A/N: I don't know if I am going to get the chance to update this one again for awhile. I am going to be taking a break from writing and this is one of my stories that I didn't finish before I started posting it. I was aiming for something different than what had been done, to change things up a little and take a route that I hadn't seen done before. For those who enjoyed it thanks for the reviews. For those who didn't well what can I say… it's a story nothing more nothing less.

Chapter 7: Black and White

Abby walked slowly home and as she walked her mind kept drifting back to that day that her and Carter had sat and had coffee while they talked. About how that box had held his hopes and his dreams for the future. What were her hopes? She found herself asking as she strolled along the river's edge on her way home.

Abby needed to clear her head. There were so many thoughts that she had going on at once in there it made focusing on any one thing a near impossible task, but somehow walking along the river always brought her a form of peace. Maybe it was because she had walked this very stretch so many times and it had worked in the past that she continued to do it when things got difficult.

Trying right now, things were not difficult, they were not hard; it was all just extremely confusing. She didn't want to hurt Carter, she knew that. But she wanted to be able to do something that she had earned. She hadn't gone searching for a new job, it had come to her, and that said a lot about the person that she was slowly becoming. Being able to put her insecurities behind her and move on with the positive aspects of her life. Somehow she knew what her hopes where, she knew what her dreams where, but could she have all of it moving away? That was the one question that she couldn't find the answer to even by the river.

She just kept walking now almost to the point where she was wandering. She found a bench and sat down, to pause for a minute, to try and get her mind to slow down. He had taken the news almost like she had expected him to. She knew that he wasn't going to be happy with it. Yet somewhere inside her she almost half expected him to at least pretend on some level that he was. She let out a sigh; she was no closer to having any answers now than she was when she set out.

She had to choices, it seemed so black and white, yet each choice would lead her in completely different directions. One held a path that would take her from Chicago, open up new door that she never imagined could open for her. The other would keep her in Chicago, her life the same and she would pass up a great opportunity. The more she thought about it the more clouded the decision seemed to become. The pros and cons of each decision weighted heavily upon her mind, she was going to have to do one or the other, and there would be no having both in her life.

She knew that it wasn't a good sign to find herself rethinking a decision that she had already made her mind up as to what she was going to do. She had fooled herself into thinking that Carter would be okay with this, that everything would work out in the end. The only thing that Abby knew, she knew in her heart, was that she didn't want to be alone. If she took that residency in Huston that is exactly what she would be, alone again.

She pulled herself up off the bench that she had been sitting on. Her eyes going out over the water. The moon reflecting off the smooth water, could she really leave all this behind and basically start over again. She had no friends in Huston, she could always make new friends, but she had friends here in Chicago. She'd be farther away from Maggie and Eric taking the position. Could she really handle being that far away if something was to happen again? While there wasn't much that she could do for them in Chicago if something was to happen at least she was just a few hours away and could get there a lot easier from Chicago than she could if she was in Texas.

"I thought that I would find you here." She heard a voice say snapping her from her world of thoughts.

"Yeah." She softly replied turning her head to see Carter standing there next to her.

He wasn't looking at her but his eyes were out over the water now too. As if it was something captivating that drew them both in. Abby had to admit even to herself that there was something peaceful about looking at that water.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I've been better." She replied back again, there wasn't much behind her voice as she spoke, concentrating more on what she was thinking than talking with him right now. Abby didn't want another fight that much she knew and she was afraid in a way that they would start yelling at each other again.

"I know." Came his almost instant reply. "I'm sorry." He said to her now turning from looking out over the water to looking at her.

Abby and Carter's eyes met. There was something about those soft brown eyes of his that could instantly melt a person's heart. You could see just how much he cared. For his passion for life, for his friends, for those he cared about always shone in them. He wore his emotions on his sleeve he always had.

Neither of them said anything for what felt like several minutes, standing there just looking at each other. Not thinking the same things. Carter was thinking that he needed to be supportive of her; Abby was wondering how she could simply let all of this go.

Carter leaned forward and placed a small kiss on her forehead. He didn't know what to say or what to do with all of this. He knew that he hadn't been overly supportive of her decision when she had told him and he needed to be. She needed his support and this time he was going to be more willing to give it to her.

"We'll make this work," he said, his voice barely carrying over the sounds of the night now. "we'll make it work."

She leaned against him as she took in what he had just said to her. Part of her was now screaming don't go, don't leave all of this behind, the other part of her was saying that she would be insane to turn her back on this, that she needed to go.

Carter looked down at her now, he could see the sadness that shown in her eyes. He could feel that she was upset and he didn't know how to make it right. He didn't want her to turn down an opportunity like this just to make him happy, especially if in making him happy she ended up making herself miserable.

As hard as it was for him he managed to force out the words so that she could at least hear them if nothing else, "you need to go." He said his voice soft, trembling, holding a sadness in it as he tried so desperately to let her know that he was as okay with this as he could be, "don't turn this down."

Abby was almost in shock when she heard him say that, after being so upset with her in the restaurant here he was now telling her to go. Her mind spun out of control again. "Are… are you…" She was having trouble getting the words to come out of her mouth, "are you sure?"

He looked down brushing her hair back behind her ear with his hand, "yes I'm sure." Carter was surprised at how easily that had come out.

"I don't have…."

Carter cut her off, "no you have to go." So simple yet so hard to say. He might not have wanted her to go but her happiness was most important to him, and the way that she talked about it, she had made it seem as if this was important to her. "This is something that you want, something that you worked hard for, and you off all people deserve the chance."

She was silent not knowing what to say now that he had said that. While this might have been important to her, he was too. She would have a lot more thinking to do about this than she thought. "You know I always thought that I would like Emergency Medicine, but while I was on my psych rotation I really enjoyed that."

Carter let out a soft laugh, "you know what I can understand that. Deciding on where you want to spend you career is definitely hard. Sometimes what we think we really want to do is not what we first chose."

"Really now?"

"Yeah I mean at least you are discovering that early rather than later." Carter gave her an understanding glance, "I thought surgery was where I wanted to be when I started but I loved the ER. It was hard to start over again, being an intern again, well that was just…"

"Not your favorite part?"

"Not really but hey what can I say, I love what I do now, you just have to find your niche too. It's there Abby."

"I know your right." She replied giving him a soft smile, "I just don't know anymore."

"This position, it's in psychiatry?"

"Yeah it is." She said looking at him. "Do you think I am making some huge mistake?" She had to ask.

"That I couldn't tell you." Carter replied honestly. "You have to do what you like to do. If you liked psychiatry then by all means you should give it a chance. I liked surgery but just couldn't see myself doing that. I'm a lot happier in the ER. But that's me not you. The hard part is over, well kind of. You've gotten through school, you've passed the boards, now you just have to find where you want to go from there. Deciding where you want to spend your future is, well I think the hardest part."

"It's a big decision, one that I'm going to have to think some more on."

"You've only invested a year. Granted that's one of your five down, but personally I think that it's better to change your mind early in the game rather than later."

"That you are probably right about." She said, "nothing is ever black and white anymore is it."

"No, there's a lot of grey in the world. You can second guess yourself for the rest of your life, but if you think that this is something that you want then you have to take that chance and go for it. We all have to take chances, that's just part of life, if we don't then we never know what might have been."

"Do you have any regrets about changing?" Abby asked.

"No," Carter answered her, very firm with his answer, "I couldn't see myself doing anything else."

Abby nodded, he seemed to know what he wanted and found the guts to go for it. She just needed to make her decision and feel confident with it. Something that she never seemed to be very good at. She found herself thinking about everything that Carter had said to her now.

"Come on you're tired, you look like you are about to fall over, let me walk you home." Carter said his arm falling naturally around her shoulders as he started to guide her back towards her small apartment.

She didn't fight him as he led her back towards home. She just stayed lost in thought as she let him guide her so that she didn't have to think about where they were going, she could concentrate on other things.

When they reached the apartment Carter walked her up the stairs and then all the way to her apartment door, so that he knew she was safe at home. "Goodnight Abby." He said placing that soft delicate kiss back upon her forehead. He wanted to give her something more but that was as far as he dared take it right now.

She looked up at him, her eyes holding more than she thought that they could. She was always the kind who could keep everything bottled up inside of her, not letting it out unless she wanted it out. She felt like she needed to say something, to do something, anything to let him know what he had come to mean to her again. While she never thought that they would make it back to this place, starting to slowly grow closer to each other again, this time she would be the one who was putting this giant distance between them.

No matter what the reason she didn't feel as if it was the right thing to do, to start to get so close to him again only to leave once more. Fate had deemed it right that they worked their way back to each other, yet it didn't seem to want them to stay that way. Only time would tell what would happen between them.

She finally found the courage to say anything, "goodnight Carter." She returned his kiss by placing it on his cheek this time. And pulled him into her for a soft hug. That feeling of security was still there with his arms wrapped around her.

Carter pulled away from her and turned to head down the stairs with out another word. They had lost each other once, found their way back and he wasn't going to lose her again. He would find the way to make a long distance relationship work, there had to be someway that they could indeed make this work. Something that would allow Abby to spread her wings have her independence but at the same time allow two lovers to reconnect and stay connected.