Why do I miss you?

The tears roll down my soft red cheeks,

My mind torn between what is true.

Never know how to see things for myself.

You guys thought I could handle it,

You thought it was for the best.

Whatever you expected did not come true,

I fell apart,

I am in pain,

I am losing my heart, soul, mind and sanity.

Once you guys made me feel special,

Like a normal person, I thought it to good to be true.

Over time my guard had fallen,

My weaknesses exposed,

For I began to trust others again,

Because you guys, you made me feel like I belonged,

I was part of the group,

We all had something generally in common.

But you had lied,

Gave me a false hope for your own selfish purposes.

Why did I listen?

Why did you lie through your teeth?

Acted like you cared about what I thought,

You didn't even care,

You left me in the dust,

You didn't even care about me even when I helped you

I comforted you,

I gave you a place to stay when you were in trouble.

And you repay me by spitting in my face,

Leaving me completely

Telling me the reason is beyond my comprehension,

My understanding.

I tried, I really did.

I asked for you help a last time and you refused.

All I can do now, is search,

Search for my salvation, my soul again.

I just wanted a friend, one that won't leave me on a whim,

I guess that is asking too much.

To have someone to make me better,

Stronger, faster, smarter…

You refused.

But I don't hate you.

I just miss you.

Written By April Jean Elkin, March 28, 2005