Buffy packed slowly wishing to draw out her return to Sunnydale as long as possible. Methos knew what she was doing, but said nothing, seemingly content in the fact that she was holding true to her word.
With every bag she packed however, her nervousness grew. It was September already and school had already started again. Buffy knew that going back would mean attempting to get back into either Sunnydale high, or some other arrangement. The idea of facing Snyder, along with her friends and the senior class terrified her.
She had changed so much over the summer, because of Angel, because of Methos. She wasn't sure she could ever truly explain it to them, or if they could ever really understand. She missed them desperately and part of her wished she could stay here with Methos and Joe and the others. They offered a safety that Sunnydale never could.
It's why I have to go back, she reminded herself. Safety and me never did go together.
She sighed, wondering where Methos had gotten to. She had finally finished packing all her stuff, but was hoping he wouldn't notice that for a little while. She wanted to say good-bye to the others more fully. They had seen her once since she defeated Klossen to say congratulations but then had been suspiciously absent for the next few days.
Even Methos had been fairly distant towards her, which upset her slightly. She would be leaving fairly soon and she had wanted some more time with him. Part of her wondered if it had been the kiss between them that caused him to leave every morning and return late in the evening. She hoped not. They had grown so close. She would hate to think that her salvation would be what in the end pushed them apart.
She was distracted from her thoughts by the familiarity of Methos' immortal buzz and the sound of the door closing. Buffy felt her pulse quicken as she realized Methos was back.
"You're all packed?" He sounded slightly disappointed by that as he entered the room and eyed her suitcase.
"Almost," she told him. "I just need to pack some toiletries and whatnot. When did you want me to go?"
"Buffy, I'm not trying to get rid of you." Methos' voice was soft and gentle. She looked into his face and saw genuine worry there.
"I didn't….I mean, I just…." she trailed off, unable to voice what she was thinking. "I promised I would leave. And I don't want to make you think that I'm not committed or anything so if you want me to go now…I'm ready."
"This may come as a shock to you Buffy," Methos said with a small smile. "But I really don't want you to leave. I think you have to leave. But I don't want you to."
"So…when?"
"Whenever you feel most comfortable." He replied firmly. "I know I made you promise to go, but if this is something that might take more time I'm willing to give it that. I…I can't say I'm all that eager for this apartment to be so empty again."
Methos looked away from her gaze, silently admonishing himself for his words. He should have been telling her to leave as soon as possible. Any more time spent would only make it harder on him when she left and yet, he couldn't force himself to kick the young girl out. She still seemed so vulnerable and even though he knew she was anything but, he was a sucker for it anyway. Duncan would get a kick out of this if he only knew…he thought ironically. Usually he's the one done in by the doe-eyes of a woman.
He looked back to her and smiled casually, hiding his thoughts from her as only a man of his age and experience could.
She seemed uncertain about his leniency regarding their deal, but relaxed slightly anyway.
"Thanks Methos, I appreciate it, but I really do think I should go as soon as possible." She sighed. "I have to face them all at some point and the sooner it happens, the better. The more I delay this….well, it's hard enough anticipating them hating me as it is."
"Well you can't leave tonight." Methos said firmly. A strange twinkle played in his eyes. "And tomorrow is a no-no either. So how 'bout the day after that?"
"Tomorrow?" She echoed, confused. "What's tomorrow?"
"A surprise." Methos replied conspiratorially. "You'll see tomorrow night. Day after tomorrow then?"
"Yea," she replied, her voice hoarse for some reason. "Sounds like a plan."
"It does," Methos agreed, though in his heart he felt a great sadness settle within him.
Methos drove Buffy to Joe's bar the next night in silence. The surprise he had mentioned was a hastily thrown together good-bye party. The others had been curious as to why Buffy would have to leave, but did not question it any further than Methos would allow.
Still, they wanted to send her off with their love and their well wishes, so Methos had agreed to a party and agreed to allow Duncan to put it together. Joe had offered to get the band together to play as well.
It was incredibly heart warming to see that the others would miss her almost as much as he would. He hoped that Buffy would see it the same way Methos had-that she had made herself a part of the group that couldn't be denied.
When they pulled into the parking lot, she looked at him quizzically.
"The place looks closed." She frowned with disappointment. She had hoped that Methos' 'surprise' would be a trip to Joe's to say good-bye to the others, but found her heart drop as she noticed the lights out and the place shut down. Nobody seemed to be in there.
"Yea, I know I just have to get a few things." Methos replied as he exited the car. "You want to come in with me?"
She shrugged, feeling she had no other choice and followed Methos as he led the way to the inside of the bar.
It was like one of those after school specials, she remembered thinking, because the moment she turned the light on, Joe, Duncan and Richie all jumped out from behind various tables and the bar, and yelled "surprise!"
She grinned as she looked around to see various balloons and streamers as well as a banner that said 'good-bye Buffy, we'll miss you' in bold letters. She looked over to Methos who was smiling broadly and silently admonished herself for not catching on to the whole party in the first place.
"You like?" He whispered in her ear. She threw her arms around him and impulsively hugged him.
"It's great Methos, thank you!"
"Don't thank me!" He said, throwing his hands to the air in a mock gesture of surrender. "Thank Duncan. He put the whole thing together. I was just the help."
"When Methos told us you were leaving, I had to do something." Duncan told her as he stepped over to where they were standing. "You've done a lot for us. And we may have clashed but…"
"Thank you Duncan," she said warmly embracing the highlander and hugging him until she felt him choke slightly. She released him and smiled, slightly embarrassed. "Thank you all of you. You made me feel welcome when I thought I never would be again. You don't know what that means to me."
"You saved my ass from a crazy immortal." Richie told her, his eyes dancing with humour. "You don't know what that means to me…or my head."
Buffy grinned and hit him lightly in the shoulder.
"Any time." She promised him. Richie smiled back.
"Anybody for some music?" Joe was asking as he opened the door to the back room and ushered his band on stage. Buffy took Methos' hand and led him over to a table to watch. They were followed by Richie and Duncan who exchanged meaningful looks that Buffy couldn't decipher.
The rest of the night passed by in a blur for both Buffy and Methos. She had not felt this light hearted in a good long while and it was a much needed relief considering what she would be facing the next day.
Methos seemed fairly happy as well, his earlier distance replaced by warmth and laughter. She liked him like this. She liked all of them like this. She was able to watch the banter between them and not long for a group of her own. She had one. She was going home to them. And yet, there was no question that she belonged to this group as well. These people had somehow become a part of her that she could not separate from.
She would miss Joe's fatherly demeanour. His gruff affection had become something that she had learned to lean on, to depend on.
She would miss Richie's goofiness. His maturity as an immortal dampened by his extreme enthusiasm for life. He was an incorrigible flirt and Buffy was now beginning to find comfort, even amusement in flirting with him.
She would even miss Duncan. She knew now why his attitude had clashed so much with hers. He was too much like Angel. But unlike Angle, his morals were too refined for her to ever live up to his standards. Still, she knew that he was capable of getting past that, of caring for her and for Methos despite their differences. And she would miss him.
Methos…well he was a given. She didn't know if he was even aware of how much she cared for him, or how much he cared for her. Now was not the time to ask however, so she kept silent and enjoyed the evening for what it was…a night out with her friends.
Methos watched the slayer's smile light up the room over and over that night but found it difficult to be saddened by the fact that it would not do so again. She was too infectiously happy for him to be brought down.
He drank deeply and laughed loudly enjoying everything the night had to offer.
And then he came back to reality the moment Joe suggested they call it a night.
"Buffy has an early bus ride tomorrow morning, am I correct?"
"Yea, kind of." She replied, looking down at the floor. "Look, I want you guys to know that I might be leaving, but I really really will miss you. You have no idea how much you have meant to me…all of you."
"We're gonna miss you too kid." Joe told her with a warm smile. "You make sure you call when you get back and let me know you got there OK?"
"Yea, no problem." She promised. "If you want…I can give my watcher-Giles your number, so that you can keep in touch. You're knowledge might be helpful later on."
"I'd like that." Joe replied. She hugged him quickly before emotion got the better of her and looked over to Richie.
"I'll miss you Rich," she whispered as she hugged him tight.
"Me too," he said. Then, shyly, "you ever need a date on a Saturday night, don't hesitate to call me up OK?"
"Sure, anytime." She replied, but knew that he wasn't serious. The words might have been flirtatious, but the look in his eyes said firmly and resolutely, friend. Buffy liked that.
"Thank you." Duncan was saying to her. "For saving Richie….for fighting Klossen. Slayers are remarkable people and I feel honored to have met you."
"Same to you, Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod."
"Mac," he corrected softly.
"Mac," she echoed. She embraced him once more and then allowed Methos to take her by the hand and lead her out to the parking lot. The night was cool and the air felt fresh, in a way that only fall can. Buffy breathed in deep, and exhaled, allowing the tears she had been withholding to come with it.
"What's wrong?" Methos asked, concern in his eyes. She shook her head, attempting to reassure him.
"I don't know." She finally said after a moment or two of crying. "I…I guess I'm just sad that I've met all of you and have to leave. You're like….well, like family. Like the gang is to me at home. I don't know if I'll even be as comfortable with them again as I am with…"
"Ssshh," Methos said gently as he cupped her chin to meet his gaze. His smile was warm and sent tingles through her that she previously would have ignored. "You will. You'll go home and you'll fight monsters, and you'll see your friends and you'll belong again. I guarantee it. This isn't goodbye forever Buffy. I will see you again. I'll make sure of that."
"I just…" she bit her lip, not wanting to give him too much hope, but needing him to know that suddenly she trembled when he touched her in a way that she hadn't in so long. "I don't want to leave you. I…"
"I know." Methos cut her off, his voice strangled slightly. "Buffy you don't have to…I know."
"I guess I just want to say thank you." She finally managed to say, as the wind whistled through her hair. "I…I know, it was Duncan that put that together and all, but you…everything you've done for me since the beginning…thank you."
"We should get home." Methos said as he reluctantly stepped back from her and headed towards the driver's side of his Range Rover.
Buffy nodded and said no more and the rest of the drive was spent in silence.
Inside the apartment, she went through the motions of readying herself for bed, but when it came down to time to sleep, she found it impossible. After tossing and turning for an hour or so, she found herself waking once more and heading towards the living room to watch some TV.
She nearly bumped into Methos as she did so. He looked at her in surprise at first, but then found himself chuckling softly. She did too.
"Great minds think alike." She told him, remembering the phrase her mother used to use every time they ordered the same chocolate Sunday at McDonalds when she was a kid.
"Fools seldom differ," Methos added. She grinned and made her way over to the couch.
Methos was struck by a wave of tenderness as he watched Buffy perch herself on the couch, and tuck her legs under as she sat down. Our last night…
With a small sigh, he sat down next to her and reached for the remote.
Within moments, she was pressed up against his shoulder, inhaling the scent of his just-out-of-the-dryer t-shirt as they watched some bad music videos together, neither really paying much attention. She could smell the scent of his skin, feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, and everything was right at that moment. He was warm, human and solid. Nothing could touch her, or harm her. She had her friend to hold her close as she closed her eyes.
Methos watched with quiet reverence as the slayer drifted off in his arms, struck by the depth of his feelings for her. She felt perfect nestled up against him, as if she was meant to be there. He knew it was too much to hope she felt the same, but he allowed himself to imagine what it might be like to curl up together one day in bed, as equals, as lovers.
Tonight though he was content to be her friend. He was content to pretend that nothing existed beyond this night. He was content to fall asleep once more to the tv droning softly in the background, waiting for day to approach.
