It was uber weird seeing him the next day. He hardly acknowledged me when I arrived with Lars. He nodded in my general direction and went back to talking to Manny.

I sat back on a couch while he and Manny were talking about some new song. Michael didn't want to play it yet. He seemed pretty adamant about it too. He was so hot when he was bossy. And he was wearing the Queens of the Stone Age t-shirt I bought him last year on E-bay for his birthday. It fit him perfectly. Someday....Someday he'll be mine.

"Mia, you going to be joining us?" Orlando asked. "I'll show you this song."

I smiled weakly and joined him. "Place your fingers like this," he explained. I didn't like it when he touched me. It was kind of creepy. But whatever.

I saw Michael glaring at us. "Orlando, stop trying to molest her. Guys, she's our guitarist now. Show some respect. Just because she's a chick doesn't mean you can be all over her. Orlando, would you ever touch me like that? I mean, yes, I am a sexy bitch but some on."

Orlando turned red. "I suppose not Michael."

"Then don't touch her like that. You'll freak her out. She'll desert us."


"Mia, would you ever sleep with a guy named Eugene?" Manny asked during a break. They liked talking about the weirdest named people they'd ever met.

I giggled, "No. Unless Orlando Bloom's real name is Eugene and he's just cleverly covering up. Where'd you get a name like that?"

Manny glanced at Kevin, "Oh, nowhere. It was just you know....well, there was sandpaper involved and things happened. If I told you I'd have to shoot you."

"How about Kingston?" Michael asked with a gleam in his eye. He was ignoring the others.

I smirked at him. "No. Never. I don't care for the older sect. Plus, it sounds like some type of cigarette."

"The hottest name for a girl...." Kevin started. "Suze."

We all stared at him. "Huh?"

"Suze Roth," he replied with a dreamy look.

"That's his favorite porn star," Michael replied.

"Holt is the hottest name," I declared, sipping my water. "It just oozes sex appeal."

"That so isn't even a name," Manny replied.

"It is so. I met this guy at this swim meet thing I went to last year."

"Swim meet?" Michael asked. "What, you have a thing for banana hammocks?"

"You love Speedo's and don't deny it," I replied. "No,Napoleon did swimming last year for off season conditioning. I went to a meet he was in and there was this guy named Holt there. He was there with his girlfriend.Or...well, his friend that he wanted to be his girlfriend. I forget. It was a whole lot of drama that I didn't really care to know about. Swimmers are such drama-"

"Is there a point to this story?" Michael asked, rolling his eyes.

"Yes. And a very good one too.A guy cannot be named Holt and be ugly. Automatic sex god. Unquestioned."

Michael shook his head, "And you would know about sex gods?"

I looked at him, confused, "Well...no. Not really."

"I guess Napoleon is lacking?" Manny teased. "C'mon, you can tell us."

Michael was staring at me for an answer. "I wouldn't know. But I'll tell you when I find out."

Michael looked almost hurt. "Um, well, anyways let's get back to practice."


Practice was fun, and I expected Michael to offer to walk me home, but he didn't. "Lars is waiting downstairs, right?" he asked.

"Um, yeah," I mumbled, embarrassed. I thought he'd at least still walk me home so we could still talk. I'd tell him that I changed my mind maybe. Maybe. I don't even know if I had.

"Okay good. We're kind of going to a bar so…"

"Okay. It's not a problem," I replied, wrapping my scarf around my neck. "I'll see you around."

"Hey," he said, grabbing my wrist.

"What?" I asked hopefully.

"Good job tonight. And if Orlando keeps creeping you out let me know. I'll talk to him."

Great. "Okay. Have fun tonight."


MICHAEL:

I wasn't going to drink if she wasn't around. But the guys told me it was part of the therapy they offered. So I drank until every woman in the bar was gorgeous. "Hey handsome," on woman said into my ear from behind me.

"No thanks," I said thinking about Mia. I liked to believe I still had a shot.

"Come on, look at me at least."

I turned and saw a really gorgeous woman. Legs that went forever. Long brown hair. Grey eyes. Model-like. "Okay."

"Got a name?" she asked.

"Holt," I lied automatically. Where the fuck did that name come from? Oh, right. Mia said a guy with a name like that would be sex god. Unquestioned.

"You're cute. Wanna go back to my place?" she asked rubbing my leg.

I nodded like a stupid puppy. "Totally."

I wish I could say we just played Rummy, but we didn't I actually slept with this stranger. I never thought I could be like that, but I was. "I gotta go," I said fairly soon after we finished up. I didn't even get her name. What's the point? She got what she wanted and I got what I wanted. Done.

I walked by Mia's apartment and saw her nightlight on. I was still buzzed so I climbed up her fire escape and saw her making out with Napoleon. I don't know why I was pissed. I was just with Miss I Don't Have a Name. And they were only making out.

I sat on her fire escape for awhile. Staring out into the New York skyline. Wondering how much more my life could get more fucked up.

"You gonna come in?" Mia asked a little while later.

I turned in surprise. "Hey."

"You'll freeze. Come in," she said, offering her hand.

"How was the bar?" she asked coldly.

I wasn't listening though. I was watching as she braided her hair and put on her stereo.

"Michael? Earth to Michael."

"Oh, right. It was okay. The guys bought me drinks and stuff."
"That was nice of them," she replied, keeping Phantom Planet low so we could keep talking.

"Yeah."

"Napoleon hurt his wrist so he came back from the tournament," she explained. "He came back and uh...."

"Don't have to explain to me." I really didn't want to hear about the two of them. God knows what had happened before I arrived.
"He um…well….we broke up…just now."

I looked up at her in surprise. Hadn't she been telling the guys that she'd tell them about Napoleon's sex god status?"Why?"

"He wanted to do stuff that I didn't want to do. He expected that since my mom and Frank were still in Long Island I was going to sleep with him."

She didn't want to have sex with him? "I uh, thought your mom came home?"

"Only for the day. Rocky had a doctor's appointment earlier this week so...yeah."

"You don't want to have sex with him?" I asked quickly.

"Well, I'm not really ready to. I'm not even sure if I l- like him enough. Or if he'd dump me right after, ya know?"

"Right."

So we're both single. It's perfect.

"So I told him we needed a long break. Maybe a permanent one. I need to be on my own, ya know? Hang out with my friends, the band, ya know?"

I liked how she said ya know. She was so adorable, so I leaned over and kissed her softly. "Yeah. Being alone is good. You can do so much more."

She kissed me back and we fell onto her bed. It felt right now. When I went to bed with that other woman that night I felt nothing but loneliness. With Mia I felt so comfortable. But I refused to have sex with her.

I was drunk so I could blame that. You know, for kissing her.She could tell I was drunk. I reeked of the alcohol.She was most likely making out with me just because she felt bad about everything. You know, my parents…her now single life…. I didn't care though.

At some point we stopped kissing and I started talking about my parents' impending divorce. "I mean, I played pee-wee hockey with the guy," I said softly, my head on her shoulder. She was playing with the long strands of my hair.

"I know," she said soothingly.

"And now my very own father is fucking the kid. How gross is that? He's banging a guy. A guy I checked in practice. He's leaving my mother alone. What the fuck is wrong with everyone? Why can't anyone just be happy with what they've got?"

"Because-"

"I mean, I was good to Serena, right? And my mom was good to my dad. Why do they have to go and ruin it all?" I asked.

"It's better," she said softly a few minutes later. "Otherwise they'd both be miserable. Then they'd make you miserable. And Lilly would be miserable. Then my life would be miserable. And I'm sure that it's more than them you know...screwing around. I'm sure that they have an emotional thing going on as well.....And hey, if you were with Serena still then….you know, we wouldn't be as tight as we are…. And come on. You and Lilly are my only outlet for fun these days with Grandmere down my throat."

"Why?"

"I'm going to Genovia for the summer," she replied with a heavy sigh. "Since I have to formally meet the people crap. She's been stressing me out about it."

"The whole summer?" I asked.

"Yeah…well, most of it. Lilly is going to come with me, I think. She's going to look at the National College there."

"Oh."

We fell silent, but it was comfortable. I started drifting to sleep, "You sleeping?" I asked.

"I can't," she replied.

So I started singing Sailing by Journey (not N SYNC as the new generation would think). She fell right to sleep. With my head on her shoulder. Her arm around me. I liked this.

I went home early, before she woke up. I felt bad lying in her bed when I had just slept with some strange woman.
"Where were you?" Lilly asked when I closed the door.

"Out."

"Where."

"Just out."

"I see. Mia's staying over tonight. Stay away from her."

MIA:

We didn't say anything the next night at rehearsal. And he didn't walk me back to his apartment. He was going out again. I never knew he was such a bar fly. But I did like when he drank. Then I got kisses that we didn't have to discuss.

"Hey, I bought that thing," he mumbled at the end of the rehearsal. "It's in my room. You can grab it when Lilly goes to bed."

"Okay," I managed. "Thanks. But um…well, I dunno if we really need it. I mean…." Okay, what was I supposed to say? I got my period to the man of my dreams? Uh, no.

"Oh…" he said, turning red. "Well, that's a good thing. Okay. I'll uh…talk to you later."

"So you and Napoleon are kaput?" Lilly asked later that night, doing her toe nails all different colors.

"Yeah. I'm just…I don't want a boyfriend."

She laughed. "That's a different tune from before."

"I know. But…well, it's been awhile that I've had a boyfriend, ya know?"

"Oh please. Tina went out with Boris for how long? And she's already on the prowl for Michael. I think she'd drive him crazy, don't you?"

I smirked. "I dunno. They are really different from one another. But…Well…she's in love with love. I think it's only a crush though. She'll get over it."

"Pathetic."

"No. Just loves romance. Besides, Michael is quite a catch."

She gave me a look. "You think so? Do you have a thing for-"

"Of course not," I lied. "I mean, I just told you that I don't want a boy-"

"But you like him. That's what I was asking. Not if you want to date him."

"No. He's my friend. More like a brotherly figure if anything else."

She looked at me skeptically again. "But he's not your brother," she said softly. "I'd rather you date him than her."

This was intriguing. "Why?"

"You know how to take care of him. You aren't a little puppy about him. You give him shit right back."

Somehow, this knowledge made me feel good. Not to mention the fact that I had gotten my period and therefore was not pregnant (well, most likely not pregnant).

We were watching Dirty Dancing in the den (again) when Michael came in with his guitar. "Mia, we went to Manny's house and finished that song. Come on, I'll show you."

Lilly glared at him. "Numb nuts, she's here to see me."

He waved her off. "Mia can make up her own mind."

"I'll be right back," I promised. "It's for the band."

I sat at his desk as he settled on his bed. He started the familiar tune,

" As my happiness was fading I found out you were dating some guy with a law degree twice your age. I'm sure he's a nice guy and probably buys you nice things that I could never ever afford earning minimum wage. Spent the night at home, brushed my teeth and slept alone. Wondered if you ever thought about me anymore. You were probably at a club or drinking wine in his hot tub, trying to convince yourself you aren't a WHORE. You think I'd be unhappy? But it doesn't even make me saaad. That you are probably on your knees sucking some balding guys dick and he's old enough to be your daaaaad."

.the other day at work I finally got to meet the jerk who is spending most of his free time between your knees. Came in to wash his car looking like a porn star. He called me partner as he handed me his keys. And I didn't really care that I was vacuuming your hair from between the safety belts in the back of his SAAB. He just stood there looking dapper as I threw out condom wrappers and tipped me fifty cents for doing such a great job. You'd think I'd be unhappy, but it doesn't even make me sad. That you are probably taking turns on his partners at the firm and he's old enough to be your dad. You'd think I'd be unhappy, but it doesn't even make me sad. 'Cuz you're going to break this poor heart and he's old enough to be your dad."

I cracked up laughing. "That is amazing."

"Think she'd like hearing it?" he teased.

"Oh yeah. Hearing about being a whore by an ex? That is every girls dream."

"Every guys as well," he replied, strumming on his guitar. "Play it with me on Friday night. Open mike night."

"What?" I squeaked.

"At Orleans night club. You can get in. Come on. It'll be fun. It's not hard to learn."

"Yeah. Fine," I said after a few minutes. "It'll be fun." Plus, we can drink and then kiss some more.