Chapter Five

Jessica opened her eyes reluctantly when she became aware of voices in the room.Seeing Kara Thrace standing next to the bed Jessica groaned and tried to turn away from her but Kara grabbed her arm and pulled her back to face her. "Oh no ya don't. You got some explainin' to do."

"I don't owe you any explanation." Jessica scowled.

"Ah, that's where your wrong. See you tried to kill someone I care about, and you hurt Lee too."

"Thanks." a male voice got Jessica's attention and she saw Lee sitting on the examination table being tended to by Dr Salik. Lee looked at Jessica warily, as if afraid she'd spring up from the bed and attack him again.

"Anytime." Kara said and then turned back to Jessica. "So Talbot. What's the deal here? We try and make nice by saving your ass and you try and slit Commander Adama's throat." she spoke casually enough but Jessica could feel the young woman's barely restrained fury. She cared about these two men. They were her family, or close enough to it....but there was something missing. A link in the chain that bound the three of them. William and Lee Adama, and Kara Thrace.

"Who's Zak?" Jessica asked suddenly. Kara blanched and behind her, so did Lee.

"Frak, are we done here?" Lee asked Dr Salik, desperate to bolt.

"Hold still, Captain." Dr Salik insisted stitching up the wound on his stomach.

"I'm sorry." Jessica said watching him trying to breathe through the pain.

"Oh that's nice. This you apologize for. You tried to murder our commander and you apologize for a nick"

"I'm not apologizing for that. I mean about your brother. That's who Zak was, right? He died?" she looked to Kara for confirmation.

"If you're Ms Know-It-All why even bother asking?" Lee snapped. Jessica cringed and turned her attention back to Kara.

"You left us behind." Jessica said blinking back tears. "Two years ago. You left us behind when you ran. The Cylons captured us and when they found out that.....well, what I could do...."

"Dr Salik told us." Kara said a little more sympathetically. "They tried to figure out how your brain worked."

"They killed my parents. When I wouldn't tell them what I knew." Jessica closed her eyes, When would the anguish be easier to bear? The heaviness of it pushed against her chest making it hard to breathe.

"I understand revenge. Trust me." Kara assured her, her blue eyes softer now. "But you have to understand that we had no choice."

"Lieutenant Starbuck may I remind you that we do not have to justify our actions to civilians. Mentally enhanced though they may be." Lee said curtly.

"Captain Apollo, shaddap." Kara tossed back. Jessica watched Lee's reaction to this. If it'd been anybody else....... That message came through loud and clear. Lee was not one to take atitude from any of his pilots but he and Kara were almost like family. Or maybe more? Jessica wondered watching them.

Lee caught her probing glance and decided to test Ms Know-It-All. If you can read my mind, kiss my ass. Jessica scowled at him.

"You're a rude bastard." she said.

"Sorry, knife wounds make me testy." he said.

"Alright children. Captain, you're all done here. Come see me tomorrow to check the dressing." Not if Ms Know-It-All is still here. Lee thought sliding off the table and storming towards the door.

"Don't worry, Captain, I'm sure I'll be gone, by then." Jessica called out. Lee stopped but didn't turn around.

Frakking smart ass little bitch.

"I suppose I can't really blame him." Jessica conceded though she wished she didn't. It was one of the drawbacks of knowing people's thoughts and emotions, along with the justifications for those emotions. Made it hard to hold a grudge.

"Lee's good people. He just left his personality back in Caprica." Kara explained.

"You were married to him."

Kara visibly startled. "To Lee? God no. We'd kill each other before the ceremony was over."

"No, Zak." Kara lowered her eyes but not before Jessica saw the flicker of pain.

"Engaged." Then she shook her head as if to shake off the subject. "Lee was having you watched."

" I figured as much. He doesn't trust me. I wouldn't trust me either." Jessica said. "Could you turn the lights down?" she asked looking over Kara's shoulder to Dr Salik.

"How come the light bothers you?" Kara asked. Jessica shrugged embarrassed but grateful when the lights dimmed.

"It was always so bright where they.....would work on me. I know it's stupid but lying here like this. It's almost like being back there. My mind is still screwing things up." Jessica explained feeling fresh tears burn in her eyes. Frak, would she never stop crying?

"That's to be expected for a while. Until the drugs you were given wear off we won't be able to accurately tell how to proceed in terms of your mental abilities." Dr Salik informed her. A knock on the door made all three of them turn. Commander Adama stuck his head in.

"Can I come in?" he directed his question to Jessica. It was hard not to respond to that small sign of respect. She nodded. "Lieutenant Starbuck. Doctor, if you two could leave us for a few minutes." Kara looked hesitantly at Jessica and the back at Commander Adama.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Go on." William said. When they were alone, he waited a minuted before speaking. "I'm very sorry for what you suffered. I know that's small consolation-"

"You're right." Jessica snapped. Just when she thought she would do better to try and forgive, the old anger surged up in her until it choked her. His words angered her. Those she loved were dead and he thought to cancel out that with mere words.

"I'm not going to try and defend the decisions I made." He said curtly. "They were a necessary if unfortunate result of war. I'm not here to offer excuses. I'm here to give you a chance to fight back."

"Aganist which enemy exactly?" Jessica shot back.

"We're not the enemy, Ms Talbot."

"Because of you, my family was wiped out. You took your ship and got the hell out of dodge, which I would have done too but you left thousands of people behind to die. You are not my friend, Commander. With everything inside of me, I hate you. I went to your room, not to kill you, but to kill your precious son. That's right. So that you would feel what I felt." the words came out of her mouth in a rush of blissful relief. The commander sat by her bed and handed her a kleenex from the box on the table. Jessica hadn't even noticed that the tears were streaming off her chin, down her neck. She buried her face in her hands and began to sob. It was all too much. One moment she was angry, the next she was sobbing. The commander offered no words of comfort. He simpy sat and waited for her to get her emotions under control. When she was sniffling but no new tears threatened, William spoke again.

"Do you think you could detect any Cylons in our fleet?" Jessica blew her nose and stared at him.

"You want me to sniff out the Cylons? Actually go looking for them?" Jessica's eyes widened with horror at even the idea of it.

"We have 21 ships in our fleet. Thousands of people.The Cylons could easily integrate themselves into our crews and we'd never know it until they decided to show themselves. We have a specialist, Dr Gaius Baltar who's helping us with those who are suspected of being Cylons but we need to strike earlier." Jessica glared at him.

"So you need me. Or, more accurately you need what I can do." she said quietly. Her anger churned in the pit of her stomach.

"That's right." he nodded.

"Go to hell."Jessica's arm shot out with a slap, knocking the glasses off his face. Kara burst into the room, gun ready.

"No!" William shouted at her. "Stand down, lieutenant."

"Sir-" Kara protested.

"That's an order." William insisted. Kara spared Jessica a last warning glance and lowered her arms. She placed herself against the wall, and William didn't object to her presence. He leaned down and picked the glasses off the floor.

"You think about it." William said to Jessica.

"There is nothing to think about. The answer is no. Frak you and your fleet."

"Call me an optimist but I think you'll change your mind." William said rising to his feet.

"I'll call you an idiot instead." Jessica sneered. William shrugged with a small smile.

"I've been called worse. I'll see about getting you some breakfast."

"Thank you." the words came automatically to her and without thought. Jessica closed her eyes wishing she could take them back.