OKAY I DON'T OWN NOTHING BUT MY OWN INSANE LITTLE MIND. NWN, BALDUR'S GATE, SHREK, THAT 70'S SHOW,D-12, AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT I USE IN THIS STORY BELONGS TOTHEIR PROSPECTIVE CREATOR.

Summary- Neverwinter has been ravished by the plague and the Great Hero Cire Namerof (Eric Foreman- transcribed) has been summoned to save the city. But he's succumb by overwhelming odds and a group of adventures come to his aid...

Aribeth looked around at the carnage as Fenthick and Desther stood in the barn, mouth open ajar. The Princely Hero, Cire Namerof's spiked brown hair and big brown eyes stood at attention as the Paladin of Tyr approached the trio.

"What in blue blazes happened here?" Aribeth said with a clenched fist.

Desther beat everyone to the punch, "It was the boy. The idiot arrived to late. He is utterly useless."

Cire smile, showcasing his brillant white teeth, "I am here to prove myself to my bride, the Fair Princess Donnia."

Magically Donnia's head, crowned with beautiful red locks and a pair of light green eyes, manifested above the group saying, "Cire, I swear that if you don't save that town…"

Fenthick interjected, "We are a city actually…"

"Does it look like I care?" the magical head said, "Save the city or you're going to end up marrying that Fiona girl."

Cire looked into a mirror, smiling at his own appearance.

"CIRE!" Screamed the princess, "Get the hell to work before I put my size twelve…I mean two up your poop shoot!"

"Okay, okay. I'll save this friggin' city," Cire said waving his hands in the air and tossing his head back and forth, "Now, Lady Aribeth, my light saber."

"Ah…you not a Jedi Knight. I think your character sheet says you're…" Aribeth peeks over the screen, "Level One Fighter. And why in squally Cromyr did you put 17 points in Charisma…"

"Look at me babe." Cire did his Runway Pose, "I'm a prince for Heaven's Sake and I'm the most gorgeous if you ask E-Squire Online…"

"I thought you lost to Charming…" Donnia said as her head magically disappeared.

"I'll smite the foul fiend that…that…what did the foul fiend do?" Cire asked.

"The Waterdhavian creatures, the plague and don't forget summoning you here," Desther said.

"Aye yes, it all comes back to me now." The prince said as he grabbed the door handle, forgetting to pull the door and ran smack into a solid wooden doorway.

Fenthick looked at Aribeth and said, "What are we going to do now? Our city's only hope has suffered a massive concussion and is more incapacitated then when he first arrived here…"

Aribeth stood up straight as the sound of a soft playing paino began to play behind her, " I guess," she said slowly as she reached off screen and grabbed a microphone, "I need a HERO!" Aribeth begins to sing...

"Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Halueth
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night toss and turn and dream of what I need"

Fenthick and Desther Join in the Chorus
We need a hero
We're holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
We need a hero
We're holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

Aribeth begins to sing alone

"Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet"

Fenthick and Desther Join in the Chorus
We need a hero
We're holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
We need a hero
We're holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

Fenthick sings

"Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I would swear that there's someone somewhere
Watching me"

Desther sings

"Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like the fire in my blood"

Fenthick and Desther Join in the Chorus
We need a hero
We're holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
We need a hero
We're holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be LARGER THAN LIFE...

As the organ dies down four odd people run on to the stage...

Tomi sings

"I be your hero.

I came from Calmishan in the veil of the night.

Boink some guy's daughter and now I run to find this guy that I know'll write

My freedom pardon!

I never ever stray from what I know's is right"

Desther sings

"Oh yeah right."

Tomi sings

"I promise to I'll never touch a dame that's not mine

Well, not until the time'll be fine.

So, I'll try to save this time from this strife…"

Linu comes half running, half tripping

"I not a hero…

But I need to find refuge from the cat lady that I gave a great fright

I've got the blessing of Moonbow, I'm holy and blameless though I'm a bit trite

As far as Clerics!

I'll never ever back down from a tough fight."

Desther sings

"Clerics are always right"

Linu sings

"I promise I didn't mean to break that cat's tail, I'm alibi'ed

Well I they might not remember things without sight

So, I'll try to save this town from this strife…"

Daelen slashes the door were Cire was lying in front probably causing more damage

"Red Tiger Hero!

I'm a half-orc barbarian, yeah boy, that's right

I'm stronger and faster and better than anyone that I'll face in a fight

Cause they're all zeros

And the blood that runs through me will just make me delight"

Desther sings

"I think that his butt hair is white"

DRT continues to sing

"I promise I'll break 'em in half with all of my berserker might

They should just come to clean now than try to hide

Cause, I'll save this town for this strife…"

Sharwyn saunters in a cool red leather armor and shiny black boots

"I AMYOUR HERO!

Brave and vociferous and I even have Amazon height

Unrivaled in combat, unsanctioned in deeds and I'm never left with a blight!

Cause I'myour HERO!

Fame is the foremost important thing in my sight"

Desther sings

"I'll try to get her number tonight"

Sharwyn sings

"When I find this villain all will know I'm adroit

Since I'm saving this town from all This STRIFE!

CAUSE I'M LARGER THAN LIE-EYE-IFE…"

Aribeth looks at this strange menagerie, "So, it seems that when I ask Tyr for something he gives me more than I need…"

Desther laughed and said, "This reminds me of a joke, what do an Elf, a Bard, an Orc and a cheeky halfling have in common…"

They all shrugged their shoulders, "We don't know."

"THEY AREN'T HEROES!" He laughed and disappeared.

"That was weird," said Fenthick. "I guess he had urgent business."

Aribeth stepped onto a plinth that appeared out of nowhere, "Remember…they make take our Beggar's Nest but they'll take our Recall Stones!" She screamed and tossed the rocks and hit all four of them in the head, "Now go get me those CREATURES!"


Okay, so the plot is set. The opening curtain falls and the four heroes need money to fund this expedition. But how would a group of singing warriors make some quick dough...

LATERZ.