MICHAEL:
I got home and Lilly was already on the phone with Mia. "Wait Mia. Michael just got home. Hold on." She put the phone down. "What's with the smile?"
"There was a good concert. Good people. Good times." I continued into my room. I couldn't wipe the giddy smile off my face.
I did something I hadn't done in years. I jumped on my bed and did an air guitar.
"What are you doing?" Lilly asked from my doorway.
"Oh, um, nothing. Don't you have homework or something?"
"It's vacation numb nuts. Speaking of which, make sure your nuts stay away from Mia."
Then she walked away. "What?" I asked, poking my head into the hallway.
"She told me you got her drunk last night. Don't do that anymore. You know how she gets when she's drunk."
Oh yes. I definitely knew what she was like when she was drunk.
"I didn't make her drink."
"Yeah right."
"I swear."
"Okay, yeah. Knock it off, got it?"
"Knock what off?"
"Sexually harassing her."
God. Had she told Lilly I was harassing her? "What are you talking about?"
She sighed and slammed her door. Teenage girls are so…weird.
Before work the next morning I made sure I went to the drug store just in case we needed anything for that night. I mean, doing it like that once was stupid enough. Not that I thought she had STD's or whatever, but I mean, babies are made that way. And I'm barely able to take care of myself, much less an eight pound bundle of joy.
And it's not that I expected her to have sex with me again on our first kind of sort of date. But I had to be prepared (that's what the Boy Scouts taught me when I was a kid before I realized they were dumb. The only good thing I learned as a kid). Doing it once with no protection was kind of stupid, but felt nice. But stupid. No mini me-a's hanging around thanks.
It was a shitty day at work. Everyone was coming in because we'd just had a storm and their precious BMW's were dirty with slush. I couldn't wait until the end of the day when Mia would come by and we'd go get hot chocolate at Serendipity.
"Moscovitz, take that last car in line then you can get out of here," my boss, Gary yelled down to me.
I sighed and strolled on down to the silver SAAB at the end of the line. "Hey," I mumbled. "What can we do for you today?"
The man looked friendly. He had long grayish hair pulled back into a ponytail. But dressed kind of porn star-like. "Hey there pardner. Complete clean up. My girlfriend and I just got back from a weekend in Vermont. We uh, made a mess of things if you know what I mean," he said turning his back to me and facing the car. I realized who it was.
It was Old Man River. Serena's boyfriend.
"…and well, my kids wouldn't like seeing this kind of mess."
I peeked in and saw what he meant. Condom wrappers in the back. "Fine. I'll have it done in a few minutes."
I made it spotless. Almost. I did leave one wrapper in place so his kids could see it. They'd be busted and their relationship would be totally ruined. I'd be happy to see her come running back and I'd blow her off. I was happy again. I had Mia…sort of. Not exactly. I mean, she still technically was with what's his name. But I can pretend.
"Here ya go son," Old Man River, sorry, Kingston, said flipping me two quarters. "Good job."
I rolled my eyes and then saw Mia strolling into the offices of the car wash. She waved and was smiling. I was dead tired but perked up when I saw her. "Have a good one man. You can pay that guy over there."
"Hey," she said softly, twiddling her thumbs.
She was dressed so well. Real clothes. Clothes that didn't smell like car insides. "Hey. Um, let me go get dressed, kay?"
She nodded.
"Take a seat over there, in the office?"
She nodded again.
I had brought another set of clothes to change into. "Big date?" my co-worker, Ryan asked.
I nodded. "Kind of." I felt sick to my stomach. My nerves were killing me.
"That high class chick out there?"
I laughed. "High class?"
"Well, the tweed coat, boots…looks high class to me."
"She's Mia. My best friend."
"Date," he corrected.
"Sorry. Date. Gotta go."
We walked in silence to Serendipity on 77th street. She let me hold her hand on the side streets, but on the main streets we had to pull apart. "Cameras are always around trying to get my picture," she explained.
"I see."
"That's why I'm wearing the hat," she said pointing to the obnoxious hat on her head.
"Oh, okay."
She ordered a peanut butter hot chocolate. I got a white hot chocolate. Then we sat down and started on our treats. "So, how was your day?" I asked. I was way too afraid to ask about the other night.
"It was okay," she said softly. "Wasn't that old guy um…isn't he Serena's…"
"Yeah," I said rolling my eyes. "Anyways, what did you do today?"
"I um, played with Frank's drums a little, til Mom yelled at me for waking up Rocky."
"Widening your horizons," I said with a smirk.
"Yeah."
"That's something I wanted to talk to you about," I said carefully.
"My horizons?" she asked, confused.
I laughed softly, nervously. We were totally avoiding the obvious topic. "We need a guitarist. Chaz is going back to school in Washington. So we were kind of thinking…well, you've played with us a few times…um…you wanna join?"
Her nervous expression disappeared. "Yeah, totally. That'd be so much fun."
Good. That was done then. Now the real hard stuff. "Um, so.…"
"Yeah. Look, I um…God, Michael, I'm sorry. We were stupid, ya know?"
Okay. There goes my mojo. My dream of being her boyfriend. "Yeah, I…I guess."
"I mean, we didn't even use anything," she said softly.
I nodded, "Yeah, I know." Well, maybe that's what she meant by us being stupid. Not the act itself, just the not using protection thing.
"For all we know I could be…well…you know…"
I hadn't really thought about that too much. "Oh shit…"
"I know. But I can take a test or whatever and hopefully everything will work out."
I bit my lip. I may have impregnated a sixteen year old princess. Fuck. "When can you do that?"
"I don't know. I need you to go buy it. Lilly has no idea…. and I can't do it. If anyone saw me…well, Grandmere would flip out. My dad would probably murder Napoleon."
Cuz he's her boyfriend. He's the one that would have logically impregnated her. Not me. Nope, not the loyal pal. The chum. The best buddy. Nope.
"Right. Fine." Shit. "Um, wanna go see a movie or…"
"I um, look… You aren't over Serena yet."
"Excuse me?" I asked.
"It's been what, two, three weeks?"
"So?"
"You are not over her," she said, stirring her drink. "I don't think we should…you know…persue anything. Until you know…plus, we're such good friends and all…"
Whoa. Where had this come from? She's saying 'persue'? What the hell? What is with the big words? "Yeah, you're right. Totally. It was a one time thing," I lied.
She bit her lip. "I better get home. I have to um, meet Lilly for something."
Ah ha. There ya go. That's why Mia just wanted to keep being friends. My bitch of a sister.
"I mean, if anything were to happen between us it'll happen eventually. When we don't have to rely on our friends for relationship advice," I said grabbing her wrist as she walked past me.
She stared down at me. She had been caught. "Yeah. I guess. But," she said pulling her gaze to the ground, "We're buds, right? No matter what? We're pals?"
I hated when she said pals. "Yeah. See ya at band practice tomorrow night then."
"Yeah. Definitely. See you."
I'm a shithead and I hate life again.
MIA:
I hate Lilly. I hate my life. I hate everything and everyone. After Michael left from bringing me home from Boston, Lilly called. "Hey, didn't think you'd be home yet," she said.
"Then why'd you call?" I asked, unable to wipe the smile off my face. I had just spent the past five hours on a bus with Michael kissing me and telling me funny jokes.
"To check. Is my brother with you?"
"No. Why would he be?" I asked defensively. I didn't want her to know about the previous night's activities. Not that I was embarrassed by them, but she just wouldn't understand.
"How was the concert?" she asked, seemingly not noticing my defensiveness.
"Great."
"What did you guys do in Boston?"
Oh, I lost my virginity to Michael, that's all. "Nothing really. Shopped. I bought you a Cheers shot glass."
"Woopty doo. My dad made me meet Ned, the lover he's been seeing. He's sooo young. And trying to get my dad to do yoga 'cuz it can make the body go into so many flexible positions."
"Ew, gross. Did you hit him?" I asked, falling onto my bed. My mom had gone to Long Island with Frank and Rocky.
"No. I just swore that I would kill Michael for not being here with me. What did you guys do after the concert? Any parties?"
"Yeah. Over at Harvard."
"Were they discussing politics? I bet they do there-"
"No," I said laughing. "They were like regular kids."
"You were drinking again, weren't you?"
"A little," I lied. I was more drunk with Michael being around. No from alcohol. Michael just naturally made me feel lightheaded and a little like being drunk. I couldn't really think straight around him.
"I see. You guys only drink around one another, it's weird. Hold on, he just got home."
My heart started doing palpitations at the mention of his presence.
"Hey, I'm back. Was he sexually harassing you again?"
"Huh? No."
"Good. It'd be way weird if anything were to happen between you two. I don't know if we could be friends, ya know? I wouldn't know if you were here to see me or him…"
"Right. I um, gotta go. Napoleon is supposed to call from the tournament."
Michael IM'd me that night to tell me to meet him at his work at five, when he got out. We'd get something to eat or something. Then I would pour my heart out to him. No, that's a lie. I had to make sure that I didn't like him more than he liked me. Maybe this is a casual thing he was trying out until a way hotter girl came along. I had to make sure we were going to be friends still.
Which is why it crushed me the next day to see his face when I mentioned the fact that I could be pregnant. He obviously hadn't thought about it, and hadn't thought he'd have to deal with me in that way ever again. I hate life.
After we talked I came home and cried. My mom (she can only take her in laws in small doses, she took Rocky home for the day, leaving Frank to fend for himself) thought maybe Napoleon called and broke up with me again. No. It was ten times worse. I had just ruined any chance I had with Michael. Which was none anyways, but still. We had slept together and I just told him I wanted to be just friends.
"What happened this weekend?" she asked, lying next to me on my bed.
There is no point in lying to her. She can read me like a book. "Well…"
"Did you kiss Michael," she asked, picking something out of my hair.
I couldn't look at her. "Um…"
"Mia," she said, giving me the eye. "What did you do?"
"We kind of did more than kiss," I replied.
She sighed heavily, "How much more?"
I seriously could not look at her in the eye. "Um…"
"Mia," she started, "Did you sleep with him?"
I nodded, biting my lip.
She didn't say anything for a few minutes. "Well, how was it?"
I stared up at the ceiling. "Um, huh?"
"Mia, I'm not going to pretend to be mad. I know you used protection, you aren't stupid."
Twist the knife Mom. Really. Go ahead.
"Well, yeah," I lied.
"But…" she started. "It might be a good idea to see a doctor since you are active now."
"I'm not active," I said quickly. "I mean, I'm not going to sleep with N-Howie."
"You aren't breaking up with him?"
"Well…no. I mean, I think this thing with Michael was just…you know, a thing. Not going to happen again. What's the point in ruining a whole relationship over it?"
She closed her eyes. "Maybe we can get you on the pill, just in case. If your grandmother says anything we'll say it's because of your period." She was using the voice that she uses when she thinks I'm wrong about something. I hate when she does that. Especially when I know I'm right.
"Mom, why are you being so cool about it?"
"Because I know that you would have thought about it. And it was Michael. I know how you two-"
"Mom, there's nothing with him. We're buds."
"Well, I was your age when I did this too. At least you know and care for him." She stared at me for a full minute. "Anyways, I'll call my doctor in the morning. I love you sweetie."
I'm stupid. I should never lead a country. Ever. I should just slink into obscurity and never be heard from again.
