She stared at the little blue line on the plastic stick. She felt nauseous, fairly sure it was from nerves. Her voice sounded rough when she spoke.

"Is blue good or bad?"

"Buffy, there's no good or bad here. We'll deal with it regardless of what the answer is."

"Dammit, Angel, just give me the damn box. It's not bad to you. You're not the one that might be carrying the product of a date rape. Is blue good or bad?" Her eyes filled with tears and she forced them back.

Angel cleared his throat and reread the back of the box, even though he'd read it a dozen times, even though he had a photographic memory. "Blue…blue means you're pregnant."

The sound of the stick hitting the concrete floor was unnaturally loud. The world shimmered and then winked into blackness as Buffy fainted.

She woke up to a cool rag on her forehead. She opened her eyes, not surprised to find out she was lying on Angel's bed in his apartment.

"You're awake."

Buffy started at Angel's voice. He was sitting in the corner reading. She groaned as recollection washed back in. She was pregnant. She sat up, removing the cool rag Angel had laid across her forehead.

"I wish I wasn't."

Angel set his book aside, got up and came to sit down on the bed next to her. He gathered her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "I'm here, Buffy. No matter what happens, I'm right here."

Tears welled in Buffy's eyes. She shook her head. "No, Angel. I can't do this…I can't… I can't be pregnant…I can't…They raped me! I don't even remember, just these flashes…it's not fair! I'm sixteen years old. I don't want to be pregnant."

Angel rocked her gently while she cried. He wished those boys weren't in jail. He'd rip them from limb to limb for causing Buffy this much pain. "It's not fair and if there were a way to make it right, I would. I can't, so I'm going to do the only thing I can do. I'll be here for you, anything you need, all you have to do is ask."

She didn't answer, just curled her body tighter into his. After several moments she whispered, "Can you take it all away, Angel? Just take it all away."

Buffy started lying to Giles and her mom, using the other as an albi. She'd skip out after lunch and show up at Angel's apartment. She'd spend the rest of the afternoon snuggled up in his bed while he read to her until she fell asleep. He always woke her up before sunset, order her to go home and eat, then promise he'd meet her after dark to help with patrol.

She started showing up earlier and earlier. The morning she woke Angel up at eleven o' clock, he knew he had to do something. He tugged a shirt over his head and opened the door, knowing it was her by the tingle in his belly even before he saw her. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of her, he stepped back, letting her in.

"I couldn't stand it. I'm nauseous. Xander was eating Twinkies and I nearly threw up on him. I didn't want to explain, so I came here."

Angel sighed. He couldn't lecture her about it when she was feeling nauseous. "I'll get you some crackers and orange juice." It was the only thing that calmed her stomach.

Once she'd eaten her crackers and drank her juice, Buffy laid down in Angel's bed. He sat in a chair next to her and held her hand.

"You're going to have to tell them sometime."

She shook her head and her eyes filled with tears. "I can't. They're going to be so disappointed in me."

Angel reached out and traced the line of her cheek bone, her jawbone and her trembling bottom lip. "No, Buffy, they could never be disappointed in you. They all love you so much. This is not your fault."

"I lied to Giles. I lied to Mom. I took that drink…This is all my fault, Angel."

"Yes, those things are your fault, but the things that happened afterward…the blame for those belong firmly placed on the shoulders of those boys."

"What if…what if Xander and Willow don't want anything to do with me?" Buffy asked.

"That's not going to happen. They're your best friends."

"And Mom…oh God, what if Mom…what if she doesn't want me anymore?" Buffy face crumbled and she dissolved into tears.

Angel moved to the bed. He gathered Buffy in his arms, wrapping his body around hers. He stroked her hair and rocked her. "That's not going to happen."

Buffy said something else, protesting but she was crying so hard he couldn't understand her.

"I'll take care of you, Buffy. I'll always take care of you."

Joyce's first instinct had been to call the police. Buffy had refused to let her do that, insisting that the boys were already in jail for a very long time, besides she didn't want to have to rehash the vague memories she had over again. She was afraid the more she dwelled on those flashes of memory, the clearer they would become, eventually so clear she couldn't live with them.

Giles had reacted with an unexpected burst of temper that left his favorite tea set in shards scattered around the library. Xander had punched a hole in the wall. Willow had gone scarlet with anger. None of them showed any signs of disappointment in Buffy, nor did they blame her in any way.

Once everyone had finished with their fits of anger, they all gathered around the library table to decide what happened next.

"I'll call the council, let them know you need a break from slaying. Perhaps they can send some of their special ops teams…" Giles trailed off.

Buffy shook her head. "No, Giles. I don't…that'll end up in a diary somewhere and I'd really rather…People in Sunnydale have to know, it'll be kind of obvious eventually but I don't want it to go any further than necessary."

Giles nodded. "I can certainly understand your wishes, Buffy. The fact remains that we live on a Hellmouth and it needs a slayer."

"And it's got one," Buffy snapped.

"Buffy, you're with child. You can't slay. You might get hurt," Giles said.

"And what? Lose the baby? News Flash, Giles, that'd be a welcome thing. I don't want this baby. I was raped. I just want to be Buffy, normal sixteen year old slayer Buffy!"

She got up and ran out of the library in tears. Angel started to go after her, but Willow stopped him with a touch. "This is kind of best friend territory. I promise I'll call you if she needs you."

Angel nodded. "Thank you." He watched as the red head walked out of the library to go after Buffy. He looked over at Giles. "I'll help her with the slaying. I'll make sure that she stays safe and things get done."

Giles kept his eyes fixed on the spot Buffy had disappeared. This was hurting him more than the Englishman would ever admit. He nodded, finally turning to Angel. "Thank you."

It was on the tip of Angel's tongue to say he loved her too. He shook his head. No, he was a vampire. She was the slayer. He couldn't love her…and yet he knew he did. He had since the moment he laid eyes on her.

Willow found Buffy in the girl's bathroom curled in the corner, her body jerking with silent sobs. The red head didn't say anything, she just curled herself around her friend, hugging Buffy to her and letting her cry herself dry.

"It's gonna be okay, Buffy."

Buffy shook her head. "No it's not, Will. You don't understand, from this moment, no matter what happens, I can never be a teenager again. If I ever was one…I can't remember, Will. I can't remember what's like to just be a teenager and now I never will."

Willow hugged her again, stroking her hair softly and shushing her. "We all love you so much, Buffy. Giles, Xander, me, Angel, we're gonna do everything we can to help."

"I don't think you can, unless you know a way to turn back time and have me not go to that stupid frat party."

Willow looked at her sadly. "I'll start looking on EBay for a time machine." She managed a weak smile at Buffy.

Buffy smiled slightly. "Thanks, Will."

Willow nodded. "That's what best friends do."