Final sequel to the Reaper series. Not that much different from the first and second sequel. Standard warning: random OOC-ness, explicit raw-hormonal degrading non-con sex acts, possible extremities/torture/non-con/rape, foul language, possible PWP, disturbing behaviour, may not suit some DN puritans. You have been warned. But otherwise, just enjoy without thinking about it too much, ne?

Set around chapter 56-57, the night before the Kira killings started again. Some references to ch.38. Also, like the earlier chapters, some references to previous sequels.

BEHIND THE REAPER'S EYES

22:01:55 PM

L:

I didn't dream about it...like I thought I would.

I remembered dreaming about it after the first time Raito and I did the deed...but that seemed like ages ago now.

Instead, I had a dream about a party. A very crowded one. Everyone was there, Raito, Watari, Matsuda, Misa, Yagami Chief, Aizawa, Abber, Weddie, even the Reaper. I didn't see myself there, but I just knew I was the one throwing the party. It was also one of those colourful dreams.

I don't remember my dreams very often. There were many kinds of dreams. Lucid dreams, reminder dreams...premonition dreams...

I suddenly recalled something I've either heard or read a while ago. About this superstition of people from a certain South-Eastern country. Was it Singapore? Indonesia? Thailand? I couldn't remember exactly. But it wasn't that important.

They have this belief about party or celebration-themed dreams. That it meant either a disease, accident, misfortune or death is soon to follow the party-thrower.

Of course I had not much reason of resorting to superstition belonging to a country way down South.

What made my mind come across it, anyway?

My mind was distracted by a soft sound of the door opening and closing. Raito walked in casually, as usual insisting to stay late to go over the investigation.

Was it really his only reasons? Again the thought of being left alone in a room with Raito leading to one thing or another tickled my mind.

To be completely honest, I've somewhat lost track of time since the two ... "incidents" that happened between Raito and me. Although I might have actually played the most part in making it happen, it was quite an experience to digest. Not to mention that the way the investigation was going, we weren't anywhere closer to solving the overall case, albeit finding the other Notes altogether.

All I mostly did the past few days was pissed Raito off.

So maybe my life wasn't threatened at all. So maybe I was being a tad too paranoid. But was I that wrong?

I looked across at Raito, sitting down, face expressionless, going through photocopies of notes. We all agreed earlier today that we'd start looking into all the deaths that had occurred in the Kanto region. At the moment, that was all there was to do. Raito was specifically meticulous about it. I remembered Matsuda complaining about it...

Now for the accidental deaths we will check all of them that have occurred in the Kanto region since Kira appeared. For the deaths by illness, we will check all young people who have died from sudden illness, and look into the areas, their occupations, and from other possible angles, to see if there are any common trends...

Jeez!

Matsuda, quit it. That's the only way we can approach this if another note does exist somewhere...

As for me, I finally did ask the Reaper the question that's been bugging me and resulted in another one of Raito's outbursts due to my own pestering.

This page here has a corner that has been cut off. Would a person die if you were to write a name on that little piece?

I wonder? I've never used it like that so I wouldn't know.

The Reaper was no help. No one was of any help.

And it seemed I've pushed Raito way over his limit. As he did with me too.

It was almost like...the closer I got, the more the evidence betrayed me. Or should I say my hypotheses.

The sounds of flicking paper made me glanced over at Raito once again from the corner of my eyes.

Instead of the theory being wrong, it was more like Raito Kira, Misa Second Kira does not solve the case.

I remembered saying that long time ago, before the whole Higuchi incident.

From the way you say it you sound like you won't be satisfied unless I am Kira!

Another sound of flicking paper, as Raito skimmed through them under his eyelashes.

I'm not satisfied unless you are Kira? I see...that might be true...

I shifted my attention back to the computer screen.

I just realised that...it... it's like...

It could be worse. I could be having another one of those animalistic copulation with the person I suspected was...

I wanted you to be Kira...

God, I needed some coffee.

I put the PC on stand by and made myself some coffee. A blaze of de ja vu washed through me once again as I rest myself on the couch. How many times have I been in this situation again? Sitting on the couch across Raito, enveloped in the temporary silence, until all that latent tension between us exploded, and the moments in between were nothing but a blur?

I wanted him to be Kira? I hated to admit that having my hypotheses proven wrong twice in a row actually got to me to some extent. Is it true that I wouldn't be satisfied until it turned out that Raito really was Kira?

To be honest, he had been acting slightly out-of-character lately. The calm and controlled genius totally lost it to me. Twice. Thanks to me. Not that I actually totally hated it. Was it pure instinct or a high-quality performance? With Raito I could never tell, based on experience. Or was it more a case of him knowing what I thought, acted on it and completely screwed it up to fail me?

The hot mug warmed my palms and transferred the scent of strong, freshly brewed black coffee to my face. I could feel steam started forming around my mouth as I blew over the surface.

I thought about offering Raito some coffee but then decided there wasn't much point, so I went back towards my computer. Raito still hasn't said a word. Maybe he was waiting for me to say something. Like I always did in the past two occasions...

Don't fuck with me...

"…Ryuuzaki." I nearly jumped at the actual sound of his voice. Pre-emptive strike? Funny.

"Yes, Raito-kun?"

"I seem to be missing a copy of hospital reports between week 28-34 in the Eastern Kanto region. Do you have it, by any chance?"

I went to my computer again. "Let me see what I can do."

The fact that I was relieved to be distracted with something else other than Raito was probably not a good sign.

It was really, really quiet, apart from the keyboard typing sounds I made. When I finally found what I was after on the screen, I got off and pushed my chair away, moving towards the couch. "I think this is what you're after. Print it out yourself if you want."

"Thanks." Raito eased himself into the chair quietly.

"I'm assuming you're not going home tonight either." I started, concentrating on my coffee mug once again.

"Can't be bothered now." Then he turned around in an abrupt motion with his inquisitive eyes.

"No, no, I don't have a problem with you staying," I cut off before he even asked the question, which was replied with Raito's ghost of a smile.

Was this going to be another long night? Like those last two...occasions? I had little or no reason to keep suspecting him. And he had every reason to still be interested in the case.

The fact that every single thought of mine was followed by predicting and comparing with his thoughts was probably not a good sign either.

But haven't I always done that? And I bet Raito wasn't doing much different. Then why tonight? He was sitting with his back to me, the clicking sounds of the keyboard and the illuminating screen forming an imaginary halo around his head.

Halo? Are you kidding?

Better change priorities. More importantly now, why did Raito seem so eager on locking himself up here with me most of the days, now that he was free? I was reminded that this was what I've been wondering for most of the day...but pushed it aside every so often to concentrate on the investigation.

I could always pester him about that too, not like I've never done it before...

This time, something was different. I had a gut feeling that's been pestering me too...only a lot less tangible.

I remembered what was running through my mind earlier today. Why does Yagami Raito not try to go out of here even though he is free?

My eyes blinked longer than usual.

No...is he keeping an eye on me?

Maybe it wasn't just the dream. Maybe it was because...

It feels like I'm the one who's being watched now.

I had to take control of the situation. This was getting intriguing.

22:11:11 PM

RAITO:

The choice was mine now. Everything was going so unbelievably well.

Me 1. Ryuuzaki 0. It was a rather childish thing to be thinking at this stage. But I couldn't help it. After all, it was true.

But I didn't want to loosen up. Not yet, anyway. Even though I knew it wouldn't be long now.

I concentrated on the screen in front of me, watching fonts, codes, lines and the occasional images scroll up and down before me...my eyes had to blink more and more frequently. Before I knew it, my lips curled into a slight smile, while I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes without turning my head. It was becoming a bloody habit.

To be completely honest, I could always continue my part of the investigation anywhere I like in my own time. But I chose to be locked up with this freakish being called Ryuuzaki who once locked me up.

I bet my being here has started to get to him. Nah, don't get too flattered, Ryuuzaki. That's not the only reason. I could get access to important and confidential resources a lot easier here.

Not that the former was completely wrong. You think you're the only one who could pester others?

My guess was that not long from now, he would start asking weird questions completely unrelated to the case, trying to cover up his own paranoia about me looking like I was "supervising" him, maybe some (cheap) attack to each other's personal space, and a bit later...

Did you like that, Raito-kun...?

Only difference was, this time I would be the one asking the question.

This time, something was going to be different. I didn't know what exactly, but I had a gut feeling it wasn't going to be like those two occasions...if something was going to happen.

Meanwhile, Misa had regained her memory. The other Note had returned to her hands. And I was pretty sure she'd done the eyeball deal with Ryuuk again. Rem was getting restless.

Of course, it would've been so much more convenient had that little drama queen remembered Ryuuzaki's real name. Not that it hadn't been taken care of.

As I said before, Rem was getting restless.

Time is running out for you, Ryuuzaki.

"Found what you're looking for?" Ryuuzaki croaky voice broke the silence. Well, at least to me, it sounded annoyingly croaky anyway.

"Yeah...almost." He was more than annoying. He was a parasite.

My mind went back to those two nights.

"There wasn't that much for the Eastern Kanto region anyway."

Ryuuzaki pinned down beneath me.

"I wouldn't know. I haven't had a good look myself."

Ryuzaki kneeling down and sucking me.

"Any other reports of possible interest?"

Ryuuzaki panting and screaming Kira's name.

"I think there was one in either week 29 or 30, possibly of homicidal nature."

"Oh." I had to almost force myself to zone back in.

"The guy's on the loose, though. If I remembered it correctly, he had a strong motive and...yeah..." I turned around to Ryuuzaki's sudden discontinued sentence.

"And?"

"Nothing. That's all I remember," He said while concentrating on his coffee.

And I noticed something. Something that one would only notice if they had been so used to be stuck with Ryuuzaki for quite awhile. He didn't usually let his sentences trail off like that. Plus "forgot" wasn't exactly on the list of Ryuuzaki's frequently-used words. At least maybe apart from "Raito-kun".

I could just let it be. But so far being overly anal had been one of my key of successfully fucking up Ryuuzaki's head.

Well then, if you haven't had enough yet, I'd be more than happy to give you more. You can shove all your L-goodness crap aside, and see who's the last one standing. From down under. But as usual, it wouldn't be Ryuzaki you're playing with if it didn't involve any...complications. I had thought about everything. Everything. I couldn't have left anything out. He did.

First, the imprisonment plan was a success...though far from enjoyable. Then, the Note swap couldn't have been more perfect. It was after the whole Higuchi incident that Ryuuaki somehow got caught abit off guard. Although not that much. But I managed to prove him wrong...twice. Even if that meant getting him screwed (pun intended once again). He was secretly getting paranoid. Which was a clear sign of me slowly and gradually getting to him. I had to admit, however, I was quite stunned by the way he tried to prove his theory the first time. I mean, I didn't think he would go so far as...whoring himself out like that. But this was Ryuuzaki we're talking about. Then came the pre-emptive strike of the ripped page. Which I've inferred way beyond.

Again, of course, it would've been so much more convenient had Misa remembered his real name. But then maybe it wouldn't be so interesting. And Rem was a remarkable asset. Plus she had a chance to screw around with Ryuuzaki too, the second night we...

So tonight, somehow (or how I'd like to believe)...

He slipped.

He was hiding something from me, or at least tried to, until he accidentally blurted it out. But it couldn't have been something major, otherwise that just wouldn't happen at all.

It was an accidental opening, but that was all I needed. I could use that space, but I decided to wait...and see if I could get a bit more post-notional support than a mere mis-sentence.

All that screwing did get to his head after all. Even if we had to end up there again, I didn't care so much.

Consider it a farewell present.

Heh.

It's all taken care of.

Doubts about me being Kira and Misa being the second Kira? Check.

Reapers and associated supernatural powers? Check.

Suspicions associated with the ripped Death Note page? Check.

Your time is definitely running out, Ryuuzaki.

There was nothing left to do now but wait. Then the real party will start. Oh, how I was having fun!

So I kept scrolling up and down the stupid computer screen, looking for any suspicious patterns in hell knows how many data there was. What was Ryuuzaki talking about earlier again?

Right, here we go.

Hospital X, Eastern Kanto region. Week 29. Two consecutive deaths. No heart-related disease, though. I scrolled down again. Some additional notes about their finances. Both persons seemed to owe a considerable amount of money to a certain company.

Boring.

So I looked for more info on the company. It wasn't some huge-ass one. Could always be a disguise of something bigger, though. The owner?

Strange. There wasn't any information on the owner. That can't be right. So I searched again.

The computer made a strange faint noise.

Wait a second. A flash of red fonts came up on the screen and annoyed me straight away.

Withheld.

What the hell? Since when did Ryuuzaki's computer do this?

There must be some kind of mistake. Another announcement appeared on the screen.

What the…?

Limited access. Enter password:

What fucking password?

I never had to do that before...at least not at this stage. Wait. Limited access?

What's that supposed to mean? Limited to who...

Wait a minute.

Talk about post-notional support.

I suddenly realised what Ryuuzaki was on about.

He was withholding some information from me. Or at least tried to. Just me? Or other people in the investigation too? But if that was the case, why this computer too? The only ones who use it here are him and me.

Him and...

"Raito-kun."

Before I knew it, Ryuuzaki was only a few centimetres behind me. "I think we should call it a night."

Are you kidding? Since when did he ever "call it a night"?

I didn't know what the hell he was on about, but this wasn't going to be pretty.

I could, of course, just leave it. But didn't I say before that tonight was my turn to do the pestering?

22:30:48 PM

L:

One look, and I could tell what was likely to come up next.

One look, was all I needed to predict what he was thinking.

However, I wasn't all that alarmed. If he didn't find out, then good. If he did, then so be it. Another night, another argument. I've had worse.

This was becoming a routine.

"What does this mean, Ryuuzaki?" Raito's annoyed voice dug into me.

Dammit.

Are you saying that it's a problem if I'm always here?

It wouldn't be...unless I got caught out. It shouldn't have been a big deal, really. But I completely forgot about it and now it didn't look too good. At least not for me.

"It's not what you think, Raito-kun. I..."

"So what is it then? Look, I know you, Ryuuzaki. You wouldn't suddenly seal selected data with passwords..."

It really wasn't meant to be like that. I was simply being cautious after...

"...knowing that this computer is mainly used by only you and me..."

We couldn't take anymore risk. I couldn't take anymore risk.

"...but the truth is you're still worried that somehow I was going to use the Note without your knowing to punish criminals for whatever reasons..."

But I ended up insulting him.

"...so you felt the need to conceal some information on possible criminals or suspects."

Nice work, L.

"Isn't that the only explanation?"

No it's not. What's with me today?

"Raito, let me explain," I started, running my hand across my forehead. "Watari and I decided it would be for the best if we filter out some information...after the whole Higuchi incident."

No, it was more than that.

"So it's been going on for a few days now? Howcome we weren't told about this? Or wait...does the whole investigation team know, except me? Are you ganging up on me now?"

It was a petty little thing. So...childlike.

"Why do you always think the worst of me, Raito-kun?" the words just rolled out of nowhere through my mouth.

"I suppose I could ask you exactly the same question."

Silence for a few seconds. "Look, Raito-kun, I know it didn't turn out well, but it was nothing personal, really."

Don't fuck with me, Ryuuzaki.

"Funny hearing that from you." Was all he said. Contrary to what I heard in my head.

I wasn't myself today. But have I been the past few days?

I apologise. Was probably what should've come out of my mouth.

"It wasn't meant to be a personal attack against you. Whether you believe it or not, that's up to you," was what came out instead. Raito lifted his arms in frustration and got off the chair. I didn't look up. He left me with the luminous blue screen as he flung himself on the couch and heaved a short sigh.

Something was up. Not just with me. With him as well? But how could I be so sure?

"Look, to be completely honest, I don't give a shit anymore about what you think about me." A clear 'I'm sick of your crap' expression written all over his face.

"Personal attack"? He's tolerated way beyond that.

"Raito-kun, it's really no big deal...this is just until I finish doing some de-screening which I can guarantee you will be very soon..."

"It is a big deal if it tampers with the investigation. And why didn't I even notice the whole thing until now anyway?"

"Come to think of it, I've never fully released detailed data on any victims related to the Note anyway. Why making a big deal out of it now?"

"That was bloody different! None of us knew about the existence of the Note back then. Situations have changed since then." He drew in a frustrated breath. "Look, all I want to do is to get back into the investigation, but it's kinda hard with a lack of info," he continued.

"Nothing major that it could tamper with the overall investigation, I'll say just go on with whatever you have, and I'll take care of the rest. This is just a temporary precaution, Raito-kun."

"Temporary, you say?" For a second there I had a feeling it crossed his mind that I was only doing stuff out of convenience...for myself.

"I wouldn't be making shit up even if it's necessary." Although I haven't exactly done much in maintaining that reputation the past few days.

But I wasn't making things up! I didn't do it because I wanted to! It was part of my own personal investigation, my own...

Raito was keeping an eye on me. He wanted to. I could almost relate to that. Half the time I had an incurable urge of dissecting him, poking and prodding on his insides. If this was part of his plan...then maybe there was no way for me to get around it. It felt like he wouldn't be satisfied if he hadn't me under his eyes...

But...

You sound like you won't be satisfied unless I am Kira...

Raito's words from long ago argued its way out of my head.

I'm not satisfied unless you are Kira?

I see. That might be...true?

What was I trying to prove anyway? It wasn't as if I ever needed to convince anyone...

It's like...I wanted you to be Kira...

"If you want to be a half-hearted paranoid ass about it, it's up to you, Ryuuzaki. Just stop messing up my investigation."

That hit me. "Excuse me?" His investigation? Since when did it become his investigation?

"Half-hearted paranoid ass. That's exactly what I said," Raito repeated, mocking grin forming on his face.

For all the years I have lived, I didn't remember ever doing anything half-heartedly. "You're blowing things out of proportion, Raito-kun. Just continue without worrying about the details of a particular data..."

"I'm blowing things out of proportion!"

I thought our main priority is now to study the Note in order to locate the other notes, instead of worrying about some piece of paper that hell knows where.

"I thought our main priority now is just look at all the data in general and detect any unusual circumstances and not worry about little things like profile details." Right back at you. "I'll do the profiling details myself, if that bothers you so much."

"So you're not just paranoid and half-hearted, you're also selfish." Raito added. "You obviously only want to do the bits that are convenient for you."

I shrugged and lightly waved my hands in the air. If he wanted to think so, then go ahead.

Was it really true that I really didn't care? Did I?

This is so not happening. What was it with me and the whole Raito Kira thing anyway?

You sound like you won't be satisfied unless I am Kira...

But it wasn't because of that. Watari and I have managed to seal some selected information away, without anyone in the team knowing, or not really caring. I did that even shortly before the whole Higuchi incident. And then...that thing between me and Raito happened. And it wasn't like I had to justify every single bloody thing right? I mean, it's just...him.

"What's the matter Ryuuzaki, you pissed off or something?" It was more of a blatant confront than his usual sarcastic remarks. "'Cause I keep proving you wrong?"

"I'm gonna make you scream, bitch..."

Dammit, Yagami Raito.

Was that it? The true root of my discomfort, of these never-ending negative pangs? Because I wanted him to be Kira? Because I kept failing in proving it and that very fact was gnawing me from the inside out? I couldn't deny that the past few days since the Higuchi incident and the discovery of the so-called Death Note I had been acting rather out-of-character.

But so did Raito. Or maybe it was all an act.

Which was exactly what. That frame of thinking wrung dry in my brain, cos everytime I was getting closer to something, Raito suddenly tumbled over it and destroyed the freshly-built fragile sand-castle back into intangible dust.

Damn him. Like a virus that mutated along the speed of antibody formation, he kept up with me, strung my whole being so every step I took he outstepped it even just halfway. And just like a virus replicating itself using its host's DNA, Raito assembled his defence by facilitating my hypotheses.

Was screening the data then simply part of a pragmatic procedure, or manifestation of a subconscious futile attempt to interfere with his scheme?

Some scheme I imagined in my head perhaps?

Fuck this!

What have you done to me, Yagami Raito? I wasn't myself around him, at least not recently. He gradually turned me into this...

Did you like that, Raito-kun...?

I was behaving like a...like a...

22:46:00 PM

RAITO:

Whore.

That's how I see him now.

That's all he was to me now.

"No, I'm not, Raito-kun."

I knew that hit. Even for a bit.

I won. Just as planned.

I honestly couldn't care less if Ryuuzaki wanted to put passwords on every single data or not let me touch the goddam computer.

It was at least a slight proof things were starting to get into him. The originally dormant mutated cells had secretly turned into malignant cancer within him. Even if it wasn't, I couldn't help fantasising that it was.

The only thing that annoyed me was how he made it all convenient for him but not for others...perhaps mainly me. But it was more the lack of activity that was irritating me more than anything. I wanted to have a look at the overall data, including the details. Which I could use to my advantage in the future. I mean, who knows if I managed to work out these suspicious patterns in minor cases and then the people involved turned out to be related to Higuchi or at least the Yotsuba mob? I never knew how useful it might be later.

But right now, I didn't have much choice but to savour the moments of strumming his growing paranoia.

His last moments of paranoia.

It was getting to the point where I could hardly wait. It's so close now, but Ryuuzaki just kept lingering around, producing theories after theories that potentially put me to the edge. And I hated him for that. But I bet he hated me more for coming up with a rebuttal. Even if it was deranged.

This little whore was still alive. I couldn't wait for him to disappear forever. And I believed it was mostly why I had been acting kinda out-of-character lately. Although I didn't mind it so much, because so far the rewards had been way worth the dirty work. For some unknown reason, it was like we've made an unsaid secret pact that it is never to get out of the bedroom. It was like I was a different person around Ryuuzaki, and I bet he was too around me.

But I had to admit though, when I fucked him, it felt great.

What was it with me and the whole sex with Ryuuzaki thing?

It was exactly what. If it was with someone else, it would've been just sex. With Ryuuzaki, it was more than just sex.

It wasn't just about the sex. At least not entirely.

"What, so only your judgement counts? No one else's does?" it was the lack of activity and materials to work on that agitated me more than anything.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ryuuzaki, turned around, still half-squatting on the computer desk-chair.

"So, it doesn't matter that some hidden data could serve as the trivial part of finding the other Note, as long as you think it's not safe, no one can do shit-all about it?" I felt my voice growing louder.

"At the moment, I feel that it's for the best."

It was more his made up calm demeanour that did it more than anything else. He knew I had point. "So there's no point in us working together as a team, then." I slammed the pile of paper I was holding on the desk.

"Look, if you just wait, I've said before, this is just a temporary precaution, I'm about to release some new information and make a few announcements to the team tomorrow anyway."

"Exactly what I'm talking about! Why do things always have to be on your terms, huh? Why do things have to be done when you decide they should be done!" I glared at him without bothering to hide my annoyance.

"I have reasons to believe that they were the best course of action at the time!" Ryuuzaki was starting to yell as well.

"Oh, so it's only your reasons that counts! What makes your reasons better than anyone else's? Plus it's not like things have necessarily turned out the best so far."

"Excuse me?"

At this stage he didn't even bother concealing his persona. I was the only person who was capable of forcing him out of his inhuman masquerade he wears around the investigation team. And I was enjoying every bit of it.

"I said even L's perfect masterplan has flaws!" You suck, was frankly more what I wanted to say.

"I never referred to myself as the perfect L with the perfect masterplan."

"Not explicitly, you mean?"

"Look, Raito-kun, I'm working just as hard as you on this case..."

That was an opening I so had to scram through.

"No, you're fucking not! You weren't the one being secretly supervised 24/7! You weren't the one being imprisoned and tied up for weeks to be proven innocent! And you certainly are the one with way more convenience than I am!"

"You had no problem with the whole imprisonment thing back then, Raito-kun! In fact, lest you forget, you were bloody co-suggesting it yourself!" His gaze turned icy, and mine was immediately infected to do the same.

"Oh, like I had any other choice to prove my innocence!"

Burn in hell, Ryuuzaki.

"OK fine, let's hear it. If you think you can do it better, let's hear your say about what should've been done back then. What the hell was I supposed to do, Raito-kun?"

That did it. In my head, it was as if he was saying, "Let's hear it from you now, Mr.Always-Know-Better." The sarcasm was beyond the context. With one hand, I dragged him off his chair and directed a fist to his face with my other hand. He successfully deflected it but landed with a loud thump on the floor anyway.

"Stop fucking patronising me, Ryuuzaki!" I growled and lowered my head. Without wasting any time, he used the opportunity to pull me down by grabbing the lower part of my shirt. I kicked it off, but he abruptly rose up and flung one of his legs towards my face. I fell on my side and forced into a half-sitting position.

"I'm patronising you?" He flared his maniacal eyes and freakish smile at me. "Funny that!"

I got up as quickly as I could and grabbed whatever I could catch of Ryuuzaki, pulling the bag of bones towards me, my waiting fist welcoming his chin. His head twisted to the side with a stiff doll-like reaction. In my imagination, he'd turn his head back again with the same manoeuvre, sporting an eerie smile, like something straight out of an old-school American horror movie.

Damn, he spooks me out sometimes. I pushed him away, he flew off, straight to the wall. I was so tempted to slam his head against the wall and strangle his neck off his shoulders. And I was still in the middle of planning my next move when he suddenly bounced off the wall and charged towards me.

"Ahg!" Ryuuzaki tumbled down on me and tried to restrain me with his bony self. I wiggled around and pushed him over so I was on top. Then he did the same. We wrestled for a while, banging on the couch and knocking the papers off the table after slamming into it. His hands scrunched my shirt so tightly the fabric almost rip, and I pushed him off with considerable force, dragging me with him as he fell to his side, limbs still tangled with mine. For a few seconds we just laid there panting as I took him in. His face was so close before mine, me with my homicidal glare, him with his twisted stare. Sharp strands of pitch black hair framing his face added to his spectral appearance.

I saw a faint turbulence in his seemingly unfazed eyes.

Things were certainly getting into him. Gradual but inevitable. I could almost smell it.

"Why is it that everytime I just happen to have no choice but to conduct a drastic action, to you it was always for the wrong reasons!" he was yelling now.

And why must you always fuck up my plans? Was all I heard coming from him.

I knew then why Ryuuzaki was so irritated. It was like we've swapped positions within one day. He was most likely expecting me to be out of the head quarters most of the time as soon as I was free. But I wasn't. I had to keep an eye on him. On the Note.

Wrong. I didn't give a shit about the Note anymore, at least not in the long-term. All I wanted was to unveil the gushing fear behind that rag doll facade. And then witness life spilling out of him.

So I couldn't afford to take my eyes off him.

He had to feel like he was under suspicion. He had to.

Heh. Right back at you.

"Ow!" With one bend of my right knee, I managed to deck his groin. Our half-intertwined limbs created a tug on my arm and I quickly rolled him over to gain control. He was still wincing beneath me when a wicked image ran through my mind.

Suddenly he gave me an idea.

"I'll show you, Ryuuzaki!" I snarled in one breath, and hauled him up, dragging him towards the bedroom. Ryuuzaki didn't fight too much this time, as if he already expected that things would end up in his bedroom again. Once a whore, always a whore, huh? The slight difference in power was an advantage.

Just like that tennis game on our second meeting.

As soon as we were inside, I spotted it. The chain was still there, sprawled on a small table beside the bed. I did occur to me that he'd keep it as a personal belonging but didn't expect to find it so easily.

You asked for it, Ryuuzaki.

With sudden multi-tasking skills that came out of nowhere, I threw his slightly limp body to the bed while one of my legs swung the door shut. The neon lights added an aura of fictive fluorescence to the room. His bed was still fully-made, not a crease on the sheets. Ryuuzaki's white shirt and milky skin dramatically camouflaged him, the only drastic contrast were his fading blue jeans and jet black hair.

I've been inside that rag doll. I've violated him in the most degrading way possible, or at least I hoped I had.

He just laid there, staring at me through his partly hair-covered eyes. He probably couldn't wait to be fucked...yet again.

"You still haven't answered my question, Raito-kun."

"I'm going to now." Answering his alleged taunts, I made my way to the bed.

He must be somewhat scared now. Or at least disturbed, and anxiously anticipating what's next.

Shit. Fantasising about Ryuuzaki's fears actually made me hard.

Now that was convenient.

Waiting for the end of him was close to driving me insane. And I needed all the distraction I could get. Images of my wicked, deranged idea flashed through my brain again.

Time for feeding your demons, Ryuuzaki.

And the fun begins now.

23:04:50 PM

L:

Raito's figure racing to the light switch was the last thing I saw before absolute darkness enveloped me.

I could hear the faint click of the light switch, and then transported my concentration to the first time he and I had sex. The whole fight-turn-to-fuck thing was becoming a helplessly addictive fetish. And the fact that I kept letting it happening was probably not a good step forward either.

But for some unknown reason, I had a strong feeling that tonight was different than the last two.

You make me hot, Yagami Raito...for all the wrong reasons.

As I tried to work out the vicinity of the situation, without any warning, Raito's mouth came crushing down on mine, hot and wet, soft and hard from the occasional teeth contact, all rolled into one. I tried to look up but there was nothing but pitch black, only the ghostly moving figure I caught at the corner of my eyes from time to time. He sure had a thing about fucking me in absolute darkness...insecurity about the taboo-ness of our nasty yet delightful acts, perhaps? Or simply an expression of disgust? I realised at the time that it was not the first time I had wondered how he would look like, the feral, predatory glare in his eyes as he invaded me deep inside, his ragged but violent breathing as he violated me over and over...

It was like common foreplay, if anyone would classify it to be one. The reaction he induced was almost automatic, instant...maybe that wasn't the right word...it was closer to...obedience. All the dormant apparitions within me suddenly awakened, sensitised almost at once, like an antigen binding to an antibody...one was perfectly made for the other, and the reaction was appropriate. The memory cells did their work, and like a tsunami it drowned me with the sensations I've gathered in the previous nights...

When Raito dammed my air passages at once, smothering me with his moist warmth, the pseudo-asphyxiation was almost enjoyable...and my body grind against his by its own volition. It appeared like Raito was not going to let any inch of me escape, he was going to engulf all of me...every single cell, every single base in my DNA. The stiff fabric of his trousers made scratching noise against my jeans, his hard and dense body focused every single of its weight on me, gluing me to the bed, as if trying to drown me in its hollow surface. I've started to memorise his scent, his texture, the sounds of his breathing...

My eyes suddenly shut themselves tight as Raito shifted one of his knees between my legs, and I couldn't help but being drawn into him more and more.

Was this part of his plan too? Even this?

Relying on intuition alone sometimes brought out the best and the worst result at the same time.

A simple argument. An insignificant little thing.

Raito, you're not being fair. Ahh, if you only knew. How was I supposed to explain an abstract intuition?

What's the matter Ryuuzaki, you pissed off or something?

Was I? For not figuring things out? But figuring what out? That you were Kira?

I never meant to provoke you like this. But what was there for me to do?

So I kissed him back. The blatant feel of his wet tongue, probing and invading me like crazy, but still...I kissed him back. My slow tasting act an absolute contrast to his forceful ministrations. For some reason, he didn't pin my arms down this time, and let them wiggle around him. I lifted one hand up and tugged at his shirt, feeling the flesh beneath it working up on me, contracting and relaxing, with quick movements, overloading me with insistent sensations. His right hand groped me all over, running the rough palms along my sides, moving to the front, and slipping it under my shirt. When he felt a nipple, he grabbed the area around it, hard. His other hand was buried in my hair, grabbing some of it as if trying to hold my head down on the bed. What for? It wasn't like was going to escape anyway.

It feels like I'm the one who's being watched now...

One of Raito's knees moved up and coaxed my groin area. I couldn't help but let out a little noise. His mouth suddenly broke free from mine and started hunting on the flesh in my ears and the sides of my face. I winced as I felt a sudden suction on the lower side of my neck, and that was when his left hand started letting go of my hair and joined in the groping action, but moving more rapidly downwards.

"Ahh..."

There was an unfamiliar air I couldn't identify. The same de-ja-vu-esque air I usually get in my dreams...not excepting today's one.

It was like a sign.

My other hand trailed down his back slowly, wanting to feel even the slightest movement he was making, not even daring to think that he'd strip off any of his clothing except shifting it a little bit to be able to...to...

Did it satisfy him doing this to me in the absolute darkness like now? Did he get enough of...watching me?

I wonder how Raito's eyes were looking at me now, had it not been so dark...his piercing gaze, as if ready to swallow me whole. I could only visualise it in my mind.

Something was still lingering inside me. It wanted tonight to last forever, never wanted it to end.

"Uhhh..."

When Raito's hand rubbed against my forehead, the dream flashed before me again. The party I hosted in my subconscious. Faces of people...for some strange reason, it became more and more vivid.

Abber and Weddie smiling, lifting up their marguerita glasses.

...he was batting my hand away from him, letting sprawled to my side.

Watari had a tray of champagne bottles and glasses.

...he wouldn't let me feast on his skin.

Aizawa and Matsuda were arguing about something.

...So he kissed me again. But this time his other hand busied itself tugging at the fly of my jeans.

Misa and Yagami Chief were laughing at a joke.

...I kissed him back, feeling him smile against my lips, the hot and sweaty reality of his skin made me even hotter.

And Raito. He was just standing there, seemingly out of focus, but I could tell he was talking to someone.

...His tongue jabbed into mine yet again.

Then I realised he was talking to me.

...My hands broke free and wrapped around his head, feeling the unbelievably silky strands of hair.

But I couldn't hear a word he was saying.

...His nails accidentally scratched the skin around my pelvic bone, and I writhed reflexively.

Maybe it was a reminder.

I slipped my other hand under his shirt, reluctantly, carefully...

...if anything happens to me after tonight.

Raito's skin felt taut, but warm and moist with sweat.

Because after tonight there may be no more.

And maybe, just maybe, I would get at least part of the answers to the conundrum that was Raito, instead of merely his tension turning into inevitable lust.

I turned my face around, so he was away from my mouth. "Ra...ito-kun..." I tried to whisper in between heavy breathing and muffling against Raito's touches.

Show me.

"What is this thing...you want me to know..."

He didn't answer. But what he did next was beyond everything I had expected.

23:26:03 PM

RAITO:

Did Ryuuzaki feel that his time was approaching?

I knew that in the last 2 occasions he'd always been submissive and accepting whatever I was doing to him. Tonight was even more so. His touches may simply felt like admiring, shy and gentle, careful at the same time. But the more I looked into it, the more it felt like obedient and worshipping. Not that I could see much.

His ghostly cold hands wavered around me, spooky and creepy crawly. I could sense the occasional trembling, but it just made me hot all the more. He was questioning, and I knew he had to be on almost his last legs to have come up and ask. Or maybe it was simply impatience.

I had his hips between my thighs, feeling the inevitable hardness beneath me, it was difficult not to notice. I tightened my grasp while still working on him.

I was actually ashamed to realised that I've been hard since we first started arguing. This was getting ridiculous.

Awhhhh...Kiraaaa!

Haven't I degraded him enough?

To think that I had to go to such lengths only to satisfy my need of taking everything out on him. Everything.

I shifted him beneath me and dragged his jeans down to his ankles.

Maybe I wasn't exclusively humiliating him.

I heard a sharp intake of breath as the manoeuvre resulted in me brushing against his sensitive area.

He was humiliating me.

No! I said, NO!

I realised that this has come at the most inappropriate time. Reflexively I shook my head and shove the thoughts away. Ryuuzaki was still under me, stiff and almost robotic, but anticipating...

It was now or never.

Showtime, Ryuuzaki.

Oh well, maybe I'll answer his question. I bent down and whispered in his ear, "First, I'll show you what it's really like to be me."

With that, I tore away every single fabric that covered his limp body. Which was not an easy task to do in the dark. But hey, I've done it twice before, why shouldn't it work now?

Now really comes the hard part (Pun unintended). I knew I saw the chain when I first walked into the room, but I still had to fumble in the dark to reach for it. Bending over to the side while still straddling Ryuuzaki, I started searching for it. Bumping into edges and surfaces became a short nuisance. When I finally grabbed a hold of it, it made a loud clanking noise, dragging along the surface of its current position. I pulled it swiftly and...

Did you like that, Raito-kun?

Now is not the time.

Dragging Ryuuzaki down slightly, I started untangling the chain, feeling around the cold and heavy metal, trying to separate its ends.

You like it rough, don't you, Raito-kun?

Shut up, Ryuuzaki! I said SHUT UP!

23:32:45 PM

L:

I felt Raito's movements stop for a second. For a while, all I could hear was the clink-clink noise of the chain. I could feel it hanging right on top of me, where Raito was holding it, the cold metal air drifting on my naked skin. Another millimeter and the hard cold material would've startled me.

What was he thinking?

First, I'll show you what it's really like to be me.

Were we going to play a game? I was quite embarrassed to admit that the anticipation only made me aroused all the more.

But what was with the sudden stop? The silence only emphasised the sound of my slightly panting breaths, leaving me naked and exposed under him, enveloped by terrible lust in pitch dark.

I wanted him to continue.

I wanted him to show me whatever it was that he wanted to show me.

Maybe I wanted him to fuck me.

But when I slowly lifted my head up to get a picture of what was going on, I felt a cold hand suddenly slamming down on my mouth, forcing me to lie back on the bed. That's when I realised what he was planning to do with the chain.

The next thing I felt was both my hands being pulled over my head, and the clink-clink of the chain became louder, hitting the bedpost, the cold metal tightening around my wrists.

Raito was tying me to the bedpost. Surprise, surprise.

"Raito-kun...wha..."

"Sssshhh!" he hissed quickly with one hand grasping both sides of my chin. The next thing I heard was sounds of ripping fabric. What was he up to?

Then he kissed me again. A hungry, passionate and intense kiss, as if he could contain himself anymore. Then he drew back for a second and whispered with a lustful tone, "It's OK, Ryuuzaki, just relax..."

He lifted the back of my head and wrapped something soft and familiar around.

My shirt? Or whatever was left of it? I was guessing it was the sleeves.

He was gagging me!

"...This will be good for you, I promise..." he whispered again, mock affection in his voice, as I felt the dry fabric closed around my mouth, muffling my helpless panting breaths. "Mmhhh..."

I couldn't do anything to stop it, with my wrists chained to the bedpost. But at this stage, I didn't really want to anyway.

Another sound of ripping fabric. This time quicker than before. And I felt Raito lifting my head again...

He was blindfolding me.

It wasn't like I could see anything much anyway. Shamelessly enough, I was too turned on to care. Next thing I felt was Raito getting off me and stepping out of the bed.

Wait...where was he going?

I was just trying to guess what he was up to when a streak of light pierced through the white fabric of my shirt which covered my eyes. My skin was so sensitised by then that I could almost feel the warmth of the neon light enveloping me.

Suddenly it hit.

I didn't like this.

It felt...uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.

You want me to fuck you, fine, I'll fuck you right here, right now, you son of a bitch

I wasn't liking this one bit. there I was, naked and exposed, tied up, gagged and blindfolded, fully available for Raito's private viewing pleasure. Not knowing what he was going to do. Totally...uncontrollable.

I was fully there at Raito's mercy.

Which reminded me...where was he? I couldn't even work out where he was. I turned my head helplessly from side to side, hoping to catch a glimpse of his figure, his shadows, whatever...

But there was nothing except blank, endless white.

Was this it? Was this gonnabe the end of it all?

One thing's for sure though, I wasn't gonna like where this was going.

To make matters worse, my erection was still intact. It was infuriating!

"Nghh...nnn..."

"Not really pleasant, is it?" Raito's voice came out of nowhere. But he must've been pretty close, because the next thing I felt was his cold fingers tilting my chin towards a random direction.

"Well, look at you now."

Stop talking.

"I've never seen anything quite so stunning."

Please stop!

"I know you like watching."

I don't now.

"So, how does it feel to be watched now?"

You want me to fuck you, fine, I'll fuck you right here, right now, you son of a bitch.

Raito, no...

What was this feeling?

For the first time in my life...after a long time...I felt...

Scared.

But why? What was the worst that could happen? At least after this...

The fear was still there, I could almost sense it lingering in the air around. I didn't know what was going to happen. Something as simple as a possible random sex act scared me more than anything tonight...

And now it was all quiet. Too quiet, in fact.

Damn. Now I wanted Raito to say something. Now I couldn't stand the silence. Because there was nothing around me but white emptiness, and the only noises were made by me sliding on the sheets. And I hated to be the only one making a noise. I could almost hear my heart racing like mad from the outside.

Was it just the potentially rough sex? It couldn't be. If I could stay calm and contained at the direct exposure of Kira's sadistic plots and tricks...

It was more than just the exposure.

It was the humiliation involved.

Clank!

My helpless movements created a tension on the chain and made a really loud noise. And that added touch of reality really did me in.

You like that, bitch?

I've totally lost it. I wanted to scream. But all that came out were muffled cries that sounded like dodgy moans.

And it only made things worse.

23:40:07 PM

RAITO:

The eyes that were penetrating, poking and prodding at everything were no more.

The mouth that voiced a thousand intricate questions was disabled.

The skin-covered bones that crept up on anything were imprisoned.

From the way you say it you sound like you won't be satisfied unless I am Kira.

I see...that might be true...

I just realised that it...it's like...I wanted you to be Kira...

What can you see now, Ryuuzaki?

How do you feel now?

You're scared of me now, aren't you? Just like that time. The first time we argued and beat the crap out of each other. "Lost motivation" my ass.

You were wrong. Then you were pissed off.

And now you were scared shit.

But it's about to get worse. You just wait, Ryuuzaki. I'd make sure it was going to be as excruciating as possible.

I climbed on the bed slowly, feeling the mattress dipping lightly with my weight. A surge of anticipation made him shifted a bit to one side. There he was, naked, exposed and totally disabled. Gagged and tied, he was totally under my mercy. How does it feel now, Ryuuzaki? How does it feel to be so naked and exposed, for others to see, others you can't see? Do you like being watched?

He was writhing helplessly from side to side, arms way above his head, chained to the bedpost. The black cold metal a total contrast to his pasty white skin. Traces of faint bruises adorned the sides of his pelvic bones, where my fingers would've been a few days ago. His jet black hair dishevelled around him, again a contrast to the two lines of white shirt pieces wrapped around his mouth and eyes. His legs bent upwards, trying to cover his modesty, which was now fully engorged, flushed pink, leaning against his pale hollow stomach.

"You like being watched so far?" I whispered once again as my hands grabbed on his ankles, pulling his legs down. He fought back a bit, but when my other hand moved up his crotch as a warning, he stayed still again. I could see his face contorting against the blindfold, his panting breaths muffled by the gag, and it made me hot all the more. Now his head was tossing from side to side, and I could hear what sounded like a whimper. But I wasn't planning to end this anytime soon.

"Good. Neither did I." A bruise of a smile pulled the ends of my lips upwards, especially seeing as beads of sweat started forming around his forehead.

The fluorescent light in the room only accentuated his paleness. Suddenly flashbacks of the past 2 nights started roaming back to my head.

Ryuuzaki naked and panting beneath me, as I thrust into him.

...If we become one...

Ryuuzaki kneeling down in front of me and sucking me.

...To tell you the truth, I think you're Kira...

Ryuuzaki screaming Kira's name as his body gave up.

...Until then, the only part where I was joking about is doing it with the lights on...

Heh. The joke's on you now.

So when I dragged him back to lie back properly, I wasn't joking. When I climbed on top of him, straddling his thighs, I wasn't joking either.

It felt...oddly good.

Where should I start?

Bending down and coaxing his mouth through the gag sounded like a good idea at the time. So when I did, and my fingers found that little crease through the white linen as his mouth was being forced open, I knew he wasn't going to reject it. Ryuuzaki was dying for any contact. Any contact. It felt almost...spiritual. That I was this close to him yet I was never going to find out anything more about him, only as far as the little white fabric would stretch.

Ryuuzaki writhed beneath me yet again, his arms hanging at the cold black metal over his head, the contractions in his party white skin as he moved blindly, unsure of which direction to go as he was only going to end up grinding against me.

Unsure of whether he really wanted to pull away from me.

His breath was warm on my fingers, emulating within the white cloth, viciously absorbing through it. To think that I had his exhalation at the edge of my fingers...it was an incredibly arousing experience. being in control of him, physically...sexually...

I was so hard I was starting to worry about coming in my pants, but strangely enough, I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

...Only to bump into the reality that the truth about L was still unknown to me.

And it was infuriating!

Next thing I knew I was pulling my zipper down and moved up across him without even thinking about it too much.

"Who's my little whore now?"

23:53:17 PM

L:

Maybe it really was the end.

"Ahk!"

The sudden pull at the gag came as a surprise. And just as when my mouth was adjusting to the paper-dry sensation mixed with the linen aftertaste, I felt something shoved up against my lips.

It was cold but warm at the same time, hard but soft...foreign but familiar. As I turned my head away, it followed me along, sharp and insistent, forcing its way into my mouth.

I felt my eyes widening...although not much.

I've tasted this before. It was Raito's taste.

I struggled to shout out a "No, Raito, stop!" but all that came out was uncomfortable gagging, choking sounds.

Suck me, bitch.

I didn't want to...but it was like there was another soul somewhere inside who betrayed me.

But what scared me more was how unusually quiet it was around me. I could hear the faint squish sound of Raito's...intimacy, so to speak, and the scratching sounds of the sheets. There was still nothing but empty white around me, the previously bright discomfort was now slightly covered with moving shadows. I winced as I forced myself to take Raito in...intense, bittersweet, and terribly despicable.

I felt his hands holding himself steady, continuously pushing in, and I couldn't help but choking a few times. I tried to scream through Raito's hardness, my muffled sounds echoing in my head and made Raito's hardness slightly vibrated in my mouth. Then he started moving in and out ignorantly, as if he didn't care if I sucked or not. As I slightly tightened my lips around him, I could hear a sharp intake of breath.

This was it.

The ultimate degradation.

I couldn't think of anything lower than what Raito was doing to me. If that's what he intended to do, then he got what he wanted.

Raito continued to move on top of me, now his other hand moved up and held my forehead, pushing back strands of hair that half-covered my eyes.

...Was it me who let all these things happened?

Raito's pelvic bone was on my chest, the rough fabric of his jeans brushing against my nipples.

...Did I really wanted to manipulate everything as to see how far he would go on seeking some sort of revenge against it?

His warm, slick and engorged hardness was probing my mouth with teasing force, and I couldn't help but started to suck along, hoping it might get better.

...To think that he had to resort to this, was I getting to him that much? Or was it simply blatant, irrational sexual tension?

He started moving faster, as if it was still not enough. As if by torturing me more and more he could changed what already happened in the past.

...Is that true, Yagami Raito? Have I really fucked with your head so badly that this was the only way you could fuck me back?

Drips of thick, salty liquid started flowing inside my mouth in a thin stream, building up along with my own saliva, forcing me to swallow for abit.

...Did you want me to have a taste of your ordeal to the very essence? Which one should I start with?

His tightened grip around my forehead made me wince, while the smooth texture of his slick, soaked flesh continued slipping in and out.

...The prolonged violation of your privacy? The endless suspicion? Or was it the...

"Unghhh...!"

Without warning, Raito exploded in my mouth. His hot seeds sprayed every corner of my mouth, and a violent gag response overcame me. I could feel tears forming in my eyes and soaking through the blindfold. Raito pulled away from me while I turned my head to the side, coughing and spitting out every drop of Raito's protein, staining the sheets. Some of it dripped along the piece of linen used to gagged me, now circled around my neck. The air around me suddenly filled with a strong, raw, and metallic smell. But it was still organic at the same time. He didn't come as much as the past two occasions, or at least that's how I remembered it.

I was still catching my breath when Raito's placid weight suddenly came crushing down on me again.

Next I felt his face lowered against mine, and quickly shifted to the side, teasing my earlobes fervently before finally hissing, "I'm not finished yet."

With that, I knew what was coming. And as I expected, he pulled my thighs apart, grabbed my hips with his strong hands and rammed himself in. He hasn't finished cumming before, his erection was still full and hard, soaked in my saliva and his own protein.

"AAHH! Oohh...!"

I wasn't ready for that. But the sudden numbness down there was a helpful pre-emptive strike, as my mind returned to the past two nights. It didn't last long, though. Raito was taking his sweet time fucking me that I felt like I was being split open. Every thrust into me was beyond any sensation threshold, and I couldn't help making helpless noises.

Which I hated so much.

And it was the start of a new dilemma. It hurt, so deliciously it was overwhelming. But I wish he'd grow more and more violent, so as to cover the noises I made. I wish he'd rub against the sheets harder, or breathe harder, fuck, even put my gag back on. Anything to drown my own noises.

I was burning down there, front and back.

But strangely enough...I didn't want him to stop...yet. As if stopping meant that he realised it wasn't going to be any good, so he'd leave it at that. As if stopping meant that it was the end for the whole show. To me, the show of frustrated Raito Yagami trying to vent it all out.

Why do I keep getting the feeling that this was the end of the road? A last rite? Something beyond it all? That after this there will be nothing left for me to...to what?

I felt a sudden tight grip around my weeping hardness, pumping me briskly...and it didn't take long before I came myself, messy and hard.

And I knew that by then, it was all I could take.

I gave up.

Maybe tonight really was going to be the end of it all. The end of...me. The end of me vs Kira.

I couldn't even remember when exactly Raito came for the second time.

I wanted out.

23:59:59 PM