Shouri: Here's chapter three, and this is where I think it starts getting really funny! BTW! Thanks to my friends Kei and Sai, for the background material for this fic! And Sai! I hope that infestation of spider's is finally out of your car! Love ya! Enjoy guys!

ROADTRIP!

Chapter 3

Quatre grips the steering wheel tightly and prays fervently under his breath, shoulders hunched up around his ears in tension as he drives. To his right, Duo is shifting restlessly. Frequently. In fact, he is moving to a new position exactly every 3.8 seconds. Precisely. It's almost like he has it timed. Heero certainly has, after all! And it is driving Quatre crazy!

Well… it's not just Duo's inability to sit still that is overwhelming the usually peaceful Arabian's sanity. No, not entirely. Rather, it is the faint whimper of pain, or the winded gasp that occurs just after the shift happens, courtesy of his stoic partner. It is the soft click as Heero… HEERO FOR ALLAH'S SAKE!... repeatedly depresses the stopwatch's buttons to record the time between each shift, and the grouchy muttering in Mandarin that is occurring from somewhere behind his head. It is the crinkle of plastic bags within Duo's knapsack, an ever increasing number of empty, crinkly bags that get louder as he relieves more of their brethren of their snack contents, and the squeal of rubber against glass as the toes of Duo's sneakers scuff across the windshield.

And the conversations! If you could call it that at all, since they seem to have timed this as well! In fact, if he hasn't lost count…

"I'm bored!" Duo whines. Trowa lets out a soft sigh, possibly one of exasperation, but more likely one of relief, since Duo's comment has necessitated a brief halt in the torturous shifting.

"We are all bored, Maxwell. Deal with it." Wufei growls in a very irritated voice. Quatre perks up. He sounds different than the last 13 times this has happened. Instead of indifferent, he sounds vaguely pissed. Quatre can see Duo pout out of the corner of his eye.

"But I'm bored! Are we almost there yet?" Duo practically wails, making Trowa wince at the volume.

"Hn." Heero grunts "We are not almost there yet. There is approximately 6.2 hours remaining until we reach our target destination."

"But that's so long!" Duo mourns. Quatre winces, as everything once more falls silent. Well, as silent as is possible, for exactly 3.8 seconds. Then Duo twists sideways in Trowa's lap at precisely the same instant as Heero clicks the stopwatch, shoes thunking on the dashboard. Trowa lets out a wheeze, his emerald eyes crossing, and Wufei curses softly under his breath before returning to his monotonous grumbling.

'Here we go again… 257 'shifts' till the encore performance, Allah save me…' Quatre whimpers desperately as he merges onto another highway… now that he thinks of it… all that chanting Wufei is doing reminds him suspiciously of a prayer…

'Allah, please just let us survive this trip… thank heaven this cannot get any worse!' Quatre thinks loudly, throwing a quick glance upward in entreaty as he smiles weakly.

His smile quickly dies on his lips, and his cerulean eyes widen in horror. A strangled noise escapes his throat and he throws himself backwards into his seat back, arms stretched out to the maximum to maintain his hold on the steering wheel while the rest of him tries to get as far away as possible.

"Q?" Duo asks, breaking the cycle so suddenly that the other boys have to pause to let the change sink in. Quatre whimpers again, a strangled keening noise.

Descending with all the sinister intent of Hell's most devious demon, a spider crawls eerily down the windshield, inching its way closer and closer to Quatre's white knuckles.

"Oh! Look at the little spider!" Duo laughs. Behind him, Quatre hears an odd choking noise, but is too busy staring at the eight-legged fiend approaching his skin to identify who made the noise.

"Duo… get rid of it!" Quatre wheezes, pale in face and trembling. Duo looks at him and blinks his wide cobalt eyes in surprise.

"You're not afraid of a little spider, are you?" Duo wheedles teasingly. Then he stops and blinks again as he takes in Quatre's frantic nodding.

"You are! Heck! How can a notorious Gundam-pilot be afraid of a teeny-tiny spider!" Duo laughs. Quatre glances at him quick enough to offer a rather intimidating glare, before once more locking eyes on the menace.

Still laughing, Duo scoops up a napkin, drops his feet down to the floor on either side of Trowa's, and leans over, crushing the tiny arachnid against the glass, and scooping up its remains into the tissue. Quatre relaxes with an audible sigh, and for a second everything is peaceful and still.

But slowly… ever so slowly… an evil smirk spreads across Duo's face, and he twists so that he is sitting sideways in Trowa's lap, facing the driver's seat. Wufei twitches in the back seat when he catches sight of the look on Duo's face, and opens his mouth to offer a warning. Trowa, whose entire field of vision is taken up by Duo's profile, only has time for his eyes to widen, before Duo acts.

"Look, Q! The evil little spider is all gooey!" Duo laughs, shoving the napkin under Quatre's unsuspecting nose. Quatre jerks as if someone had prodded him with a cattle-rod. A desperate squeal escapes his throat, and his hands tighten convulsively, swinging the car in a weaving motion that causes Wufei and Heero to collide with muffled curses, and Trowa to yelp as Duo grabs his shoulder with his free hand and accidentally kicks him in the shin, trying to keep his balance.

"DUO! GET IT AWAY!" Quatre shrieks, car still weaving dangerously.

"WINNER! STOP SWERVING!" Wufei bellows. "Thank Nataku this highway is so empty right now!" Heero merely grunts, but the sound is covered up by Duo's mischievous cackling.

"But look Quatre! It's just a little spider! It can't hurt you, it's already dead!" Duo laughs, pressing the napkin close to Quatre's face once more, and making the blonde shriek and jerk more violently.

"DUO! THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW ALREADY!" Quatre cries wildly, trying to straighten out the car's trajectory. With a mild snarl, Heero wriggles loose from his space between Wufei's hip and the boxes on his right, and lunges forward between the front seats, hiding a wince as his left leg tingles, informing him of the fact that it has suffered from poor circulation for the last four hours. Quick as a striking cobra, his hand snatches Duo's wrist, and plucks the napkin from his fingers, crumpling the edges over the mushy corpse and crushing it into his fist.

"Pull over, Quatre." Heero monotones at the driver, hand still gripping Duo's wrist tightly. Duo looks at him with wide eyes, and smiles a somewhat nervous smile, trying to placate him.

His breathing slowly slowing, Quatre complies with Heero's order, wondering weakly what his comrade is planning.

Shouri: Well? What do ya think? Review please! Tankiwa!