Living With Maniacs

Chapter 14- An Unexpected and Temporary Armistice

Froggy, introducing yet another chapter. "Yes, it's been about two weeks since it was updated, but give us a break. You can't rush art." -cough cough- "Okay, maybe you can. Thanks for all the reviews, if you report to the bio you'll notice they're being answered once again. Keep it up! The next few chapters might take a little while to be written, cuz it's all being made up as the story progresses. Please have patience and don't' lose interest!"

Malik crawled to his feet, laughing evilly. He did that quite a bit. He'd spent a long time trying to find his hikari and friends so he could fill their pathetic meaningless lives with misery. But it looked like his weaker half was going to fight back. He laughed louder. This was going to be so much fun. "Take us down!" he ordered the pilot.

Down in the tank Marik was breathing fast and laughing hard. "Oh my Ra, did you see that?" he gasped. "Haha! That was awesome!" he tried to take deep breaths, while Misty and Ryou stared at him and Bakura drove the tank mourning over the missed fun.

"Man, that's it! I wanna shoot something!" he moaned. "I haven't shot anything in a long looonng time…Misty!"

"Yeah?" Misty said, not taking her eyes off Marik.

"Do you think you could drive? Then maybe I could go help Marik…with two people, we might be able to take Malik down!"

Misty's eyes lit up. "Me? Drive the…tank? Well…if you insist!" She bumped Bakura out from in front of the controls. "Ooh…isn't this the control for the gun thingy?" She started pushing buttons and pulling levers. "Somebody go see if the gun is moving!"

Ryou stared at Bakura. "What have you done?" he whispered.

Bakura just shrugged and said, "Hey Marik, peek out and see if the gun is moving, 'kay?"

"Okie dokie!" Marik sang. The previous violence had obviously put him in a good mood. He skipped up the ladder -- yes, skipped -- and peeked out the hatch. "Ooh, ooh! It's moving, yup yup yup, it is!"

"Cool!" Misty squeaked.

Ryou flinched. "You're actually going to let her operate this death machine?"

Bakura watched Misty hop with glee and examine the controls, then he shrugged. "Yup. It's not like she's really going to be driving, we're parked for now." He turned to Marik. "So we going out there or what?"

Marik was still peeking. "Um, the copter's landing! Ooh, a closer combat! Maybe not hand-to-hand combat…but weapon-to-weapon sounds good!" He grinned and waved down to Bakura. "Hand the weapons up. Malik is so going down."

Misty glanced away from the controls. "Hey, you and Malik aren't planning to kill each other, are you?"

Marik stared at her with his patented you-poor-stupid-inferior-thing-you look. "Um, let me think…Duh! What have I been wanting to do?" He rolled his eyes, took the bag from Bakura and crawled out of the tank. Bakura followed him closely.

Misty stared after them disbelievingly, then shrugged and spun back to the controls with her hands clasped euphorically. "Look at this stuff Ryou!" she rejoiced. "I wanna run over something…"

Marik and Bakura crouched on top of the tank, watching the copter's careful descent. "All right, here's the plan," Marik said, pulling out his chainsaw. "I'll attempt to engage him in direct combat while you sneak around and get him from behind! A very simple and usually highly effective plan. Agreed?"

Bakura nodded.

"Good. Now hurry. Choose your weapon and try to get behind him while he's not watching!" Marik urged. Bakura nodded again and took his second favorite weapon out of the bag, then dropped off the opposite side of the tank. Marik stood up, slung the bag over his shoulder, and leaped off the tank. At the same time, Malik leaped out of the helicopter (a threat to hunt him down kept the pilot from flying for his life) with his Toybox tucked under his arm.

"Well, well, does little Marik have something to say?" Malik taunted. "I hope it's not a peace offering; I won't accept, and I wouldn't like for our little game to end so quickly!"

Marik smirked. "Oh, it's far from a peace offering, believe me." He and Malik stopped ten feet apart, and Marik dropped his weapons bag. "I say we play a little game. Man to man, chainsaw to chainsaw. Right now."

Malik set his large wooden chest down and started twirling his shotgun. "I don't know what you're playing at, little Marik, but I don't think I like it."

"What's the matter, yami?" Marik said in a singsong voice. "Too scared?"

Malik threw down his shotgun, pulled his chainsaw out of the Toybox, and revved it up. "Scared?" They began circling one another. "You don't know the meaning of fear!" He narrowed his eyes, circling slowly. "Luckily, I'm here to teach it to you!"

Marik only smiled. Malik was circling beautifully and nearly had his back to Bakura. This would be finished quickly. "Well, I'm always wiling to earn, dear Malik. As a matter of fact, I learned the first rule of fair play from you."

Malik raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? And what, oh pathetic one, might this rule be?"

Marik sopped circling and stood up straight. Bakura was slowly advancing behind Malik. "It's quite simple, really."

Malik stopped circling as well and frowned. "Well, what is it?"

Marik smiled. "There is no such thing as fair play."

Malik's eyes widened, and leaped to the side instinctively as a bout of flames shot forth from Bakura's flamethrower. He didn't dodge quickly enough, however, and his sleeve caught fire. The flame spread quickly across his shoulders. Malik reached back, pulled off his shirt, and tossed it aside. "So that's how it's gonna be," he growled. "Fine. Fair play was never my forte." He tossed the chainsaw aside and dove for Marik's bag of weapons.

"Oh no you don't!" Bakura cried, charging at Malik with the flamethrower.

Malik rolled and stood holding a petrol bomb in one hand and a magnum in the other. BLAM! Bakura dropped the flamethrower and clutched his right hand. "Ouch! You shot me!"

Malik rolled his eyes. "Duh. And I'll do it again!" Before he could take aim, however, a resounding boom knocked them all off their feet. From inside the tank shouts could be heard.

"Awesome! Did you see that Ryou, did you? I fired the guns, that is so cool!"

Malik stared at the tank with his eyebrows raised, then rolled his eyes and turned back. He lifted his magnum to shoot, but Bakura was gone. Malik growled, then turned to deal with Marik. Marik had already begun moving, however, running straight at Malik. Before Malik could shoot, Marik dove beside him and snatched the petrol bomb out of his hands. Malik spun around, pointing the gun at Marik, but Marik held the bomb up in front of him. "Shoot and we both die."

Malik held the gun with both hands, scowling. His left eye began twitching.

Behind the tank Bakura was slowly climbing for the hatch, cradling his bleeding hand close to him. He reached the top and saw Marik and Malik standing face-to-face, unmoving. Bakura opened the hatch and dropped down.

"Take that!" Misty cried, jumping at him and kicking him right in the -- "Oh no, I'm sorry! I thought you were Malik sneaking up on us!" Misty apologized.

Bakura answered by putting his left hand over his crotch and falling to his knees.

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Your hand is hurt! What happened?"

Bakura doubled over and squeaked.

"You got shot? Aw, poor thing. Looks like the bullet went straight through. Must've been a close-up shot. Good thing I found this first aid kit in the little compartment underneath the controls." She opened the kit and pulled out some antiseptic and bandages. "Well, I'll fix you right up. Sorry again 'bout that kick. Didn't mean it for you." Bakura flinched as she applied the antiseptic. "So. How's the battle out there? Going well?"

Bakura watched as Misty wrapped the bandage around his hand, then glared at her. "I got shot. What do you think?"

Misty picked up the kit. "So it is going well."

Bakura growled. "Yeah. Sure. Anyways, thanks for fixing my hand. I'm going back out there now." He got to his feet, but Misty pulled him back down.

"Oh now you don't. I'm the doctor, and I say you've lost blood and shouldn't be fighting."

"But…but…" Bakura stuck out his bottom lip "I wanna kill -- er, I mean…Marik needs help! He can't win without me!"

Misty put her fist on her hips. "Hmm. I suppose you're right."

"Yay!" Bakura leaped up.

"-- so I'll send Ryou out to help."

"What!" Ryou and Bakura shrieked in unison.

"Yup." Misty nodded. "Here Ryou, take these." She handed him a pair of uzis. Ryou held them cluelessly while she pushed him to the ladder. "Up you go Ryou, and good luck!" She shut the hatch behind him and hopped back down. "There. Problem solved!"

Bakura glared up at her, pouting. "That's not what I meant when I said Marik needed help. Ryou will probably be more of a hindrance than anything."

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Misty said cheerily. Bakura only glared and pouted.

On top of the tank, Ryou stood, still holding the uzis cluelessly. He stared at one, then at the other, then stared at Marik and Malik. They were still at a stalemate, Marik holding the petrol bomb in front of him, and Malik pointing the magnum at Marik wit his left eye twitching madly. Ryou dangled the uzis at his side disgustedly. "Oh, come on. That is so lame! Malik could easily shoot Marik in the foot or something and just take the bomb from him, then kill him. I guess their inherent blondeness still shines through." He sighed. "I could always help Malik…then once Marik was cut out of the way, since I doubt Bakura's interested, I would have a chance with Mistaya…getting closer to her would be simple if I helped comfort her, and once she got over Marik being gone, she would realize that I had always been the perfect man for her! Yeah, that sounds good!" He started to raise the guns, but he stopped. "Wait. I'm supposed to be the good guy here…yeah Ryou, but all is fair in love and war, and this is both!…I know that, but isn't killing a bit drastic to get the girl in a romance and whatnot?…No way! No man. Come on, you really like Mistaya, don't you? …Wellll, yeaahhh… and you want Marik out of the way since she seems to like him so much, riiight? …Yesss… So just kill 'im! …No!"

Standing a short distance away from the tank, Marik and Malik were starting to watch Ryou out of the corners of their eyes. "What the hell is he doing?" Malik whispered while keeping the magnum trained on Marik.

"Looks like the nut's talking to himself!" Marik said, holding the bomb steady. "I've always thought there was something wrong with him." A slight look of regret entered his eyes. "Y'know, he really doesn't like me for some reason."

"Really?" said Malik with a hint of pity. "Why not?"

"I dunno…well, actually I think I do. I think it's because of Misty."

"You mean the cute blonde with the big --"

"Yes, yes, her," Marik cut him off. Very slowly, as the conversation carried on, their weapons were lowering. "See, he has this huge, obvious crush on her …aaaandd…well, maybe he thinks I like her…"

"But you don't?" Malik asked.

"No!" Marik said. He sighed. "Not like that at least. But I don't know how he would get the idea I like her; I haven't flirted or anything!"

"Hmm…" Malik scratched his chin. Their weapons were now dangling at their sides. "Well my guess would be that he's just plain jealous. You're sexier, you have better hair, and you're a hit with the ladies. I mean, seriously. You share my look, so we're both just plain hot."

Marik nodded agreeably.

"And Ryou…well, let's face it. He's got less color than an invisible roach, he's got horrible hair, and his voice is just so British…and…and…sometimes so…"

"Gay?" Marik offered.

"Exactly!"

"But…but…" Marik sniffled a little. "I don't want him to hate me!"

"It's okay man!" Malik said, putting his arm comfortingly around his hikari. "If he hates you because you're beautiful, that's his problem! Don't you feel bad about it!"

Marik gave him a watery smile. "Thanks man." he sniffled. "I really needed that." He hugged Malik tightly. And Ryou saw.

"Wait, what're you doing? No hugging! You're supposed to be killing each other!"

"They're hugging?" Misty poked her head out of the tank. "Ooh, and Malik's got his shirt off!" CLICK. She snapped a picture, then ducked back into the tank.

"She hasn't taken a picture of me yet," Ryou mumbled. Another reason for him to hate Marik.

Marik broke off the hug. "Ugh, no offense Malik, but you don't smell too good. You're all sweaty."

"Yeah…" Malik shrugged. "I think I'll go take a shower…"

"Hmm…but what about our fight? I was kinda having fun."

"Me too." Malik smiled. "Look. I'm going to go try to hind some of Yugi's lame friends, fill their lives with misery and woe, take a shower, then tomorrow we can start trying to kill each other again. Sound good?"

"Yeah, sounds good. I ought to bathe as well. Shake on it?"

Malik grinned, and they shook hands firmly. "See you tomorrow then?"

"Yup. Fair game at first light. Come hunting for one another?" Marik asked.

Malik nodded. "Sounds great. See ya then!" He strode off, picked up his chainsaw and Toybox, then signaled for the Channel 13 helicopter to pick him up.

Marik twirled the petrol bomb, waved his yami goodbye, picked up the flamethrower Bakura had dropped, then proceeded back to the tank with a happy smile.

Ryou just stared. "What the hell was that?" he exploded when Marik climbed onto the tank.

Marik shrugged. "He needed to shower. We're going to pick up where we left off tomorrow though." With that, he opened the hatch and dropped down into the tank, leaving Ryou standing on the tank all alone. He sighed.

"You're right. I should've helped get him killed…Told you so…Ah, don't rub it in!"