Disclaimer: I'm really running out of creative ways of admitting how destitute I am. YuGiOh is not mine.
Cold Fire
Chapter 8
It snowed. Ari felt as though she were a mere ten years old as she watched the fluffy whiteness cascade down from the gray skies. A slight breeze accompanied the snowfall and the branches of the barren trees in the gardens swayed gracefully. Bundled in a warm sweater and jeans, Ari reclined in the window seat watching in peaceful solitude. Had she wanted a closer view, she could have stepped out onto the balcony extending off her room, but she preferred the warmth and coziness of the window.
The snow must have started falling early in the night, for the gardens were already framed in a thick blanket of white. So peaceful, so comforting, so—
"It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing!" Mokuba bounced into the room like a rabbit on speed and she could only laugh at his enthusiasm.
"We have to go out and build a snowman, Ari!" he declared as he collapsed beside her on the window seat out of breath.
Outside? In the six weeks that she had been with them, not once had she dared to set foot outside. The security guards were outside. Rarely did they set foot inside the Kaiba mansion, that leaving Seto Kaiba as the only man she had to be wary of encountering. But outside was a different realm entirely.
"I don't know, Mokuba…"
"Oh come on! It's the first snow of winter and just look at it! It's perfect for making snowballs and snowmen! Please, Ari! Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaassseeeee!"
Now how does one say no to that?
"Okay, Mokuba, okay," she relented with a slight smile. I'll be with Mokuba. He will keep me safe.
Apparently she moved too slow, as Mokuba pushed her aside to burrow in her walk in closet to find the boots, gloves, scarf, and hat she never knew were there. Sufficiently bundled up, they left the drab world of the Kaiba mansion for a white enchanted realm.
The snow crystallized on the bushes and trees, extending the white radiance higher into the sky. Ari could have spent the whole day gaping at the wonderland had Mokuba not launched a fervent snowball attack. Then it became war.
Laughter served to entice any who heard it and hers had a most undeniable allure. Eyes were drawn to the small snowbound war and smiles flickered on otherwise granite faces. From his home office window, Seto Kaiba was no less affected. Watching her with his little brother, he could almost forget the true nature of the circumstances. Finally the two had exhausted themselves and flopped down into the snow to catch their breaths.
Sometime during the skirmish Ari had lost her hat and her long hair, more brown than golden when the sun failed to shine, splayed out around her in the snow. She was the image of a fallen angel, her cheeks rosy from the cold against a too pale face and lips redder than a rose. As if by some unearthly sense, the expression on her face changed to one he recognized. Her gaze turned towards the mansion, searching for the person or persons she sensed to be watching her.
Kaiba stepped away from the window and never knew if the motion had drawn her gaze. It seemed he was making good use of his home office ever since Ari had returned from the hospital. He liked to be around when Dr. Kim Saruka visited, that he might hear something positive about Ari's recovery. So very often he had been disappointed. Mokuba had been the one to bring him good news.
The fact that Ari had remembered something, no matter how insignificant it seemed, proved that she could remember. It was there and it only needed a little coaxing to bring it forth. Her tolerance for him had become almost unbearable, because he wanted so much more than for her to just tolerate him.
It was agony to sit with her each night at dinner, her eyes never meeting his, her words always given to Mokuba. It seemed ages since he had last tasted her sweetness, held her softly against him and breathed of her scent. His memory was beginning to fail him and he no longer knew if she would feel the same in his arms, or taste the same in a kiss. She was both living and dead to him.
Sitting at his desk, he opened the top drawer and gazed at the two boxes within. He pulled out the smallest, opening it somberly to stare at the jewel within. A gorgeous 3 karat marquis cut Harry Winston diamond winked at him. It had taken him forever to pick it out, but when he found it he knew it was the one, regardless of the six figure price. The diamond was flawless to the naked eye, its perfect clarity shattering and twisting light into countless sparkling colors. And yet Ari's lack of perfection put the magnificent gemstone to shame.
It was her damnable obstinacy that he loved best. Fear didn't prevent her from standing up to him and from the very first moment she had done so he needed to own her. It had been a grueling battle and she was a devious one, making plans behind his back, keeping secrets like a dead man. But in the end he had won the battle, or so he thought until he realized that his dear precious possession had come to possess him.
Kaiba smirked. I may have won the battle, but she definitely won the war.
His thoughts, his heart, even his dreams. She was all he ever thought about and when she put her foot down about returning to her apartment, he thought he would snap. He hated that he had to wait until he got to work to see her every day. Sure it got him to work a lot earlier than he was used to, but then he had to wait impatiently for her to show. It was all he could do to keep from snatching her into his arms when she did.
A man simply could not live like that and being a man who always got what he wanted, Kaiba had determined how. Diamonds were supposed to be a girl's best friend, but that day it was going to be his. Then he lost her.
The box snapped shut on the ring and he placed it back into the drawer where it had stayed since the accident. Its companion box was ebony with white lotus flower engravings overlaid in mother-of-pearl. He had bought it for her to keep her treasure safe when she slept at night. Being a simple girl, Ari didn't crave being showered with gifts but had been ecstatic with the box nonetheless. He retrieved it from her apartment just a few days ago.
Opening this, he pulled out the delicate solitaire diamond necklace and dangled it from his fingers in reflection. The memory bound to the jewel was bittersweet, their first kiss. With amusement he recalled how desperately afraid she was that he would realize then that she had fallen in love with him, so she bit him. True he had not initiated the kiss out of love, but he had enjoyed it far more than he should have. But the jewel had been given in good faith, because he knew she deserved it and he knew she would love it and…he wanted to make her smile. It was the beginning of something great.
If a computer program sparked her memory then maybe this will too, he decided as he placed the necklace back in its box with unnecessary care.
Mokuba snuggled next to her under the blanket they shared before the roaring fire in the living room.
"I just knew it!" Rory declared as she carried a tray bearing sandwiches and two steaming cups of hot chocolate to the bundled pair. "Frolicking about in all that snow and you having lost your hat, Ms Ari. It's a wonder you didn't catch your death!"
Mokuba giggled as he grabbed a hot mug and curled his cold hands around it. "You worry too much, Rory."
"Thank you, Rory," Ari smiled as she accepted her cup.
The older woman grinned. "Well, I can't say it didn't agree with you, ma'am. With them rosy cheeks of yours, I've never seen you look more alive. It's quite becoming, you know."
Ari blushed and tried to hide it behind her mug as the woman set down the tray and left them to their camaraderie.
"You had fun, didn't you, Ari?" Mokuba asked after a moment.
"Yes, Mokuba. I certainly did," she smiled and selected a sandwich from the tray. "It's nice to forget sometimes."
His confused expression made her chuckle.
"I mean forget that I've forgotten. Sometimes when I'm with you I forget that I don't know who I am."
"Is that a good thing?" he asked hesitantly.
Ari couldn't resist ruffling his crazy hair. "It certainly is."
They spent an hour beside the fire, chattering away about this and that. Mokuba never seemed to run out of conversational subjects, which Ari found comforting since she was limited in what she could bring to the table. As the fire began to die down, they became aware of the time and decided it best to return to their rooms to finish whatever needed finishing (Mokuba with his homework and Ari cleaning up the mess he had made of her closet) before dinner.
El Jiura helped her, as her duties as a nurse seemed less required since Ari seemed well protected from the triggers of panic attacks for the time being. El liked her books, so she spent most of her time in her room next door, reading.
"What time is it, El?" Ari asked after awhile from amid the pile of shoes that was slowly taking form into rows again.
"Just a few minutes before seven, ma'am. Perhaps you should ready yourself for dinner."
Ari nodded and clambered up from the floor. One thing had been made clear to her early on, and that was that Seto Kaiba was a punctual man. Crossing to the dresser, she picked up her brush and removed the tangles from her hair. She usually kept it pulled back, but had left it down to better protect her neck from the cold snow. When it finally decided to cooperate, she set the brush aside, her gaze locking on something she was certain had not been there before.
The box was exquisite and looked very expensive being made of ebony and mother-of-pearl. I know I would have remembered that if it had been here before. The minutes ticked by and finally curiosity won out and she opened it.
Cold fire. Love and hate, pain and joy, images of beauty beyond her reach, the despair of a secret needing to be kept…all washed over her like cold fire. The diamond winked as if it knew everything she longed to know. Her fingers sought the stone and it was warm to her touch as if it had drawn the heat from a passionate heart and imprisoned that fire within its many fractures.
"Whose heart did you capture," she whispered softly to the jewel but it only winked at her, laughing in its own language.
"Ari," El broke into her thoughts with concern. "You are going to be late."
"Oh!" Ari dropped the necklace back in the box and closed the lid. "I forgot!"
She was only slightly out of breath when she reached the dining room. She was greeted by Mokuba as if she had arrived right on time. Not a comment was offered by Kaiba. He seemed especially intent on his newspaper tonight.
Ari was only half aware of what Mokuba said, at times offering a belated reply so that he might not notice her preoccupation. She wanted nothing more than to hurry back to her room, to that beautiful and obviously expensive necklace. It seemed to affect her somehow and she suspected she should be familiar with the jewel. Had it been hers? If so, where had it been all this time? Who put it on her dresser? Mokuba? No, he would have done something so secretive. Could it then have been—
Why? Why would he give her something so precious and valuable?
Dinner could not have ended soon enough and Ari bid goodnight to Mokuba with veiled eagerness. When once again alone, she removed the necklace from its box and stared at it, trying to make sense of the feelings it invoked.
It was unlike anything she had ever felt. Her room and Mokuba fostered familiarity, the computer induced memories, but the jewel inspired feelings one experienced in the expanse of a lifetime and not in a single moment as she did now.
She could not resist clasping it around her neck, the now cool stone settling just below the hollow of her throat as if it was always meant to be there. Turning to face the full length mirrors in her closet, Ari blinked several minutes at her reflection, seeing an emerald green velvet dress where her sweater and jeans should have been. Her shoulders were bare but when she raised her hand to confirm this reality, she felt cloth beneath her touch.
The softness of her hair on the back of her neck told her it was down, but her reflection wore it up with curls dangling about. The woman in the mirror was beautiful, but her pale eyes were sorrowful. A secret lay within, one that must be kept for desperate reasons, but when she touched the diamond around her throat, her smile glowed with a warmth few were ever privileged to possess.
Ari was drawn towards her, mesmerized by the reflection and wanting so much to be that woman because despite the sorrow of the secret she must bear, she was happy to bear it and Ari so longed for some happiness. I want to know who you are. Why are you sad? Why do you glow? Who gave you this diamond? How did it find its way to me? Do you know who I am?
She reached out to touch the outstretched hand of her image and as their fingers met, the illusion shattered and all that remained was an incomplete woman in a soft blue sweater with a diamond too glorious for one as plain and empty as her to wear.
Longingly, her fingers slid down the length of the mirror and she sighed. I suppose I will never know.
With that she ventured into the closet to change into her pajamas for the night. There was still much to be straightened after Mokuba's furious search earlier in the day, so after changing she took a moment to finish the task. Some garments had fallen off the hangars and she reached into the back of the closet for fresh hangars rather than try to find the ones that had been lost. Her hand grazed plastic and for a moment she froze. What could be hidden back here?
Pushing the clothes aside, Ari stared at the dress wrapped securely and waiting for a second chance to see an evening of enchantment. She stumbled back in surprise and rubbed her eyes fiercely, afraid to believe what she saw. It was real. The elaborate stitching, the gorgeous color, was not something of her imagining. The dress was in her closet.
She must have lived here, the woman I saw, except that if what Mokuba said was true, this has always been my room. That woman was me!
Ari hesitantly turned away from the closet and turned the light off, slightly unnerved by this new truth. More than a truth, a memory. She had seen into the past and the key had been the gem at her throat. Those feelings of love and hate, pain and joy, the longing and the secrets had all been hers.
What is it to feel if I don't know what I feel these things for?
She sought refuge in her bed, allowing the comfort of home that she derived from the silk covers to form a barrier between herself and the uncertainty. It was becoming clear to her now that two women had resided in this room, this place. One was complete with all the emotions that made a woman whole and those emotions lived within a beautiful cold stone that the empty woman sought to make her own.
Ari curled her hand over the stone, pressing it against her chest as if this might ensure the emotions would seep through to her lonely heart and turn her into the woman she had seen in the reflection. Tell me who you are. I want to know who you are, no matter the price! And she would pay the price.
