Little Shop of Mutants

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer"No, dear. That's a frog. Bears wear hats".

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I apologise for lack of updates yesterday. I went to see the Magic Roundabout Movie, GROOVY BABY!

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ACT 4 - A new kind of miracle-grow

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Back in the flower shop, buisness is booming (or blooming, ba dum pum) as more and more customers show up.

"That plant in the window it's simply amazing", says Callisto

"That plant in the window, wherever did you get it", says Agatha"because it's EVIL"

"Hush, you'll spoil the plot", hisses Warren.

"Look, there it is, Teryn", says Duncan.

"Oh my gosh, it's peculiar", says Teryn.

We see that buisness get even better, and the shop sells flowers by the truck load. By the end of the day, they have lots more cash

"Thank you, thank ya very much sir", he says, then grins"Thank you Come again"

"Vho do you think you are, Apu", mutters Kurt.

"Come an' look at the werido plant some more", shouts Todd"It's just gonna get bigger an' more interesting".

Todd and Amanda dance around in happiness

"You tell anyone I even looked at you", says Amanda with a snarl"and you'll walk with a limp for the rest of your life".

"Don't just stand there, yo. Quick, put that plant back in the", Todd pauses"...what did ya call it".

"Amanda II", says Kurt.

"Yeah, who could forget a stupid name like that", smirks Todd, doging a swipe from Amanda"Put that Amanda II back in the window where passersby can see it. Oh my God, I never though this could happen".

He puts his arms around both Kurt and Amanda

"Smell...", weezes Kurt.

"Shut up, Wookie Boy", snaps Todd, then sighs happily"Oh, my children...".

"If I thought I was related to you, I'd kill myself", mutters Amanda

"I'm takin' us all out ta dinner tonight", laughs Todd.

"Oh...I'd love to, Mr Tolensky", says Amanda"...but I have a date".

"With that same nogoodnick" snorts Todd"I'm tellin' ya, Amanda, ya don't need a date wit' him, ya need major medical".

"He's a rebel Mr Tolensky, but he makes good money", says Amanda, then sighs"Besides...he's the only fella I got".

She sighs and goes to the door

"Enjoy dinner", she says"Goodnight, Kurt".

She leaves and Kurt watches her go sadly

"Good night", Kurt sighs"...Amanda".

"Poor girl", tuts Todd.

"Are ve still going out", saks Kurt, then grimaces"...that sounds so very, very vrong".

Suddenly, Amanda II wilts and flops in it's pot. Todd looks at it, then at Kurt

"Ya not goin' anywhere, Wagner", snaps Todd"Ya stayin' right here an' takin' car'a that sick plant".

"I told you eet's been giving me trouble", saus Kurt"Amanda II is not a healthy girl".

"Strictly between us, nether is Amanda I", mutters Todd.

"What you saying about my voman", snaps Kurt, then sighs""If only I knew vhat breed eet vas".

"Who cares what breed it is", asks Todd"Look what it's done for buisness".

"I know", sighs Kurt.

"So work, Kurt. Nurse this plant back ta health", says Todd as he goes to leave"I'm countin' on ya".

"I know", says Kurt.

"Ya do", challanges Todd

"I do", says Kurt, then mutters"...bet you go an have dinner all by yourself vith my vages now...".

"Hah", laughs Todd"So fix, goodnight".

Todd leaves and Kurt 'ports down into his basement come home, though we can't SEE the girls, we can hear them singing in the background

Ooooooooooh oooooh wop

Sha la la woooo dop

Ooooooooohhh

Sha la la woooo dop

Oooooooohhhh

Sha la la wooo wop!

Kurt looks out of his tiny window to see Amanda in her home across the street, putting on her make-up for her date. He sighs heavily and puts Amanda II on the table

"Twoey, I don't know vhat else I can do for you", he sighs"Are you a sickly leetle plant, or are you just plain stubborn".

The plant does not answer

"Vhat ees eet you vant?. Vhat ees eet you need", asks Kurt, before begining to sing.

I've given you sunshine


I've given you dirt


You've given me nothing


But heartache and hurt


I'm beggin' you sveetly


I'm down on my knees


Oh, please-grow for me!

I've given you plant food

The three begin to join in.

Sha la la la

And vater to sip

Ooooooohhh

I've given you potash...vhatever that is


You've given me zip

He tries spraying some water on Amanda II

Oh God, how I mist you


Oh pod, how you tease


Now, please-grow for me!

I've given you southern exposure


To get you to thrive

He flicks through a plant book and shows a page to Amanda II, despite it being a plant, and unable to read

I've pinched you back hard


Like I'm suposed to


You're barely alive

He mutteres in German and tosses the book aside

I've tried you at levels of moisture


From desert to mud


I've given you grow-lights


And mineral supplements

He starts to clean up

Vhat do you vant from me- Blood?

He suddenly yelps in pain, after picking up a roses and stabbing himself with a thorn, swearing in German

"Language", says Warren.

"Eeet HURT", snaps Kurt"Damn roses, damn thorns".

He sucks on his finger to try and stop the blood..he pauses after he hears a second sucking sound. He blinks and turns to see the Amanda II sucking at him. He goes to touch it, and it snaps at his finger, making him pull away quickly. Amanda II starts sucking again, every time Kurt's bleeding finger goes near it, it tries to take his finger off. He puts his un-injured finger by Amanda II, who turns it's nose up at the offering

"Oh goodie...a flesh eating plant", grimaces Kurt.

I've given you sunlight


I've given you rain


Looks like you're not happy


'Less I open a vein


I'll give you a few drops


If that'll appease

He closes his eyes and squeases his injured finger allowing three drops to fall into Amanda II's open mouth. It gulps them down, them smiles, settling down

Oh please-oh-oh-oh please-grow for me!

As Kurt leaves the room, Amanda II suddenly grows quickly, denting in the can it is kept in

"Good job people", says Warren, dusting his hands.

"Medic! I von't stop bleeding", screams Kurt"Blood blood blood! Oooooooowww".

"Don't be such a wimp", says Todd

"Hey, you're not ze one bleeding here", whines Kurt.

"Think yourself glad you didn't just have to drink you own offsprings blood", says Mystique, then shudders"...ewwww".

"Our family is screwed...isn't eet", sighs Kurt.

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There we go another act done! Next time, it's Amanda's big sloppy number! Do review, until next time...