibly go wrong?" she hissed. As if cued by the question, Bakura entered the room dragging and unconscious form by the arm.
"Um, Misty?" he said, sporting a never-before-used expression of innocent confusion. "Marik won't wake up."
Misty sighed. "I had to ask."
