Author's Note: Thanks once more to anyone and everyone who has taken the time to review. And a special thanks once again for Cha Cha1 for her thoughtful and detailed critique.
"I can't wait much longer," Buffy told Joe solemnly as she stared at the scrawled word meant for her and her alone. "I gotta do something soon. More people have died. He's gotta be stopped."
"You're nowhere near ready." Methos said calmly, meeting her eyes and daring her to challenge. "He'll kill you in the blink of an eye."
"Maybe that's not such a bad thing." Buffy suggested softly. Richie and Duncan both registered shock on their faces whereas Joe's and Methos' showed no surprise.
"You can't just let him win Buffy." Duncan told her sternly. "Not only for your life, but for the lives of everyone he would kill if he had your power. If he's like this now imagine what he'd do if he were twice as powerful!"
Buffy sighed, knowing she would have to explain Joe and Methos' theory to Duncan but reluctant to do so. The wind whistled softly through her hair and she found herself shiver slightly despite the warm climate. It was a morbid way of thinking, but there were three more dead people that had lost their lives because of her. She could no longer think of herself.
"Let's go inside OK?"
The others nodded and waited until the door was shut and Joe had turned the lights on before turning to her for an explanation.
"If I lose to him, he can still be defeated." Buffy admitted to the others. She looked to Joe and Methos for encouragement but found it only in Methos who looked saddened by what he knew she was about to say, but encouraging all the same. She proceeded to explain to Duncan and Richie that if she fought Klossen and he took her head, he would be vulnerable for another immortal to take the quickening if they were waiting in the wings to do so. "It's possible. It's not the best solution, but if I can't beat him and even if I can, we'll need this as a backup anyway."
"You're talking about losing to this guy like it's no big deal!" Richie exclaimed angrily.
"I'm a slayer Richie, it's kinda what I'm supposed to do." She replied sadly. "I did it once, I can do it again if I have to. I'm not going to try to lose to him, but if I do, it's not the end of the world. He can be stopped. If I continue to train though more people will die."
"So what, you play the martyr then?" Duncan asked her quietly, an unreadable expression danced in his dark brown eyes.
"No, I'm…"
"Sounds like it to me," Richie spat, interrupting whatever she had just been about to say. "Just cause you're a slayer it's your job to die?"
"It's my job to protect people." She explained feeling more and more resolved in her decision by watching his reaction. Joe had opened the bar and was pouring everyone drinks but staring at her out of the corner of his eye with a look of proud sadness on his face.
"It's my job to protect people from creatures like him." She explained patiently. "And it's something that I've been hiding from ever since I did something that I couldn't forgive myself for. I don't know if I will ever be able to. But I do know that I can stop him, however it might happen. And I mean to do it before anybody else gets hurt."
"Who's going to take the quickening?" Duncan asked calmly. "There's no guarantee that it's completely safe, is there?"
"No," she admitted. "But it's a safer bet than anything we've got. And I trust in the person I've chosen as my second." She looked towards the eldest immortal and smiled. "I trust in you Methos."
"This has gone far enough." Duncan interjected. "You can't understand what you are doing by picking him. He can't be trusted to….you don't know what he's done."
"That's where you're wrong," she said softly. "Methos told me about his past. And I know that whoever takes this risk doesn't take it lightly."
"You put her up to this didn't you?" Duncan asked him, whirling to face Methos with an accusatory look in his eyes. Methos felt the old anger well up inside him as he saw the distrust take up residence on the highlander's face. "You can't stand the thought of someone else having the power to take your head."
"If you think for one second that I'm actually after this guy's power highlander than you're more deluded than he is!" Methos spat angrily. He hated the look of judgment he saw on Duncan's face, hated the idea that to him, he would always be a murderer. That this man, this child could look upon him as if he understood what it had been like made him more than furious. To know that to Duncan MacLeod he would never be a good man no matter what he did hurt him to the core.
"Why not?" Duncan challenged. "It would make you impossible to kill, wouldn't it?"
"It would also make me a soulless monster," Methos returned. "And despite what you think of me, I do still have my soul. I'm a man Duncan, flawed yes, but a man nonetheless. You will never see the good in me, never see me for who I am because you are too busy looking with eyes that see who I was. The slayer does not have that problem. I did not put her up to this, nor do I want what she is asking of me. If she asked you this moment I would gladly watch you do it and hope for the best."
"I know you would rather it be you Duncan and so would he. And that's why it has to be him." She shot a look of pleading at Duncan hoping he would see in Methos what she had seen in him from the beginning.
"Buffy think about what you are doing," Duncan implored her. "I know you trust him and I know you're close but you are not the most important thing to him. Surviving is the only thing he truly cares about and if the power corrupts him then none of us will be safe. None but him."
"I've thought about it," she told him coldly. "It was not a decision I made on a whim. I don't know if this is a jealousy thing or what, but even if I didn't trust Methos to do this Duncan it wouldn't be you I chose. I'm not an idiot. I know he wants to survive. So do I. And if I can give him that chance….if I can give anybody that chance, then I'm going to pick the person I think capable of it. I think Methos is the only one here strong enough."
"I think you're both wrong." Duncan said flatly.
"Look Mac, I'm sorry she bruised your ego, but what's done is done." Methos interrupted. Frustration was quickly taking the place of the hurt.
"I can't be a part of this." Duncan said shaking his head.
"If you're really all that concerned Mac you can be there as well to take my head if I can't handle it." Methos blurted out in annoyance. "Would that make you feel better? To know that I'm not a danger anymore?"
"I don't want to kill you Methos!" Duncan exclaimed, as if surprised that Methos would jump to that conclusion.
"You could have fooled me," Methos replied wearily. "Look Mac, I don't want to fight. And whatever trust issues you have are your problem not mine. I'm sorry there are evils in my past, I truly am. But this isn't about me, or you. It's about her. If you cannot abide by this decision then we will fight if that's what has to happen. I would rather it not, but I will understand if that's what you need to do to ease your conscience. If you truly don't want my head MacLeod than you had better resign yourself to the fact that I do indeed have an unpleasant past, and that I am still doing this no matter what. The only way to stop me is to kill me. Make your choice."
Duncan stared at Methos for a moment, but said nothing, ultimately choosing to stay silent and allow the planning to continue for now anyway. He had no doubt that Duncan may still try to convince Buffy that the plan was foolish or that he was the wrong choice, but figured if he kept them from being alone in the room together, Duncan wouldn't get the chance. The others meanwhile were talking amongst themselves about where Klossen could be.
Buffy listened only half way to the others, all the while knowing that before she fought him there were some things she had to finish.
Methos turned back to Buffy and tipped her chin to meet his gaze. "Are you sure of this? You want to fight as soon as you can? I don't want to lose you."
"And I don't want to die," she told him sincerely, realizing for the first time since she left Sunnydale that she truly meant it. "I want to live my life so badly it hurts. But I can't let others die in my place. I dunno, maybe I've finally found the spirit of Celine. This is my job and I have to do it."
"How are you going to find him?" Richie wondered. "Put a note on the bodies out there that says 'I get the message come and get me'?"
"He's doing this on his turf," Joe added grimly. "We're playing by his rules."
"Then we have to find him and make him play by ours." Buffy said firmly. "This can't be his game anymore."
"How are we going to regain control here?" Joe asked. "I mean, he's been one step ahead the entire time."
"We'll figure something out," Buffy said determinedly. Briefly she entertained the thought of calling Giles and asking his advice but knew that ultimately she couldn't do that. Not only would he want to know where she was and what she was doing, but he would insist on coming to Seacouver and helping to defeat Klossen. She couldn't take the chance that Klossen might target Giles, in order to get to her. He had killed so many already and the only thing that kept her going, kept her sane was the fact that although tragic, she hadn't known them. They were a faceless dead. She didn't think she could bear the guilt of the death of any more loved ones. They were still staring at her, waiting for her to say something useful, however all she could do was lean into Methos for support, realizing how completely exhausted she was.
"Guys, can we…can we do this tomorrow?" She yawned involuntarily as she spoke. "He's done for the night. And he can't hurt anyone tomorrow during the day. I'd like to get some sleep before…" She looked to Methos hopefully. "Can we go home?"
"Yea," Methos said softly sensing the slayer's need to escape. "It's late. We'll meet here tomorrow."
Duncan nodded and left, muttering a terse good bye to the two of them. Joe decided to stay as did Richie who sat down at the stool and took a large drink of beer. Methos looked to her and led her out and back to his car and home where sleep awaited them.
When they arrived back at Methos' place however, Buffy felt anything but ready for bed. It was clear by Methos' actions that he felt the same way as he sat down beside her almost automatically, flipping through the channels, but not really watching whatever it was that was on.
Before he realized it, she had slipped her small hand into his and pulled his arm around her, settling down into the crook of his arms as she yawned once more, and closed her eyes.
It was a wordless agreement of comfort and trust that they gave one another on the couch that night. Methos found himself sinking into that comfort as he rested his head against her soft blond hair and closed his eyes as well. In the morning they would wake to face a challenge he wasn't sure they could defeat, but tonight they would just be two good friends, falling asleep together in front of a flickering tv.
