Chapter 4
She already knew the answer. Laura could see the realization begin to dawn in the young woman's eyes. She knows. The green of her eyes became almost black in intensity and Laura watched Jessica lowered her head and scribbled more words.
"Tell me." What was the point in refusing her? The girl already knew where she was. But Laura could empathize. She wanted the satisfaction of hearing the answer.
"You're on board the battlestar Galactica." Laura replied. Jessica went very pale. Hearing the words had brought the surge of hatred blazing up within her. So high up into her chest that she couldn't breathe. She gulped for air shakily. Her body shuddered and she leaned back against the pillows. Jessica swallowed hard. She closed her eyes. Oh she couldn't think. She couldn't do anything through this haze of rage.
"Are you alright?" Laura asked her. GET OUT! Jessica wanted to scream. Get out you frakking bitch! But instead, Jessica settled for throwing the notepad and pen at her. Laura jumped back.
"Jessica-" Jessica leaned across the mattress and physically shoved at the woman. I'll kill her. So help me, if she doesn't get out I'll frakking kill her. "Alright. I'll go. But I'll be back later. We need to talk and you need to understand-" The plastic cup caught Laura on the side of her head. Laura closed her eyes and let out a resigned sigh and turned to leave her alone.
Jessica didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the irony of it all. Saved by the very people who all but handed her over to the Cylons in the first place. She wondered if her father, who always managed to the find the humor in things, would find the humor in this. Why? Her mother had always tried to instill in her the belief that every thing had a reason. There was an order to the universe that we may not always understand. Oh no frakking kidding momma! Unless...... Jessica's purpose here was to get her revenge. It made a clear sort of sense if one took the time to think it through. Karma and all that. Jessica lay back against the pillow and took a deep breath. She let it out slowly. Meditate. As her father had taught her. Or had tried to. He tried to hammer the point home that she needed to clear her mind and that never seemed an option for her. Her thoughts were always blasting through her, sometimes over lapping but always there. Her mind was never quiet. Now she closed her eyes and saw his face. She opened her eyes quickly but he was still there at the back of her mind, hovering. Lee. That was his name. It made her feel sort of nauseous inside. Like her stomach was bouncing around up in her chest. Kill him? She wondered if that was why she'd seen his face. Focus! Everything was so damn muddled in her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut and there he was again.
"Frak. Go away!" She mumbled and then realized that she'd said the words out loud. Choked, and groggy but audible. She'd begun to worry there that she'd never get her voice back so that was no small relief. She cleared her throat and tried again. "What should I do?" Still wheezy but she was getting there. Was that her sign? Did this mean she was on the right track? She had to kill this Lee person? Sadness......oh no she didn't! She would not feel guilty about what she had to do. The son of a bitch deserved to die after what those monsters had done to her parents. But why him? Why not the commander? Unless.....Oh yes. Lee and the Commander were connected some how. His son. The knowledge made her tremble, with fear or anticipation, she chose not to decipher. The commander had taken her family from her. Now she would do the same.
The activity outside her room was still minimal this early morning. Those who were there were busy and paid her no mind. Jessica fingered the scalpel she held hidden in her sleeve. Could she do it? Actually kill the man. She'd thought about killing the Cylons repeatedly while they'd held her captive. But they weren't human. Jessica stopped in the corridor and leaned against the wall taking deep shaky breaths. Courage. She had to draw her from her hatred. Let it strengthen her. She called up the images of her mother's death. The small, fine boned woman with big blue eyes and brown hair standing proud, eyes never wavering from her daughter. Four Cylons. Two to hold Megan Talbot's arms outstretched. Two to riddle her with bullets. Jessica's knees buckled at the storm of fresh anguish. Jessica shook her head willing away the pain. The hate. She needed the hate. She walked until she sensed she was in front of the right door. Lee's face came to her mind yet again. Oh yes. She understood what she had to do. Jessica looked along the empty corridor watching for anybody else. When she was certain nobody would come upon her, she turned the doorknob and entered the room. The lights were off. Good. She did not need the light to find him.
Lee Adama couldn't sleep. He was usually still wired through the late hours. He hadn't gotten used to the new shifts his so-called lofty position allowed him. As captain of the air group, he was able to pick the shifts he wanted......or should have been but ever since the renewed Cylon threat the pilots had been pulling double duty. Himself included, which was fine by him most of the time. He was in the air during the day and while adrenaline still shot through his veins, he parked his ass in his office and tackled the paperwork of the day. Usually this was a tedious enough task that it knocked him out shortly after the adrenaline eased. Three or four hours were how long the left over rush usually lasted and he could get a good chunk of work done in that time but not tonight.
Tonight he was distracted and it was pissing him off. His mind kept drifting to the young woman in Life Station. A seer. Frak. As if he didn't have enough problems without worrying some chick was gonna see into his mind. But there she was. In his mind, but it was him thinking of her which made it all the more annoying. They knew nothing about the girl. Just that she was a civilian.......or so Dr Salik believed. Who knew these days? Cylons no longer were easily recognizable by the big ass tin cans they used as hosts for their consciousnesses. So that was why he was thinking about her. Lee reasoned. He was simply wary. He was being.....Well, he was being Lee Adama, Lee thought with a smirk. Always cautious. Always careful. Always one more catastrophe away from his first grey hair. He got flak for it but Lee didn't know how to be any other way. A tight-ass, they called him behind his back.....And well, Kara called him that to his face. But it kept him alive, kept him working efficiently. But pretty little psychic chicks were not a part of his duty outline. No. But the safety of the Galactica was his responsibility too. That was why Lee was watching her. Or, less obviously, having a few security men watching her. Inconspicuously of course. Someone who knew they were watched would never show their true colors. So they stayed out of sight, just in case. If Little Miss Seer turned out to be working for the enemy, they'd find out soon enough. And then.....Lee gave a tired sigh. He'd do what he had to do. As always.
"Sir?" A knock on the door and a familiar voice jolted Lee from his thoughts.
"Come in." Lee called out. The door opened and one of the security officers.......frak, he was always terrible at names. Mark....or Max.....or Mike or some such, popped his head in.
"You wanted to know if she left Life Station." The man said. Lee felt a tightening in his gut and heaviness in his chest. Regret? Don't be frakking stupid, Adama. You can't afford regret. He nodded at Mr. Whats-his-face and tucked his pistol into the waistband of his pants.
Jessica walked through the dark room towards the thick male snore. Lee Adama was a loud sleeper, she noticed with a distant fascination. She was almost tempted to turn on the light to watch him. Her limbs shook. Not from fear, she told herself, from lying in the bed for too long. She let the blade she pulled from the medical cart slide down her sleeve to rest against the palm of her hand. She fought to hold on to the certainty that Captain Adama deserved to die but the strength of that conviction was ebbing. Uncertainty was beginning to creep through her veins. Something was off. Something was wrong. Realization began to dawn that she had made a mistake somewhere but her brain was still to addled to figure out what the mistake was. Pushing her weakness aside she bent over Lee Adama's bed. She pictured him lying there in her mind even though she couldn't physically see him. Her fingers felt for his pulse. Strong and steady. One quick slice across the pulse and her parents could rest in peace.
"Wake up, Captain." She whispered hoarsely. As soon as her fingers touched his skin the truth shot through her with icy terror. This isn't Lee Adama's room. The knowledge came to her at the same instant that cold metal pressed against the back of her head.
"Drop it." A familiar male voice ordered behind her. That same voice had been the last thing she'd heard on the Cylon ship. Damn it. Jessica threw her arm backward blade in hand. But he was quicker. Grabbing a fist full of her hair Lee stepped back but not before the blade nicked his stomach. "I said drop it!" He yelled pushing the gun barrel painfully against her skull.
"Do it." She said softly. "Pull the trigger." Why not? What did she have left? The man in the bed woke at the sound of voices and leaned over to turn on his lamp. Jessica felt a surge of self-preservation and used Lee's distracted focus on his father to push against him and away from the line of fire. He snaked an arm around her waist before she could bolt for the door and sent them both crashing to the floor. He landed on top of her painfully. Lee's hands came up instinctively to protect her head from hitting the floor. Ridiculous considering he'd just had a loaded pistol pressed against the same head.
His breath was hot against her face and Jessica shuddered.......No. Not 'shuddered', shivered. Shivered at the warmth of him. Her body shifted beneath his and she saw his blue eyes glitter in the lamplight. The images assaulting her senses next sent her blood racing. A tangle of limbs, sticky with sweat. Chest with a sprinkle of golden hair tickling breasts. Blue eyes, hot with desire staring into hers from above her. Bodies arching against each other and being filled all the way up into her very soul. No.....No....Jessica shook her head to clear the images away but they remained. Yes.......yes...... Jessica watched herself whisper into his ear as he lost himself inside of her. As if Lee was reading her mind she suddenly felt a very prominent part of him making itself known. Panic welled up inside of her. Not him! Frak, anybody but him! "Get off of me." She seethed.
"What the hell is this?" Commander Adama asked groggily staring down at them from his bed. Lee started and then eased off of her, staring up at his father. His face pink with embarrassment although he hadn't done a damn thing wrong.
"On your feet." Lee demanded pulling Jessica upright, anger at himself making him rougher with her than he intended. But frak if he'd apologize. The girl was lucky he hadn't blown her brains out. "She tried to kill you." He explained to his father. William Adama startled with surprise. He glared at Jessica who stared back defiantly. He slid off his bed and walked towards her.
"We save your life and this is your idea of gratitude?" He asked.
"No, this is." Jessica said and proceeded to spit in his face. He took a deep breath, no doubt to stop himself from retaliating and removed his messed glasses.
"I was hoping you'd have been worth saving. It's to your detriment that I've been proved wrong." He informed her.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I not play my part well enough? Was I supposed to fall on my knees in gratitutude?" Jessica sneered.
"We could have left you behind to die." Lee said pointedly.
"I wish you had!" Jessica burst turning her head slightly to face him while he stood behind her, gun still pointed at her.. Her throat was starting to hurt again. Jessica swallowed before speaking again. Her voice thickening with emotion as the memory of her parent's deaths came to her again. "At least I'd be with my family. You killed them just to save me. Why? Huh?" She blinked back tears.
"What are you going on about? We're trying to give you a chance here for a real life. A safe life. You could work here for us. Your gift could help us. Who were your parents?" Adama asked.
"Megan and Alexander Talbot. Not that you would know them. You killed so many of us I can imagine it'd be hard to keep track". The tears were flowing freely now. Jessica wiped at her cheeks, ashamed and realized she was still holding the scalpel. Commander Adama saw it too and he took a step back. But instead of attacking him Jessica spun around to face Lee.
"You expect me to thank you for saving my life?"
"Drop the blade." Lee ordered pointing the gun at her chest.
"If I die, you son of bitch, it won't be by your hand." With that she pressed the blade against her throat. Lee's blue eyes widened with panic and for a split second she felt sorry that she would be adding her death to his already tortured conscience.
"No!" Lee cried dropping his gun and grabbing her. He shook her, trying to get her to relinquish her grip on the blade. Commander Adama stepped forward and made to grab her wrist. Jessica kicked him, sending him back onto his bed. She struggled in Lee's grasp but his arms were like iron, digging painfully around her ribs. She turned her head and tried to bite him. Her heart was racing painfully in her chest. Almost as if it would burst out of her chest. Then a strange sound filled her ears.....Almost like a soft thudding against her back....no inside, through her skin.....A second heartbeat. Fast but steady. In answer to the beat of hers. His heart......She was feeling Lee's heart....hearing it with hers. She whimpered with the pain of it. A soul tearing pain that burst through her and made her buckle her knees. Trying to hold her upright, Lee lost his balance and they both hit the floor again. Then Jessica was sobbing. Sobbing hard and he was holding her. Not so painfully now. Almost cradling her against him. Still, she felt his heart and the pain in it made hers feeling like it was breaking.
"I'm sorry." She sobbed. "I'm so sorry." She couldn't stop Lee's pain. She couldn't stop her own pain. She couldn't stop the Cylon's from killing her parents. All she could do was feel and know. This useless gift. How she hated it. It was because of her gift that she was spared. It was because of her gift that these men had saved her. Commander Adama kneeled next to the two of them. His face was softer now. Sympathetic. Jessica turned away from it. She didn't want his useless sympathy. All he cared about was what she knew. Rage filled her again and she reached for the blade she had dropped at their feet. She was cursed. Not gifted, cursed. Before Lee could register what she was doing, Jessica dragged the blade across the numbers on her forearm, drawing blood. She cried out in both physical and emotional pain.
"Stop that!" Adama said reaching to stop her hand as she scratched and tore at her skin, tearing at the blue star, blood running down through her fingers and onto Lee's thigh. Lee bent her wrist, snapping it, making her drop the blade with a fresh cry of pain. And then it all became too much. The physical pain, the grief, both hers and from the two men in the room. It all overloaded her senses and Jessica fainted.
