Hey! Here's the second chapter, and you get to find out if Tala dies or not! I know I made Bryan a heartless git, but he wuvs Tala really (I'll stop ruining the plot and let you read it instead!):
Tala cursed. Weak...he was too weak to do it...
Bryan sat in his room, brooding. He still didn't quite believe that he'd done that to Tala...but there was a bloody scuff across his knuckles and Tala's pleas were still ringing in his ears. He leaned his forehead against the window and sighed. What was he so scared of? It wasn't like Tala was trying to kill him or anything...
His finger tightened once more, but it was not enough.
Bryan sighed again and closed his eyes. He was scared. He knew he was scared, could feel that nameless, unidentifiable feeling of being hunted, trapped. "What's wrong with me?" He mused out loud. "How could I-? Why did I-? I can't..." He looked down at the blood on his hand again. Tala's blood. Tala's blood...that he had taken... "Why did I hurt him?" But he couldn't answer his own question, could only put it down to fear.
Angered, he tried again. Somehow his finger wouldn't bend enough.
"Am I scared...because he loves me?" The cold glass of the window was numbing Bryan's skin, but his mind pounded beneath it, trying to find answers to the many questions it had. He looked down again. Blood. He could see Tala now, pleading for mercy, with no reason for it other than 'I love you'. But they were only words, so why did they scare him so much? He stood up, then sat back down again, wavering. The image of Tala begging for him not to hurt him flashed into his mind and he was almost sick. How could he have done that? Whatever Tala was...whatever he felt...there had been no reason...no good reason...to hurt him. Decisively, Bryan stood up.
"You're too weak, Ivanov." He growled at his glaring reflection.
Outside the door, Bryan hesitated. Did he dare? Did he dare to go in there and ask for forgiveness, after what he'd done? Would Tala accept his apology? All the nagging doubts in his mind rooted him to the spot until he heard someone muttering inside the room. He laid his hand over the handle and pushed down, letting the door swing open. "Tala!" It was all too much. Tala just standing there, side on to him, a gun in his hand, dead, empty eyes. "Tala!" He took a step forward. "Tala!" He felt like a one-track record, but it was all he could say. "Tala..."
Bryan was there, so he had to do it now.
"Tala! Stop!" Tala's finger, still curled around the trigger, tightened. Bryan stood there, shocked into stillness as it tightened, further and further and he screamed. "NO!" But the finger didn't stop. There was a click, and-
He gasped. The gun had jammed. He was still alive...
"Tala! Tala, put the gun down!"
"But this is what you want, isn't it?" The gun was still there, and Bryan could feel paralyzing fear spreading through him. Tala was willing to die...wanted to die...
"Tala...I don't...I-I'm sorry..."
"Sorry?" Tala's eyes filled with tears. "You're -sorry-?" Bryan could feel that it was too little, too late. Tala's finger started to tighten again. There was always the chance the gun would fire. Always the chance-
With a sickening feeling he realised that he would lose Tala. Lose him as a friend, as a teammate...maybe even as something more. He flung himself forwards as Tala squeezed the trigger, and pushed Tala's arm away. The bullet exploded out of the gun and embedded itself in the mirror. Bryan stared at it, watching the mirror-Tala crack and then shatter, splintering to the dressing table and then to the floor, along with the gun that fell from Tala's hand. "Tala...I'm sorry..." It was all he could say. And it didn't come anywhere near to conveying the guilt that rampaged through his mind, through his body, through his very soul.
If Bryan didn't want him dead, what -did- he want?
"Tala, please, say something!"
"You're not sorry."
"I'm not-" Tala started to cry, crumpling to his knees. Had he secretly wanted the apology, or...was there something else he wanted? Bryan knelt down and wrapped his arms around the redhead, who stiffened and started to shake. "D-Don't hurt me...please..." And then Bryan realised; Tala was scared of him. Tala was scared of him, and he didn't want that. "Tala...I'm not sorry...because it's not enough..." Tala clutched at him and sobbed brokenly, still shivering as if he were freezing.
It was all too much. He was sorry...but wasn't?
"How can you be both? How can you be sorry and not sorry?" Demanded Tala, choking out the question while glaring up at Bryan. Bryan didn't answer, only touched the long scratch along Tala's cheek and chin that he had caused. Guilt rose up inside him and he felt like crying himself. "I don't know...I don't know anything...Tala..." Tala's eyes strayed towards the gun and Bryan wrenched his head back round. Tala whimpered and Bryan despaired. How could he help Tala, how could he find out what he himself was scared of, if all he could do was hurt him?
"Don't...kill yourself..."
"You hate me. Why sh-shouldn't I?"
"I don't...I was...I couldn't..." The words eluded Bryan, dancing on the tip of his tongue. "I'm scared!" He finally blurted out, raising his hand once more to touch Tala's cheek. "I-I'm scared...of you..."
Scared? Of him? Tala shook his head. He didn't understand.
"I thought you were joking...b-but you weren't...I was brought up a catholic, Tala, it's not-" Bryan searched for the rest of the words that he needed to say. "I didn't think...I was scared...so I was angry...I didn't...I don't hate you! I was just too scared...too weak...to question anything...I didn't want to think...about you...like that. But you kept coming back, and you said it every time and I think I was terrified but I was angry and-" Bryan's degenerative spiral into nonsensicality was halted by a finger being pressed over his lips. He gazed into Tala's tearful eyes, scared once again, waiting for judgement.
He was scared? Scared of his feelings? It made sense...
Tentatively, fearfully, Tala leaned closer, removing the finger and replacing it with his lips. He felt Bryan's grip around his waist tighten painfully, and pulled away. "I..." He bit his lip. "I still love you." He closed his eyes tightly, as if waiting for some kind of blow, physical or mental, to connect, but the iron grip Bryan held him in only tightened. "Tala...I'm scared..." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I'm scared..." Tala reached up and touched Bryan's arm.
"I love you..." The mantra that had ended up harming him before had turned into the lifeline of the moment, and Bryan clung to it.
"How can you love me?"
"I just do. Even more...now that I understand..."
The misery in his heart was replaced with undeniable happiness.
"Bryan..."
"T-Tala...I'm sorry...I'm s-sorry..." Tala kissed the rest of his apology away, too happy to care. Bryan didn't hate him! But...did not hating equate to loving? "I love you Bryan..." He tried again.
"I-I th-think I...might love you too..." Bryan said shakily, throat clogged with emotion. "B-but what'll Spencer say? And Ian?"
"I don't care..." Whispered Tala.
As long as he had Bryan...that would be enough...
I couldn't kill him! I've killed him before...more than once...and I thought it'd be -too- cruel to kill him again! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I appreciate it! The italicy bits in this chapter are more sort of Tala's thoughts than his actions, but meh. Hope you liked it! Oh, and if there's any questions in reviews that need answering, I'll export the story and put my answers in a note at the end of the fic.
PS: This fic wasn't designed to be offensive to catholics or anything, so sorry if it was…
