Chapter Five
"Buffy."
She jumped at the sound of her name in the darkened hallway.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I was just on my way here to meet you," Jenny said stepping out of the shadows.
"I'm supposed to meet Giles, pre-patrol meeting."
Jenny nodded. "Yeah, that's the problem. Willow and Xander were near the Bronze. They heard something and investigated. There's some kind of demon goo Giles wants you to get a look at."
"Demon goo? Giles wants me to look at demon goo on my birthday?" Buffy stared at Jenny and raked her fingers through her hair. She shook her head. "Alright, where is it exactly?"
"I'll take you. My car's out front," Jenny offered.
Buffy nodded. She really didn't feel like walking that far anyway. The fatigue was still kicking her butt and she was struggling to keep up with school and slaying. She knew if it weren't for Willow and Angel, she'd be failing in those departments. "Thanks."
Jenny's car was a small Volkswagen bug. Buffy laid her forehead on the cool window and closed her eyes for most of the drive, only opening them when Jenny stopped. The brunette smiled at her. "Still tired?"
"Yeah, I can't seem to kick it no matter how much sleep I get. Angel says it's normal. He's on this hyper reading thing. He knows way more about being pregnant at this point then I do," Buffy said as she hauled herself out of the car.
Jenny smiled at her. "He cares about you."
That made Buffy smile. She nodded. "Yeah. Me too…I mean I care about him. Thanks by the way, for working on the thing with his curse."
"I figure I owe it to him. I know Angelus did some horrible things in his time, but the longer I know Angel the more I understand he's not Angelus and he never was. It's not fair that he's being punished and denied happiness because of something someone else did."
Buffy nodded. "I've tried to tell him that. He's got the guilt thing down to an art." She looked around for the first time. "This is the alley behind the Bronze. The demon got that close? Man, I'm gonna have to step up patrols."
"Yeah, Giles said something about he thought it was actually in the Bronze at one point. He wanted you to check it out." Jenny opened the back door to the Bronze and ushered Buffy inside with a wave.
"Great…really great," Buffy muttered as she gripped her stake tighter, keeping it slightly raised as she walked.
"SURPRISE!"
The stake fell to the floor with a clatter. Tears sprang to Buffy's eyes at the sight of her friends, her watcher and her boyfriend. She covered her face with her hands and started sobbing. Willow, Xander, Giles, Jenny and Angel were quick to crowd around her. Oz and Cordelia hung back.
"What's the matter, Buffy?" Willow asked as she fluttered her hands over Buffy's shoulders and arms.
"You guys doing all this for me," Buffy half sobbed.
Everyone relaxed and stepped back. Angel mouthed the word hormones and everyone stepped further back. Buffy swiped at her eyes and sniffled.
"You must think I'm an idiot, crying over something like this."
Everyone was quick to say of course they didn't. An upset, hormonally unbalanced slayer was the last thing anyone wanted to deal with. Angel had noticed a drop in vampires; even they didn't want to deal with one.
Buffy couldn't have wished for a more blissfully demon free night. They laughed, danced, ate chips and cake and ice cream until it was time to open presents. Xander had gotten her a dozen, brand new stakes with a B inside of a heart engraved on them. Willow gave her a pair of pink pajamas with flying pigs on them. Cordelia gave her a gift certificate for a facial.
"Thanks guys," Buffy hugged Xander and Willow.
"Its okay, no need to hug me. Your thanks are enough," Cordelia said.
"Here, Buff, you forgot one." Xander handed her a box wrapped in a piece of crimson velvet. She automatically looked at Angel. The old fashioned wrapping was definitely his style. He shook his head.
"I'm giving you yours on the way home."
Buffy knit her eyebrows together and turned the box over. She shrugged and opened it, the swatch of velvet falling away easily to reveal an old shoe box. She inspected it.
"No name on it." She lifted the lid to find an exquisite porcelain baby doll in a christening gown of some sort. She smiled, straightening the gown and picking it up carefully. "Wow, it's beautiful."
"No hint of who it's from?" Giles asked.
Buffy shook her head and placed the doll into Willow's outstretched hands.
"Oh, look. It's broken. How sad," the redhead observed. She pointed out the large crack running down one side of the doll's face.
Angel felt his stomach roil. He knew exactly who the doll was from.
"Come on ladies, less pondering about broken gifts and more dancing. It's not often I get to dance at the Bronze without looking like an idiot in front of everyone," Xander said urging the girls onto the dance floor.
"Only because there's not an everyone here," Cordelia reminded him.
"Ha Ha, you make with the jokes," Xander volleyed back.
"Oooo, Xander. You could show Buffy the snoopy dance! She's never seen it!" Willow exclaimed as they drifted out onto the floor.
It didn't take Giles long to wander close to Angel. "Have you an idea who the doll is from"
"I'll take care of it," Angel said. His eyes never left Buffy on the dance floor.
"Perhaps if I knew more-" Giles started.
"I'll take care of it."
"Very well then."
Angel was saved, or sentenced depending upon how he looked at it, when a slow song came on. Buffy smiled at him from the middle of the dance floor and held out her hand; he couldn't not go to her.
Angel cradled her against his body and tucked his nose into the crown of Buffy's hair. They swayed gently with the music. He listened as Buffy's breathing slowed and he felt her relax against him. He could hear her heart beating and underneath it the heartbeat of her baby, so fast and soft.
"Hmmm, this is nice."
"Very," he admitted.
"It's been a good birthday, better than last year," she whispered.
He kissed the top of her head. "I haven't given you your present yet."
She looked up at him with a sleepy smile. "Whose fault is that? I'm all about giftage."
He couldn't help breaking into a grin at the sight of her smile. She was beautiful in the way sunsets are beautiful. "I want to wait until we're alone."
"Hmmm alone sounds good. What did you have in mind?"
"I thought maybe I could take you back to my apartment. We could listen to music and do some more dancing." He smoothed a strand of her hair away from her face.
"Okay. Let's go. Now, please."
He chuckled and nodded. They said their goodbyes. Buffy hugged Willow one more time. Angel heard her whisper to the redhead. "If mom calls…"
"I'll take care of it," Willow promised.
"You're the best, Will."
Joyce knew about Angel in the sense that she knew of his existence. She didn't know he was a vampire or that he was so much older than Buffy. She had been worried enough at the idea of her daughter going out with a college student, but she'd seen how Angel had been there for Buffy through everything and she knew Buffy needed that support system right now. Buffy wasn't so sure how she'd feel if she knew how much time she spent with Angel at his apartment, time which was primarily innocent. Her previous experience and current circumstances had scared her and Angel both into keeping things innocent.
The walk back to Angel's apartment was short. He opened the door, letting Buffy in first. When he'd first moved here, he'd kept his door locked; now it was always left open for Buffy to stop by when she needed to. It was one tiny change in the chain of them he'd made since Buffy had come into his life.
Another was the small stereo sitting on the desk in his apartment. Buffy had complained that it was too quiet there one day. That evening he'd gone out to buy the stereo, along with some CD's. He put a soft mix CD on that Buffy had brought over one afternoon, lit some candles and took Buffy's hand. He led her over to the bed, pulling her down with him. He handed her a small silver ring.
"It's an Irish Claddagh ring. The crown means loyalty, the hands friendship and the heart…" he paused, wet his lips and took a deep breath only to find out he couldn't say the words. "You know. Wear it with the heart pointing inward. It means you belong to someone. Like this," he held out his left hand to show her that he wore a ring identical to the one she was holding.
Buffy's breath caught and tears shimmered in her eyes. She took Angel's hand in hers and kissed his ring. She slipped the ring on her finger, heart pointing in. "Like this?" Her voice sounded rough as she struggled not to cry.
Angel nodded. The sight of his ring on her finger brought tears to his own eyes. There was so much more he needed to tell her. "Buffy, this…these rings bind us. Not legally, not anymore, but at one time they were traditional Irish wedding bands."
Buffy smiled. She laid her hand against Angel's cheek. "We were already bound long before this, Angel."
He closed his eyes, soaking in her touch. "Since before I was born," he whispered.
Her lips were soft and hungry on his. He pulled her body in close to his. One hand tangled in her hair, the other ran down the length of her body, memorizing the curve of it, the soft swell of her breast, the dip of her waist, sway of her hip and that slight swell of her stomach against him. He opened his eyes with a groan.
"Buffy, maybe we shouldn't-" he started.
She pulled away, turning her back to him and her body curling in on itself. He sat up, glided his fingers over her spine. She shook her head. "You don't have to touch me, Angel."
"Buffy…no. It's not that…I-I love you. I've tried not to. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it."
She turned to him, reaching out to touch him, her fingertips telling her what she couldn't believe. She leaned her forehead against his, her lips a whisper away from his. "Me too…so much and I can't stop."
His tears won their battle and slipped down his face, pooling around her fingers. She closed her eyes and her lips found his of their own accord.
"Buffy, we shouldn't…" he trailed off, not really wanting her to listen.
"Shhhh… kiss me," she whispered.
He closed his eyes. She tasted like redemption, salvation and Heaven all rolled into one. He got lost in her and that's when he knew they had to stop. He closed his hands around her wrists, aching with regret and longing. He pulled away from her.
"Buffy, I can't. I will lose my soul in you and then I'll lose you."
Buffy's bottom lip quivered. She shook her head. "No, you can fight it. All those memories of your past…"
"You make the world fade away, Buffy. You make past and future irrelevant. All I see is you and if we make love, there won't be a past to pull me back. It will be just you and me. I'll lose my soul in you."
Buffy took a deep breath and nodded. Tears slipped out of the corners of her eyes and he kissed them away. "I'm sorry," he murmured.
Buffy shook her head. "I'm not. It's…you love me that much. It's a small price to pay for love like that."
