Disclaimer: The OC's are mine. I guess I'll have to be satisfied with that.

Routines and Recollections

Chapter 7

"I hear you dined with the family last night."

Ari stared at Dr. Kim Saruka for a moment before answering. "Yes."

Kim waited for her to elaborate and when she didn't, asked, "So what did you eat?"

"Curry chicken."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"I wasn't very hungry, but it was okay." Ari fell silent then and after a moment Kim smiled.

"Do you realize that you were in the same room with a man for half an hour?" she asked.

A faint look of surprise crossed Ari's face. "It was only half an hour?"

Kim couldn't help laughing. "It must have felt like an eternity to you, my dear. Still, that half hour was a tremendous accomplishment. Why do you think you were able to manage it?"

"Mokuba was there," she said simply.

"He is a really sweet kid, isn't he?"

"Yes," Ari smiled. She liked talking about Mokuba. "I don't know how to explain it, but when he's with me, I just kind of feel like I'm home. Does that make any sense?"

"It makes a great deal of sense," Kim agreed. "Children are born innocents, completely non-threatening. They see the world in a way that we often forget and remind us of those carefree days of our youth. I've been told that you and Mokuba were very close before the accident, so I am not surprised that he is the one you feel the most comfortable with."

"Before the accident," Ari murmured. "Why is it no one will tell me anything about who I was before?"

"Would you believe them if they did?"

Ari stared blankly at her and she continued.

"It is not wise to force the memory, Ari. It responds best to stimulus through the other senses: a familiar scent, voice, place, things like that. We want you to remember who you are, not be told it."

"Do you know who I am?" Ari asked and Kim frowned.

"There is much that Mr. Kaiba will not share with me, but I do have the understanding that you had suffered a traumatic experience only a month before the accident. I also believe that you are a strong woman and very determined. Do not let your fears and the unknown discourage you from moving forward, Ari. I think dining with the family is a great way to confront these fears, though you may have to force yourself to do so."

"I couldn't hardly eat," Ari admitted. "I was so anxious, so afraid that he would…"

Kim leaned forward slightly. "Would do what, Ari?"

Ari shivered and rubbed her arms against an imaginary chill. "I don't know, hurt me I guess."

"Physically, do you mean?"

"Yes…and no." She shook her head in frustration. "I don't know. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Okay, it's okay, Ari." She reached out and patted her hand. "Only you can make yourself confront these things. Remember it is always your choice."

Ari nodded mutely as the woman stood.

"I think that is enough for today. You are doing very well, Ari. Your memories may still be lost to you, but I think you are well on your way to discovering just what kind of person you are. I'll see you in a couple days, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, Kim."

The doctor offered her a pleasant smile before exiting the room. Almost immediately in the hallway she was accosted by Seto Kaiba. She had come to expect this as he made certain to always be around when Ari was having a session.

"Well?" he demanded.

"No memories have returned, however I think we have made extraordinary progress regarding her phobia. Dining with the family appears to have been a successful endeavor. Mokuba seems to have a sedentary effect on her and as long as he is with her I believe we may be able to expose her to situations never before possible."

Kaiba frowned thoughtfully at her words.

"Not the prognosis you were expecting?" she asked with a tilt of a perfectly sculpted brow.

His frown turned into a scowl and she dared to chuckle softly.

"Patience, Mr. Kaiba," she reminded him. "Patience will keep your sanity. Now if you will excuse me, I have a conference to attend."

He nodded gruffly and stepped aside for her to pass. Patience will keep my sanity? Just trying to be patient is driving me insane!


There were only two place settings on the dinner table, for her and Mokuba alone. Ari wanted to ask but couldn't. After the two past weeks of family dinners, which she had been unable to eat anyway because the mere presence of a blue eyed glacier made her stomach do somersaults on a high-wire, she had somehow come to accept it as a part of her routine. Routines had become unimaginably important to her, as she had nothing left to base her life on. Having them interrupted was immensely disturbing and inspired an anxiety more akin to her lack of memories than the phobias.

For once, the meal was pleasant and she was able to clear her plate, much to Rory's delight. The plump cook fussed incessantly over Ari's absent appetite, chastising her for not trying to make an effort when she had the chance. She was a happy woman that evening when Ari actually asked for desert.

But despite her ease, the delicious food, and Mokuba's ever enjoyable company, her eyes continued to stray to that empty chair until they had done so so many times that Mokuba could not help a secret grin.

"He's away," he said suddenly and Ari quickly returned her gaze to him.

"Excuse me?"

"Seto had an out of town meeting," Mokuba replied. "That's why he isn't here tonight."

"Oh," Ari said. "I hardly noticed." Why should I notice? It's not like he ever says anything, just sits there and picks at his food, eating less than me while reading the stock quotes. It's like we're in separate worlds despite being in the same room.

It's better when he isn't here. I don't feel anxious and self-conscious like he's watching me when I know he isn't. I'm not afraid and I'm actually able to eat my dinner. I'm glad he isn't here.

Her gaze flickered to that empty chair again. So why do I feel like something is missing?

"He'll be back tomorrow," Mokuba told her.

"Of course."

"You used to go with him, you know."

Ari's head snapped up and the expression that flashed across his face told her he was never meant to say so much.

"I used to travel with him?" she asked and his gaze fell to his plate.

"Um, yeah. But we can't talk about that, okay Ari?"

I'm sick and tired of everyone else knowing more about me than me! But with a resigned sigh, she let the matter slide. She didn't want Mokuba to worry anymore than he already did over his slip up. Maybe Kaiba will tell me, if I could ever find the courage to ask him. The circle seems to keep coming back to him.

Her eyes flickered once again to the empty chair. I must have been an important employee, if I traveled with him on his out of town business. But I wonder how many employers would take such an active role in the lives of their employees should one suffer an accident as I had? I was told it was work related, but I get the feeling that his responsibility goes so much deeper than that. Mokuba said I lived here for a while before the accident. My bedroom has a familiar feel to it unlike any other room in this house, so I believe him.

Who am I? Who am I to Seto Kaiba? And why do I suddenly miss his oppressive silent presence?

The next night there were three place settings. The anxiety returned but the empty feeling was gone.


"This picture is incredible," Ari murmured in wonder. "Did you draw this, Mokuba?"

He glanced over his shoulder at her standing on the far side of his room staring at a picture frame hanging on his wall. With a soft chuckle, he turned back to his computer.

"No, Ari. You did."

I drew this? It was almost photographic in quality, the two Kaiba brothers standing not quite back to back, the determination trademark to their family clearly evident in their eyes yet Mokuba maintained his innocent cheer and Kaiba his formidable glare. The artist had truly captured them.

"I didn't know I could draw," she said softly as she stared at the picture. It too failed to trigger any sense of familiarity, just like everything else.

"You should see the one hanging in Seto's office. It's amazing. I don't know how you ever managed to draw—oh crap! No! No! Don't do this now!"

"What?" Ari turned swiftly only to find him tapping his keyboard furiously.

"Aw gee! A virus! I don't know how I got a virus when I've got the latest in firewall protection. I just lost my entire exposition for history!"

"Is there any way it could be fixed?"

"Seto might be able to do something with it, but I know he won't have the time…say, Ari," he turned in his chair and looked up at her. "Why don't you take a look at it?"

She stepped back uncertainly. "But I don't know anything about computers."

Mokuba grinned and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the offensive machine. "You know more than you think, trust me. It couldn't hurt to give it a try, could it?"

"Well, I guess not…"

There was no explaining it. Her fingers acted as though they were independent of her body, conspiring with a portion of her brain that refused to let itself be known as she searched the computer's base programming. Numbers and letters scrolled across the screen in rapid sequence the eyes could barely make sense of. Suddenly she stopped and stared at the screen, her fingers hovering over the keys in stillness.

"Did you find something, Ari?" Mokuba asked when she said and did nothing for two whole minutes.

"This program… it looks familiar. I've seen this before."

Mokuba remained silent, biting his tongue to keep from blurting out what she needed to realize on her own.

"For some reason I feel it should be more complicated. These sequences are too simplistic to sustain a program of…of…" she faded off when she realized she didn't know what program she was thinking of. She just knew there should be deeper commands, other…levels.

"There are similarities," Mokuba said carefully, "but this is just a personal computer so its programming is simpler."

"I know this," she stated softly and then turned on him. "Mokuba, why do I know this?"

"Because you wrote it, Ari," he said reluctantly. He had been hoping she would remember, but the fact that she had remembered something was enough for him.

"I'm a computer programmer?"

"You are so much more than that, Ari," he smiled. "But yes, that is one of your talents."

"And my job at Kaiba Corp?"

Another off-limits topic. She had a knack for hitting on them. "I can't talk about that, Ari," he told her sadly. "I promised Seto I wouldn't."

Ari frowned at the mention of the name. What is that man keeping from me? What doesn't he want me to know? Does he even want me to remember my past or is it better for him that I don't?

Reluctantly she turned back to the computer and continued. "Here it is, Mokuba. It wasn't a virus. It was a worm. They're a little different and this one seems to be attracted to a specific sequence in your firewall. I'm guessing you had it for awhile judging from the damage. Just give me a few minutes and I'll wipe it out and repair the damage."

Ari was shocked to hear those words coming so easily from her own mouth, but did not try to retract them as she had a feeling deep within that this was well within her capabilities. Her fingers and that mysterious part of her brain made short work of the damage and soon she was scavenging the lost exposition and suffering a barrage of "thank yous" and hugs from the ecstatic Mokuba.

She couldn't have been aware then how something seemingly so simple could induce such rapid changes. It was like a door had been thrown open, and she was not entirely prepared for the other side.

"Ari fixed my computer," Mokuba had stated proudly at dinner.

For the first time in weeks, Ari found herself looking into those cold blue eyes, and she didn't run. His gaze seemed to have the opposite effect on her, stripping her of the strength required to flee. Almost instantly those eyes turned to Mokuba and for the second time since waking from her coma, she heard him speak.

"What was wrong with it?" Even, emotionless, deep, strong. Ari felt an unnatural shiver inch its way up her back, one that should have been more frightening than thrilling.

"I caught some kind of a worm that had eaten away at the firewall and it attacked my exposition, nearly wiping it out. Isn't that right, Ari?"

She kept her eyes on her plate, swirling patterns into her pile of mashed potatoes. "Yes," she murmured softly.

Mokuba continued as if she had never been hesitant at all. "So I suggested that Ari try to fix it. I had thought it was a virus, but she found that it was a worm instead. You should have seen it, Seto. She was scrolling through the base commands like-like a fish through water! It was amazing! Then she wiped out the worm, repaired the firewall, and salvaged my exposition!"

Seto allowed his glance to travel to her down-turned face. Throughout the conversation she had become intensely fascinated with her plate.

At least some things haven't been forgotten. "Impressive," he said, knowing that Mokuba anticipated a reply.

Silence followed for a moment and all seemed content to poke at their dinner quietly. Mokuba glanced from his brother to Ari and bit his lip thoughtfully. It couldn't hurt, he decided.

"She remembered."

Seto's head came up sharply and the gaze he fixed on Mokuba had a flickering of life that had been absent for months. "What?"

"When she was working through the program, she started to remember something. It was familiar to her, but she said it wasn't quite right."

"What was wrong with it," Kaiba demanded.

The silence that followed was excruciating and Ari was keenly aware of the two sets of eyes boring through her.

"Too simple," she stated softly, refusing to raise her gaze. It was one thing to be in the same room with him when he remained silent and almost non-existent. She had come to be used to it. It was another thing to stare into those fierce eyes and still another entirely to actually exchange words with him. This meant she was forced to acknowledge his presence, and accept it.

"I think she was remembering the complex version she created," Mokuba added for her.

"I see," Kaiba replied and that ended the dinner conversation much to Ari's relief.

What difference did it make to the man that she had vague recollections of a complex sequence of numbers?

Two nights later, Ari and Mokuba's place settings had been moved one seat closer to the head of the table.