Living Sunshine
Author: Gaarasama
Email: angelayahoo888 at hotmail dot com
Summary: Naruto had a horrible past, a past untouched. Will Sasuke manage to uncover the truth, and make Naruto realize that love applies to anyone, no matter who or what gender you are? (sasunaru) (yaoi)
Disclaimer: All characters are property of Masashi Kishimoto. The plot belongs to me. Oh and the poems belong to me too.
Legend/Key (for stupid people who can't figure it out by themselves):
"talking"
'thoughts'
narration
flashback/dream
word(number) (there is an author's note at the end of the story)
Whoever's POV (point of view)
(scene break)
song lyrics
I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR A MONTH BUT I WAS REALLY LAZY AND I DIDN'T WANT TO! (At least I'm honest right?) Anyways, today I just downloaded the new Naruto anime – episode 124 – and I just saw the best thing ever!
GAARA'S BACK! I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY! I'M SO HAPPY THAT THERE IS NO WORD TO DESCRIBE IT! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE GAARA! HE'S MY FAVORITE CHARACTER EVER! I CAN'T WAIT TILL NEXT THURSDAY WHEN I GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN! HE LOOKS OLDER AND HOTTER AND WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY SEXIER AND I LOVE HIM!
This inspired me to write another chapter, but it also made me realize something. I am completely in love with a person who I will never meet, never talk to, never get to hug, or kiss, or do obscene things with. I am in love with someone who doesn't even exist! I also realized that seeing him, even for just a split second (which is how long I saw him for), made me happier than all of those times I was reading yaoi hentai manga altogether. I was happier with just a glance at Gaara than I was when I get to see guys fuck. That is unbelievable! I cannot believe that! It made me really sad to realize that I'll never meet him. Hopefully, some time in my life, I'll meet someone just like him in real life.
List of Fame:
Thank you, hakusgurl, Yaoilover S, ghostninja85, Shizuka Ketsurui, Tamara2187, hogo-chan, Kirby, Nejidragon, kitsune-deemon, Generally Maz, AnOtic, naruchan, and Kanemoshi, for taking the time out of your busy day to review for my insignificant story.
Chapter 7: A Dedication to Gaara
Sasuke and Naruto sat in the quiet hospital room, talking about pointless things, just happy with each other's presence.
A knock came from the entrance, and Gaara walked in.
Naruto glared at him, "What do you want?"
"Is he someone you know?" Sasuke asked.
"No." Naruto replied, "He's nobody."
Gaara looked hurt, "Sorry."
"What?" Naruto asked.
"I said I'm sorry." Gaara repeated, "I thought he was hurting you."
"It still doesn't make what you did right!" Naruto screamed.
"Who?" Sasuke asked, "Who was hurting you?"
Naruto turned around, "No one. Gaara just assumed it. That's all."
"So you do know him."
"What?" Naruto asked, confused.
"You said you didn't know him."
"Oh. Yeah."
"Naruto." Gaara said, "I'm really sorry okay? I didn't know. You were so sad. I thought he was being mean to you. I just wanted to help."
"If you want to help then maybe you should just mind your own business!" Naruto yelled.
Gaara blinked, "I'm sorry." He said, hurt evident in his voice. "You're right. You're better off without me." He turned around and walked out, leaving the door ajar.
"No wait, Gaara. I didn't mean it that way!" Naruto said.
Gaara didn't listen. He just continued on his way, walking away from the reason of his existence.
Gaara's POV(1)
I guess he really doesn't need me after all. He has Sasuke now. He doesn't need me to make sure he isn't picked on. Sasuke will be there for him. That's all he needs. He doesn't need me. He doesn't want me.
I guess I've always thought that we'd stay together forever. I thought that I'd always be able to watch over him, making sure he's alright. Making sure he's okay. I thought that he would always be by my side, always needing me to hold his hand. I thought he'd stay that way forever, and always act the way he once did…
Flashback…
"Get away from me you monster!" The woman cried, pushing away the small blond child clutching her skirt.
Naruto landed on the floor with a thud. Tears welled up in his eyes and he let them spill over his cheeks.
"Leave him alone!" Gaara yelled, standing firmly in front of Naruto. "Or I'll kill you!"
The woman scoffed, "You guys are monsters! Unwanted and uncared for. That's what you are. Get away from us! Leave! You're not welcome here!"
"I don't care what you think! As long as you don't hurt my brother, I won't hurt you! He never did anything to you!"
"He did by existing!"
Gaara narrowed his eyes. Slowly they turned purple. "You'll be sorry."
The woman backed away, scared. She had heard about what they were capable of, and she didn't want to experience it first hand.
Up on a balcony, a flower pot shook, and it fell, hitting her on the head. Her eyes widened as blood gushed out of her head, flowing over her flawless skin and trailing down her flowing hair.
She collapsed on the floor, blood pooling on the ground.
Naruto shivered and clutched onto Gaara's arm. Gaara smiled and led Naruto away from the murder scene. "You know I only do these things for you."
"I know."
"If there's anything wrong I want you to tell me okay? I'll always be here for you."
"Okay." Naruto answered. "Gaara?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
End Flashback…
I arrived at my favourite spot. It's the place I go to every time I need to think. Aboutfour years ago, right after it happened, Naruto got lost and I was looking for him. I found him here. I asked him what he was doing and…
Flashback…
Cultivate your hunger before you idealize.
Motivate your anger to make them all realize.
Climbing the mountain, never coming down.
Break into the contents, never falling down.
I climbed up the mountain and onto the cliff, branches and twigs scratching his skin. I was looking for Naruto.
Naruto has been missing since last night and I couldn't find him no matter what! But somehow I just had a feeling that he would be here.
My knee is still shaking, like I was twelve,
Sneaking out of the classroom, by the back door.
A man railed at me twice though, but I didn't care.
Waiting is wasting for people like me.
I don't care what people do to me. I don't care how they treat me. As long as they leave Naruto alone, I'm happy. I don't need love. I don't need compassion. All I need is for him to be happy. If he's happy, I'm happy.
Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.
As I climbed over the last rock, I see Naruto sitting on the edge, tears falling from his pale blue eyes. His hands clutched tightly to a picture.
Don't try to live so wise.
"Naruto?" I ask.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Why are you crying?"
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
"It wasn't your fault."
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.
Naruto turned around, "Yes it was. Everything was my fault!"(2)
You say, "Dreams are dreams.
"I ain't gonna play the fool anymore."
You say, "'Cause I still got my soul."
"You did what you had to do. It was their fault for treating you that way. You have your own life. You shouldn't stay in the shadows of what other people want. You have to stand up for yourself and not get knocked down by their insults. They deserved it."
"That still doesn't make it right to kill!"
Take your time, baby, your blood needs slowing down.
Breach your soul to reach yourself before you gloom.
Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing, shadows of nothing.
"It doesn't matter. You did a good thing. You rid the world some of its trash."(3)
"I'm not like you Gaara! I can't just kill anybody that gets in my way!"
You still are blind, if you see a winding road,
'Cause there's always a straight way to the point you see.
"Naruto. If you hate it so much, why did you do it?"
"I can't tell you."
"Yes you can! Don't you remember? I told you before, you can tell me anything!"
"…used me." Naruto muttered.
"What?" I asked.
"Dad…abused me."
I glared, "He what?"
"H…he would always beat me, telling me how it was my fault that mom died. He told me that no one wanted me and that everyone wished I would just die."
Don't try to live so wise.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" I asked.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
"I…I didn't want dad to get in trouble." Naruto said, tears falling once more.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
"Don't cry Naruto." I said, and placed an arm around him, "What he did was horrible. He didn't deserve your love. Didn't I tell you Naruto? Love only yourself and fight only for yourself. That's what mom told us right before she died. Didn't you remember?"
Another thing about us is that we have an incredible memory. You may think this is a blessing, but it's not. It's a curse. Our lives were filled with misery and sadness. It would do Naruto some good if he could forget some things.
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.
"You'll only hate yourself if you don't."
Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.
"Thanks Gaara. For being here for me."
"That's what brothers are for."
End Flashback…
I'm sitting on the cliff now, my legs dangling off the edge. I remember how sad he looked then, and how outraged I was to find out what dad did to him.
How can he look at himself in the morning after he has done such a thing?(4) How can he wake up in the morning and live with himself?
I remember how horrible I felt when I realized that I couldn't protect him. I wanted so badly to be there for him. And yet, all that happened right in front of me, and I couldn't do a thing.
And now that Naruto met Sasuke, he really won't need me anymore. I should just leave. He doesn't want me here anymore. He hates me…
I got up and stood at the edge of the cliff. I smile, "I love you Naruto" and stepped off.
TBC…
(1) Finally, it's about time I had one of these!
(2) Now you will know why people hate him and everything. The only thing that doesn't make sense is anything having to do with Sasuke. But don't worry, everything has its time.
(3) I really wanted to say "Remember the golden rule! Do onto others as you'd like others to do onto you. They treated you like crap so you'll treat them like crap!" Our school was pushing that rule way too much. I have it stuck in my head now. But that's true. If someone gives you crap, just shove it right back in their face.
(4) Just a note: Naruto's father never raped him. Ever.
Cliffy! HAHAHA! Any smart person would know what happens next. But whatever. Review please.
Throughout writing this story. I became more and more depressed. I guess that's why I made Gaara commit suicide. I was upset that I will never meet him and that I was in love with a non-existent person. :sighs: I'm so sad now!
