"How did you meet Adam?" Richie was asking Buffy a little later on that night. Adam, Duncan and Joe had retreated into their own corner leaving her and Richie to talk and generally get to know one another. It relieved her slightly as Adam's presence confused in ways she didn't understand. Duncan and Joe seemed nice enough, but she wasn't sure she could trust them not to turn her into the council, so she maintained her distance. Richie on the other hand, reminded her so much of Xander, it was impossible to dislike him, or distrust him. He had told her that even though he was immortal, he was almost as new as she and that comforted her a great deal.
She was currently explaining, minus her reasons for running away of course, how she had gotten off the bus and been immediately accosted by an immortal bent on taking her head. She described how she had disarmed the man, but Adam had killed him and how that had affected her, not knowing he would get back up.
"That must've been a shock." Richie commented. She nodded, knowing he hadn't meant it in any way disrespectful to her abilities as a slayer.
"Yea. I'm trained to fight demons, not kill humans." She paused, trying to force the all too familiar image of Angel from her mind. "I ran. And he followed. And then he kidnapped me."
"Seriously?" Richie chuckled slightly as she nodded. "Well, Adam hasn't always been subtle," he mused. Buffy smiled.
"Look, I know you immortals are all about swords and challenges," she started, hoping that Richie would understand at least partially her reluctance, "but I'm just not prepared for that. I know that sounds stupid, cause I'm the slayer and I've been fighting since I was fifteen, but if you had any idea what I've....I'm done. I can't do it anymore, and I can't pick up a sword. I just can't. I know Adam probably thinks that in time I'll decide to, but I just can't. I have to make him understand that somehow."
"Hey believe me I get it." Richie told her. "I mean, before I became immortal...well I would watch Duncan and I just thought it was so cool you know? I thought being immortal would be an adventure all the time and because Duncan always seemed so confident I figured that's how'd I'd be if I were immortal. But then I died, and became immortal, and....well I was wrong. I'm not a fighter. I don't like conflict and I hate killing. I never realized how hard it was before. It always looked so...glamorous. I'd give anything to put my sword down. I've wanted to so many times..."
"Why don't you?" She asked, knowing his answer would impact her, regardless of how much she wanted to deny it.
"Because this sword, as much as I hate it, keeps me alive." Richie told her grimly. "I hate the game. I hate everything it's about. And I wish to God I could grow old and die like everyone else. I wish I could have children. I do everything I can not to fight, but if I want to stay alive, this sword is my only hope if I get challenged. I'm no slayer. I can't defeat an opponent without this. I hope you don't lose respect for me because of that."
"If I did, I would be a hypocrite." Buffy told him. She regarded him carefully before asking her next question. "If I can ask, how did you become immortal? I mean, you said you died..."
"I was shot." His answer was short and bitter. Buffy knew there was more to it. "Duncan's fiancé Tessa was kidnapped by some psycho ex watcher who wanted immortals dead. He lured Duncan there to try to kill him. Even though Duncan told me to stay home, I followed him anyway. Duncan killed the looney toon watcher, but told me to take her home so that he could research the guy. As we left the building we were mugged by some kid on drugs. He shot both of us. I woke up, Tessa didn't."
"I'm so sorry," Buffy said sincerely. "That must have been tough on you."
"Not as tough as it was on Duncan," Richie replied. "I think he was even a bit bitter towards me afterwards. Even though it had nothing to do with her, I think part of him was angry that I had survived when Tessa had to die. She was his whole life. She and Duncan were the closest thing to parents I ever had. And I had never seen two people so in love. I'd swear they were soul mates, you know? That must sound incredibly stupid to you, but..."
"Believe me it doesn't," she replied, suddenly very much eager to know more about Duncan MacLeod. "He must have been devastated."
"He's never gotten over her." Richie said with a shrug. "It's been a few years since, and I can tell whenever he thinks of her that he never will. And for a guy who's been around for over four hundred years that's saying a lot. I think you get one you know? One true one anyway and she was it. It's not fair that she was mortal."
"The world isn't fair." Buffy replied, her mouth set in a grim line. She sighed and looked over to where Duncan and Adam sat, lost in conversation. Joe had gone into the back room, presumably to look up information to confirm his theories as to how a slayer could be both slayer and immortal.
Buffy was suddenly overcome with a desperate need to be alone. She had enjoyed Richie's company, but she just couldn't take it anymore. She had run away from her old life, only to come headlong into one that was equally fraught with responsibility and consequence. She just wanted to get away to a place where she was alone with her thoughts. She wanted time to lay down and cry over Angel. She hadn't even gotten time to properly grieve and Richie's story about Duncan and Tessa only brought it all back how much she had lost. Standing up, she smiled what she hoped was a comforting smile.
"I'm going to go back to Adam's place OK Richie? If he asks tell him not to worry."
"Shouldn't one of us go with you?" Richie asked worriedly. Buffy smiled wryly and reminded herself that to these people, she still looked like a seventeen year old girl and not all of them knew how competent slayers were.
"Believe me when I say that I am more than capable of getting home in one piece, sword notwithstanding." She grinned in an attempt at lightheartedness. "I saved the world y'know. Talk to you later Richie. Nice to meet you."
And before he could protest any further, she left.
