Author's Note: This chapter's kinda short, but I added it cuz I thought it gave some good insight into the soldier Heero Yuy. ;P RnR, if you'd like. Oh, and BTW: the text in italicsis a dream sequence.

Rating: PG, w/ mild language and innuendo.


CHAPTER FOUR: The Mentality

The irritating buzz of static was beginning to chisel its' way at his patience, the fingers holding the tiny radio in place now tightening their hold. Gingerly, the fingers of the other hand twisted the channel knob slightly, trying to catch the faint signal that the distant news station was emitting. Heero had forgotten why he was continuing to listen to scratchy hum to the radio, for he had already found out what happened after he'd escaped. Apparently, the bombs the girl had planted were all rigged to go off in the eastern side of the building, where they were when it exploded. Many people were panicked, some were injured, and three were found dead. Only one, however, died in the explosion, for authorities found the other two had bullet holes in their heads. Thinking back, Heero remembered why.

Sighing through his nose, he glanced down at his watch, noting the time: six in the morning. He'd been sitting in the back pew of the chapel for well over three hours now, fiddling with whatever he could find. The radio occupied him long enough to realize that the authorities didn't have a clue. Heero gave the radio a disgusted grimace, throwing the box of annoying static to the ground roughly. It was useless now.

Slowly pushing himself into the standing position, Heero tried his best not to limp as he made his way back to the hospital room, tucking the revolver he found in a hidden part of the church into the back of his pants. Taking a deep breath, he teetered slowly into the room, growling at his leg's sensitivity as he moved to the girl's side.

She was still comatose.

Giving his neck a slow and well-needed rub, he threw his gaze to the bedside table, staring darkly at the mini-laptop he found hidden in her dress, which was now in a crumpled pile on the floor. The laptop, however, was in several pieces, the glass screen cracked and black. This allowed all of Heero's problems to be sealed up inside of his captive's unconscious head. Something he was not happy with.

Languidly, he shifted his attention and checked the girl's facial injuries, a finger tracing the bruise he had so graciously given her hours ago. His finger then trailed down to her neck, and he checked her pulse, looking at the clock again to time her heart rate.

A little below normal, but not too dangerous.

He continued his examination, being as indifferent as possible, moving the thick wool blanket lower to check the gash on her chest, exposing all of her upper body. The sudden nakedness that flooded his eyes wanted to stir something in his chest, but the years of training he had endured when he was younger quickly silenced the fluttery feeling – emotions gave way for weakness. Now was not the time for petty hormones and emotions; he was keeping her alive strictly for business. Being a little less gentle than before, he ran the pad of his thumb down the large slash, feeling her chest rise and fall slowly as she breathed.

Heero then slowly peeled the blanket further off of her right side, thankful he had kept her undress after he'd bandaged her earlier – if he hadn't, he would have a much harder time cleaning her wound again. Taking a deep breath, he calmly examined the small but deep laceration just below her breast. Averting his eyes from her nudity, he removed the bandage carefully, flushed and sterilized the wound, and began putting a fresh dressing on it.

While he opened and prepped the binding for her chest, Heero's eyes moved up to her face, his indigo orbs gazing numbly at the girl's unconscious expression, his mind buzzing softly with questions he needed her to answer. Who is she working for, what are her orders, where is she from…a million things needed to be addressed all at once.

At the same time, though, a piece of him found a common ground with his comatose captive, and for some reason, Heero took a moment to reflect on himself.

He was all about business. He was given an order, a location, and a gun. After giving his all, he either succeeded or failed. He permitted nothing but the mission premise to guide his thoughts. He was a soldier. But…so was she. These new and conflicting ideas whirled slowly in Heero's head, bombarding him with things he head not taken time to contemplate. Is she the enemy? Should she pay for the wrong-doing recently, or the people giving her orders? She's just a soldier, following orders. She's just a girl.

Absently, he allowed his eyes to wander down her body chastely. Heero was not an innocent. He'd seen this before. He knew what a woman's body looked like. He worked along side four other male soldiers, one of them an obnoxious American. Hardcore nudity wasn't easy to avoid. He has seen enough pornography to know what and how things looked and sounded. After all, he was forced to share a dorm with Duo. Whatever naivety Heero had about sex was long gone. What he didn't know, however, was how it felt. Sex was never on the top of his 'To Do' list, and the more he considered it, the more it seemed that he had rarely even thought about. Heero had hardly ever allowed someone to get close enough to get to know him, let alone touch him.

And now, standing over a naked and wounded female soldier, Heero recognized that it was possible for him to want to be with someone. He could desire, he could even lust. Languidly his gaze traveled up to the girl's face again. Could he want a woman? Could he ever lust after one? Could he ever fall in love? It felt odd to him to say that to himself, even if it was just mentally. Lust, love, passion…all of it seemed confusing. And, from what he had heard, it appeared as though all of those things could be very hurtful, too.

He sighed.

Letting all of those unusual thoughts fade away, Heero covered her back up with the heavy, withered fleece, assuming just by the feel of the afghan that it must not be pleasant on her bare skin.

Oh well.

Stretching in exhaustion, Heero made his way over to a musty cushioned armchair set adjacent to the hospital bed that she lie in, plopping down with a tired "oof". He'd been awake for thirty-eight hours now, and his eyes and body ached for sleep. But he can't rest, not now. Closing his eyes, Heero leaned back into the antiquated armchair, feeling the familiar, heavy blanket of unconsciousness wrap him in its comforting warmth. Though he tried to fight it, he found himself drifting…

-

A young girl of sixteen with dirty blonde hair and innocent blue eyes walked through the plane's tiny isle toward him, in business attire. She bowed politely to him as she passed, probably unable to recognize him with out his black shorts and green top. Her perfume tickled his senses as she did so, the scent made to entice anyone interested.

Heero, though, felt nothing.

He found himself moving quickly off the plane, and he heard her gasp softly in surprise as she begun to seat herself, feeling her attention shift to him. Now off the airliner, Heero looked up at her window and saw her beaming down at him in gratitude for the gift he'd left her. She waved and gave the ribbon-bound teddy bear a kiss on the cheek.

He merely nodded.

Soon the memory flickered away, leaving him to think for a moment.

That was Relena. Of the few times Heero considered Relena as anything more than a friend, this was one of those times. He recalled the many times when she was inches from his face, and how her eyes begged him to come close, and let her taste him. Her presence alone seemed to pull at him, wanting nothing but to have him. Heero remembered many times, lying awake at night, trying to ignore her constant baiting and silently considering what to do. He didn't deny that her obsession flattered him, as much as a stoic soldier can be flattered, but the idea of touching her, having her, allowing her or anyone to see him with his guard down…it bothered him. It distracted him. And for the soldier Heero Yuy, distractions should be eliminated or ignored.

They led two entirely different lifestyles. To act on simple, physical attraction would be wrong. Heero may not be a romance coinsure, but he knew that much. And the more she pushed, the more he distanced himself.

And so, Heero gave the matter no further thought. He would be her friend, her protector, but that was it. Again, with Relena, it was business. It would always be business. With everyone, it would be business, unless he could force himself to do otherwise.

Suddenly, in an erratic burst of color, another image swirled into view, the dark colors and lights of last night's ballet coming into focus. Gradually, the now familiar face of the American girl greeted his eyes with a rich spiral of colors, her face molded into a small smile. The sound of calming music floated in the air, and the girl's voice echoed in his head, bouncing off the walls of his skull.

"I'm goin' have to kill you…Just when I was starting to like you…"

The casual tone of the girl made Heero uneasy. If she was a soldier, like him, why is she mixing emotion with business? True, Heero had impulsively acted on emotion in battle, but…the idea of being so casual about something you had specific orders for…it was foreign to Heero. It also intrigued him.

The image continued on, to the dance floor, rehearsing the waltz, and Heero watched himself with mild curiosity as they danced, the girl spinning out widely. Something about this was different, though, for as she returned to his embrace, she drew her gun, shoved him to the floor, and pushed the weapon into Heero's forehead, a loud bang heard when she squeezed the trigger.

-

Heero gasped.

His head spun as he looked around in panic, but he instinctively calmed himself. Steadying his breathing, he slowly sat up.

It was all a dream.

Damnit. He hadn't meant to fall asleep.

He cleared his throat and stretched his leg's, but couldn't help but feel eyes on him. Slowly, he looked to the girl's bed.

Confused, piercing eyes peered back at Heero, a slender hand clutching the blanket around her as she sat upright. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips moved wordlessly at him.